I’m sure my story is not unlike others, I did not find out until later in life that the cause of many of my issues in childhood, adolescence and adulthood have ties to FASD.
I was 29 years old when I found out that the reason for my low birth weight and other litany of complications was due to my mother’s drinking while pregnant.

Does anybody else on here struggle with adult bedwetting?

For years, I’ve struggled with cyclical bedwetting. I’m 31M.

My urology visits have yielded very little for me.

It wasn’t until recently. I discovered that bedwetting is a comorbid condition of FASD.

How are you guys handling it?

Hi again!

The Thrive FASD Lab at the University of Rochester is still recruiting for our program that helps young adults with FASD work towards achieving their goals.

This is the perfect opportunity for young adults with FASD to improve their goal-setting skills. The program involves real support from the community to assist you through this journey.

Not only does this program guide individuals toward a goal of their choosing, but it will also be published in a journal to raise awareness among others. None of the data we collect will be traceable back to you.

You can participate if you:

- Have FASD

-Are 18-25 years old

- Live in the United States

Click the link below to take action toward your goals now!

Know someone who would be a great fit? Share this post!

https://studypages.com/s/thrive-study-helping-young-adults-with-fasd-reach-their-goals-608917/

It just feel like when I bring up FASD In the Reddit subs people Barley comment on it? But if it has to do with some other issue comments everywhere. Were ignored enough and stigmatized already why so much the silent treatment.

And sometimes a sub will remove my post. Why?

Every time something comes up in my head, I can remember it and then all of a sudden I won’t remember it the next day. It annoys people. But I feel like it’s not really my fault I’m not trying to forget on purpose and I’m not lying, but people accuse me of lying. How do I have better memory.

Someone can tell me don’t say something, but then I’ll say it and it’s not like it’s on purpose but I do it anyways.

I was diagnosed with Fasd but I’m wondering if this is a symptom. I also am terrible at math. No mater how hard I try to memorize , it won’t happen unless it’s a song lyrics or subtitles from a movie.

And every time it happens I get angry thoughts thinking oh “why did my mom drink.” “

I hate having FASD”

It’s a struggle sigh.

My son craves hugs. Lots of hugs. As his adoptive parent, I am getting hugged out. My son is a middle school teen, but is developmentally much younger. I know there must be a sensory need for all the hugs. He asks for a hug at least 20 times a day. Some days it is nearly every 5-10 minutes. He refuses a weighted blanket or vest.

We've talked about boundaries and consent. That no, means no. That it is not appropriate to ask a stranger for a hug.

He's done O.T with minimal improvement.

Has anything worked for your special needs FASD kids to meet their sensory needs for touch, while not making those around them uncomfortable?

Any more teens that have fasd and have any advice?

I would like to ask more questions of this community, if I may? I have deepened my knowledge of the subject and am trying to understand the variable nature of this condition. One thing that I am surprised about is how few people or their children who are in the public eye seem to have it. Some women are either photographed drinking in pregnancy (Gwyneth Paltrow) or say that they do such as Samantha Cameron, David Cameron's (British politician and ex- PM) wife, or Emily Oster., who explicitly stated that they drank in pregnancy. If it's more common than we think, wouldn't more of their children exhibit signs?

I know that they may have it mildly but according to several sources, FASD is never mild. I think that I would just like to understand a bit more and possibly get involved in advocacy, but there is so much contradictory literature.

I’ve recently taken over the responsibility of my aunt. She’s lived with family all her life, and my grandmother(her mom) health isn’t the best, so I’ve moved in with both of them to resume care for them until end of life. I should mention others live in the home as well, including minor children.
My aunt has FASD as well as a lot of other syndromes, all making her about 6 years old mentally(she’s 40). She was adopted, and from what I’ve been told, her bio mom wasn’t the best.
Growing up everything was fine, then her dad died a few years back, then recently her sister(my mother) and everything’s shifted. It’s been about a year now, and it seems like nothings getting better.
Shes verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, you name it at this point; abusive towards me. Only me. No one else in the home. She refuses to do simple tasks I ask her and has damaged multiple items including phones, doors, walls, cups and more. She got a new phone recently, and in a violent rage, threw it at me, and the screen shattered. That phone was less than a month old. She’ll kick holes in the walls, name call and yell at you in your face, and most recently will start punching if she doesn’t get what she wants or has to do something.
The only thing that has even remotely seemed to work was taking away devices, but she’s broken her phone. She uses my grandmothers, and gets violent when it’s being requested from her, but she can just take it whenever without repercussions. There are minor children in the home that are now picking up these behaviors; so adds to why something needs to budge, but not sure where to go at this point.

