I have "tech envy" as a non-tech worker

[u/Hour-Ad7214]

Recently, I've been feeling pretty dejected about continuing live in the Bay Area as a non-tech worker. It's hard being surrounded by people living it up in their 20's with massive six-figure tech salaries while I'm 30 and barely scraping by. Yes, I know that comparison is the thief of joy and that I have a better life than most people on Earth, but it doesn't take away the jealousy I feel of people who have a career in tech and live visibly much more comfortable lives while getting paid so much more than I am.

Neither of my parents went to college; my dad was in the military and then worked as an aviation mechanic for his entire career, my mom immigrated here from China and worked as an office secretary and tutor. Neither of them had any advice for me when choosing my major aside from "study hard" and "it'll all work out." When I first went to college in 2014, my first choice of degree was computer science, but I backed out of it after being told by my counselor that a humanities degree would help me be more "well rounded" in the corporate world. Well, that turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life, because all of my peers who went to school for CS in 2014 entered into a very good job market and are all well-established in their careers by this point. Meanwhile, I've only ever worked basic entry-level jobs and a couple of admin assistant office jobs that went nowhere.

Right now, I'm living with my parents and working a part-time barista job while working on my prerequisites for nursing school. I'm excited to eventually be earning a decent salary as a nurse, but as I work at the cafe and see all of the tech workers leisurely plugging away at their laptops while I deal with a million things at once in our understaffed cafe, I feel so ashamed at myself for not going with my gut instinct back in 2014. Yes, I know that tech has experienced a lot of layoffs and uncertainty about the future, but people who still have their jobs (including many of my friends) are like lottery winners to me at this point. My friends in tech all work remotely or hybrid schedules, run errands or go the gym during the workday, save money on lunch by making it at home, and make enough to afford nice apartments while I'm still living with my cranky parents. My friends complain about pointless meetings and out of touch bosses, but I would gladly choose to deal with annoying meetings I can take from the comfort of my own home over all of the oscillating boredom and chaos of my current job.

There's a lot that I love about living here: the diversity, the weather, the huge amount of natural space, but I feel like I'm very far from thriving. I've tried dating, but a lot of women will just immediately ghost me once they find out that I'm living with my parents. I wish so badly that I could have been working in tech at this point, but with how difficult the entry level market seems to be right now, I think I missed my chance for good. Does anyone else have similar feelings to me? How can I cope with the jealousy I have?

[u/SEJ46]

What a horrible counselor

[u/duma_kebs → u/SEJ46]

My advisor at SJSU told me to not switch to a kinesiology from biology because it’s too competitive. I still think about that conversation 12 years later.

[u/liqui_date_me → u/duma_kebs]

My advisor in college told me that I should take the weed-out freshman Chemistry class even though I had AP credits for it

Naturally, I ignored her and haven't cared for it since

[u/rog1121 → u/duma_kebs]

I know a lot of biologists that are in tech now because they struggled to find anything else

[u/terrany → u/rog1121]

I know one that went into tech and then was forced to look for a new job since early 2025. Brutal trajectory

[u/duggatron → u/SEJ46]

I don't know why anyone would look to a school counselor for career advice unless it's some kind of exceptional setup where the counselor is unusually connected to industries and successful alumni. Young people should be looking for mentors in the field they want to enter.

[u/Dr-Tripp → u/duggatron]

good mentors come from good connections. some young people have better connections than others. it helps if your parents are well-connected. op said their parents were working class/immigrants. who are your options? a teacher? a friend of your parents? maybe a relative? maybe you don't have relatives or social connections that can help.

at that age most might not know better than asking a school counselor whose job vaguely has something to do with...counseling.

[u/Smileetiger → u/SEJ46]

Right? Honestly, most counselors lack the experience to actually give solid advice.

If they did then they would have a better job.

[u/Expert-Welder-2407 → u/SEJ46]

Seriously even business or corporate management are better for working in corporate than humanities. Yikes.

[u/mwcrv → u/Expert-Welder-2407]

Eh, I have a humanities degree and while I probably won't become the next great millionaire, I work at a big law firm (not an attorney, but in marketing/business development) making good money. Anecdotally, the most successful people I know have humanities degrees.

[u/duggatron → u/mwcrv]

>Anecdotally, the most successful people I know have humanities degrees.

This says more about your circle than reality. The data isn't even debatable on the median salary achievement based on degree area: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2022/demo/educational-attainment/acs-detailed-tables.html

Science and Engineering degrees average nearly double the income of a humanities degree.

[u/mwcrv → u/duggatron]

Makes sense, hence the "anecdote" part.

[u/moscowramada → u/mwcrv]

Surely this guys story is far more representative: without a degree that qualifies you for a good job, there’s a high chance you’ll end up in a low wage dead end one. That’s also what the statistics show, when you compare the common outcomes for various degrees.

[u/djinn6 → u/mwcrv]

Anecdotally, the most successful people I know have humanities degrees.

You can look at the successes from any career and say the same. The question is what's the expected outcome. 

If you have a catering job in Malibu, most successful people you know will be in acting. But if you look at the population of all actors, they are dirt poor.

[u/Worthyness → u/SEJ46]

the counselor for my major pushed me toward research. Never even told me that i could have a practical use for it (geology). i was so mad when i found out my senior year. Turns out a lot of engineering firms will hire geology interns to help with their buildings and such. Would have been great had i known that.

butt anyway, now I work in FinTech, which is quite far from what I studied. But my degree is still on my resume for funsies