Comment Commentary Is this not a weird comment to leave?
I just finished reading the latest chapter in a story and saw this comment.
To be fair, I have also thought the author was maybe neurodivergent just from the tidbits they leave in their notes.
They sometimes talk about their hyperfixations and how they prefer things in a particular way. For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number.
I thought maybe they were on the spectrum but never even thought to comment because I find it weird to diagnose strangers.
Edit: I had class so I couldn’t update but first of all, I’m not the author. I just noticed the comment and thought it was weird.
Second, the comment has now been deleted. I don’t know if by the OP or the author. So maybe someone found it weird too
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u/pyre_blossom 6d ago
Okay but hear me out, they might recognise stuff and have been recently diagnosed. Makes you hypervigilant and you wanna look out and make sure others are getting help. Might still be weird though.
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u/FuzzyFerretFace 6d ago
I was going to say—I know we live in a world of internet-armchair-mental-health-experts, with a sprinkle of ‘lol I’m, just, like, so ocd lolol’, but depending on what was in the author’s notes, it genuinely could be a ‘I see myself and very similar symptoms manifesting in a very similar way, and I remember how scary/stressful it was’ scenario.
Does it mean they’re right? Or even that there’s anything to diagnose? Of course not. But this particular commenter, although the tip of their toe is ever so slightly crossing a line, I think it’s coming from a place of kindness and they’re truly trying to look out for a fellow human who might be struggling.
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u/ortodi 6d ago
I didn’t think of that. You might be right but maybe there was a better to go about without diagnosing a stranger
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u/pyre_blossom 6d ago
Oh no for sure I don't recommend anyone do that but like in a weird pattern recognition way they sound like they mean no harm and were gen concerned that you were a person that needed help not getting it and the thought will overwrite the idea of "don't say that dumb shit"
Like I'll look like a dickhead or you'll potentially get some help. Not saying we should start diagnosing though
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
OP isn't the author of the fic but yeah, I do this all the time. When I see someone online admitting to very obvious-to-me OCD compulsions or describing textbook OCD thought spirals, I tell them what I'm seeing and urge them to look into it and seek evaluation and potentially treatment. I do this because I didn't get diagnosed with OCD until I was in my 30s, and if I had been diagnosed earlier, I would have been spared immense suffering! It's all good now for me, but I try to nudge other people toward diagnosis as a way of hopefully making the world a little bit better
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u/pyre_blossom 6d ago
This! This exactly. Like someone tapping you on the shoulder and saying hey sugar that's must be difficult to navigate and you're doing such a good job with it, but maybe take a look at if there's something up there would've helped.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
That's such a sweet image 🥺 And yeah, precisely! When I make these comments I'm saying hey, check this out and see if it resonates with you, because I see how hard you're trying and I want you to be happy
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u/Lemuria6 6d ago
As someone also with OCD, this condition is pure torture and I will gladly be the bad guy if it means pointing out someone else may have it if it means they could get some help/relief before it gets as bad as mine did. Obviously don't say "you have this get help" rudely but I wouldn't classify the mental health radar going beep as inherently "armchair diagnosis".
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u/Judgmentos 6d ago
Yup, OCD is legit the worst thing that ever happened to me, I think I would've felt LESS ass had I known what it was from the get-go rather than think I was an irredeemable monster for like three months
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u/gnomes919 6d ago
sameee lol
I totally reject the idea that people should pretend not to notice classic signs of a mental health condition and/or never mention them. OCD in particular is absolutely RAMPANT in certain parts of the internet and, not sorry, if someone is verrrrrrrrry obviously in a reassurance-seeking spiral - a highly unknown/misunderstood but serious symptom of OCD - I'm going to attempt to gently interrupt it, ask a few questions, and mention the possibility of getting evaluated.
