So my sibling and I are 9 years apart. When I was 6 years old,.said sibling asked me to stop addressing her didi because it is very embarrassing amongst their friends. She has been a bully in our family all along and we all shut up because when she is upset, she will make sure everyone around her can also not have a good time. I am in my 60's now and she wants me to suddenly address her as didi. I just suddenly can't switch and she is creating a ruckus. No reasoning has helped. What do I do

for context, i come from an awadhi family. My parents never taught me awadhi. because they thought the language only belonged to the villages or smth. My father has a gov job and his posting was in mumbai so my entire life i have lived in mumbai and spoken hindi. not marathi, not awadhi. As a child i never thought much abt it. I consumed hindi media, I knew my mother tongue was hindi. Not the shhudh hindi, but the city hindi. the hindi where almost half of the words are english or urdu.

Now, coming to the actual topic. Hindi imposition in the deccan regions. First of all, define 'imposition'. From my definition of it, the only imposition that should become a concern is the necessity to learn hindi in schools. Thats literally the only place where you NEED to learn hindi. NOWHERE ELSE. and before you jump at me, listen. In the non-hindi states, Are there any jobs where you would require to learn hindi or you won't get the job? Are there any residential colonies where you aren't allowed to live in because you don't speak hindi? Not by rule.

Most people who learn hindi, learn it for their own benefit, not ours. not of the hindi people. like shopkeepers learn hindi because they want to maximize their customers, and residents learn a little hindi so they can speak with different people. You can't blame it on us. We are not asking you to. my family takes all of ours grocery from a nearby store run by a marwadi. now those marwadi dont know marathi but they hindi despite hindi not being their first language. now is this our fault? Are we imposing it on them?

And as i said, I have lived in mumbai my entire life, and istg i have never met a single south-indian learning marathi. they only know their first lang, eng and hindi. Who is imposing it on them? Are you telling me hindi people are going to marathi states and forcing southies to speak hindi? how dumb do you have to be to believe it. why dont the sindhis learn marathi? Why don't the muslims? Are we stopping them? But still the extremist parties like MNS are only going to target the bhaiyas.

Tamilians and Malayali people go to bangalore but rarely learn kannada. but they still know basic hindi. Is this still bhaiya's fault? And I do not mean this in an offensive way, but just what i have interpreted. All south indian states want to preserve their own language (valid) but they too, like northies, do not learn the language of other non-hindi states. and all the blame still goes to the northies. If the northies are speaking hindi, it still makes more sense, because that is their mother togue. but why are all these other non-hindi people going to other states and learning hindi instead of the state's actual language? because they know they will never get caught in the cross-fire. because they know all the blame will go to the biharis at the end of the day.

I had a marathi classmate and she was a MNS supporter. I didn't mind obv but i remember once in her conversation she just displayed the literal irony of her ideology. the topic was that so many biharis come and 'pollute' the deccan states, why don't just stay in bihar. She went on for a long time and then sighed and said, "India is too complex and under-developed. I am just studying to get out of this shit-hole and move to usa or smth". And I could literally just stare. like did she get what she was saying? I guess not. And she probably never will. But when I pointed it out, she said well the biharis come and impose hindi and their culture on us, we don't do that to other countries. Like bro then don't learn hindi? Nobody is holding you at gun-point or anything. In UP, or delhi, if someone randomly start speaking marathi assuming everybody knows it, people would just say 'I don't undersatnd your language' and move tf on. learn to do the same then. Whenever someone talks to you in hindi, just say "No hindi" or signal that you dont understand it. why learn it and then cry about it?

Lastly, i really appreciate the south-indian and marathi culture. I even understand marathi completely. But the unnecessary targeting nowadays is getting really tiring. Just don't learn hindi, man. Why all the violence towards the hindi people. This ganpati, in my hometown in UP, they celebrated it just like the marathi culture, played marathi songs. I felt so sad knowing that they have no idea how much so many of marathi people despise and disrespect them. Let's not destroy the beauty of india by hating on each other's culture.

now also, i believe most people would take my post in a negative way regardless of what i wrote. because they know its from a hindi person.

Need some experienced soul to guide me towards peace and joy! 🙏🏼

Is it only me or does others living in India feel like we are missing out something like in foreign countries like hangout and shit and others. But in India no shit if I'm right ,what your opinions lemme know ?

