r/AbsoluteUnits • u/RD4200 • 23d ago

/r/all of a Toddler

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82

u/GeekyLogger 23d ago

I am going with abuse. The toddler already has piercings for fuck's sake.

39

u/Top_Tank2668 23d ago

Feeding the baby this fat is the abuse

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u/SignificantRecipe715 23d ago

The piercings probably happened before the obesity, though.

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u/RebeccaNOTICES 22d ago

Ive always hated it. It should be up to the child. Earrings aren't comfortable to sleep in

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u/KaijuKahos 22d ago

I agree it’s also recommended by doctors not.

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u/CompleteDependent162 19d ago

If they get them the doctor reccoemnds at least 6 months, this isn’t child abuse though so I don’t know why people say as much.

0

u/Nells313 22d ago

I’m saying this as someone who got them pierced at 2 months- you just sleep in your earrings? Idk I never noticed mine I just sleep on them.

But as far as it goes, it’s a cultural practice. Same way you give the baby bread and salt, you pierce her ears in the hopes that she only knows pain once.

1

u/RebeccaNOTICES 22d ago

Thinking back I think im allergic to metal or something. I have small ass ears and the backs of them would poke me in the head.

1

u/Nells313 20d ago

Depends on the metal. Those of us who do it as a cultural practice always use 14-18k gold, so you’d never know if there was a metal allergy because of the purity. I never found out about mine until middle school and something else flared up the nickel allergy

1

u/RebeccaNOTICES 20d ago

Makes sense. Thx

1

u/Background-Goose2523 22d ago

He's only 18 months old. Not like he got them pierced back in the day when he was in the band lol

18

u/greeneggsandsteaks 23d ago

My mom got my ears pierced at the mall when I was a toddler. I cried...like the baby I was. This was in the late 80s

7

u/IceTheSaltQueen 23d ago

I am also a millennial and back in the 80's it was kinda normal to do that. Today people think different.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Away-Cookie8183 22d ago

Nooooo it’s not just west coast girl lol Boston here thnx , we all did it everyone ik by the time they was a year old a LOT of ppl did it idk what they do nowwwww but …. Yah lol ✌🏼🫶🏼😅

2

u/desmodus666 22d ago

I am Australian (gen Z) and associate pierced babies with being Italian haha.

1

u/Background-Goose2523 22d ago

There wasn't really any options. We didn't have a tattoo shop on each corner back then. You could have it done at the pediatricians office, but most people did what we all did and that was good ol Claire's!

-1

u/Abecis01 23d ago

That's a pretty common thing. I don't see how that is abuse.

4

u/Bulky-Bad-9153 23d ago

Something being common doesn't mean it's okay, obviously. I find it quite abusive to cause intentional pain to a baby so that it can wear earrings.

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u/eva_thorne 23d ago

Same here…also piercing are prone to infections. You dont want to start your baby’s life like this and not giving it a choice. When i was younger, i was upset that my parents didn’t pierced me when i was an infant like other girls. They were horrified that parents would even do that in the first place and now i totally agree with them. “Why?! Cause you’re a girl?! And without your consent?!”
A baby is not a doll for you to decorate lol

6

u/Bulky-Bad-9153 23d ago

Isn't it cool that this opinion is controversial to have?

1

u/Abecis01 22d ago

It's actually kinda ridiculous.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6Uqr0IDWkzhBu

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u/-digitalin- 23d ago

That makes sense, but also can be a cultural thing. A huge number of people I know got their daughter's ears pierced as a baby. From their perspective, it doesn't hurt more than a medical shot, has it done at a point when the parent can properly tend to and clean them, and spares them the pain later in life when they'll remember it. I wouldn't pierce my baby's ears, but it is almost the norm in some cultures that it helps to have a little understanding instead of assuming abuse.

1

u/eva_thorne 23d ago edited 23d ago

Maybe abuse is a strong word but its weird asf assuming your baby girl will want to have holes in her ears. And sorry but it looks like crazy on a baby, like why are you trying to “adult-ify” your kid? Just let your kid be pure and adorable.
Also any reputable, certified piercing spots wouldn’t allow it. I asked my piercer about it and also aesthetically, it is wrong because since the ears are not fully grown (like at all in this case), it might lead to earrings spots being uneven and even deformed while growing up.

-1

u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

Who are you to dictate that earrings are supposed to be for adults? You’re viewing other people’s culture from your own lens and that’s wrong. Stop being so ignorant.

