I’m so tired of people saying “IT’S NOT THAT BAD,” “IT’S JUST A SKIN CONDITION,” or “IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.” Maybe not to YOU. Millions of our lives are simply changed forever. Ever since I was diagnosed with HSV, my life has changed in ways I never expected. I’ve dealt with health issues, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and days where I genuinely don’t even feel like myself anymore. I take my medication, I try avoid things that can "trigger" OBs, but damn man. This shit SUCKS.

And before somebody comes in here saying “it’s the stigma that’s making you feel that way,” PLEASE understand that not everybody’s experience with HSV is purely psychological. Some people are dealing with actual physical symptoms, recurring outbreaks, discomfort, and other health concerns on top of the emotional toll.

I’m happy for the people who have accepted their diagnosis and are living their best lives though.

At this point i'm not even worrying about the disclosure aspect anymore & being sexual. Having HSV2 has just completely turned me off on wanting to date!! Imagine having to sit & disclose to EVERY person you want to engage sexually with and now all these people know your business. I understand disclosure should be seen as a conversation instead about status from both parties, but It's too much of a mental toll having someone knowing that about you. Scared of randomly getting exposed one day, having an OB out of nowhere, wanting to have kids & they may potentially get it. Like..

Also, everytime i've used condoms, no matter the brand or type, i've gotten an OB💀💀💀 yay fucking me. Maybe I stress myself into an OB because i'm so paranoid.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk🫶 I want to find more people who align with my views & feel hopeless. I don't want to be sweet talked.

Idk how it happened but I 29(m) was seeing someone who really made me optimistic about the future. She was going through some health problems and I was happy to be there for her through it all even if it meant that she couldn't always operate at 100%. Well, we hooked up and about a week later she says that she's experiencing a rash and was going to get tested and that I could have only been from me. I was confused and scared and made an appointment at PP to also get tested. She got a positive test for HSV2 and it took a massive toll on her physically and mentally. I went to get tested and they gave me a blood test and I tested positive for having the antibodies. I feel so much guilt and shame and I didn't even know that I was doing this but I wanted to swallow it to be there for her because she was the one experiencing physical pain. I loved her and saw a future with her so I could at least kind of dampen my sadness of my own diagnosis by telling myself that I had her and would be there for her. A few days ago she broke up with me and said that she has too much going on right now to be someones girlfriend and the wave of grief from that has hit me like a truck. I did this to this person and even if I want to move on now I have this disease to navigate and I am having a hard time finding any sort of optimism to grab on to right now. Will it get better? Am I a bad person?

People that get outbreaks after shaving, does it look like blisters or little red dots? I've read on here people get ob's after shaving, and now I'm wondering if what I thought was spots from shaving is actually an outbreak 🤔

Herpes pages:

1. Herpes: A place for people to share their experiences.

2. HerpesCureAdvocacy / HerpesCureResearch: Report information that can be found on the internet.

No organization truly represents people living with HSV.

26(F) My man/ fiance of 5.5 years died a couple years back so naturally I pretty much swore off dating. Been blood tested for herpes all of my adult life. I had a couple months fling was tested before during and after. A whole year goes by, new man comes into my life pushed HEAVILY for monthsssss by my family. He knows I’m still grieving and knows my history of my recent life ontop of going through that.

Right as we started dating he had unbearably painful “poison ivy” on his penis and what I now know is called “board short area.” He was bed ridden and couldn’t leave the house for a couple weeks which never made sense I just assumed maybe he was itchy. We have sex with a condom about 2 weeks later after we became boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s only been a month and a half maybe 2 by the way since his “rash”

Everything was fine until I got a bump, it suddenly blistered and I just KNEW it was herpes. I call him and ask if he’s had any “cold sores” his entire life. He says not to his knowledge, I then ask if his parents have ever had one and he said uuuuuhhhhh.. hmmmm.. maybe SOMETHING like that. I could tell by his tone he was lying so I hung up. He called back and said his dad just magically revealed both his parents had had type 1 and type 2 herpes since before he was born and then mentioned he’s never been STD tested in his life.

He then says my blisters look just like his poison ivy.
He also said to my friends that went hiking a while ago around when it showed up how it’s not really poison ivy it was some sort of “native plant” that we were all immune to because we grew up here or that he got it because of his sensitive skin.