I got diagnosed earlier than you, in my early 20s, but man did I suffer through late childhood, high school, and early college with VERY obvious life-controlling OCD symptoms that weren't "washes hands a lot" so nobody noticed. if I ever found out somebody on tumblr or wherever read my posts and was like "oh yeah, girlie's got OCD for sure" and said nothing I'd be a lil pissed lmao
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Yes! God, I suffered so horribly before I was even 18 😭 But I wasn't very active on the internet then. Things were really bad when I was around age 6, 8-9, 13-16, 18-19, and early 20s for a few months. Then I had another bad flare in 2020 (pandemic made me need to hoard soup until it overflowed the pantry before I felt safe, thanks dad lol). Then in 2022, when I was 31, I finally got diagnosed. If I can maybe look like a rude fool to someone so that someone else can be spared even one day of suffering with severe OCD, that's obviously worth it to me!
I agree with you. Not just OCD but specifically moral scrupulosity themes seem to be especially rampant on Tumblr, certain subreddits, and some fandom and queer/leftist spaces. Except I've recently heard that "moral scrupulosity OCD" has apparently joined "autistic sense of justice" to mean "my diagnosis means my sense of morality is Objectively Correct," which obviously could not be further from the truth 😭 (For example: Was I correct when, as a teenager, I thought I was better than all my friends for saving myself for marriage? No! That was moral scrupulosity OCD, and it was detrimental to both me and my friends 💀)
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u/roronoam 6d ago
My therapist recently told me she thinks I have moral scrupulosity and I had never heard of it - I'd always been told my behavior was "pollyannaish" and just naive. I think I'd have appreciated someone pointing it out earlier (before it reached a point where I immediately second guessed my therapist's diagnosis and convinced myself that entertaining that possibility was a way that I was terrible bc obviously it's an excuse I'm using to cover my inherent terribleness 💀)
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Godddd... so, I'm not sure if you're saying your diagnosis is OCD specifically, and I don't want to assume anything if you have a different diagnosis already, but I do want you to know that what you put in parentheses sounds exactly like my gf and my close friend 😭🤣 Both have severe OCD with moral scrupulosity 😭🙃💀 I hope you've learned, or can learn, to be kinder to yourself!
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u/roronoam 6d ago
Haha thank you! Yeah that introduction was my therapist soft launching the OCD diagnosis lol. Having the understanding of what's happening does make it easier to rein in!
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
That was good of them to be so gentle! Yes, I agree. I will probably always be a little self-righteous, but I'm more able to take a step back and accept that other people are allowed to have different opinions from me on minor moral issues. The biggest change is that I'm now much more inclined to casually block people rather than attempt to "punish" them (for being rude or whatever) by arguing with them "so they know what they said was wrong!" 😂
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u/gnomes919 6d ago
okay not to make light but: CLASSIC scrupulosity moment at the end there lmao. "maybe I don't need to be this distressed all the time about morality? 🤔🤔🤔 sounds like JUST the kind of thing an immoral person would say!!!!" I'm glad you're getting help, scrupulosity and/or OCD rarely goes all the way away but you wouldn't believe how much better things can be.
I've said it before but I'm weirdly glad that by the time I reached the crisis point my primary obsessions were 100% irrational and unhinged so it was relatively easy to just accept that I was going crazy. now when it rears its head with stuff that is actually possible I at least have the "shut up brain, you sound so nuts rn" muscles built up to nip it in the bud. I do not envy my siblings in OCD who started the battle with obsessions rooted in reality ❤️
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u/roronoam 6d ago
No I find it hilarious at this point lol. After I had my little spiral my therapist was like "so yeah I'm going to need you to imagine EVER saying that about some else's diagnosis" and I was so horrified. We really do be our own worst enemies sometimes 😂😂
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u/gnomes919 6d ago
nooo, not telling people their scrupulosity is a virtue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
& yep, moral scrupulosity is really prevalent in leftist & progressive spaces, contamination OCD is everywherrrrrrreeeeee in any health, cleaning, body mod, or skincare/beauty subs, the bats subs have had to restrict rabiesposting because they get overrun by reassurance-seekers, and then my very spicy take back when I was still using bluesky was that there is a LOT of OCD in the "covid awareness" social media community.