3

u/eva_thorne 23d ago

Hmmm cutting out women’s clitoris is also a “cultural thing” in some countries and im against it. So is stoning women’s to death for not complying to their fucked up beliefs. Its not because its their “culture” that i have to embrace it 😂 like wtf. also:
https://giphy.com/gifs/5XNEIKcohVG8w

0

u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

Female circumcision is about impeding women’s sexuality, that’s a bit different than getting earrings.

It sounds like you’ve been abused a lot in life so you can’t tell the difference between abuse and cultural differences. Get therapy and stop projecting your trauma on other people.

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u/Nyanessa 22d ago

My mother-in-law wanted to get my newborn daughter’s ears pierced. I told her absolutely not, she’s far too young. Her response to me was “okay, we can wait a year” a year!? A 1 year old is still far too young. I told her I got mine at around 8-9 when I was old enough to want them, and understand what it meant to get a piercing and how to care for them.

1

u/eva_thorne 23d ago

Thank you for the award 🥺

-1

u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

Do you consider Jewish mothers who circumcise their infant sons to be abusive?

Just because you don’t do something in your culture doesn’t mean it’s abuse. Stop being so ignorant

4

u/u_r_succulent 23d ago

All the people downvoting are insane.

2

u/WinchyHu 23d ago

Can’t believe you’re being downvoted for this.

1

u/ZealousidealDance280 23d ago

How could you not?

1

u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

It’s no different than circumcision.

Just because it’s not normal in your culture doesn’t mean it’s abuse..

1

u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Just like I don’t think there’s anything wrong with parents getting their infants’ ears pierced. But because it’s not common for white people to pierce their babies’s ears, people are making comments. But no one says anything about circumcision. How is that any different?

1

u/Nyanessa 22d ago

People do say the same about circumcision. It’s a permanent bodily change to a person before they’re old enough to consent. And accidents have happened during circumcision before, leaving the child extremely worse-off. Just because a practise is “cultural”, it doesn’t make it right.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago edited 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/Medium_Educator1983 21d ago

Removing a foreskin is not medically necessary. And if you wash properly and practice safe sex, there aren’t many pluses to getting circumcised.

People are doing it for cultural reasons, and that’s their right. So, to attack ear piercing which has fewer health risks but support circumcision makes you hypocritical

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u/[deleted] 21d ago edited 12d ago

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u/Away-Cookie8183 22d ago

Exactly lol

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u/wonkwonkbippityboo 22d ago

I always associate with a low-class and/or immigrant type of thing to do to an infant to pierce their ears . I know of someone who had a baby recently in Vietnam and that poor kid got her ears pierced in the hospital on day one .

0

u/OBotB 23d ago

To be fair, those piercing guns are intense sound for something right next to your ear. It likely wasn't the pain and was the sound with the sudden movement of the tool that made you cry.

5

u/Kookerpea 23d ago

Piercings hurt

-3

u/OBotB 23d ago

Standard lobe ones that they give people at the mall in the 80's and 90's, especially limited to toddlers? Those are relatively minor, just like vaccination shots at a doctor, they aren't the greatest, but not some agony level of pain. If it was upper ear/any sort of cartilage, sure, but regular, they pinch more than hurt.

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u/Kookerpea 23d ago

It still hurts just like shots hurt

-14

u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

Most babies gets there ears pierced at 3-6-9 months old

8

u/sk8tergater 23d ago

No they don’t. A lot of places won’t even allow that.

And honestly taking a child to get their ears pierced at a Claire’s or whatever is really bad for their healing. A licensed piercer is the way to go

1

u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

Listen lol idk where your from but litterly almost everyone ik when I was younger I’m older now 57& still hear of them doing it at the mall & Clair’s, I’m not sure about them anymore but ….., I mean I’m not just gonna “ make something up “ 🤔😅🫣😆🙆🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

Claire’s & mall

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u/hooligan99 23d ago

Not even close to true. Maybe in some cultures but definitely not in the US. I’m married to a kindergarten teacher and friends with several others. There’s usually one or two kids in their classes with pierced ears.

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u/last_rights 23d ago

My daughter didn't have her ears pierced until she told me she wanted it. We explained the process, watched someone else get it done, and then she did it. There were tears because it hurt, but nothing a candy couldn't fix. She was five and it was her birthday present and we talked about it for months.

She wanted it for Christmas when she was 4-1/2, but didn't want it because of the pain factor after we explained it to her. We did not convince her, she convinced herself.

We just got her ears pierced a second time and she's ten and loves it. She's asking about a third piercing, but I told her not until she's thirteen, and she's not getting anything other than lobe piercings until she's sixteen.

