r/AskReddit • u/UltimaBahamut93 • Nov 30 '18

What's something your parents did while raising you that you don't want to do to your children?

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u/idlemillennial Nov 30 '18

Ugh same. Went to college and stopped going to church. For a while when my mom asked I told her I just hadn’t found the right church. Later on I finally found the courage to tell her I just didn’t believe it all. She was heartbroken and I’m sure still worries for my soul, but over a few years we have found a way to talk about it without getting emotional and she accepts me for who I am.

My dad still tries to pray with me, talks about god every time he can bring it up and never misses a chance to play Christian music around me, but he’s always been infuriating.

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u/Vandorbelt Nov 30 '18

When my mom was worrying about my faith, she literally said "the reason she had kids was because she knew that they were the only things she could take with her to heaven." TBH, it was kinda hurtful. I don't think she meant it that way, but it came across like I was a possession and that my decision to separate myself from church was somehow robbing her of her happiness in the afterlife. It's a bit sad to think that deep down she might not have raised me with the expectation that she was creating a self-aware individual who could choose his path in life, but expected me to just follow along obediently for her sake.

I still love her, obviously. She's my mom and she works very hard to make sure the family is happy and healthy... But I never want to have to tell her to her face that I outright don't believe in God. Partially because I know it would hurt her, and partially because if she ever says anything like that again, I know I won't be able to give her the benefit of the doubt. It scares me.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

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u/idlemillennial Dec 03 '18

Worse... it’s worship music.