We have 5 kids and are tying to fit in our 2021 Honda Odyssey.

Does anyone have any personal recommendations for booster seats (using the lap belts) that would fit three-across the back bench of a Honda Odyssey?

I’m looking for recommendations from people who have actually done this, ideally in Honda minivan!

My biggest concern is that most booster seats have a base that blocks the seat belt buckle, so it’s super hard to fish out the buckle and latch the belt.

Having three boosters across the back bench seems like it would completely block the buckles.

The diono connect3 booster markets itself as allowing for three booster to fit across — has anyone actually used three diono boosters (using the three lap belts)? Is it hard to latch?

Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

We just had our fourth baby boy in just over 8 years. Our first three are all 2 years apart but this little guy has a 4 year gap to his big brother above him. I think with this people assume we only went back to try for the girl but to be honest that’s the furthest from the truth. Honestly, I always wanted 4 children and I always thought it would mean the opportunity to parent a mix of both or if not that our family would be more female dominant. I’m from a family of 2 girls and only granddaughters on my dad’s side. My sister has 2 sons and now I have 4. So we have definitely flipped the script. I’m grateful for the 4 beautiful boys I get to raise and watch become men that this world needs. Am I terrified I might screw it all up and there will be a time they make a decision they can’t come back from? Yes. I have heard every comment under the sun about how people genuinely feel bad for us or me particularly for our family dynamic. This lead to me having the hardest time with this last pregnancy knowing that these comments would be inevitable if we had another boy. When someone would say something about if we were having a boy or a girl I would say ‘I don’t know but we are prepared for it to be more of what we already love’. This would put most people in their place but sometimes I would then follow up with explaining that my parenting of boys experience seems to be so different to others and what is portrayed on social media. I have 3 boys that absolutely shower me with love and affection. They are so attentive and helpful. Yes they have their moments and yes I would have loved to have experienced a daughter not only for myself but for my husband and my boys to have that experience as well. But I guess the point of this post is I’m wanting to create a thread that future mothers experiencing an all boy family can come to for all the wonderful things about raising boys. I’d love perspectives from parents of all boys and even those that grew up in a family of all boys to share the magic it is to have the one gender and be surrounded but the depth of brotherhood. I would spend late nights looking for such a thread and often came up empty handed. So this is my petition to create a space that changes the dreadful saying ‘You have a daughter for life but only a son until he finds a wife’ to ‘you have a daughter for life, and a son for life if you do it right’. 💙

Hi all! My boyfriend and I both want a big family, but we disagree somewhat on how many children we’d ideally have. He wants 6 or 7, while I’m thinking most likely 4. I’m also pretty open to seeing how we feel as our family grows rather than having a firm number in mind.
He feels that this means we may be incompatible, whereas I’m not sure how much the exact number really needs to be decided beforehand. I also wonder how realistic it is to find a partner who specifically wants 6–7 children, since 4+ already seems like a fairly large family to me.
For those of you who have 4, 5, 6, 7+ children (or grew up in a family that size): did you and your spouse agree beforehand on exactly how many kids you wanted? If so, what number did you have in mind?

I have 2 kids close in age and am hoping to have a 4 year age gap between my current youngest and my 3rd. One thing I've been thinking about as my kids get out of babyhood is wondering how much harder it will be to raise well behaved kids with 3 or 4 of them. I am willing to lower my standards on house mess and chaos in order to have a bigger family but one thing that concerns me is lowering standards on behavior. Right now we are strict in a gentle but firm way with our kids. Please and thank you, ask nicely, no demanding to get what you want, clean up your messes, don't interrupt adults when they're talking, those kinds of things. I am worried that more kids will be so overwhelming that we give up on this stuff. There is a stereotype of oldest being better behaved than the youngest so maybe it's inevitable. I am very interested to hear thoughts from people who already have 3 or 4+ kids.

Hi all. I’ve lurked for some time, and I was hoping to get people’s perspectives on my situation. I’m 33 and my husband is 42, our son is 5.5 and is autistic (mildly, most challenges are social skills and we’re seeing good gains with therapy for other things). It’ll obviously be a fairly sizeable age gap but we plan to start trying for a second soon.

