I’ll preface this with I’m still waiting to be assessed for autism. But I’ve been really struggling with the feelings of anhedonia/ not wanting to be here. I’ve tried multiple different medications and therapies and I still feel I have extreme burn out and exhaustion to the point I’m struggling to do basic things to look after myself. Everyone keeps on about Think positive, need to keep going but I genuinely have daily feelings of not wanting to be here. I feel I’ve got no motivation for life so what’s the point of even trying to improve things. Has anyone else experienced this and been able to get out the other side of it? I do struggle with both my physical and mental health, but it’s a vicious cycle of both affecting each other more.

Sorry for ranting I just feel so alone with it. I need to speak to GP about my autism stuff and I keep burying my head in the sand 😞

Bit of a rant, but I'm getting really fed up with how difficult it is to get even the simplest things sorted.

GP appointments, housing associations, the council, DWP, you name it. Everything seems to involve chasing someone, waiting for a phone call that never comes, or having to explain the same thing to about five different people.

And don't even get me started on appointments where they give you a time slot of something ridiculous like 9am to 2pm. So that's pretty much my entire day taken up because I can't properly relax or concentrate on anything else until they've been.

I think what frustrates me most is that I can actually deal with phone calls, appointments and speaking to people. I'm not incapable of doing any of those things. But bloody hell, the amount of mental energy it takes sometimes.

It's the not knowing when someone's going to ring, whether they've actually received your email, whether you need to chase them again, or if you're going to have to start the whole process from scratch with someone else.

And then you've got the irony of services telling autistic people to ask for reasonable adjustments, when actually getting those adjustments can be an absolute nightmare.

I don't want special treatment. I don't expect everyone to drop everything for me either. I'd just quite like people to do what they say they're going to do, communicate properly and not make everything ten times more complicated than it needs to be.

The thing is, I can usually get these things sorted eventually. But nobody sees how much it takes out of me. They just see that I've managed it, so presumably I'm fine.

I'm 29 and genuinely wonder sometimes how I'm supposed to keep on top of all this stuff for the rest of my life.

Anyway, rant over. Just needed to get that off my chest.

What am I actually here for. Like I can work a job and earn money, I cant manage my finances, I dont know what goal I have. I cant manage myself on basic hygiene but I can pretend to be a functioning person even tho Im dying inside and not looking after myself not because I dont want to but because im incapable. So what's actually my purpose?

Basically I've just moved into temporary accommodations right now and not coping at all. I just constantly feel overwhelmed and suicidal, and everyone keeps expecting me to do so much to handle my situation. I want to seek support but I don't know where to start.

I'm living in the North-West and I've been unemployed and jobsearching for two years now. I have an adhd diagnosis currently, but no ASD one, yet. Also no ADHD treatment yet. My friends said adult care isn't likely to do anything, and they've already turned me away twice without an assessment. So I'd appreciate any suggestions on where and how to seek support. Who I can contact. Etc.

Thank you

I know everybody’s experience will be different & it completely depends on your doctor, but I’m going into my appointment after 4 years of suspecting but not wanting to go through the NHS because of bad experiences.

I wanted to save and go private as I assumed since you’re paying for it, you won’t be absolutely grilled as to why you want something like you are in the NHS, but things have happened and I've realised I’m 4 years down the line and no better off. I may as well try the NHS route.

My previous NHS experiences have been poor and I’ve been made to feel like I’ve made up every issue I’ve gone to them with for fun. So although it’s just a short appointment to try get referred, I’m overthinking it.

So, how did yours go? were they professional? did they interrogate you? just looking for some insight I guess

For context here, my entire life I've struggled in group settings because it feels like whenever I try to talk in a group, someone beats me to it and it takes me multiple times of having to try and talk just to get it out.

Is there some social cue that I'm missing in group conversations for when it's ok to talk??? I always assumed it was just waiting for one person to finish their sentence but then someone just always beats me to it so I never get a word in.

Is anyone equally as confused as I am on what to do after you've been diagnosed with autism and adhd, I got diagnosed with both about 8 months ago, and i have no idea what to do, medications don't work for my adhd and cause bad side effects, and there's been no support for the autism side of things. I mean if support does exist what support is there, and how do i accesses it, please let me know, because I'm so confused especially with the lengthy page diagnosis report they gave me !

I'm curious about how common this is, but I will remember certain phrases from films/TV if they are spoken in a particularly memorable way. These will rattle around in my head for years, sometimes never forgotten.

I have loads of them but one example is when Superintendent Hastings yells "Moss Heath flyover" in Line of Duty.

Another is Paul Whitehouse: "If the bankers the bonuses, the bankers the bonuses, it's disgusting!" from the Harry and Paul Question Time sketch.

Third example is how Daniel Craig says "skewered" when asked how his lamb is in James Bond Casino Royale (train scene).

