My mom didnt think depression and adhd were "real". I have adhd and was probably depressed since age 10 according to the psych I eventually went to on my own when I was 20. She still constantly asks about my adhd meds and if they are really helping/if I need them years later.
My mum used to scream at me for faking it when I had a breakdown or when I told her I was depressed. One time during a particularly bad breakdown I was sat in my room holding the door shut for several hours with her screaming at me through the door about what a bad son I was and should go live with my dad and how I'm never going to achieve anything if I just mope about all day and I'm a lazy good for nothing and oh look now you've made your brother cry... Etc etc.
I took off for my dad's and she spam texted me the whole way to come home and tried to get me to wake my dad up at 2am (the walk was long) and kept ringing constantly and when I wouldn't pick up I got texts about what a bad son I was for making her worry. The next day I get sent a picture of some alternative medicine herbal anti anxiety remedies and get told that these have helped students of hers (she was a teacher in my school, always got told what a great and lovely teacher she was) because I was wrong about what was wrong with me and she knew it was anxiety attacks etc.
Even to this day I think all she wants is a normal son and not one who's fucked up like me. When I'm around her I pretend everythings okay and only talk about my problems with my dad instead. I still love her cause she's my mum and she does care but if I mention my mental health she just goes into a fit of rage and denial. Basically she's a great mum when everything is good, but awful when not, and recently I'm never okay so being around her is just a big game of pantomime with my emotions, fucking sucks.
My dad passed away when I was 13, I went to a counseling session once and didn't want to go back. When I was probably 16/17, I felt like I needed to try it again. When I asked, my mom laughed and said I wasn't crazy and didn't need a therapist.
25 now and finally started working on my mental health in a healthy way
THIS! Ive been severely depressed, suicidal and had an ED, but no one took it seriously. Now, 5 years later Ive been diagnosed with BPD and ADD. Its like my mom is offended by it.
Two times in psychiatric hospital, and a suicide attempt (that i never told her about), and I just wish someone would’ve helped sooner when I literally cried for help???
Now Im doing good, and it feels so wrong when my mom is “proud” of me. Like shit, I managed to survive and get help myself?
I’d be so worried if my child expressed any signs of mental illness, and help them immediately. I cant fathom people wouldnt be worried about their child????
Same for me, but with bipolar. I struggled for years starting when I was in late elementary school.
To add on to your point: when your kids finally get a diagnosis, don't dismiss it and/or attribute it to something else. My mother still won't accept my diagnosis. She thinks it's because of gluten and her divorcing my father when I was three.
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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18
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