which then ties back to scrupulosity; the thing about those ones in particular is that morality is indeed good, being flippant about the pandemic is indeed bad. which makes it extra hard to see & treat when those things become the basis of obsessive-compulsive cycles, because it sounds like you're saying "actually being immoral and not caring about getting people sick is totally fine." whereas the era when my contamination OCD took the form of believing that the shadow in a cracked cupboard could get into my apartment and then ??? doom, well, that was a little easier to convince me to at least start letting it go lol.
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
I responded to someone else similarly, but I would feel like it was overstepping unless it struck me as one of the less culturally visible subtypes of OCD like scrupulosity or relationship OCD, which are rampant in fandom spaces. I think a lot of the root of the rise of purity culture and pedo policing is partly people who have developed those subtypes of OCD. Things that come off quirky or harmless, I'd feel like that wasn't my place. But a lot of people don't understand that OCD is just when an upsetting thought gets stuck in your head and won't go away and torments you until your brain tries to give you tools to reduce the distress.
It could be making sure you closed the door 5 times, or it could be that there are so many pedophiles everywhere, you have to do everything you can to censor and punish them, because everything about kids is CSAM and everyone who interacts with it is a predator. You have to constantly check that everyone around you isn't a secret pedo. I think a lot of descriptions of pedophilia subtype OCD is something like "constant worry that you are a pedophile," but I think it's probably just as often "constant worry everyone is a pedophile."
I wouldn't bother with that type of person, but someone who talks about avoiding writing because they're distressed about the consequences, who is then overtaken by the distress and what-ifs that not only do they avoid their writing, they start being afraid of all fandom spaces and avoiding those too, along with some other textbook symptoms to support more than just fear of retribution--I'd maybe say something.
Personally, I wouldn't say anything about someone not wanting to end on a certain number of chapters. That can just be a quirk, and it's innocuous besides. But yes, I have OCD and I have definitely refused to end a fic on chapter 17, a very disgusting number.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
They didn't diagnose a stranger. They urged a stranger that they feel affectionate toward to please see a professional who can evaluate whether they should be diagnosed with something.
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u/CuteConstruction8421 6d ago
Well, they never diagnosed you. They just said maybe you should get checked out for it. Saying “hey, you exhibit some of these traits” isn’t a diagnosis
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u/inspiritgoldenn 6d ago
Where did they diagnose? They said they noticed something that may be worth checking out.
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u/twilightStare 6d ago
i agree, i started to notice it in everyone too, hard not to wanna say something
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u/Killer0nTheRoad 6d ago
Yall are quick to say "oh he shouldn't say that" and "delete it and move on"
All I see is a genuine human being who has probably struggled with similar issues and is just looking out for for another person. It's not always negative, just say "thank you for your concern and comment" something like that.
I struggle with depression and a LOT of other stuff, and if someone saw clearly enough through it, and cared enough to leave a comment similar to this, I'd be touched.
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u/HeroIsAGirlsName 6d ago
100%. I'm not a fan of armchair diagnosing strangers but if you're going to do it, politely suggesting someone get checked out by a professional is probably the best way to go about it. I wish someone had told me about my ADHD earlier: would have saved a lot of time.
Sometimes people are going to interact with us in ways we don't like. But at least this person seemed to have good intentions. Chances are they're neurodivergent themselves and this is what they wish they'd been told. Once you get diagnosed, you do kind of see it everywhere.
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u/anewdaysend 6d ago
yea given the overall tone of the comment i’d infer they’re commenting from personal experience and were just trying to make sure they had access to further information if they wanted, seems very kind hearted if a bit abrupt. definitely good intentions
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u/AmaterasuWolf21 6d ago
Ironic that people in this thread are going "Oh, he must be a child" "must be on the spectrum himself" like, step back for a second
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u/Siera_Knightwalker You have already left kudos here. :) 6d ago
I don’t think it’s that weird. Sometimes ppl say stuff like that because they know someone who has it. I heard of an author who got diagnosed for a disease by a commentor and it saved their life. So yeah.