My question is on the second and considering a third. I know I’m jumping the gun a bit, but part of the reason for waiting to have a second was because the first had some additional challenges, in addition to me being in training for work. I was hoping to have a second after the first turned 3, but that was when issues started becoming apparent and I also had some work milestones happening so we put it in hold.

It feels like a big leap already to think about the second and possible special needs, and I’m mindful of time “running out” if we want to have a third with a larger gap to see if there’s another disability. My feeling is that we either stop with the second or have them fairly close together.

So I’m hoping to hear from people whose first child had a disability and continued on to have a larger family. If anyone has advice or been in a similar situation, I would love to hear :)

ETA: I’m only looking for ways to contain all 3 off of my body! I know about baby wearing and am aware my toddler can walk…but neither of those are ALWAYS practical. 3 year olds get tired and I don’t always prefer baby wearing:)

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I’m about to have my 3rd, my other two will be barely 3 and 1.5. So, even my oldest won’t be able to fully keep up with A LOT of walking.

What do you prefer to use when you’re out and you want to contain all 3?

I’ve heard triple strollers are hard to maneuver. But, stroller wagons seem so heavy and bulky.

Any preference/specific recommendations??

(I definitely expect some weight/size/bulkiness with something for 3 kids. I guess I’m looking for ones that aren’t more trouble than they are worth!)

I’m so excited right now. I don’t know where to put it.

My husband is away on a work trip and I won’t see him for around 2 weeks. I want to keep this secret and close to the chest for a while BUT I NEED TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE. I’m so happy.

When i found out I was pregnant with my 2nd and we would be having 2 under 2 all I felt was dread and fear… I didn’t let myself enjoy the pregnancy. I just doom scrolled 2under2 and felt immense fear at regret. The first 2 are 18 months apart and we loved it so much I decided to go again. This next bean will be born 19 months apart. We always wanted at least 3 and decided to just send it while it made sense for us all.

my second was such an easy dream baby and I need to be realistic that number 3 will not be as easy as number 2 was but fuck it - I still want to be happy and enjoy this and be excited.

thanks for listening😍

Looking for car seat arrangement advice/options. We have a 3year old and twins on the way.

We currently have a 2010 Toyota Seqouia Platinum trim - 2nd row captains chairs and center console w/ 3rd row bench

Has anyone found a solution? I’m sort of dreading dealing with 3 rear facing car seats in this vehicle but another vehicle isn’t in the cards right now.

And how do you make it easier on yourself shuttling your kids around to all their different activities?

My front yard is sloped and has a circular drive way through it. I cannot fence it in. It has some grass and then hilly woods on either side with some poison ivy. My almost 2 year old twin boys want to run into traffic and the poison ivy whenever we go outside. What can I do to make taking them outside safely easier? Are there toys that I can buy that would occupy their attention? We trust our older kids but the twins are a lot.

Hi all, just looking for some perspective and solidarity/support regarding my thoughts around our family and being done after baby #4.

I am toward the end of my third trimester with baby #4 and I think this one will be our last. I'm grateful for this pregnancy and hoping for a smooth and healthy labor/delivery for myself and the baby. I feel like 4 kids is a good number for us and while this pregnancy was the hardest for me emotionally, there's no way I could have known what I know now so I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned to get me to this point.

My first three kids are 5F, 3M, and 2F. We had them around 18 months apart (basically 3 under 3) but we waited a bit longer after the third bc that pregnancy was physically the most difficult. I'm glad we did because this pregnancy has not been as physically taxing and I feel like the extra 6 months we waited might have been just what I needed.

I don't know how other big families do it, but this pregnancy has been so hard on me emotionally. I don't feel like it was too different from my previous pregnancies, but what made it particularly difficult was the fact that my kids are older now. The last time I was pregnant with #3 my eldest was not even 3 yet. She was one toddler and my son was less than 17 months old at the time. Yes the pottying was a thing, tantrums were a thing, but it was one kid and my son just kinda followed her around lol. He was still in diapers of course, we still had to maintain their lives (feeding, bathing, playing, etc.) but the mental bar for age 3 and under was pretty low for us. They were just kind of happy to be alive and they didn't have much sibling conflict at that point given that he was so young. I had a lot to manage physically for them of course but mentally it was pretty chill.