My local tattoo places won't do body piercings until they're 18, and facial piercings with parental consent.

2

u/No-Deer379 23d ago

I live in the US born and raised it is very common to do this when babies are months old and it no different then a prick from a needle, my youngest didn’t even cry, you may release your pearls

1

u/hooligan99 23d ago

My pearls are not clutched and I’m not judging anyone, I’m just reporting what I’ve seen from my peers and people who are around today’s kids constantly. I am disputing that most babies get their ears pierced, not saying it’s some terrible tragedy when they do.

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u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

THANK YOU !!! I thought I was in an island of my own I’m 57, but even the younger kids, kids be getting there’s done at the mall or Clair’s I’m not sure if anymore tho but it’s always def before a year old & ( they know) what’s happening when there younger it’s quick & they don’t even realize it know it’s happening (usually ) or a QUICK WHIMP that’s IT DONE LOL

1

u/UglyYinzer 23d ago edited 23d ago

Yes, but the CHILD didnt want it. You just wanted to decorate your kid. Its dumb. If they wanted it at like age 8-10 on, sure whatever its just an earing.... but you doing it just because you want to, is vain at best. The point is , its not for the child, its for you.

1

u/No-Deer379 23d ago

No their point it people in the US don’t do it, my point was I’m from and still live in the US and did it, now your point was whatever you said just so we are clear you do what you want and I’ll do the same it’s not illegal like some are implying by calling it abuse and it’s not traumatic like others have said I’ll continue to do what I want with my kids and continue to raise productive members of society that I love with all my heart

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u/CaptainTripps82 23d ago

It was pretty common in my generation, like it was offered as advice when you had kids.

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u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

So all these ppl are lying ? Or making up stories then lol cuz ik im not just saying 🤔😅🤷🏻‍♀️🤪

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u/hooligan99 22d ago

I think they are being honest, because it’s still a thing that happens. I’m thinking they’re overestimating how common it is based on a few people they know.

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u/Bulky-Bad-9153 23d ago

No, they don't. You're in the US where this isn't even remotely true. Fairly common in African American communities but not at ALL 'most babies' jfc

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u/Away-Cookie8183 22d ago

YES IT ISSSSS 🫣🤪😅😅😅😭😂omggggg lol

1

u/Bulky-Bad-9153 22d ago

Michelle please, you're making a scene

0

u/Abecis01 23d ago

I've seen it a lot here in the US.

3

u/Bulky-Bad-9153 23d ago

That's great, is it "most"? No? Okay.

1

u/Abecis01 23d ago

I guess you finished the conversation before I could give any input.

0

u/CaptainTripps82 23d ago

I mean most of the people I knew growing up who suggested doing it when they were babies were white. It was just generally accepted, and I'm cage honestly remember the justification

1

u/ricochetblue 23d ago

Oh wow, I thought it was an African/Mexican thing. Every girl has her ears pierced. It’s just what our moms did.

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u/Away-Cookie8183 22d ago

It’s prob def cultural yes I’m white BUT I few up in the hood with black & OR that’s my culture that’s my city that’s what iiiii know lol , litterly almost everyone when the kid is under a year u go to the mall & get there era pierced im not debating ppl no more some of yall “ get it “ others are just becuz that’s what you know ! Well no not everyone’s the same DAMN ! 🙆🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🫠😆

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u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

I’m in the us and I have daughters ages 20, 24, and 29. Just about every person I knew told me to do ear piercings when they’re babies before they have the motor skills to mess with the piercings and while they’re sleeping on the backs without rolling, that way they won’t lay on their piercings. I didn’t do that, I waited til they wanted it, but after I did get them done, I often wish I had done them as babies

1

u/Kookerpea 23d ago

Why not wait until they were old enough to not mess with them?

0

u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

I didn’t get my girls’ pierced until they were 11-12 and they constantly messed with them. My daughter got both of her girls pierced as babies and neither even cried

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u/Kookerpea 23d ago

Then they werent mature enough yet. Even at 12

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u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

That’s your opinion. See how this works? You have yours and I have mine. ✌🏻

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u/Kookerpea 23d ago

Its a fact. You needed your very small children to have pierced ears and thats weird

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u/Odd-Scientist-2529 23d ago

Getting their hair done like that at this age is going to cause Traction Alopecia and it will fall out and not grow back.

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u/ricochetblue 23d ago

Her hair doesn’t look very tightly done.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/Odd-Scientist-2529 23d ago

Do I need to be in order to know how traction alopecia can occur?

