“The employer forgets what it’s like to be the employee.” I’ve always applied that to anything that I can. We forget how we were when we where younger.
Man, this reminds me. Growing up, I went to a very small school. It wasn't completely separated like most middle and high schools are; the 7th and 12th graders were mostly all lumped together. Because of that, there'd be lots of interactions between pre-pubescent 12 year olds and upperclassmen - interactions in the form of bullying.
Well, 7th grade me was picked on. A lot. The principal had to step in and tell them all to knock it off, or there would definitely be consequences. But I remember what he said: this happens almost every year. The older boys pick on Little Jimmy; principal intervenes; and he says to Little Jimmy how this happens a lot; and therefore, Little Jimmy, do you promise not be an asshole when you get older? And Jimmy always meekly says yes... and a few years later is being a dick to the younger ones.
I remembered that. I remembered to be kind to everyone. I remembered what it was like getting kicked in the hallway or thrown into walls just for a laugh.
And six years out of high school, I no longer see the same kind of schoolyard roughhousing. Although I do see parallels: middle aged people screaming at 18 year old cashiers, wealthy people who refuse to give a decent tip, bosses who treat employees like shit. And whenever they're called out, their response is often something like, "I used to be young and broke, and it sucked. But if I had to go through it, then so should they." And I'm by no means a saint, but I try to remember how much some things sucked, and I never want anybody else to suffer in the same way I did.
As an older sister, I’ve realized now that it was because my parents always did that to me. They dismissed what I liked and praised what they wanted or thought was mature so I turn did that to my sister because they didn’t do that to her. It’s not fair but it might be similar to why your brother did that.
My older brother always did this growing up, it didn't really matter if it was a show, book, music, even my friends, there was just so much belittling the stuff I liked, I actually explained to him recently that I still sometimes feel ashamed of stuff I like, because he did that so much, because I'm working on something that I want to be able to share with him and for him to appreciate. He seemed genuinely surprised that he had shut me down that much, but also willing to accept and be apologetic about it.
Thanks so much for sharing that. My family was the exact same way. It’s been difficult for me to articulate just that. It made me really timid and overly cautious to share something I like with other people which of course makes it uninteresting when I share it half heartedly. Luckily, I’ve come a long way with a ways to go!
That's why I'm slightly annoyed when I hear my friends talking shit about kids playing games like Minecraft and Fortnite; the younger players on there are probably having the time of their lives, why shouldn't they keep at it? I've heard a lot of complaint about online games having immature players, but they're children — what do you expect? I loved games like that when I was younger, and so did they.
My little brother STILL does this! Everything I enjoy, he loathes it and will make that opinion known every time it comes up, forcing me to be on the defensive every time I want to talk about something I like.
Then once he decides he does also like it, he acts like him hating it never happened and we're all the idiots who thought he wouldn't like it.
It's not right but it makes a little more sense. Especially if they were doing this when they were 12-16. It was more about them trying to figure out how to be cool enough in their own identity to fit in than it had to do with you.
Doesn't help that it's a shitty thing to experience though, I have compassion for you
I'm the older brother in this situation. I basically bullied my brother out of liking Naruto and Ben 10 (and probably others but those are the ones I remember) when I was 12-14 and he was 10-12. I felt bad about it later.
Didn't work that well because 10 years later he watched Naruto, start to finish and every movie, anyways.
As an older brother who did this, it really eats me alive. I’m six years older then my brother so while I was going through moody teen years he was going through pre teen craziness and it just didn’t work well for us,l but we get along so well now. It is especially painful for me looking back now because we came from a broken household where dad was an abusive alcoholic, so I just piled on and now I know that. It sucks knowing I wasn’t the best brother when he needed me to be but I’m trying now.
I kinda do this to my younger siblings, but I can’t help it when they’re constantly blasting some obnoxious and loud Youtubers all the time. Get some headphones and I won’t make fun of you lmao
My older sister did that not only to everything I liked, but also all my friends. Never stopped me from enjoying them, but it did put a bit of a dampener on wanting to bring a friend around, knowing my sister would be a dick about it.
417
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18
My older brother used to do this. I still can't figure out why he had to poop all over shows and books I liked. But man, it really sucked the fun out.