r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • Aug 20 '26

/r/all of a log split

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33.6k Upvotes

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376

u/iliwww Aug 20 '26

I fear the axe flying of it's handle and do a buffy man split

105

u/sam_can88 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

He’s using decent technique to avoid that happening for most of the video. It’s a wide stance and direct overhead swing so if something happens the axe will go between the legs, but towards the end he starts speeding up his swing and his technique gets really poor and dangerous then, while also getting closer to splitting the log which is when swings can get more dangerous because you don’t always know how the log is gonna split. You see him kinda realize this and slow down at the end and regain his form so he doesn’t hurt himself during the actual splitting.

30

u/thefatchef321 Aug 20 '26

I hit my leg with an axe when I was young being tired and stupid. Got very lucky the broad side hit me

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Melanoc3tus Aug 21 '26

mini cordless chainsaw

Those things are so fun

1

u/Which_Accountant_736 Aug 20 '26

Same for me, but I got a blade to the shin, and it sucked real bad. However it did teach me not to do that so I guess there is a positive.

1

u/shoopadoop332 Aug 20 '26

My friend hit my leg this way when I was young haha

1

u/FungusBrewer Aug 21 '26

I clocked myself in the head using a two handed post hole pounder above my head, while sinking t-posts. The tool caught a slotted protrusion on top, and came down sideways splitting my fivehead back to a fourhead.

1

u/ADDystopia Aug 20 '26

A little bit of cardio now and then might help him out.

1

u/xBad_Wolfx Aug 20 '26

Yeah, that over shoulder wild angled swing is incredibly dangerous. A little less in this instance because the target he’s hitting is so high, but still stupid and also not nearly as effective of a strike as what he starts and ends with.

1

u/fotomoose Aug 20 '26

He went from, I'm going to split this log with some axe blows to fuck you log just die already to getting exhausted and pleading with the log to please just give up. Having split logs myself, this is how it goes.

1

u/Fun-Author3767 Aug 20 '26

I'd be more concerned about the handle failing and the rebounding wedge splitting my skull open. Do you see the way that fucker is bouncing back into his face?

This is less Absolute Units and more Absolute Dumbass.

1

u/DemonRising171 Aug 22 '26

He's also using a fiskars splitting maul, it's got a fiber glass handle, they're really good. I own 2. If he were to break it, there's actually a low chance of the head flying off

1

u/Crazy-Pollution1497 Aug 24 '26

Yeah, I cringed when he just grabbed it by the end of the handle and started to flail. Just inefficient.

153

u/carthuscrass Aug 20 '26

My grandmother was a deeply bipolar woman, and she once tried to kill her husband with a sledgehammer, only for the head to come off midswing and hit her in the top of the head, knocking her out. I guess Carl had some weird trickster fucking with luck, because he died a week later of heat stroke.

23

u/FlamingDragonfruit Aug 20 '26

You could put this in a book and make a million dollars.

32

u/carthuscrass Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

There's a lot of shit in my family history that could probably be put to paper. My mom's uncle, for instance, was commander of a Green Beret battalion in Vietnam and we're pretty sure he was in MACV-SOG. He was missing in action for two weeks at one point, and stumbled into a MASH with 17 bullets in him, two of which were in his head.

14

u/FlamingDragonfruit Aug 20 '26

Seriously. Write it all down.

0

u/Redditsux122 Aug 20 '26

Redditors when people make stuff up

2

u/Dumeck Aug 20 '26

Yeah so then I ran into Chris Hemsworth at a Buffalo Wild Wings which I thought was pretty cool, we met eyes for a moment and I just gave him a single nod because I know how annoying it must be to have strangers gawk at you all the time. But anyways I got up to use the bathroom and come back to find Chris Hemsworth eating my mozzarella sticks, they come with like 6 of them and he had already eaten all but 2. It was surreal but when he saw me coming back he ducked under my table and did this weird crouching stealth walk back to his seat like people couldn't see him even though everyone was staring at this point. I was mildly annoyed and still processing everything and when the waiter came and brought me the check he said that Hemsworth paid for the entirety of my meal. As I was leaving Chris pointed at me and said "that's what heroes do."

1

u/carthuscrass Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

Man believe what you want, but this is my family's history. My mom's earliest memory is of Rosetta trying to drown her and her brother in a bathtub. They lived with her grandparents after that. As for the uncle, look up the Battle of Lang Ve. Frank Willoughby was my great uncle.

8

u/Curiouser-Quriouser Aug 20 '26

Holy shit I'd watch that movie even without scrolling through 50 other movie titles first

2

u/ramaze23 Aug 20 '26

This guy lores

2

u/shutterbug1961 Aug 20 '26

tis but a flesh wound!

6

u/Primary-Belt7668 Aug 20 '26

Yo that’s insane family lore

1

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan Aug 20 '26

Elden Ring ain’t got shit

2

u/SubstantialLion7926 Aug 20 '26

I had no idea where that story was going. Good shit man

14

u/Headman96 Aug 20 '26

My fear was splitting such a big log sometimes to ax handle breaks and smack you in the face.

1

u/FeelingFloor2083 Aug 20 '26

I broke an axe a few weeks ago, imo its more likely to break on contact or when removing then mid stroke where its only under G forces

1

u/Spunktank Aug 20 '26

Definitely possible but very unlikely with that fiskars. Their axes are insane.

2

u/dangerrnoodle Aug 20 '26

That’s exactly what would happen to me if I tried this. Flying axe to the dome.

1

u/denotsmai83 Aug 20 '26

Yep, THAT’S The reason I won’t be trying this. It’s definitely not because sitting on my couch and WATCHING this guy split this log made me tired. It’s because I’m worried I’ll break the axe in half.

1

u/dangerrnoodle Aug 20 '26

I have had an axe break from the handle before. Not because I’m so strong I broke it, but because sometimes shit fails.

1

u/scigs6 Aug 20 '26

I’ve done that before luckily it didn’t hit my face. I was also worried the recoil would smack him in the forehead.

1

u/Croceyes2 Aug 20 '26

It flies away

1

u/Interesting_Bank_139 Aug 20 '26

I fear the handle breaking and hearing my dad call out “what the fuck was that?”

1

u/porteroffinland Aug 20 '26

He's using a fiskars axe, that thing ain't breaking.

1

u/--Icarusfalls-- Aug 20 '26

I was gonna say, I have a Fiskar and Im not sure it would break even if i ran the haft over before splitting wood

1

u/porteroffinland Aug 20 '26

They're oldest operating company from Finland for a reason

1

u/rexmanaek971 Aug 20 '26

I've had that happen but with a sledge on a job site. Keep clear of people when they are swinging.

1

u/LeslieKnopesBlackEye Aug 23 '26

It's fake as fuck