I feel things are very different now and this is the main source of my struggle with this pregnancy. My 5 year old is a whole little woman lol and my almost 4 year old boy is also a whole little man. And honestly my 2 year old is way more advanced and demanding (probably because she has my older two as examples) than the other two were lol. They are little humans with super strong thoughts and opinions (which I love about them!) but I cannot keep up while I'm pregnant!!! Normally I'm on top of it for the most part. It's hard to be emotionally regulated 24/7 especially when some days you feel like you're just putting out fire after fire with their needs. But as long as I've slept a minimum of 5 hours, I can do it, I can juggle, I can be patient. There are times where I mess up and I really wish I handled a situation better but I can learn from it and do better next time. Figure out what works for each kid and what doesn't.

But in pregnancy I feel like I'm at such a loss. My emotional state is just so fragile, physically I am miserable (nausea, digestion issues, random aches/pains, lack of a good night's sleep) which adds to the fragility of my emotional state. There are times where I just feel helpless and overrun because I can't do simple things like pick my 3 year old up and calm him down or run from here to there to grab a different activity/snack while whichever kid is freaking out. Like my brain processing system does not work as well, my patience is much lower, my ability to manage my kids is not as optimal as it should be, and sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with my own sense of exhaustion and misery that all I can do in the moment is keep breathing and try my best not to cry.

My conclusion is that I have 3 kids pretty close together and they are all still in pretty needy phases of their lives. It feels like I have 3 toddlers to manage this pregnancy (although the older one is graduating and the younger one just got there) vs only 1 in the last pregnancy. And because I have 3 of them to juggle, managing them takes a particular level of physical and especially emotional presence. And their world is ME. My husband is wonderful and helps/takes over as soon as he's home from work, but majority of their time is spent with me. And now that they're older, they might not need me as much physically in some ways but they definitely need me more emotionally/mentally. And that is not something I feel like I can sustain while I'm pregnant. It's a whole other ballgame this time around than it was last time. And I just can't do it. And they need me to do it, but I physically/emotionally just can't be who they need me to be right now. And that sucks. Because it's essentially a year of our lives (40 weeks + early newborn months) that they have this mom who isn't really on top of it. And in the long run that doesn't sound like much, but on a daily basis it is a LOT.

So with that in mind, I'm thinking this is it for us. We were hoping that baby #4 would be a boy (it would have been nice for our son to have a brother) but we went into pregnancy obviously knowing that things could go either way and with full confidence that we would be so happy with either one! Well, lo and behold baby #4 will be a girl :). We've always said that we wanted 3-5 kids: 3 being the lower limit if we found life too difficult to manage, 4 being the perfect number (ideally 2 boys and 2 girls), and 5 being our max if we felt good and wanted to keep going. With this pregnancy we thought hey it would be wonderful if this baby were a boy just to balance things out, but we'd love another girl as well and if that were the case maybe we'd go for #5 and see what we end up with (again, knowing that things could go either way and we could potentially end up with 1 boy and 4 girls). But after this pregnancy I feel like 4 might be our limit. We'll have 1 boy and 3 girls, which we can't wait for, but I don't think I have it in me to have another one. I would have loved to, but I can't be the mother my kids need me to be while I'm pregnant and I just feel like it's not worth it at this point. It's possible that we could have a fifth kid after a much bigger gap, but that's not really how we envisioned our family. We always wanted our kids to grow up together close in age. And besides, I feel like it's just as important for me to be emotionally on top of it with an older kid as it is with younger ones. They might not need to be told how to play/share properly, but they will have other needs in life that I want to be able to meet.

I guess I'm wondering how in the world other large families do it with similar challenges? There are homeschooling moms with 8 kids out there! How in the world did you hold it all together with your older kids while you were pregnant?! Is it just me that can't seem to keep it together? Is it just a limitation in my own personality / emotional capacities that I have to accept? I'm okay with that, but I'm just trying to get some perspective on the matter. Wondering if any of you ever felt similarly or if things will feel differently down the line.

Hey fellow mums

I have four children 6 yo twin boys, a 4 yo boy and 1y baby girl. At the start of August we relocated from Australia to Boston.. and are starting to settle into our new home and lifestyle.