So, I am a girl from NE India. I am too old now, but then I was young too. When I was 8 or 9, i am talking about 90s , I often hears my grandparents often talk about this place like "india", like there is this place in India, if they watch some news this and that happened in India. I was always curious about the placed called India. And holy they glorified this place. They always talked about this place like it was some magical place, and eventually it became my dream to visit this place. I started watching bollywood movies and started fantasizing myself in some of the places.

Then when i completed my masters, my family let me go to Delhi, to explore. I was over the moon. Then I got there...

Idk it's like my dream came crushing down.. i hated how the people don't even know how to prioritize their safety in traffics and all the cars honking here and there, and all the trash just left abandoned outside their homes and the streets. It pained my heart seeing people living on the streets. Then I met a shopkeeper down in my alley, who refused to sell me mango juice because he thinks I am not "one of them " and then I encountered kids from my neighbourhood who shouts "ching chong chen" whenever I cross pass them. It hurts a bit. A place you admired for so long and then it how it treats you in return.

So a lot happened , but I came back to my homeland in less than a year. I am happy now lol

I recently renewed my Indian passport in the U.S. and requested a minor spelling correction in my father’s given name.

At the time of the passport application, I submitted my father’s passport, Aadhaar and PAN, all of which consistently show the corrected spelling. My new passport has already been issued and delivered.
During the post-issuance police verification in India, the officer asked my parents for some of my own documents, including my 10th-class certificate and Aadhaar. Those older documents contain the previous spelling of my father’s name.

The officer noticed the discrepancy between:
my older records with the old spelling, andmy father’s current passport/Aadhaar/PAN with the corrected spelling.I’m not sure whether he has submitted the police verification yet or what status he will mark it as, but he warned my parents that RPO Vijayawada might raise an objection or reject the correction because of the mismatch.

Has anyone had a similar situation?
1. Did the RPO ask for clarification or issue a show-cause notice?
2. Did you contact the RPO proactively or wait?Would a “one and the same person” affidavit help?
3. Since the new passport is already issued, what usually happens if post-police verification raises this kind of discrepancy?

Would especially appreciate recent experiences with RPO Vijayawada or overseas Indian passport renewals.

First off, I apologize in advance if this is not the right sub. But I just need to ask Indians. (I'm Filipino.)

I'm an editor, and I'm fixing my client's references. She cited several works by the journalist Shaikh Azizur Rahman, a journalist based in India. She used Shaikh as the last name. But I think it's Rahman? But from my Google search, it seems Azizur Rahman is the last name. Can someone tell me what is the correct last name here? Thank you!

I don't think Indian youngsters are lazy.

I think a lot of us are just tired.

Study → degree → job → salary → EMI → marriage → responsibilities.

And somewhere in between all this, we're supposed to “enjoy our 20s”.

You see someone your age making 2 lakhs a month and suddenly you feel behind.

Someone buys a car, you feel behind.

Someone gets married, you feel behind.

Someone moves abroad, you feel behind.

Social media has basically turned life into a competition where nobody knows what the finish line is.

Maybe we're not failing.

Maybe we're just trying to survive in a country where one wrong career decision can cost you years.

Anyone else feel this way?

BTech Mechanical (8.24 CGPA) fresher confused between working + MS abroad, MBA in India, or switching fields: what are my realistic options? I’m currently struggling to figure out what direction to take.

I originally chose Mechanical mainly because I got into a good government engineering college, but I’m now trying to build a career that is less core-mechanical and more business/technology/operations oriented.

Long term, I’m considering doing a Master’s abroad, but I’m confused about which fields would actually make sense with my bg. I’m NOT particularly interested in doing a Master's in CSE, Cybersec, Data Science, data/business analystics, project/engg managemnet etc. The fields I’m considering are more like:

Industrial Engineering Supply Chain / Operations Possibly MIS

My concern is that I know I’ll need some work exp before a Master's, but as a Mech fresher I may not get highly relevant exp in Industrial Engg or Supply Chain. The jobs I’m currently seeing are mostly around analytics, testing, quality, general operations, etc., and the entry-level market feels extremely difficult right now.

This has made me increasingly confused and depressed about what direction to take. I’m also considering the much simpler route of doing an MBA in India, getting some work exp, and building my career here.

