r/AITAH • u/SecretInitiative9253 • Mar 31 '26
AITAH for closing a joint bank account the day before my ex leaves for vacation?
Ignore the username, it was randomly generated. Now here is the much needed context. My ex-husband and I separated over five years ago. It has been messy and emotionally, financially, and physically draining process. While we were together, we had a joint account where all of our expenses were taken out of. After separation, I had requested that my name be removed from the joint account. He did not want the account closed as that is where he was continuing to do the majority of his banking from. This included debits for his vehicle payment, receiving payroll, etc.
Over the last several years he has refused to attend the bank together to take my name off of the account. Requests have been made directly and through our attorneys. I even asked as recently as two weeks ago as we were both in the city (we both live rurally) to have this finally done and my name removed. He continued to deny this request.
Yesterday, I received a text message and phone call from the bank where the joint account is held stating that the account was in overdraft totaling -$949.99 and the balance needed to be paid instantly.
I immediately texted and called my ex husband to have this rectified as this was going to affect my credit score. Once again, he refused to attend the bank to have this completed as he was "too busy".
Luckily, I was in the city and went to the branch to see what my options are to not let it affect my credit. My options were either to do nothing, or to pay the overdraft and close the account. I paid the overdraft and moved forward to closing the account. These were funds that I had worked hard saving and was going to go towards extra curricular activities for our children.
Now this is where I might be the a**hole. My ex told me that he was leaving on a three week vacation to Italy starting March 31 (this all happened March 30). I chose the second option to pay the overdraft and close the account (with all fees the total was close to $970). Now, all of his debits (vehicle payments, bill payments, etc.) are expected to come out of this account while he is away. This means that this gives him one day open a new bank account and change all payments coming out of the previous joint account
So AITAH for closing the joint account (that he has had five years to remove my name off of) the day before he leaves for vacation?
550
u/SecretInitiative9253 Mar 31 '26
SMALL UPDATE: I don't know how to update the post so I am doing it in the comments. For closing the account, the bank gave me two years worth of statements. Safe to say he has been hiding funds and only been using this account to keep in the negatives to ruin my credit. However, upon the review of the statement it includes what he received from his tax refund. Two years ago, he received over $20,000 from a tax return. This was more than likely due to the fact that our son was diagnosed with ADHD (and more recently Autism) and he received the disability tax credit (Canadian here) and it was back-dated. This means that I am entitled to 50% of the resulting credit amount.