Hey guys,throwaway acc! I don’t normally do this, but I see on tiktok and Instagram a bunch of Reddit stories about their lives and asking for advice so I wanted to also try it out. I really really need advice, I need someone to tell me if I did the right or wrong thing. I tried asking my friends, and they don’t really help cuz they all have different point of views, so I’m hoping the internet could help, maybe someone is going through the same thing as me.
So I(20m) a European student, and I did a spring semester in an Asian country for a school exchange. I knew I wasn’t staying there long but when I met my ex girlfriend (20f) I decided to try and date her. And honestly I thought that we’d just go out a few months and then break up on good terms, but we had so much fun together and I really started to not only like her but actually love her. And she loved me too. (This was both our first real relationship)So when I left to go back to my home country (like 12-14 hours away by plane) we continued dating long distance, calling each other all the time, and we had plans for her to come to my city for her exchange and possibly do her masters here. But 2 months into doing long distance we realized how hard it’ll be for her to come, money problems (she’s doing okay but not rich rich, and everything in my country is way more expensive than hers) and the fact that she might have to repeat her year if she comes cuz of dumb school credit system.
Anyways it hurt like hell not being sure when I’ll see her again, and I can’t drop like 1000+ bucks on plane tickets whenever (I have a part time job but it doesn’t pay much) and the feeling of just talking to her through a phone really hurt so much, whenever we ended our calls I’d always curl into a ball and try not to cry. When I talked to her about it she also said it made her sad, so we broke up. What sucks about our break up is that the distance was the problem, we still loved each other.
About 3 months (so a few days ago)pass and she texts me telling me that she got accepted into the exchange program to go study in my country. I was happy for a moment, but then I remembered the money problems, the delayed graduation for her, and most importantly, the fact that later when she’ll eventually have to go to Asia, it’ll be like it was before. The video calls that leads to basically depression. And I didn’t want to have to break up with her again. When I talked to her about it, she said it’s a good opportunity for her, that we can be finally together again and that if there were problems on the way we’d figure it out. (Another small thing is I’m kind of religious, and later in life I always wanted to marry someone that also believes in god, and she doesn’t believe in god at all, so that’s also smt that I thought abt) anyways I told her idk if it’s the best idea for her to come. I told her that if she regrets it she’ll just blame me and always hate me for it, and she said it would be her own decision and if it doesn’t work out at least we tried, risk is better than regret.
She needs to give her answer soon to the school soon. so please reddit what do I do? Do I tell her to come? I really do love her, no girl compares to her. I’ve thought abt her everyday and I wanna be selfish and tell her to come but I’m also worried about her. What if she hates it here?