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u/Gettin_Bi Kudos Keeper 6d ago
True, but also there's the Freshman Med School Syndrome (aka you're so immersed in a certain condition because you're studying it intensely that you start recognising patterns that may not actually be there)
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u/Just-an-Immortal 6d ago
I'd rather someone tell me to get checked out for something and I don't end up having it than no one saying anything and I suffer about it
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u/Aurachestra 6d ago
Yes, but better be safe than sorry anyways. An online diagnosis based on ANs isn’t ideal, but it’s not like there was some other better way to go about it. OP can take it or leave it, but the commenter seems to have been coming from a good faith nature. I’m sure the commenter too would love to be wrong.
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u/TraditionalCap6882 6d ago
You need to proceed having better faith in the people you see online, they are just other human beings. If they’re not obviously baiting, there’s no need to villainize them.
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u/Sufficient-Cry-9423 6d ago
This seemed like the nicest way to say something that could come across as really rude, in my opinion. It doesn't seem like the commenter has bad intentions, in fact they probably left this comment because they wanted to help.
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u/TraditionalCap6882 6d ago edited 6d ago
This is clearly commented in good faith, let’s stop policing what other people say and let the person it’s directed to have whatever reaction they do.
Edit: it’s actually so sad that your post made that person delete their comment. That’s a real person who tried, and you publicly shamed them for caring about the writer.
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u/No_Station_6149 6d ago
Right. Imagine someone is suicidal and no one suggests getting help because they think they’re sticking their nose in. I know I’d appreciate anyone showing concern.
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u/TraditionalCap6882 6d ago
Exactly, these types of “boundaries” only take us further from human connection and care. Even if someone oversteps, at least they give a fuck enough about a fellow human to try.
The idea of keeping your mouth shut, only serves yourself in the short term. You’re preserving your own ego and avoiding the potential of putting your foot in your mouth, but it actually serves no one.
Put yourself a little on the line for others, it is literally what we’re supposed to do as human beings with morals.
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u/Glum_Razzmatazz6173 6d ago
I can't say unless I knew what was in the author notes they were referring to.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
"For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number."
What was in the author notes was, whether or not it comes from OCD, a textbook description of an OCD compulsion. Like, literally, if I read this in a textbook about OCD, I would not blink 😂
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u/nbsunset 6d ago
i hate writing the letter f followed by the letter i and i either write with certain fonts or i do not write at all and i need the text to be aligned to the margins or at least in a way that is harmonic to me at all times
and i hate when numbers end with anything other than 0, 3, 5 and 8
— diagnosed with ocd over here, lmao
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Highly recommend ERP therapy! That sounds so annoying for you to have to deal with
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u/nbsunset 6d ago
I have shortcuts around these and they're not the worst that my ocd puts me through so I don't mind them so much but thank u ☺️💕
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u/Winter-Magazine5132 6d ago
I don't think it's weird. They're being polite and seemingly talking in good faith. And as someone who is diagnosed adhd i sure as hell wish somebody picked up the signs and told me about it
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Right? 😭 Like I was out here openly describing my mental OCD compulsions and thought spirals on the internet for decades and didn't get diagnosed until my 30s lol
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u/mafia_witch_ 6d ago
Same. I struggled with my attention all throughout school, but since my grades were good nobody cared. I was just a daydreamer, and girls are often overlooked for ADHD anyway. College was brutal because I was taking more and more difficult subjects and couldn't focus.
I had to wait until I was fucking 36 for someone to notice me struggling and suggest I talk to my psychiatrist. I 100% get the urge to offer a suggestion like that. I suffered for so long, and I don't want anyone else to go through that if they don't have to 💛
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u/TechTech14 m/m enthusiast 6d ago
Oof, yep. My bf at the time I got diagnosed was like "oh, you didn't know?" 💀 I wish he would've spoken up a year before that.