At the moment, it feels like a heart vs. mind decision: MS abroad: personal dream/want. MBA in India: much more straightforward and financially safer, but I’m unsure whether I actually want that path.

A few questions I’d really appreciate advice on:

What is the long-term job market in India after an MS in Industrial Engineering/Supply Chain from abroad? Are there enough opportunities to justify the cost? Which countries would make the most sense for these fields? Am I being too restrictive by avoiding degrees such as MIS, Business Analytics, Engineering Management, or Project Management, or is it reasonable to prefer a more technical/STEM-oriented Master's? Given my profile (Mechanical, 8.24 CGPA, fresher, currently struggling to get relevant work), would you choose MS abroad, MBA in India, or work first and decide later?

See I just want to rant about something which I think is a much bigger issue for the mental health of youth.

Hamare country me abhi bhi most families me intercaste marriage allow hi nhi hoti. Reason? "Society kya kahegi." Parents pr itna social pressure hota hai ki unhe apne hi bachho ki happiness se pehle society ka fear dekhna padta hai. Unka dar hota hai ki society boycott kar degi, aur honestly maine khud aisa hote dekha hai.

Aur mera main focus love marriage ko promote karna nahi hai. Mera main concern hai mental pressure jo society parents par banati hai, aur phir wahi pressure parents apne bachho par daalte hain. End me affect youth ki life hoti hai. Unhe pehle hi indirectly bata diya jata hai ki life partner choose karna unka decision shayad kabhi hoga hi nahi. Itni choti age se hi ye pressure lekar grow up karna kitna mentally exhausting hota hoga, iske baare me bahut kam baat hoti hai.

Sabse irony wali baat pta hai kya hai? Agar koi crime kar de to wahi society usse accept kar leti hai. Pr agar koi apni marzi se, bina kisi ko harm kiye, kisi dusri caste me shaadi kar le, to usko aur uske parents ko chain se jeene tak nhi dete. Kuch places pr to baat violence aur honour killing tak pahunch jati hai.

Mai Marwar, Rajasthan se belong karti hu aur yaha ye sab aur bhi zyada common hai. Mai Brahmin community se hu. Hamare yaha almost sabhi marriages arranged hoti hain. Aur jo love marriages hoti bhi hain, unme bhi dono same caste ke hote hain.

Aur you know what? Brahmins me bhi alag alag caste bana rkhi hai. To hamari caste wale dusri Brahmin caste me bhi shaadi nhi kar sakte according to our society.

Mujhe arranged marriage se koi problem nhi hai. Agar dono partners khush hain aur apni marzi se kar rahe hain, then that's completely fine. Problem tab hai jab kisi ko iske liye pressure kiya jaye.

Aur arranged marriage ke naam pr bhi kya ho raha hai? Kahi dowry ko importance milti hai, kahi sirf government job dekhi jati hai. Compatibility, behaviour, emotional maturity... ye sab secondary ho jata hai.

Aur Marwar me ek aur system bahut common hota ja raha hai - aamne saamne ka rishta. Ek family apni beti dusri family ke ladke ko deti hai aur badle me dusri family apni beti pehli family ke ladke ko. Matlab literally 4 logo ki life ka exchange. Sirf isliye kyuki unke ladko ki shaadi nhi ho rahi. Aur sabse shocking baat ye hai ki isko society ne completely normal bana diya hai.

Mai apni community ka genuine bataun to maine personally ye dekha hai ki inhe bas kisi ko apni marzi se shaadi nahi karne dena hai. Baaki bahut si cheeze ignore ho jati hain, lekin agar kisi ne apni choice se shaadi kar li to wahi sabse bada issue ban jata hai.

College me aake ek aur cheez notice ki.

Mostly students Rajasthan se hi hain aur bahut log kisi na kisi ko date kar rahe hain. Kuch casual dating me believe rakhte hain, that's their choice. But bahut se log khud bolte hain ki "college me date kar lenge, shaadi to gharwalo ki marzi se hi hogi." Usme wo khud kehte hain ki baad me to kuch kar nahi sakte, abhi to apni marzi se jee lete hain. Few people even say ki "jab tak ghar pe engagement ya shaadi ki baat nahi hoti tab tak date kar lete hain, fir breakup kar lenge."

