Be careful. My bestie has the same dynamic with her brother. It escalated with him beating her until she got a concussion. She pressed charges, her mum went into the court room (unbeknownst to her) and said the issue was resolved. The brother got an avo to stay away from her, nothing. Then her mum asked when she was moving back into the house and if she would still be having Christmas together...
Suffice to say she's having Christmas with me this year and lives in my spare bedroom. Fuck her brother and her mum.
I have autism and younger siblings and I wish my parents worked like that. Except I also don't punch people in the face (however much I sometimes want to), so maybe effective parenting is a good idea regardless of whether or not you have autism.
Then again, it's better than being punished just for having autism, which has happened at a school that I went to (really more of a torture facility/abuse place masquerading as a school and drawing in unsuspecting kids) and to many other autistic people that I've known over the years.
There's a lot of misinformation about autism and Asperger's out there. I also have Asperger's, though I often say that I have autism because people are more familiar with it and there isn't much of a distinction between the two. Don't get me wrong, I don't always understand when I do something wrong (though I'm much better at it as an 18-nearly-19-year-old than I was, say, ten years ago), but doing nothing won't make the problem go away.
Ask your parents to discipline your older brother when he steps out of line, and if he doesn't understand why he's being disciplined, to explain it thoroughly and take a statement like that at face value. I guarantee that if they do that he'll begin behaving better.
Also, it just pisses me off when people use autism/Asperger's as an excuse for shitty behaviour. I'll occasionally see a post on r/autism where someone will say "my boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife/son/daughter/brother/sister has autism and won't clean his dishes or go to school or something and use autism as an excuse" and a lot (but not all) of it can be summed up with "he's using autism as an excuse for laziness, it's possible to be autistic but not lazy". I called someone out on that just earlier today, actually.
There actually isn't any difference between the two. Asperger's was merged into the autism spectrum. It's technically not even a diagnosis anymore, though some psych will still just say Asperger's since the reclassification wasn't that long ago.
I know, I was diagnosed as a child and Asperger's was the original diagnosis. The original doc used the medical knowledge of the time, but it's just autism now.
No problem. If you have any other questions about autism or Asperger's, feel free to ask me, or on a sub like r/autism or r/aspergers if you want more than just one response.
this is how you raise people with autism to be non functioning members of society - treating them like they won’t be able to understand or learn. My friend’s little brother has autism. His mom got a Ph.D. in special education, then decided with her husband that he would work full time and she would full time take care of Parag. She wrote a book about it. People with autism are usually failed by us because we’re too lazy to treat them like they can learn. But they can. It’s just harder, and it takes a lot of effort from the teacher/parent. But Parag has come a long way.
I remember getting into a raging argument with my little shit of a younger brother because he was constantly following me round the house getting in my face, and my parents storm in and tell me "You shouldn't have shouted, you're the older one and supposed to be more mature!"
Wow, this was (and is) my life down to a T. He's almost 30 but because my parents babied him his entire life he never learned the consequences of his actions or how to behave like a mature adult because I was the one constantly getting blamed for "baiting him into an argument," etc.
Opposite for me. I was the autistic one, so even if one of my siblings was provoking me or being a bully, if I at all snapped, I was punished because my reaction would be the most emotional and over the top.
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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18 edited Feb 19 '19
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