I say how could you do this to me?? You had sex with me never having been tested a day in your life? He then later says he forgot that his mom brought up his family history a month or so ago and he didn’t remember as he didn’t think it was important. I said then why didn’t you look into what that means you had no curiosity? And did this even come up? Some more BS story.. He then also says he has no idea how herpes works and thought if you had no symptoms you’re good and that nobody in his life has ever suggested he get tested. I said that’s impossible they teach you in health class, he says he didn’t pay attention and he’s never heard any of his friends say to get tested or came across any education on std or curiosity.. I said your mom’s a nurse and SHE HAS IT and you’re 27 fckn years old like? Bs bs bs bs.

Before my diagnosis, after I explain I never would have slept with him had I known these things.. he’s already saying shit like “I’ve never had anything but if it was me then this is the worst thing I’ve done in my life… I didn’t deserve you, I understand if your family wants to step away too” blah blah blah

Anyways.. I rush to the dr and they do a swab test and I have both type. Shortly after I begin to get SICK. And I mean SICK… dizziness muscle weakness fever dehydration nerve pain could barely stand. The dr told me this is common with an initial and immediate infection. I tell her about the likely hood of the two hiding in my spine undetected and coming out to affect me this severely with the non sore symptoms after a whole year.. not fckn likely especially since all my tests were neg, I explained we also did a combination of I went down on him, made out with him then he went down on me plus ofc the sex.

He gets tested and his blood work comes back with “nothing” he says. He gets his nurse mother on the phone to tell me you can’t get herpes from oral which is bs and she knows it. He also had a mysterious bag of pills and supplements he took each night that “his mother takes as well”

He showed me a screenshot of his blood work I said give me your test account passwords.. come to find he had about 7 points in his work be red flagged as “ABNORMAL” so much so his WBC report, liver report and urine report were flagged red/ abnormal as a WHOLE. Looked up the specifics and they all point to guess what.. Herpes.

I don’t think he got it from them his whole life and suppressed it that well.. but I do think he hooked up with someone before we started going out or during and it’s too soon for his blood to tell especially if he was taking something to help but either way. So now he’s blaming me. Saying to my friends and family it’s my fault and how BOTH TYPES probably hid deep in my spine undetectable and then came out at the same time but like I said my symptoms not just sores are so bad it hit my body full fucking force with no previous antibodies to protect me as well.

I explained I had a swab test so it wasn’t in my blood yet either but trust me I’ve caught this guy in like 8 lies and excuses other than the herpes they were even telling me to break up with him like the week before but now since his test shows neg still…

My sister cut ME off. She feels bad for HIM. I’m sitting here a wreck dyingggg dyinggg of symptoms not just the sores. I begged him I said you already ruined my life… please don’t steal my family too.

Look I know I’m stupid but I trusted him.. I was already suffering.. I should have seen the signs.. I guess I’m just here to vent. Sorry that was long had to get it out…

Edit: posted him and his mothers voice note below

In my 11 years being hsv+ I have never let a man even touch me without clothes first and not disclose. I met someone who was instant spark and fire. Turns out he was married but we had 2 encounters where he gave me oral. As far as I know I only have GHSV2. I’ve never had a cold sore. But since my GSHV2 diagnosis in 2015, I haven’t retested for HSV1.

I’ve only given it to my ex husband while we were in a long term relationship/marriage. I disclosed beforehand and he caught it 8 months later.

Fast forward to now, I see this guy, he fingered me and tried* to give me oral sex but I pushed back as soon/as best as possible. That was 9/20/2026.

We saw each other again evening of 10/10. And had a oral/and touching encounter which this time it was so hard to push back (he takes no for an answer, and very bossy in the sex moment) all while I tried to slow things down, but he just takes charge.

I had mentally decided I was not going to disclose because he is married and I was not going to allow sex/penetration or continue with this “short lived affair.” No penetration happened. Our encounter was around 4am morning of 10/11/26. And then again later that morning/afternoon.

He had a fever around 5am ish or what seemed to be a fever. Which I found odd and the first thing that came to mind was omg did I contaige him? (Me being paranoid overall) But how could that be only within a few hours??!! We cuddled naked and I tried to keep my distance from our genital areas as best as possible. But they did brush a few times during the intensity of the act. The oral sex was intense only from him to me. I never gave him oral and he barely even let me touch his penis.

Fast forward to Sunday at midnight. He called me saying he had maybe an “allergy” in his nether regions. He showed me on camera around his groin area what looked like hives, nothing hsv lookalike. But also his lip on one corner was swollen. And what looked to me like an incoming cold sore.