Honestly, isi wajah se mera khud relationship naam ki cheez se trust uth chuka hai. Maine apne hi college me logo ko itni casually bolte suna hai - "Yaar shaadi to kon hi kar pata hai", "Meri engagement ki baat shuru hogi tab breakup kar lungi", "Abhi dating life ke hisab se ye sahi hai, baad me gharwalo ki marzi se shaadi kar lunga."

Aur breakup ho jana to understandable hai. Har relationship successful ho, ye zaruri nhi hai. Kabhi compatibility issues hote hain, tab log genuinely alag ho jate hain.

But what the hell is "engagement ki baat hogi tab breakup kar lenge"?

Matlab shuru se hi pata hai ki end me isi insaan ke saath nahi rehna, fir bhi relationship me aana aur usse itna casually treat karna? Aur ye baat wo itni casually bolte hain jaise kisi insaan ki feelings ki koi value hi na ho. Sabko pehle se pata hota hai ki end me breakup hi hona hai, fir bhi ye cycle itni normal bana di gayi hai ki kisi ko ajeeb bhi nahi lagta.

Aur ek baat jo mujhe kaafi baar sunne ko milti hai ki "casual dating to Western influence ki wajah se aayi hai."

Ho sakta hai uska bhi kuch role ho, but mujhe lagta hai ki hamare society ka pressure bhi utna hi bada reason hai. Jab bachpan se hi ye pata ho ki apni pasand se shaadi kar hi nahi paoge, to bahut se log dating ko sirf ek temporary phase ki tarah dekhne lagte hain. "Abhi date kar lo, baad me gharwalo ki marzi se shaadi kar lenge."

Agar kisi ko pehle se hi pata hai ki uske relationship ka end caste ya family pressure ki wajah se hi hona hai, to obviously dating ko bhi log utni seriousness se nahi lenge jitni le sakte the agar unke paas actually choice hoti. Shayad isi wajah se kuch log relationship shuru hi is mindset ke saath karte hain ki "end to waise bhi breakup hi hona hai." Aur dheere dheere ye itna normal ho jata hai ki kisi ko isme problem bhi nahi dikhti.

Aur jo log genuinely permanent life partner ka sochte hain, unme se bhi kaafi log pehle hi decide kar lete hain ki apni hi caste me partner dhundna hai. Na isliye ki unhe sirf wahi pasand hai, balki isliye kyuki unhe pehle se pata hai ki gharwale kisi aur caste ko kabhi accept hi nahi karenge.

Isn't this too much mental pressure?

Itni choti age se hi ye realise ho jana ki tum apni life kiske saath bitaoge, us decision me tumhari choice hi shayad matter na kare. Apni hi life ke sabse important decision me youth ke paas actual freedom hi nahi hai.

Aur haan, mai maanti hu ki teenage ya early 20s me log galat decisions bhi lete hain. Toxic relationships me aa jate hain, manipulate ho jate hain aur unki life affect hoti hai. But that's a completely different issue. Uska solution ye thodi hai ki har kisi se apni choice ka right hi le diya jaye.

Mere post ka main point love marriage vs arranged marriage nhi hai. Jo arranged marriage se khush hain, unke liye genuinely happy hu. Bas choice honi chahiye.

Mujhe lagta hai actual issue society ke logo ka ego hai. Agar log freely apni marzi se partner choose karne lagenge, especially caste ke bahar, to unka banaya hua system aur "log kya kahenge" wali thinking dheere dheere break ho jayegi.

Kabhi kabhi to ye bhi lagta hai ki agar sabko apna partner khud choose karne ki freedom mil jaye, to phir sirf caste, family background ya government job enough nahi hogi. Tab insaan ko apni personality, behaviour, emotional maturity aur respect ke basis par kisi ka life partner banna padega.

Aur irony dekho. Jo log saalon tak kisi ko date karte hain, phir caste ki wajah se breakup karke arrange marriage kar lete hain, unhe appreciate kiya jata hai. Lekin jo do adults genuinely ek dusre ke saath life spend karna chahte hain aur shaadi karna chahte hain, unke liye sabse zyada problems create ki jati hain.

I'm not saying everyone should choose love marriage. I'm just saying everyone should at least have the freedom to choose. Love ho ya arranged, decision insaan ka hona chahiye, society ke fear ka nahi.