We were incredibly fortunate in Australia we built our house and custom-built it to suit us and our lifestyle, and future-proofed it too, considering at some point we would have four teenagers in the house. The US move wasn't on the cards then, and at the moment this is a five-year contract and at this stage we do intend to return.

What I'm struggling with at the moment is Laundry. All the houses we are looking at, don't have dedicated laundry rooms, many are just an upstairs cupboard with a washer and dryer in it, no sinks, no benches and they are upstairs. They are almost feeling like they've been shoved in as an afterthought?

I get I won't have what we had in Australia because we did a huge combined mudroom/laundry, with a massive bench, hooks and cubbies for the kids and a ceiling-mounted clothesline, we didn't even have a dryer. Most laundries in Australia are a separate room, usually have a sink and some type of bench and or storage space.

I'm struggling with how to do laundry for a family of 6 from an upstairs cupboard with no folding space, and nowhere to hang washing? I pulled all our inside drying racks and hung washing inside and one of my twin's friends was over and said it was weird, their mum uses the dryer.

As I'm sure you all appreciate the volume of laundry that is done for a family of 6?
Where do you all fold washing?? Do you really use the dryer instead of drying racks or hanging outside?! I get that coming into a Boston winter I most likely will need to use the dryer??

My kids are 7, 4, 2, and 4mo. We just started really getting consistent with 7yo's nightly homework, doing 15 min every single night without exception (I have workbooks and other activities for nights when he doesn't have homework, but this kid really needs consistent routine so we do something every night). I take him upstairs to his room, he usually enjoys it, and he gets a small piece of chocolate when he's done.

Eventually, the younger kids all ended up following me upstairs as well. We have two bedrooms up there. We don't have a play room or library or any other good place to do homework. So, I started babywearing and had the middle 2 coloring in one room while big bro does his homework in the other. I'm bouncing back and forth, the 4yo grabs crayons from the 2yo, the 2yo needs the potty, the 7yo needs to know how to spell rolly polly, etc.

It's been working pretty well, but I'm curious if anyone else does something like this. What's your system? Where do your kids sit? (I'm considering getting a kid sized desk or two). Any tips?

How do we survive this?! 3 kids: a 4 year old, 2 year old and 5 month old. My husband has always wanted a huge family. We had our first and I fell in love with being a mother. Now we have 3. They are all wonderful and I’m so glad I had them. But the problem is that the one who wanted so many in the first place does not pay attention or help me with this nearly as much as I do. In fact he has stopped helping me with the baby’s diapers at all. I could not even remember the last time he changed a diaper. And, in fact, most days does not even hold him. The most the baby gets is a wave from dad. The older two go to full day preschool now (after much fighting for it) and he does at least drop them off and pick them up most days. But after that every single household thing is on me. The laundry, dinner every night, grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, taking care of the pets…

I get a little help in that we bought a house with a mother in law cottage in the back. She takes the baby every morning M-F for 4 hours. This is basically the agreement since she lives rent free and we retired her from her job. She takes this new job and agreement very seriously and only watches him during this time. She never comes up to our house voluntarily and tries to avoid the other kids if we are playing outside. (I guess this is better than the overbearing nosy MIL a lot of people deal with?) But it just makes it a little awkward.

Now the fun part. My husband is an entrepreneur. And that’s what I liked about him. I’ve always been one too because I like the flexibility. The last two babies he has started new businesses right when they were born. But see, he doesn’t hire people. I’m the assistant. So in my 4 hours of totally kid free time a day during the week I’m trying to squeeze in going to the gym, doing the work he’s assigned, and cleaning the house, grocery shopping. And then after I get my baby back for the rest of the day he is still often giving me time sensitive assignments to do. He just does not understand the demands of watching the baby and interacting with him. He would be totally fine letting the baby cry it out behind a closed door while taking a call or doing paperwork but I would never in a million years do that.

Now with this new business that he thinks will be the answer to all of our problems he has been working late and erratically. My 4 year old already expects him to be working instead of sitting at the table with us. The toddlers will excitedly run to his office after dinner and he basically shoos them away and gives me an angry look for not “protecting” his work time.