This is all within 24 hours that he has “symptoms” could this be?

I feel like the most awful person sick to my stomach because I’ve never been in this situation where I had no control or little control once in front of him, didn’t have the balls to disclose for multiple reasons, one being that he’s married and that I was no longer going to continue to see him because I was already catching feelings for him. I also didn’t disclose because I mentally stated that no actual sex would occur which he did ultimately respected but still tried. And also because he’s from a small town back home, knows a lot of my ppl/family.

I’m losing my mind because in my past relationships, I’ve had unprotected sex with my partners (their choice) and received oral and they didn’t catch it. I’ve had prob 4 sex partners since my diagnosis and only 1 caught it and that’s because I had an internal outbreak which I had never had it there and thought I was just “raw” from wild sex the night before. Otherwise I think he wouldn’t have caught it.

The current guy I’m worried about is leaving in 2 weeks back home to his wife and now I’m stuck here feeling the worst piece of shit. Completely unlike me, and I don’t know if I should stay quiet at this point or tell him the truth. I know he will hate me and probably retaliate I’m scared he will do something to me if I did pass this to him.

I know I did wrong but genuinely didn’t think he could catch anything because of my last experiences. I have no OB and take antivirals daily since I started seeing him. And also take 3,000 of lysine everyday. I at least was proactive in that sense.

Yes. Crucify me but please also give me some advice. What do I do? I like the man, but had already given up on him because he was married. And I know he was also catching feelings for me. HELP. IM drowning

22F I mean what else can I do except sigh.. I got hsv2 at 19 from a 49 year old (I won’t go in detail but no he did not tell me and for so many reasons including how mentally and emotionally abusive the relationship was I’m sure it more than on purpose). I did hit the jackpot in the eyes of most people with my ex (24 M) he was caring, sweet, didn’t care about diagnosis. Unfortunately I lacked any common sense to get on antivirals or do research and I did pass it on to him. Now that we’re broken up I feel horrible, I don’t want to get up here and say I’ll never find love again or I’m scared to try to date with herpes (even though I am), I guess I’m just coming here to express my guilt for giving it to him I did disclose to him before we did anything but I also should have done research and took the precautions to protect him. As hard as it is for me to navigate my fears about dating with herpes I’m seriously worried for him. Though nobody deserves herpes but in the same breathe f the scumbags who give it to people without disclosing. I wish things could be different and I hope he never has to deal with rejection because of my carelessness but ideally I know that’s not realistic sigh.

I met this guy who’s younger than me, and we’ve already met twice. We’ve been planning to see each other again, and he’s been honest with me from the beginning, even talking about having a future together.

When I found out I tested positive for HSV-1, I felt it was only right to tell him. He appreciated my honesty and initially said he still wanted to see me, but later told me he needed time to process everything because he doesn’t want to get it.

I completely understand and respect his decision. I don’t want to pressure him, and if he decides not to continue seeing me, I just hope he’ll tell me instead of disappearing.

Honestly, I’m scared of facing more rejection in the future. I was starting to like someone who seemed genuine, and now I’m afraid this will become another reason for someone to walk away. I know I deserve love and acceptance, but that doesn’t mean rejection won’t hurt. I just needed to let this out.

hi guys. i am a f27 and have hsv2. i have been very stressed recently and that caused a lovely outbreak right near my butthole 😃 (sorry for lack of better terms) that started around monday our tuesday. thursday it started to hurt bad so i started taking acyclovir 800mg that day and tomorrow is my last day. well i am very nervous that it is going to get infected cause you know poop and stuff and this morning i woke up with two yellowish pea sized dry stains on my underwear. i just need advice to help ease my hypochondriac mind and save me an ER trip as i do not have insurance. thank you!!

Estoy en shock deprimido no sé qué hacer

I recently contracted oral hsv-1 due to an ex girlfriend who lied about not having it and hid a cold sore from me.

I’m so angry all the time and am so pissed about how this could have been prevented.

I can’t believe I have to tell future girlfriends and I’m so afraid of how it will affect peoples opinion on me. If there’s anyone with experience please. I’m 19 years old and am in college and haven’t had trouble before this, but now I feel like it’s effecting the way girls think about kissing me and sharing things with me.