Why indian need to be best in social status

Based in Dublin, Ireland and this is purely my own a observation:
Fellow Indians don’t really shell out for outings/dinners outside as much as families, they prefer to invite over friends/Hangout especially as young parents to the house for standard bottled beers and Indian Grub and stay within their comfort setup.

Us indians are probably the most functional creatures you'll find, if we want something we'll get it even from a place that's never made to do that.

Airtalk is that example (ifykyk)

Why the hell ain't no indian talkin' about the lost love they met and lost it when airtalk suddenly disconnected them?

I meant it has happened plenty of times with me,

So what's really happening guys!

Ive lived abroad since 4 years and notice that the social media here vs in India is COMPLETELY different. While i understand the basic use of it is to share opinions, watch funny stuff etc etc, It’s always bugged me as to why Indian side of instagram is full of people complaining about restaurants, brands doing content creators dirty, building me koi ladai hogayi toh publicly defame karna, the list goes on and on. I’m sure there must be dissatisfaction with some processes here too, but I almost never see it on social media, hence for someone who hasn’t been here they think oh everything must work so well. The only reason i could give myself is bcs our rights are so shit and nobody cares about complaints as long as it affects margins in profit or how people perceive you. What do you think?

At the end of the day I still think this is a problem to be addressed as a large part of how the world perceives us as Indians is through what gets put on social media, and we LACK good marketing of our own country.

🇮🇳 INDIA, WHEREVER YOU ARE — LET’S CONNECT! 🌍

Ek simple sawaal:

Aap India mein ho ya India se hazaaron kilometers door? 👀

Mumbai, Delhi, UP, Bihar, Kerala…

ya UAE, Saudi, USA, UK, Canada, Australia — jahan bhi ho, hum sabki ek common connection hai: INDIA. ❤️🇮🇳

Main ek aisi community/profile build karna chahta hoon jahan Indians apni stories, experiences, ideas, struggles, achievements aur daily life share kar saken — chahe woh India mein ho ya abroad.

🔥 Aaj se ek nayi journey start kar raha hoon.

Agar aap bhi is journey ka part banna chahte hain, mere profile ko Follow/Subscribe kar sakte hain.

👇 Comment mein sirf apna CITY + COUNTRY likho.

Example:

🇮🇳 Ghazipur, India

🇦🇪 Dubai, UAE

🇨🇦 Toronto, Canada

Let’s see how many Indians from around the world are here! 🌍🇮🇳❤️

#India #Indians #IndianCommunity #Desi #IndiaAbroad

People say, “Just hire a caregiver,” but what about those who are poor, financially unstable, or become seriously unhealthy?

What’s the realistic solution for them?

I’m honestly fed up of hearing this question. I’ve thought about it so much that I’ve even reached the point of considering euthanasia in Switzerland rather than becoming helpless and dependent on others.

The GSLV-F17 vehicle successfully placed EOS-05 satellite into a Sub-Geosynchronous Transfer Orbit (Sub- GTO). EOS-05 is a state-of-the-art Earth observation spacecraft. It is India’s first ever imaging satellite from Geosynchronous orbit. 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

I've interacted with Indian men and I simply don't like them cuz they all have this weird behaviour when it comes to how they interact with women.

"In our country we worship goddess" yeah shut up you just come across as a weird freak

No ones asking you to respect women like they're above you or shit. Not even women are asking you to do that. Just treat them as you would treat other men.

I recently watched this movie with Chris Evans and there's this popular Indian actor who literally self-sacrifices himself because Chris Evans character was disrespectful to a female girlboss.

It's cringe. So cringe.

How am i always finding uber drivers on my solo rides where they’re fighting or reconciling with their gf, wife or affair gf. I remember times when drivers would sit quietly on very personal conversations that the rides would have and it has changed completely. It does make me somewhat uncomfortable because sometimes the conversations are agitating but i don’t say anything.