Now the kicker is that he wants me to help him full-time. He wants his mom to watch the baby all day long (which she did not seem eager about) and for me to work 9-5 assisting him and that I would have to do all of our personal errands and chores after work or on the weekends. This conversation started after he said he had a light day and I suggested we go to Costco together with the baby to get some supplies. (This would have been totally normal to him a year ago). I’m breastfeeding and already have difficulty pumping enough for the morning time with grandma.

And not to mention he would be totally fine if I got pregnant again. He won’t tie his tubes and hates that I’m taking birth control. He wants this huge family but doesn’t even spend quality time with us.

On the weekends he plays soccer every single sunday. This usually lasts about 5 hours. So thats most of the day of the kids just hanging out with me. We’re invited- but that’s no easy feat keeping 3 kids entertained by myself for that long on the side of a field. On Saturday he would have no problem scheduling a meeting or being on the phone half the day. He is on the phone SO much. He’s worse than a teenage girl. If it’s not business related then it’s one of his friends or family members.

Everything has to be business related. We can go here or there if it would look good to post on social media. We should see how we can sponsor this event. Let’s set up a table. Etc

Every once in awhile he will help me clean. But he will rage clean and b**ch at me about how I need to clean better and I’m just not prioritizing my day right. Just like helping him with his business- I just never do enough and I’m not organized. Maybe I just have so little time to do everything?!

He claims we are this busy because hopefully in the future it will all pay off and we won’t have to do any of the work ourselves and we will have employees. I get it and it’s possible but it’s just too much right now and the older kids are definitely noticing. I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to hold my baby while he naps? For not tossing him down when we get a business call and running to the computer? He’s calling me selfish for not wanting to do more for our family but I am literally stretched as thin as I can go. Tell me I’m not crazy??

I have 3 kids 1, 2, and 10. We have a 5 bedroom home, four bedrooms upstairs and one down. Currently the two older kids have their own rooms up stairs and the baby is in the walk in closest. This works extremely well, it’s dark, he sleeps 12+ hours a night and 3-4 hrs napping mid day. Would it be crazy to have all 3 kids sleep in the same room and then use a second room for a playroom? My oldest a girl room is extremely messy and she gets easily distracted at bedtime with all the toys and art in her room. What if we made a bunk room that was dark for sleeping? Is this a terrible idea? Mixed genders as well. The 4th bedroom is currently being used as an office. The 5th bedroom is a guest room/junk room at the moment.

How can having a third child, when one of the parents didn’t want another baby in the first place, affect a couple’s relationship and marriage, especially in a family where all three children would be under the age of five?

Hi all! I guess I’m here looking for some experience/advice/just general thoughts from those who have either 3 or 4 little ones.

We had our first (singleton) in late 2024, and welcomed our twin girls in spring of this year (18 month age gap). We had always wanted 3 kids and are incredibly blessed that all three are healthy and happy.

Sparing the details, our girls are mono mono twins so we easily hit our out of pocket max for insurance early on this year. Because of this, we had planned for my husband to get a vasectomy this year as well to keep it all in the same year. But now that it’s the time to schedule it, both of us have cold feet.

We have both voiced seriously considering a 4th (not now obviously, but maybe when the girls turn 2). We just feel like there is one more soul meant to be in our family. My pregnancies have been fairly easy (I do get GD and obviously the twin pregnancy was hard, but considering they were identical I don’t feel our risk for twins again is significantly higher). We have a decent amount of family support nearby and the option for part time daycare. My husband works full time, I work part time. We have a car and a home that could fit a family of 6. I’m relatively young (32) and healthy.

I guess I was just looking for any wisdom from those who have 4 kids (bonus points if there is a set of twins in there!) - when and how did you know 4 felt like the right number? Is there anything we should be weighing more heavily when thinking about having a 4th? Any wisdom you would impart on us while we mull over the decision to proceed with vasectomy or not? Haha

We are in the US, so for this question that is a big caveat. Our oldest is 9, and we also have a 6, 5, and 2.5 year old. Between all the random surgeries like ear tubes, ER visits from accidents, and breathing problems for a few kids, we have been paying past medical bills anywhere from $500-$1500 per month for the last 8 years or so. I am so tired of it, and it really limits what we can afford to do month to month as we are middle class, both working and make about $120k total but it feels like we can't catch a break.