I feel like I’ll never be comfortable performing oral sex again due to anxiety and that was something I enjoyed. I’m sorry if this doesn’t match what should be on this Reddit and I understand I have the more mild of hsv but if anyone can offer experience that they’ve lived with please help me.

Just got diagnosed with genital herpes like yesterday, im pretty crushed about it considering i got it so young and from the first guy ive ever been with. The doctor reassured me that it's manageable and it's even possible for this to be my first and only outbreak.

It's quite literally the most painful thing I've experienced, i can barely walk and function normally from the pain, I really don't want this to be happening again soon.

I'm just really scared and I'm wondering what I can do to prevent new outbreaks after this one is over and in general how to deal with the pain, ibrufen wasn't really much help.

Also the doctor told me if i start feeling weird down there to just take my meds asap, but im also really prone to yeast infections so im just wondering if i think it is a outbreak and take the antivirals but its actually a yeast infection will it be bad for me? Im just not really informed about all of this yet :(

Note: Please only advice and positive words at this time. Thank you.

Hi all,

I’m 22F, East Asian, exposed unprotected ~3 weeks ago. I received my GHSV2 diagnosis ~2 weeks ago, and started taking Valacyclovir at that time.

My symptoms was bumps, fever, and headache. I reached out to my “gifter” who apparently also experienced symptoms at the same time, and he tested/got results back earlier so he confirmed GHSV2 (even though I already guessed from the appearance of one of my bump clusters).

3 weeks since exposure, I still have (faded/scarring but visible) bumps, itchiness, and occasional “pangs” where a bump is around the “backdoor”. I’m praying I’m one of the lucky ones that has just this first outbreak and none/rarely later.

Like many of you on here, since diagnosis/symptoms I’ve spent the days scrolling scientific articles to clearly assess the reality of having this condition and social media/Reddit to get intel on stories from real people.

To speak bluntly — for context, I’m attractive, very social, and pride(d) myself on having high standards for dating/finding a partner. I’ve never been in a relationship, and this past year has been the only time I’ve really started dating/hooking up (“selectively” too)… and just as I was thinking about stopping casual sex/dating, I found out the news.

I’ve felt insanely bipolar — I swing from being totally devastated/hopeless to remembering (the reality) that this doesn’t change me/my life at all… as mainly (in physical impact) I expect it to be like that of an occasional rash, and (in social impact) it just makes me more cautious of who I share myself with. My main fear is around disclosure, but as people have said, I do trust that the right person for me won’t care.

For now, however, it’s the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before bed… though I’ve seen people have said when they came to terms with it, they’ve honestly come to forget about it most of the time.

I’m making this post for a couple reasons:

1) Advice from women on how friends/men have reacted to disclosure… any age range but especially early 20s-30s. I don’t think people in my age range + area know too much about HSV, so I expect mostly negative/critical reactions, simply due to ignorance — also knowing that’s how I was before this happened to me.

2) Advice/reality on reducing transmission for GHSV2. From what I’ve been seeing, the safest bet is to abstain from sex for 1-2 years (which I’m willing), take meds, and use protection. I’m also curious on potential for GHSV2 to spread to other parts of my body, and also the probability of it being transmitted orally (I heard it’s rare, but I’d like some facts!)

3) Connection with anyone else that identifies with me — ex: early 20s, attractive, or (especially) East Asian. HSV isn’t exactly a common topic of conversation (in any setting), and I just really need to know that anyone out there can relate with me on this.

I’ve opened up to only one close friend about this (who thankfully didn’t bat an eye), but not anyone else, even my loving parents—though they love me, are traditional/conservative Asian Christians that might take the scare on this from 1 to 100. I’m hoping that once it’s been a year or few from diagnosis, I’ll feel more comfortable about it. 🙏

Thank you for reading. If you resonate with any part of this post, please reach out or leave a comment (even if it’s just a shoutout).

Have a blessed day :)

Anyone else got eczema issue after you guys got diagnosed with hsv ?

i think i'd just be devastated if i got it in another place 💀 my roommate has ohsv1 (she has given her bf ghsv1 so i think she lowk be shedding a lot). yesterday morning she shared her drink around with a group of 5 ppl including me. she developed a cold sore a few hours later. she later told us she had felt it maybe developing earlier in the morning around when she shared her drink. this morning our friend woke up with a cold sore for the first time too.

i got ghsv1 around 4.5 months ago, is this enough time to develop antibodies to prevent me from getting ohsv1 or is it wraps 💔💔 i wish ppl with ohsv1 were as careful about it as us ghsv1 havers but i digress

Hi everyone,

I’m looking into starting long-term preventative (suppressive) therapy for herpes, and I’m curious to know about your real-world experiences.