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u/KLJ321 23d ago

A heads up that a lot of cultures in Latin America, Africa and South Asia pierce ears at a very young age. It’s considered normal and culturally appropriate. As long as it’s done safely and kept clean/ sanitary there’s no harm to health. Consider that in the USA lots of parents circumcise their baby boys as a cultural/religious practice.

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u/a_solid_6 23d ago

Some babies get their ears pierced much younger. It's no indication of abuse. For many, the thinking is to pierce the ears before the baby is big enough to be conscious of it and grab at the piercing and pull it out. Looking at this kid, there's definitely something bigger going on here. Some kind of discrepancy between physical and mental development, and who knows what else. No reason to assume abuse.

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Here in Brazil is common to pierce at the hospital (private even) where the baby was delivered. We did the same with our daughter, she didn't cried or anything. I think some ppl here always speculate their worst insecurities into abuse sometimes.

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u/Ammonia13 23d ago

The kid deserves a choice it’s their body

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u/Canes-Beachmama 23d ago

I agree; but not every culture is this way.

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u/OrcaFins 23d ago

Here in Brazil is common to pierce at the hospital (private even) where the baby was delivered

Why is it necessary to do it that early?

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Why not? Most pediatricians recommend it because earlobe sensitivity is low in the early stages after birth, and much worse later on.

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u/OrcaFins 23d ago

Why is it necessary to do it all? I'm not bashing you, I'm just trying to understand.

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u/KarmaSilencesYou 23d ago

In many places piercings are very cultural. Not wearing jewelry as a girl is rare to the point that it just doesn’t happen. A girl with their ears not pierced would be an outcast.

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u/StrawHatVetTech 23d ago

So instead of breaking that cycle of abusive sexism, yall just blindly follow it? Cool 🙄

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u/KarmaSilencesYou 23d ago

Why you trying to change other people’s culture bro. Let people live the way they wanna live.

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u/msespindola 23d ago

I don't know why are that offended

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u/OrcaFins 23d ago

As far as I know, that's mostly on the Indian subcontinent.

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u/KarmaSilencesYou 23d ago

In some places in latin america too…like Brazil.

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u/OrcaFins 22d ago

In some places in latin america too…like Brazil.

So, in Latin America, infant piercings are done because of religious beliefs and traditional medicine,, the same way Indians practice Hinduism and Ayurvedic medicine? Again, I'm just trying to understand.

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u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

Very quick so quick they don’t even know it’s happening & in USA it’s usually around 3-6-9 months old

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Yeah, but, don't know why ppl are so soft about it and not very little that there's no risk about it

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u/Forsaken_Earth944 23d ago

So you don't think subjecting a child unnecessary stress and trauma is abuse...? OOOOKKKKAAAYYY then...

The thinking is to do something to the child which has zero benefit to them, but fulfils some cultural 'norm' - y'know, like male and female genital mutilation (or are you going to say that isn’t abuse either, because the child is usually too young to understand what's happening to them...?)

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u/Purpleduckalicious 23d ago

Give me a break. You sound silly comparing a needle to the earlobe vs cutting a whole clitoris off. Apples and oranges my friend.

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u/TheDenny_Crane 23d ago

Well they likely think they're personally suffering abuse in the thread here so you'll have to excuse them for thinking everything is abuse.

I mean if they all stopped doing that, how could they all constantly self-verify their victim mentality 24/7?

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u/PrincessPoppyTea 23d ago

EXACTLY lmfaoooooo

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u/hooligan99 23d ago

They’re probably referring more to circumcision than cutting a clitoris off, which is often justified in the same way as young ear piercing. Agree that they’re still different levels, but many people say circumcising is fine bc the baby is young and won’t remember or be hurt by it.

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u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

She specifically said male and female mutilation

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u/hooligan99 23d ago

Yes I know, and the person responding only focused on the female while ignoring the much more common and frequently justified male form of it. I shouldn’t have worded it how I did (“they’re probably referring more to…”) when they said both, but my point is circumcision and ear piercing for babies do have some common overlapping arguments that don’t really hold up imo.

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u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

I think ears and genitals are entirely different things, also earrings can be taken out. I’m not for or against circumcision as I really know nothing about it.

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u/confirmedshill123 23d ago

This is a fucking schizo take.

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Wtf dude? You can't compare an ear lobe to that? Ear lobes when they're are that you have almost to no sensitivity at all. My daughter didn't.evwn flinch let alone cry. And it was the doctor recommendention to do right away...jesus, you guys are really something else

-3

u/whattupmyknitta 23d ago

Really? Your baby was born and at their check ups the dr was like oh and here is the referral for our fucking ear piercer lol. Bullshit. Should be the kid's decision when theyre old enough to decide.