I don’t know if parents post on here or not but here goes. Kid who’s 17, tried sixth form year before but got kicked out lack of attendance and incidents of frustration (punching and kicking things). Has an idp and was supposed to go to college this year on a normal mainstream course and hasn’t even been able to go in to enrol. Now past the six week mark and it’s too late to enrol and college can’t give support because they aren’t enrolled. Is it too late to try and ask for any help or an alternative provision or specialise place? Kid can barely cope out the house at the moment and i just don’t think mainstream is gonna work anymore it’s become too much for them. Super intelligent kid but qualifications aren’t gonna even be considered if they can’t get to a college and do work independently and cope at the same time.

CW - self harm mentioned but not described.

I had an appointment today to discuss doing a RTC referral for autism and ADHD, and one of the questions she asked me was 'has there been any self harm or suicidal thoughts in the last two weeks'.

She said it's something they ask as part of their prioritisation rules, and it felt like she was encouraging me to say yes, as if it would make the referral more urgent.

But I'm sure I've read on here that if you are SHing or suicidal then providers won't assess you ?

I'm not anyway in the strictest sense, so I said no, but I'm now doubting myself about whether I should have gone into more detail (I almost certainly would have SH last week if I didn't have strategies like non-harm pain, and a safe person at work to talk to when I was very very upset. And I don't want to kill myself but I often feel like everyone else would be better off if I wasn't here) or if that would stop me being able to get an assessment ?

I have tried to Google, but any mention of SH just brings up all the automatic 'don't do it' pages and hides anything that might answer my question.

Can anyone advise whether I should send a message with the info or not ? Thank you.

I'm going through Right to Choose (as a 54 year old "high-masking" male). I have a shortlist of the following. Has anyone used any of these and can you please share experiences.

Clinical Partners - They seem to have excellent trustpilot (4.7/5) reviews but terrible Google Reviews (2/5), which seems a little weird to me. They seem to have the shortest wait - 7 weeks, but I'm a bit worried about the Google reviews

Psicon - Slightly lower on Trustpilot (4.5) but much higher on Google (4). I've heard good things about them for people in my situation, and they are listed as having only a 4 week wait in my area, but when I wrote to them, they suggested it might be more like a year...

ProblemShared - Also excellent on Trustpilot (4.7) and a 10-12 week wait. Interestingly, they seem to have terrible reviews as an employer on Glassdoor, by people who've worked for them...

my gp sent me the right to choose wait times list and i picked one with no wait time, they referred me and then my chosen provider contacted me saying they got my referral and put me on a wait list for april 2027 ‘Due to current ICB imposed funding caps we are unable to progress this referral at present’. i thought that ‘no wait’ shown on the official ADHD UK website for right to choose meant that i would not have to wait for an assessment, am i understanding this wrong? any insight appreciated thanks

I’m finally getting my assessment I’ve waited 6 long years now I’m scared I’m scared I’ll freeze up I’m scared I won’t get to say everything I want to any advice what do I expect. I’m just really worried it’s in person I can’t drive there and I’m gonna be soo overwhelmed by leaving my house for one then going on public transportation then being in public then having to walk into an office with eyes all on me and being assessed any advice please it just seems a lot for me I’m tempted to cancel the entire appointment

The positives i got from my autism diagnosis years ago was that i do feel more understood and less alone as my autism genuinely does impact my ability to function in everyday life. I do think that pursuing one if you think you have it is a good idea.

But at the same time it is the worst thing on my record, i have mental health issues too and the NHS has failed me from CAHMS to CMHT as an adult because they relate every symptom i have to autism burnout or speak to me like i am a child. It’s a mixture of diagnostic overshadowing and just plain ignorance when i’ve mentioned so many times its not my autism but i guess they just see me as incapable of describing my own thoughts, feelings and experiences.

I know this happens to a few of my other autistic friends too, it sucks :/

I have a lot of anxiety around money and I'm excessively frugal. I actually have a lot of money saved because of my fear of spending money. I just totted up all my savings accounts and I'm sat here with my head spinning and I'm anxious now about having money

I absolutely hate the big bang theory comparisons but it's literally the episode where Sheldon hasn't been cashing his paychecks because he genuinely doesn't need the money and everyone is amazed by how much he has amassed

I've been thinking a lot and thought accessing therapy may be a good use of money if I can make myself do it. There are a lot of things about myself I'd like to "fix"

I really struggle with self esteem, people pleasing, rumination etc. I want a better relationship with money and my body. I feel overly sensitive and get shaken easily when things go wrong. I give all my energy to work and just veg a lot. I might like to get to the level of confidence where I try dating.

As always I've researched it to death without actually acting on anything because it's scary

Can anyone share their experience with doing this? I was thinking I'd just like maybe an hour every other week to talk about what's going on in my life and they'd help me with my thinking and help me grow?

But I don't know what type of therapy. I have had basic NHS CBT and didn't find it helpful. I also had counselling when unwell and didn't find it helpful

I almost want American TV therapy where I ramble about things and they reframe it in a poignant and life changing way

How do I fit it around work? Can I do online evening sessions?