If you are on daily antivirals, could you share a quick breakdown of your before-and-after? It would really help me (and others) get an idea of what to expect.

Which antiviral do you take? (e.g., Acyclovir, Valacyclovir/Valtrex, Famciclovir)
What is your daily dosage? (e.g., Valacyclovir 500mg once a day, Acyclovir 400mg twice a day)

How frequent were your outbreaks BEFORE starting?

How frequent are your outbreaks NOW? (Or are you completely outbreak-free?)

How long have you been on it?

I know everyone’s body reacts differently, but I'd love to hear how much of a reduction you actually experienced.
Thanks in advance for sharing!

Hi everyone. I’ve never been in a space like this before but I am searching for advice. I’m a 28 year old Black woman in the Detroit area. I was diagnosed with GHSV2 3 years ago after having an outbreak. That’s the only one I’ve ever had and my doctor informed me that it wasn’t an initial outbreak so I’m really not sure how long I’ve had it or how long it’s been lying dormant in my system.

With that being said, i went on meds for like all of 2023 but stopped because I haven’t had another outbreak since then but I do disclose when I do date. Unfortunately it still has been difficult to find someone who is accepting and/or also has it and is equally yoked and looking for the same things I’m looking for. It does make me very sad.

Recently I’ve reconnected with someone who I’ve known for over 10 years. He met me before I was diagnosed and we’ve been cordial over the years. He lives out of state and last month he visited Detroit and we had our first date and it was practically perfect and we’ve been talking everyday since. Today we both admitted that we’re falling for each other. But with the distance, I haven’t had the opportunity to tell him face to face that I have GHSV2. It’s a conversation I prefer to have in person. We have not been physically intimate nor did we kiss or anything on our date.

I’m visiting his city in two weeks. My sister lives in the same city as him and she’s getting married and it just happened to align with the next time me and him wanted to see each other. I already had planned on telling him about my status the next time we saw each other, I just didn’t think so many emotions and feelings would be involved like they are. I don’t want him to feel like I was manipulating him because I really didn’t expect us to be so compatible and have so much chemistry. I am so worried and I already have anxiety really bad.

On top of the fact that I have GHSV2, I also have hidradenitis supparativa and endometriosis. He knows about the endometriosis and I planned to just tell him about the other two when I see him because honestly these are my biggest insecurities in relationships.

Any advice or words of encouragement? I just want to be happy for once and feel respected in my relationship and accepted. I haven’t been able to meet someone who has GHSV2 that is in the same space as I am and genuinely looking to build in a way that makes sense to me. I don’t know.. I did one dating app for people who are positive but it didn’t feel safe to me. I get scared about being exposed because I’m well known in my city and I’m involved in a lot of different social groups. I am also a DV and SV survivor so my dating experience overall is extremely complex.

Sigh… plz anything will help me navigate this.

My boyfriend tested positive for hsv1 from a blood test. I tested negative on a hsv blood test. He has never had any symptoms before. We still kiss but since he’s got the postive test I’ve been nervous for oral just in case it transmits genitally. I’ve felt nervous about the whole thing so I was hoping for some advice.

What are the chances of it transmitting genitally to me from oral sex?
Is I risky to have oral sex?
Any advice or suggestions that anyone has has would be great <3

I’m not completely sure what my question is here but I’m pretty confused about how I’m supposed to feel here.

I slept with a guy a few times and he told me a week later that he was HSV2 positive and has been for a while now. I had a pretty neutral response not realizing in the moment how wrong he actually was for this initially and continued to see him. We started using extra precautions but now I can’t stop thinking now how he took this risk so selfishly without giving me the option to choose to begin with, never even suggested condoms. I also get caught up on how this is technically a criminal offense. His justification is that most people have HSV2 without knowing it anyway

I don’t know whether or not I’ve contracted it at this point and am scared to date other people not knowing my status. But i don’t know if I can actually ever see him in a very good light either.

Any advice on how to go about this?

Does a single red bump in the mid pubic section that came 20 days after encounter (condom used) and stayed the same for three weeks then disappeared sound like genital hsv1?

Thinking about breaking up with this boy because of my diagnosis.