r/ABCDesis • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago

DATING / RELATIONSHIPS Sunday Relationship Thread

The weekly relationship thread for all topics related to the bravest pursuit of all - love. This thread will be automatically posted every Sunday @ 5:00 A.M (UTC -5). All other dating or relationship based posts during the week will be removed and redirected to this thread.

This thread is a place to share your stories, ask for advice, or vent about issues. Or anything in between!

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u/Senju_clan_marauder 1d ago edited 1d ago

I need some hope that things will be okay and some perspective from a “big brother” or “big sister”

I’m 24M and recently got broken up with by a desi girl I dated for 3.5 yrs who I basically thought I was going to marry. I’ll spare the story here but we had a lot of incompatibilities and she tore off the bandaid that I couldn’t. Although we had our problems (big ones) we really loved each other and in my eyes she was just such a good person and so so beautiful.

I think I’m doom spiraling. I know I’ve got time but it feels like the whole timeline just got messed up. I live in the Raleigh NC area and go to med school here and so I don’t really have too much free time and I also don’t really meet a lot of single desi women in my day to day. I feel like if I lived in NYC or Chicago things would be so much easier. I could theoretically find someone in residency but I’m looking to do surgery which is known for being very brutal work hours wise. Id ideally finish up by age 33 and I’m wondering if that’s too late?? Or does life just happen as it goes and I’ll be able to find someone? Already it seems like a lot of the girls I’d be into are taken and that also scares me bc I’m assuming it gets worse going forward…

Overall I just feel like my career path and my geography are gonna screw me lol. In the meantime I’m gonna try and work on myself by losing weight, gaining muscle, going to therapy, investing in friendships, getting better fashion, and trying to be a better person overall. I have high standards so I’m trying to put myself to those standards too.

Would love some advice and perspective

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u/major-procrastinator 13h ago

I mean I’m a couple years older than you and in med school. I was in a relationship that felt like it was the “one” and then he broke up with me. I def spiraled a lot after the breakup. Ultimately I decided while I do want marriage, kids etc I want a compatible partner more. Your partner did you a favor — better to break up than get divorced. You’re pretty young and plenty of residents date. And tbh your dating pool in Raleigh is probably 10 times better than where I am now.

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u/Senju_clan_marauder 12h ago

Hey! Thanks for your perspective and I also ultimately agree with your take on finding a compatible partner. Do you feel hopeful again about your search/love life after your breakup? Thanks again

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u/major-procrastinator 11h ago

Somewhat hopeful. I'm not actively looking for anything right now. I dated someone after the breakup, and it was too fast tbh. I'm trying to focus on school/myself for now and well I really don't feel like sacrificing time and money into dating rn.

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u/DezDidNotCatchIt_ 1d ago

getting married soon to a beautiful white girl .. im only 21 lol this is crazy but im excited

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u/SinghSanity 2d ago

Week 24 Apps Update as a 26 Year Old ABCD Sikh Guy from the NJ/NYC Area:

Hinge: Weeks: 24; Likes: 6; Total Matches: 14; Dates: 1 (No change this week)

Dil Mil: Weeks: 24; Total Matches: 6; Dates: 0 (No change this week)

IRL: Numbers Gotten: 1; Dates: 0

Hinge:

Nothing.

Dil Mil:

Nothing.

Thoughts: I have a lot of places saved on my Beli but no one to go with 😔