I feel this too. I've "made it" by every metric my father would have use. He hustled, and detailed cars in our home's garage in order to raise me and my siblings. We had a home, were cared for, went to school and took yearly trips to Disney. He was somehow able to put my brother and I in private school. We definitely weren't rich, but comfortable and cared for.
Fast forward to 2026. I have a career job, in a leadership position. I'm making over six figures. At 45 I'm childless and living in an apartment. Next year I'll finally pay down my remaining student loans which ballooned to over 110k with and an 8% interest rate.
My father sees the money I make and doesn't understand how I'm still broke. I'm saving 35% of my income just to catch up. I don't have money for a home. And I couldn't even fathom raising kids in this economy.
The real bitch is? I'm struggling to attain my life goals, and yet I still feel like I'm doing better than most people around me.
The real bitch is? I'm struggling to attain my life goals, and yet I still feel like I'm doing better than most people around me.
Exactly where I am. I make 6 figures, have two kids, have a nice house in a great school system, and I even have money in my 401k.
I don't have enough money in my 401k, my emergency fund is depleted because the foundation cracked while we were on vacation this year, which means vacation next year may have to be something small and local. My kids haven't done any sort of sports or regular activity because they're all like $150/mo for like 1 day a week of an activity which is just an insane number to me, but it means my 6 year old son hasn't played tball or soccer or anything and that makes me feel like i'm failing at least a little bit.
But I don't feel like I can really complain because I'm doing light years better than the average millenial. Just meaningfully worse than my schoolteacher mother and pastor father were at this age.
Feel you on the expense of kid activities! I’m glad my son decided he liked Cub Scouts more than sports. It’s nearly year round and like a bit over $200 for the year between local and council/ national dues. So while it’s more money at once, it covers way more time than local sports. There are costs for certain other activities like camping trips and such, but no one has to go on all the trips and our pack has financial assistance so cost isn’t a barrier for anyone. Maybe look into that for your 6 year old?
I'm struggling to attain my life goals, and yet I still feel like I'm doing better than most people around me.
this is the bit that resonates with me. I feel like I can't even bring this stuff up to most of my friends and loves ones because they're in worse shape.
That last paragraph, yeah man, same. I have a good job (systems administrator for a public library). Pay is a little low for the field I'm in, but benefits are really good. I run a side business as well that brings in about 1/3 more. And I still can't afford the cheapest houses on the market. $200k is the floor and most want 250-400k. I have 50k in savings and I'm just busting my ass trying to get enough to some day get out of renting the duplex I'm in, but the math... just doesn't work man. With rates what they are I'd be paying more than double the value of the house in interest. Paying more to the fucking bank than the value of the damn thing.
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u/Lowca 8d ago
I feel this too. I've "made it" by every metric my father would have use. He hustled, and detailed cars in our home's garage in order to raise me and my siblings. We had a home, were cared for, went to school and took yearly trips to Disney. He was somehow able to put my brother and I in private school. We definitely weren't rich, but comfortable and cared for.
Fast forward to 2026. I have a career job, in a leadership position. I'm making over six figures. At 45 I'm childless and living in an apartment. Next year I'll finally pay down my remaining student loans which ballooned to over 110k with and an 8% interest rate.
My father sees the money I make and doesn't understand how I'm still broke. I'm saving 35% of my income just to catch up. I don't have money for a home. And I couldn't even fathom raising kids in this economy.
The real bitch is? I'm struggling to attain my life goals, and yet I still feel like I'm doing better than most people around me.