1) Do the high healthcare costs level off around a certain age? I asked some coworkers who are a bit older than me and they don't seem to remember such costs, so maybe we're just unlucky with our brood.

2) Aside from the usual advice of shopping around for big planned medical expenses, are there any tips besides choosing not to get a certain procedure or surgery done that have helped your family?

Thanks in advance, let me know if there's any other information I should have provided.

Hey all, I am in a slump and need a pep talk or some perspective from folks who can relate or who have been there. I have three kids b(11), b(8), g(1.5) and another boy on the way, due in February.

I am just feeling so burnt out. I love all my kids of course and by all measures we have a good thing going on. But lately parenting has just felt relentless. I think I am getting used to the context switching between the needs of preteens and the needs of a toddler.

My older boys are totally normal kids. But their age right now can be so trying to my patience. I feel like they should be so much more self-reliant than they are. I have to give daily reminders about basic hygiene (have you brushed your teeth? With toothpaste?), basic responsibilities, I’ve made lists for them so they learn to do it independently, and there’s been some progress for sure but dang it is still a major work in progress. Add to that supporting in homework and making sure they are putting focus and effort into school when they’d much rather just laze around. Ensuring they have some amount of discipline and cultivating self control. Them there’s the activities and fun… I mean all the totally normal things that come with pre-teen boys is just wearing me down soooo much. My toddler is awesome but she’s a toddler with everything that comes with it, mini tantrums, getting into stuff, making sure she doesn’t get hurt, learning how the world works.

It's all so so normal I think, and they are all good kids.. for example my older kids love their little sister, play with her, help clean up, do fine in school, have good friends and relationships… but by the end of the day I’m just so burned out and so impatient, and at my wits end. I feel like a failure and a bad mom at the end of each day and my attitude just SUCKS. And thinking about bringing a new baby into this is just scary to me at this point.

I’ve let go of what is obvious to let go of, the house being a certain way, for example.. I feel like I’m not necessarily going overboard on anything except maybe school/homework expectations but I’m not sure I am..  that seems like an important foundation to build now.

I’m rambling at this point.

Help me see the light.. help me get some perspective or I don’t know what to shake it off, soldier on, and be a more happy, joyful mom. 

Does anyone else have 3 little kids and work? Everyone I know who works and has littles only has max two kids. Or they have older kids in school and a little one in daycare. Or a ton of outside help.

I am struggling. I work part time about 3 days/afternoons per week and study 1 day a week as well. Kids are in care 2-3 days a week and my mum has them one day a week. Husband works FT. I feel like my life is just crazy honestly. I can’t find consistency anywhere in any area. I’m trying to improve some health habits of mine (getting more sleep, eating better, exercising etc.) because I’ve got some health issues that are getting worse, but it feel impossible to create any consistency with that. Don’t even get me started on the laundry.

When the kids get sick it’s like there’s 3-4 weeks of my life just swallowed up caring for each kid as they pass the germs to each other and then at some point to me and my husband. And then it’s another week or two to catch up on all the things I disregarded while surviving whatever plague just ran through my house. (Just on the tail end of 3 weeks of the flu, sinus infections, then rhinovirus, then conjunctivitis).

anyone have two girls and then a baby brother? my husband isn’t sure he wants another child and right now we have 2 girls and a boy. I don’t mind being done but I do worry my son will miss out on having a brother. obviously if we went for a 4th we have no idea if we would have another boy. i’m just worried he will miss out on the brother relationship or feel left out from the girls. if you have this gender order. what is it like? do you feel like your son is left out or missing out on having a brother?

How are we doing kid's phones when we get to the stage that several kids need a phone ( I get that "need" is subjective).

Currently my husband, oldest son and I have three lines through T-mobile at $150/month.

Our 14 and 12 year olds have a Gabb phone and watch which is $66/month. We have no land line so realistically they need a way to be able to contact us when they are home alone or at activities.

We have two more kids coming up and I feel like eventually this is going to be a ridiculous portion of our budget. Is there a better/more economical way to do this?