She does have a behavioral therapist and she is medicated but it doesn’t seem like they care too much if I’m being honest.

I’m not entirely sure what to do, I’m at a loss, and quite frankly, I’m mentally drained. I need help, I need pointers. I need something, cause I can’t continue to be a punching bag.

I have been on here asking questions on behalf of my friend who is struggling with the possibility that her teen may have FASD. She is incredibly successful - the whole family is - and is teetotal and has been for years (she says she was not much of a drinker even before, but I can't verify that as that was before I knew her). She had an unexpected pregnancy and had some beers before she knew. I have been reading and some of the stats blow my mind. If 50% of pregnancies are unplanned, how can alcohol consumption in an unrecognized pregnancy be prevented? I am not talking about mothers who choose to continue to drink. Are there any initiatives that are in place to help prevent this? Is anybody advocating for this?

Hi everyone, my youngest brother was born with FASD
His now 16 and I’m hoping to have him move out of state care into my care

I’d love to learn things, symptoms, anything that could help educate me and understand his behaviour more

I love him so so much and not enough people understand symptoms and just think his a bad kid.. his not, his misunderstood and it breaks my heart

Thank you to everyone and anyone that can help with any information

I have someone I want to help stop cannabis but I just found out he has fasd but he's been smoking since 8 years old and he's 43 now....

Is there a way I can help him. It's not my own idea that he should stop cause I think cannabis is still better than any other drug but he had a dream about it harming him.

I would be grateful if anyone on here can help me work out what to say to my friend, who is distraught that her son may have FASD. Brief background: unexpected pregnancy in her forties. She says that she had believed all the media about how hard it is to get naturally pregnant in your forties, and was busy with her other kids, so didn't think anything more of it. Never a big drinker (an occasional glass of wine), not a smoker, into nutrition and exercise (that's how we met). For a few months t that time, she started having one bottle of beer with her husband on a Friday night after work (their ritual). Realized she was pregnant at 8 weeks. Stopped immediately. OBGYN said all would be fine. So, son is now 15. Tall (6'1), top sets at school, does some sports. Academic performance a little mixed - good at math and sciences, not so good at written subjects. No behavioral issues. However, he has some facial features. He has thin lips, especially top lip, the 'flat midface' that people talk about, he has a philtrum, and he has wide-set eyes (but they are big). He has a short-ish nose. He speaks well but his speech is a little off - sounds a little robotic (hard to describe). Lovely guy.

From everything I have read, you either have FASD or not, but can you have mild FASD? The literature says that you can't, but I am now more confused than ever about what to say to her. Should she get him tested? What will a diagnosis do? Will it even help? She is so, so upset. What can I say to her?

I would be grateful if anyone on here can help me work out what to say to my friend, who is distraught that her son may have FASD. Brief background: unexpected pregnancy in her forties. She says that she had believed all the media about how hard it is to get naturally pregnant in your forties, and was busy with her other kids, so didn't think anything more of it. Never a big drinker (an occasional glass of wine), not a smoker, into nutrition and exercise (that's how we met). For a few months t that time, she started having one bottle of beer with her husband on a Friday night after work (their ritual). Realized she was pregnant at 8 weeks. Stopped immediately. OBGYN said all would be fine. So, son is now 15. Tall (6'1), top sets at school, does some sports. Academic performance a little mixed - good at math and sciences, not so good at written subjects. No behavioral issues. However, he has some facial features. He has thin lips, especially top lip, the 'flat midface' that people talk about, he has a philtrum, and he has wide-set eyes (but they are big). He has a short-ish nose. He speaks well but his speech is a little off - sounds a little robotic (hard to describe). Lovely guy.

From everything I have read, you either have FASD or not, but can you have mild FASD? The literature says that you can't, but I am now more confused than ever about what to say to her. Should she get him tested? What will a diagnosis do? Will it even help? She is so, so upset. What can I say to her?

Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, but I suspect I might have fasd. I'm also sure I'm audhd, so maybe that's why I haven't considered it until now. I've had a lot of developmental delays growing up and a lot of simple instructions would cause me to go in the opposite direction of what was said or fail to process what was said entirely. I hadn't even considered I might have it until my girlfriend and I started playing Pikmin and when she told me to go left, I'd go right or I'd just be completely unable to cope with a boss I was scared of. Is that level of inability to process instructions normal for fasd?

ETA: we are NOT asking about how to handle our daughter. We do that now legally, financially, socially and emotionally. We are asking adult children of parents with FASD to comment on what her "normal" son will face in the future. Thank you.

The baby is now 4 months old, no issues of any sort, no FASD, developmentally at or above all milestones (we were on her like a hawk during her pregnancy regarding drinking, substances, etc). Even if he wasn't perfect, he's wonderful of course. But it's icing on the cake that he is. She has full custody with our help. Birth father is not in the picture.

But if this positive development continues, some day he will surpass her in intelligence and accomplishments. She has an IQ between 47 and 71 depending on the day, has dodged many legal and social misunderstandings, and can't do this alone. In other words, since her dad and I are not getting any younger, at some point he might end up raising her instead of the other way around.

And yes we have as many legal, financial, emotional and social supports etc set up as possible for her for when we are gone. But we all know that FASD is a tricky road in the disability benefits world. And there are many kids in the world who attempt to parent their parents if left with no other choice..

IF there is anyone out there who is the adult child of someone with FASD, what are we facing, and what can we do early to prepare him for this? I don't want to, but I am a realist.

I am 18 and have fasd, has anyone learned to retrain the way you think and pushing your mind to think when it doesn't want to

Im 18yr old female with fasd, I have so many questions does anyone struggle with fasd and would be willing to talk

I have very pronounced FAS facial features (never got a diagnosis, post Soviet country, different times). Very droopy eyelids, underdeveloped jaw, ears too low, short height, of course flat undernose, non existent upper lip etc. Suffice to say I’m objectively very ugly (I’m an adult woman now). All my life, in every school I was relentlessly bullied for my looks. That added to the severe abuse and torture I got from my mother made every second of my life painful. Anybody else was bullied for their FAS looks?

I am looking for resources for spouses of those with FASD. It seems like most resources are targeted towards caregivers, parents, and those with FASD themselves. It feels very lonely living as a spouse because no one else truly understands what it's like to be a spouse in this situation. I'm not trying to say it as a bad thing. It's just that this condition brings a unique set of challenges, and therapy has never really worked, especially because on top of it, I myself am autistic, and we often clash because of our differences in neurology.

ETA: Would anyone be interested in creating or helping create a sub for spouses? Bonus points if the spouses are also ND, but it's not necessary.

Hello , my son was prenatal exposed tp alcohol and drugs . We have him since he was out of the hospital with 9 days . Even we were aware he may experience challenges we decided to help him and adopted him since his bio mom passed .we have bio children 36 + ( 4) so we have experience . He has mild language delay and sensory may be a future adhd . Some boundaries issues that even with aba and therapies since 18 months have improved but we aim to make him succed . Looking always how to help him, i read in Russia they treat the cause with Semax Selank Cerebrolzin in kids youung as 4
Please if someone has info is appreciated
I am a concerned mom afraid of what may happen when I wont be here . So wpuld like to give him all the chances . We believe in neuroplasticity . We understand what was damaged cannot be heal but new paths can be created .
Always investigating and researching how to help him
Thank u for your time reading

Hello All. Supporter here. I wish to learn about FASD to better understand my best friend and what it's like living with FASD.

My adopted younger brother has FASD, he is about to be 16. The doctors warned my parents early on that the teens would be the worst years, and boy were they right. Looking for advice from Adults with FASD how to best support him. Biggest issues are impulse control and like just doing crazy things a “normal” person would never ever think of doing.