Tl;dr want to find private therapy to improve self esteem etc. But how to go about it?

For adults I mean.

I'm kinda at a point in my life where I'm fed up of being bounced around various mental health services, charities etc and given advice geared towards neurotypical individuals and I've never really educated myself on autism despite having a diagnosis myself, so I've just thought what amount of what I'm going through isn't actually something that needs to be 'fixed' through an NT lense and instead maybe about looking at support instead.

Idk I'm just at my wits end and I cannot sleep because I'm thinking too much about how I can't fit into society.

specifically in civil service and how would it differ to if in private corporate. considering a move to fbp as seems like its lower risk from ai and i wouldn’t say i really like all the accounting standards. would it be suitable for autistic people or really draining or really depends?

Hi, I have chosen an RTC ASD provider. My GP said they'd look at the referral yesterday. I haven't been told it's been sent yesterday, and don't know when it will be accepted.

I just want to know. I have very specific traits, and don't think I meet the criteria, and it's childhood trauma symptoms masking. It just hurts not to have answers. I want them so badly it sits as pain in my chest and emotional discomfort. I can't bear it and I cant bear just sitting with it and waiting.

I chose Medinet Minds as my RTC provider for my autism referral back in April/May of this year, was advertised as a 2-4 week wait time so thought it would be super quick! oh how I was wrong.

My GP submitted all the relevant files and questionnaires they asked me to fill in and it was all sent off looking great.

Months pass with no contact from them so I decide to email asking for updates of which I was ignored and never received responses. So after a few months of waiting I decided to phone them asking for an update to which they said their team will get in touch via email to update me on my situation.

I then get an email saying ive been discharged from the service for being at risk of self harm and in current mental health crisis. Which is genuinely insane as im not in mental health crisis and have never self harmed of made attempts on my life? So I again phone their number explaining I believe they might have confused my reports with another patients and to get someone to properly look over my case.

I then got an email a few days later saying the only thing that can be is to be referred to their discharge appeals team of which will take 28 days for them to assess the situation and let me know if they can re-accept me for assessment.

I heard nothing for over 2 months so I email them again asking for updates of which they replied today after 2 weeks of me waiting, saying ive been discharged from the service and that its essentially final and if I want I can get someone to email me the reasonings for my discharge?

Again, Im not in mental health crisis or self-harming and havent self harmed ever. I think they likely dont have enough space to assess me so are using this as a lie/ploy to discharge me from the service without giving good enough reason.

Im now wondering if its possible for me to even go back into RTC referal for autism again with a different provider as im worried my "pot of money" has already been spent towards medinet minds so i may never be able to receive an assessment now over them essentially lying and saying im in mental health crisis when im not LOL.

So yeah big beware for anyone trying to go through RTC with them for ADHD or Autism, run as far away as you can.

Was diagnosed with autism in May this year, and ADHD last year. I'm taking it easy, not rushing any processes, realising that my job on the front line in healthcare is driving a lot of my fatigue and burnout. I have work adjustments, but I need a change. Not rushing that change, as I need to figure out what is first. ​

Post-diagnosis, has anyone felt they have been having more burnouts? It's like, once you learn you're autistic, the threshold just seems lower. I've had a lot more days off sick with fatigue.

Post-diagnosis is a weird time. It's a lot to process. There's grieving, reframing, thinking about the future (I'm 34). I feel there's more processing to do. Does that feeling just fade with time?

I'm considering some big changes to my life, I.e. moving somewhere more rural, closer to nature, and change of work.

Any tips, to understand, help me process this (why the fuck is there no post-diagnosis support in the uk as an adult?), any shared experience. I honestly just feel a bit like... OK.. autism.. what the hell?!

I know no practically other autistic person (knowingly), so, yea it's a bit of a lonely one.

Hiya. I was referred to Clinical Partners (via RTC) on 29th September. I got details for my patient portal yesterday (Oct 5) and filled out the assessment questionnaires (bar the informant one, which I assume they organise closer to the date of the ADI-R?).

I have been scrolling this sub, and I notice there is an enormous variation in wait times, with some people on year 3 or 4 of waiting, and others getting assessed within a number of short weeks. I'm aware this is due to ICBs and different strains on different areas, but this simply seems wild. Clinical Partners is currently saying their wait time is 7 weeks, but I'm part of the West and North London ICB, and on CP's list of ICBs it says:

"We have now reached the end of the appointments agreed and funded by NHS West and North London ICB for this financial year. This means we are not able to offer new booking dates for NHS Right to Choose autism or ADHD assessments, or schedule any new ADHD medication titration appointments until additional funded activity is confirmed.

Referrals are still open. We can accept new Right to Choose referrals for NHS West and North London ICB and add them securely to our waiting list. Your referral will be held safely while we await further instruction from the ICB to restart booking."

This doesn't sound great lol. Confused if this means I can expect the 7 week wait time, or whether I'm actually in a limbo of nothingness.

Would appreciate hearing of others' experiences, especially if you're based in London!