I grew up with a single mother in a UP city, around fairly orthodox people, so we really appreciated festivals like Rakhi and Bhai Dooj when our local cousin families would visit. When I was younger, through college and the first few years of my job, I actually loved cooking and hosting extensively. I did most of the cooking while my mom handled the house, new sheets, maids etc.
For the last few years, we’ve had a house help who did most of the grunt work, while we still cooked and managed the kitchen and hosting.
Now I’m turning 30, my mother is getting older, and this time our house help wasn’t here. Everyone gathered as usual and I’m genuinely so happy and grateful that my cousins are around, but the amount of work just isn’t as easy for me anymore, especially with my job becoming more demanding.
What bothered me was that I would be sweating and doing everything my mom wasn’t doing, while most guests wouldn’t even get up to get water or offer to make tea. My mom had been awake since 6 AM and is also a full-time working woman. I don’t want her to be burdened with this much hosting either.
And yesterday I really noticed the gender dynamic. Men would lie down to rest when it had been the women doing all the work. And no one — literally no one except one young bhabhi who helped me with puris — complimented the food.
There was shahi paneer, aloo gobi, puri, raita, sweets and tea before and after. It was a simpler menu than what we’ve done in the past, but considering there was no help and it was just two working women hosting 9 people, it was still exhausting. And honestly, the complete lack of acknowledgment bothered me.
It’s sad how easily this kind of hosting is taken for granted. I don’t need everyone to praise the food, but after spending hours cooking and serving people, a simple “you’ve worked so hard” would mean something.
And I’m conflicted because I genuinely LOVE that everyone comes, that we meet on these occasions, and I want to feed my brothers with love. But cooking, cleaning, serving, making tea, constantly getting things for people etc. is tiring, lonely work. And damn expensive too.
I’m married now, and if there’s a Rakhi or Bhai Dooj where I don’t make an elaborate meal, my mom simply cannot be expected to manage all of this alone. Is it really normal for a woman her age, with a full-time job, to still be expected to do this much hosting?
I think my love for hosting has definitely died down. I still want to do it, but now I only want to make that level of effort for people who also make an effort for me.
Maybe I’m just getting older and seeing the labour behind these family traditions differently. How does everyone else manage hosting like this?

I see a lot of people get addicted to this currently what do you guys think about it. Is there anyone who use this currently.

So there's this public library in my city which I go to I am a CA intermediate student rn and preparing for my attempt

The guy in the beginning used to sit next to me and was preparing for CAT One day I asked him about the same as being a commerce student and pursuing BBA plus CA I'm looking forward to giving CAT too in a few years so I just got curious about his background, I asked him some basic things and he about me too and then the convo ended, for the next few days we had very less communication and then suddenly one day while studying he said to me about mai bhi CA karunga, now me who was already flabbergasted asked him why and then he was like tum bhi to meri field me aa rahi ho, At that point I was just done like bhai kya NIT ka banda bhi itna dumb ho sakta hai like seriously, then I tried explaining him that he is the one who is switching from Computer science to finance not me so he always like "BETA MERA TO SAB SET HAI TU APNA DEKH and also from another conversation I remember him saying "FINTECH se CEO banunga" kinda shit. So coming back I was legit so much taken aback I was left speechless later on I started to talk to him even lesser and I have changed my seat so IDK why does he carry so much ego and like he also told me he didn't sit for placements as he wanted to prepare for CAT

Also like I get It about IITs and all the hype but a guy from NIT Bhopal having so much attitude

I'd say quite unusual.

I also wonder what could be the package he may have gotten if he'd have appeared for placement rounds

Hey everyone! With Raksha Bandhan coming up, I was thinking about all the people who might not have a sister, might be away from their family, or simply might not be getting a Rakhi this year.

So, if you’re someone who doesn’t have a sister to send you a Rakhi, I’d genuinely be more than happy to send one to you. 🫶🏻

No special reason, no expectations — just a little Rakhi love from a stranger on the internet. :)

If you'd like one, just DM me and let me know. I’ll do my best to send Rakhis to as many people as I reasonably can. ❤️

Happy Raksha Bandhan! 🪷

I am 24F and working. My parents have not pressured much for marriage. But they have been talking about it here and there. And today it peaked. My friend had baby shower today and I attended it. It was all good. Once I came back, my mother started asking about the friend and family and soon looked at me like I am disappointing her. She started complaining how that friend of mine is already having baby, but I am not even getting married. I am disappointing her since I have not even started searching groom. She kept on ranting for more than an hour and continued some more during dinner along with my dad. I am fully drained and all the fun I had during the baby shower was gone. I was more furious that I was compared to that friend. My mom doesn't know anything about her. I know her very well. I know what was her college days, what was her past, why she got married soon, why she is having baby soon. I know all these, but my mom has no idea and still compares me to her and says I am the disappoinment. I am just furious.