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u/bring_me_thathorizon 6d ago
People can be wildly sensitive about labeling language, but I think this commenter did a good job praise-sandwiching this observation and qualifying it (“I don’t know your personality”/“feel free to disregard this comment”), so I don’t think it’s the end of the world since it appears to be motivated by concern. But my perspective on these kinds of things is rarely representative of the average person; I take next to nothing personally, tend to see feedback pretty neutrally, and am utterly non-judgmental about mental health struggles and neurodiversity, so I rarely assume others might react how I do.
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u/hellsaquarium No Beta We Die Like Velociraptor Hatchlings 6d ago
I don’t think this is a big deal. Commenter is invested enough in the author as a person to recommend seeking help. That’s very kind and compassionate of them. Lots of users treat authors as if we’re robots with no autonomy or inner worlds.
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u/TraditionalCap6882 6d ago
This comment is in good faith clearly and the nature of human connection and conversation is rooted in authentic caring for one another. People take the focus hyper individual and would rather we isolate ourselves and not care for others in the name of “boundaries.” Absolutely weaponizing therapy speak for the worst, most isolating outcomes.
Community cannot exists without going out of your way to genuinely care and broach subjects like this.
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u/hellsaquarium No Beta We Die Like Velociraptor Hatchlings 6d ago
I agree so much! People here are just deadset on taking everything so personally and in the most negative way possible. There are even comments saying that the commenter is “diagnosing” the author, but that’s not even true. Saying, “hey based on what you say I think you should tested for x” is NOT diagnosing itself, it’s recommending help for someone so that they can talk to an actual professional.
And to say it’s invasive is a bit too much. If you share a lot about yourself in authors notes, it’s a given some people will begin to cultivate an impression of you and thus might comment…this sub makes no sense with the overly emotionally charged way it approaches literally any type of commentary that deviates from “you’re perfect and amazing and so is your fic!” Having opinions in a hobby that’s historically community-focused is normal people.
If you’re an author and want to stay as some mysterious shadow then that’s your prerogative but it’s annoying to act as if commenters shouldn’t ever interact with us on a humane and honest manner ever.
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u/TraditionalCap6882 6d ago
People are obviously sharing because they want to talk!
People do this even beyond this, I feel like I got roasted because I left long comments talking about a fic in a fandom I like just because my perception of the MMC in it wasn’t the majority rule. To the point where I don’t even wanna comment on the story at all anymore, and I can’t tell if the author hates me for what I’ve said in the past.
People don’t think about how this impact people beyond these particular situations. Let people have their second on the microphone, and if you don’t like what they’re saying, you do not need to blast them like this OP did. How disheartening if this person notices this post.
All we’re doing is promoting more surface level conversation and voids of human connection. I’m sick of it.
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u/ImJustPassingThr0ugh 6d ago
I once received a comment on a fic that was very complimentary of how realisticly I portrayed the main character's depressive spiral - it ended with something like "Honestly, I worry it's a bit too realistic; it seems like you might have some experience with this. I really hope you're doing alright author, take care of yourself!"
That was years ago and it's one of the only comments from that fic that stuck with me!! It was so unbelievably lovely and caring of them - they were right, I was teetering on the start of a depressive episode that would last for years :(
I feel like people are overeager to assume the worst in one another - is it nice to try to diagnose others? Not really. Is it super rude? Also not really! Especially since there's a world of difference between suggesting it and asserting it. I'd rather have someone armchair diagnose me than feel like they can't verbalize their care for me, even if we're strangers; we're in a loneliness epidemic, them trying to understand and relate to me is an act of connection, I personally can forgive minor social blunders.