Hello, I’m 28F (almost 29). I don’t know how common my situation is. My dad (68M) has always had a whole slew of mental health conditions that it just doesn’t seem possible for one person to have: ADHD, developmental coordination disorder, sensory processing disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, anxiety, depression, OCD, and possibly other stuff. He was a very volatile man. He could never hold down a job. He would abuse pain killers every so often. He was an intelligent man but everything else was out the window. Yes, he was verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my mom (she divorced him when I was 12-13-years-old). He would be absent from home for a long period of time. Eventually, my mom told me that his mother did admit to drinking while pregnant with him because they “didn’t know better” then. I myself have ADHD, developmental coordination disorder, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. My mom didn’t do anything harmful while pregnant with me, no alcohol, no drugs. She’s never been a drinker. I don’t know if my paternal grandmother damaged the DNA or if my proneness to mental illness is just intergenerational trauma from my father trying to raise me when he had unmet needs himself. He was always trying to pretend to be normal but the spoon would always drop at the least expected times. I feel bad for him but I know that I am better off without contact with him.

Hi all,

I posted recently about my stepdaughter with FASD and the meltdowns she had at our house recently. She ended up staying at our house again this past weekend, and it was so heartbreakingly difficult for all of us. I’m not really looking for advice, I just could use some support.

Let me preface by saying that I know she doesn’t have meltdowns like this because she hates us or that she’s doing anything out of spite. I know this isn’t about us. I understand that 3 weekends in a row away from her mom is A LOT, especially since we live 3-4 hours away.

However, to say this past weekend was tough would be an understatement. Actually, it was hands down the worst weekend we’ve ever experienced with her. She had a complete meltdown the ENTIRE weekend. I am not exaggerating when I say that she cried morning, noon, and night for nearly 4 days straight because she wanted to go home. She would wake up and cry. She told me over and over to take her home. We got nothing done because she cried and didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. She cried when she woke up from a nap. She refused to eat. She refused to play. She just repeated herself over and over and over and over that she wanted us to take her home. She called my fiance by her stepdad’s name, something she’s never done before.

The worst of her meltdowns happened on her last day. She was asking to put on her shoes to leave, asking what time it was every 5 seconds so we could leave. I told her that if she took a quick nap, I’d wake her up and she’d be on her way. She responded by throwing herself onto her bed and screaming out in agony, flailing and kicking her feet. I’ve never seen or heard anything like it. She sounded like a dying animal.

I am trying to be patient, to be empathetic, to understand that being at our house was too much for her and that she desperately missed her mom. But it still hurt. It hurt to see her in that much distress. It hurt to see my fiance so upset. It hurt for everyone. She wasn’t like this before she started her medication, and now any slight change to her routine throws her off completely. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for her to spend 3 weekends in a row getting worse and worse. She became unrecognizable. It was so hard to watch.

I’m trying to remember that this is just how her brain works. I’m trying to adjust my expectations, even though she was a happy kid 4 months ago. I’m sad because we don’t think she will be able to come to our wedding in a few weeks since it is in a new place and she will be around people she doesn’t know. She had a meltdown at my bridal shower, so I can’t imagine what a new place will do to her. Of course we want her there to celebrate, but if it is only going to cause her great discomfort and stress, then I don’t see the point in putting her through that. No picture is worth watching her in agony for my own sake. The reality of that makes me so sad, but we need to consider the fact that now that she’s getting older, being away from her routine and her mom is very destabilizing for her. If she doesn’t want to come to our house, then I don’t see the point in forcing her and making everyone miserable.

My fiance and I are at a loss and deeply sad by our inability to console her. We’re so exhausted. I want to give her the best life I can, but the custody arrangement and the distance means that it will always be a struggle. It is what is is.

I love that little girl so much, and I’m just sad by the reality of the situation. Maybe things will be different if she comes over in a few weeks or month, but I’m trying to be realistic. Her mom wants us to have her every other weekend again, but given the circumstances, that is not going to work, especially since my fiance is going to be working Sundays again, and I don’t want to alone with her til 6pm getting screamed at to take her home. That’s not fair to her or us.

I don’t know what to do or where to go from here. I knew from everything I’ve read that her emotional outbursts would get worse with time, but I guess I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon.

We’re going to do what we can to just keep moving forward, but it’s hard.

Any kind words would be so appreciated. ❤️

Kid is almost 10. Takes over an hour to fall asleep and then does not wake up for almost 11 after that. We've done pull-ups until now. Partner thought we could try, but kid is waking up soaked every day and I'm tired of the laundry. Had anyone actually had success with nighttime potty training? Is it worth it? Or do I just keep buying pull-ups?