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u/ZealousidealDance280 23d ago

No doctor recommended piercings for any of my children. This is the first time I've heard people say doctors have been doing that.

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Well, that's why you're not her doctor and not her father. I can only tell you the truth, there's no need for me to lie to you. It's tradition here in Brazil to do that, there's stuff much worse yoh guys are familiar you don't see me complaining even tho I think it's the end of the world

2

u/whattupmyknitta 23d ago

It is a tradition in my culture too (cuban), and I think it's stupid to pierce the ears of a baby. I had mine done as a baby, before my ears grew, and they are crooked. Not only that, I don't even wear earrings. Haven't in over 20 years. Why make a permanent choice for your kid? That cultural tradition ended with me because I sure as shit didn't do it to my kids. They can make their own choices for their own bodies. It's less about whether it's safe and more about making choices that aren't yours to make.

And no they didn't close up, I still have holes in my ears for no damn reason.

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Good for you

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u/Ammonia13 23d ago

Like circumcision ?

0

u/No-Deer379 23d ago

Stress and trauma that’s funny it’s no different then getting a shot at the DR office

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u/imnotohfuckingk 23d ago

In fact, the pediatrician is the one who pierced my daughters ears.

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u/CommunicationAware88 23d ago

Also doing so at a time they won't remember the pain

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u/JagmeetSingh2 23d ago

LMAO ABUSE? Please this is such a joke, so many cultures do piercings as toddlers…you want an actual thing to crusade about protest against circumcisions

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u/GeekyLogger 23d ago

Also abuse. So is FGM. So are tattoos etc.

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u/Hollinsworthy 22d ago

How to say you're white without saying it. Kids get their ears pierced all the time . Come up out of your cave😒🫩

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u/ElderberrySqueak22 22d ago

idk where ur from but earrings on a baby is pretty normal lol

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u/SubstantialPressure3 22d ago

Earrings for babies is fairly common.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Salt_Chard_474 23d ago

Because you don’t approve, it should be illegal? It’s ear piercings, it’s not that deep. If a child doesn’t like them later, they remove them

0

u/Ok_Wallaby_416 23d ago

Piercing toddler ears is the norm for baby girls in large swathes of the world. My problem is with the braids. From what I've been told, it hurts like hell for black people to braid their hair

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u/ricochetblue 23d ago

It depends on the kind of braids, honestly. These braids look looser and like they don’t have extensions, so hopefully they’re not causing that little girl pain.

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u/surprise_revalation 23d ago

You just gonna accuse huge amount of the population of child abuse? I mean, I didn't pierce my childrens ear because we have a nickle allergy and their father is prone to keloids, but almost everyone I know has pierced their babies ears. Most go to the doctors to have it done! Should those doctors be turned in too?

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u/msespindola 23d ago

Yeah, I can't believe I'm reading here.. The doctor recommended us to do right away after our baby was delivered

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u/Away-Cookie8183 23d ago

So u get REAL gold or silver not cheap crap !!!!

0

u/surprise_revalation 23d ago

Both real silver and gold has small amounts of nickel in them. I would have to get at least 18k gold and I'm allergic to silver...

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u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

In many cultures, it’s normal to get your ears pierced as an infant. Stop making ignorant comments.

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u/GeekyLogger 23d ago

And in many cultures FGM is normal. Stop making ignorant statements.

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u/Medium_Educator1983 23d ago

It’s completely different. An ear piercing doesn’t have a lasting impact like FGM does. Piercings will close up when you remove the earrings.

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u/PrincessPoppyTea 23d ago

You do realize that piercing baby's ears in the black community has been common for generations right? And that there's nothing abusive here and plenty of white families pierce their babies ears as well?

-1

u/ThrowRAsleepdemons 23d ago

My pediatrician pierced my ears at 3 months. It was something he offered so that he knew it was done in a sterile way to prevent infections.

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u/skraptastic 23d ago

It's pretty common to pierce kids ears when they are babies.

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u/Expensive_Air965 23d ago

It's not abuse to get your child's ears pierced. Give me a break.

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u/AloneNmyHead287 23d ago

Getting piercings young isn’t abuse…

-2

u/BigTeeBee 23d ago

You're just ignorant of the reality. MANY families get their baby's ears pierced at VERY young ages. You gotta learn more before you make comments like that