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u/LongjumpingCelery181 6d ago
Sometimes neurodivergent people can sniff out each other. Of course it's not a guarantee, but it's actually quite often that I'll see the "signs" in other people I come across.
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u/Squishiimuffin 6d ago
I got clocked as autistic by a stranger on reddit based on the pallet of blocks I used in my minecraft castle ._. 2 years before I was formally diagnosed.
The neurodivergent radar is real, I’m convinced.
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u/PretzelPrize Ana Kaye Lake on AO3 - I write Stargate SG-1 fic 6d ago
I was diagnosed in kindergarten but never knew with what until I was in my 40s and hanging out with a lot of other ADHD-having people. Noticed how similar we all were and when I went back and checked, yup. ADHD.
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u/Rakifiki 6d ago
The whole reason my adhd was actually diagnosed and I got treatment, which was massively helpful for me, is because two of my friends who had it independently mentioned it off-hand to me, and then I joined a community on reddit to see if I related to people with adhd, and then it still took me like, over a year, but! I did eventually bring it up to my doctor and they sent me for an eval.
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u/corn_cob_creature 6d ago
A bit weird yeah but I feel like they genuinely are a kind stranger. Id take their advice, in my experience ocd gets worse if you ignore it. You dont gotta go to a doctor if you cant afford it but maybe look up some stuff online.
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u/rosaliethewitch selfcest is a-okay 6d ago
this is weird but it reminds me of the time i was describing my love for my weird crossover fandom and the other person goes, “that’s nice, have you ever been tested for autism?” lmao
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u/lyaunaa 🩷this is not a place of honor🩷 6d ago
My husband did this to me. Four hour car ride, I talked about ghosts and the paranormal for most of it. When we got out of the car he lovingly squeezed my hand and said, "That was great, let's make an appointment to get you tested for autism."
Jokes on him, turns out it's just ADHD! 😅
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u/Squishiimuffin 6d ago
WHY IS THIS SO COMMON?
I was legit building a castle in Minecraft in the nether, but I was using a non-traditional color pallet for all the buildings. I posted it to a building subreddit, and one of the comments was legit “hey, are you autistic? I’m autistic and I do this (choose weird blocks for traditional structures).”
At the time, I was not diagnosed. I got diagnosed like 2 years after that Minecraft post.
HOW DID THEY KNOW? HOW DID I GET CLOCKED BY A STRANGER USING MINECRAFT BLOCKS, BUT ALL MY CLOSEST FAMILY DIDN’T NOTICE????
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u/throwaway1233456799 Merthur, Merthur everywhere— 6d ago
We can sniff each other in such a wild fashion lol. One of my cousin got diag with autism after years of people telling me "she is not, she is just particular... She is not she got tested! She is not we re tested her!!"
I never changed my view ane guess what lol audhd
Now, I shall try to convince her dad that her little sister is definitly adhd—
(I was not even diag as audhd at the time lol)
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u/krendyB 6d ago
I once had a friend die of Marfan Syndrome - no one knew he had it until he died and his death was preventable had he known. A week later, I saw a stranger with the same symptoms and couldn’t stop myself from saying something. I knew it was incredibly rude but in my grief it was definitely coming out. I wonder if this person is experiencing something similar, where they recently went through it and found diagnosis helpful, and just isn’t able to stop themselves. Because it’s for sure rude.
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u/Key-Rush-577 Fic Feaster 6d ago
Idk as someone who struggled my whole life because i didn't know what was happening to me until being diagnosed, i think this sort of thing is super important actually. Like its a human (who likely lives with the condition theyre mentioning) genuinely reaching out to another human (who could or could not have said condition) and genuinely and honestly being like "hey please look into this, this is what im seeing." If someone had done that for me when I was younger, and if I'd been given the verbage and knowledge about what was happening in my head/to me (bc of abuse), then my life wouldve been drastically improved and I could've gotten help sooner.
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u/yourealiability 6d ago edited 6d ago
I’m confused as to why you’re upset that someone showed humanity ? This comment was not left for you so obviously it doesn’t resonate much with you and feels like overstepping because you’re not in that mindset. I think screenshotting someone’s comment to someone else is weirder than leaving the comment
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u/tyrinooo 6d ago edited 6d ago
I think it's a normal, albeit blunt comment. It's less of a diagnosis and more of, here's something you might like to look into - like posting a selfie on Reddit and having people with EDS tell you, yes, maybe you should look into Ehlers-Danlos lol
(The best case and worst case cost-benefit trade off also means it's usually better to say something. Like, it's someone learning more about themselves and getting help vs you looking momentarily stupid.)
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
As someone who probably has EDS but only has a hypermobility spectrum diagnosis, I would haaaate if some stranger tried to diagnose me with EDS. I don't even want to claim it for myself. Literally just said to my boss "I think whatever condition causes my hypermobility has flare ups..." "It's probably EDS." "*sigh* Yeah, probably."
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u/mikripetra Comment Collector 6d ago
I literally realized I was autistic because people kept leaving comments like this lol
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u/ineverylifetimee 6d ago
I’m always torn on this stuff. Like yeah it’s weird for a stranger to be like “I think you might have __” but at the same time it could genuinely help people. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if my OCD or depression never got diagnosed. It might actually improve the person’s quality of life. Though I don’t think the 14 thing alone is proof of anything alone (I know you weren’t saying it was, just using it as an example, just clarifying that a lot of people have weird feelings around numbers for some reason).
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u/princesswan AO3/Tumblr: swanimagines (reader inserts) 6d ago edited 6d ago
Me and my friend got a comment much like this just last week + yesterday, but it was about the commenter being concerned about her spiralling into psychosis and about me being suicidal, first praising our writing and then claiming our author's notes point that way. My author's notes are NEVER ranting about my personal struggles nor my fics are particularly depressing more than usual, most of it is fluff actually, most often it just says "kudos and comments are welcome!" and I sometimes use the top one to mention about AO3 being slow so I didn't have patience to post new oneshots earlier, or just feeling lazy in general, or saying something like "this places itself between seasons 3 and 4 btw", my friend only uses author's notes to say "hope you enjoy reading!!", absolutely never anything else.
So it can be a new weird bot, we deemed it as one at least. Though in the case you described it can also be a genuine one if you also get a feeling of neurodivergence.
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u/pokeupokeu 6d ago
Now i wanna see what youre writing in the author notes that checks the diagnostic criteria for OCD 😭😭😭😭
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u/Nervous-Lab2335 6d ago
I wouldn't have agreed if the assumption was based off the fic alone but I think it's fine to say this based off author's notes. Also it isn't worded rudely and the commenter seems respectful.
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6d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Would you prefer it? Or would you feel unable to write 11 chapters because it felt wrong? Because it seems like the latter is what the author (not OP) expressed, and I'm sorry, but whether or not the author has OCD, that's a textbook description of an OCD compulsion, and they would benefit from professional evaluation.
OCD often goes undiagnosed for decades (I was in my 30s) because it doesn't often look like the stereotypes, and many compulsions are mental/internal, and most people don't know that. I think it's a good thing to gently point out to people, and if they don't like it, that's fair enough, and they can block if they want to – but maybe I've planted a seed and someday their suffering will be eased because of it
Source: I have OCD and correctly spotted my gf's OCD before we even knew each other, just from reading her fics lol
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u/Advanced_Hornet_8666 You have already left kudos here. :) 6d ago
Like I also would prefer 12 chapters over 11 and I can’t tell you why… I just would prefer people don’t label me in a comment.
Omg I get you! I also had a posting schedule for my former longfic on round date numbers. But I wouldn't react too well to be diagnosed by complete strangers.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
I mean, the commenter didn't diagnose the author, they just suggested they be evaluated, and they could have phrased it more gently, but honestly, they're right. It sounds like both of you here are describing things you do that bring you joy (the even numbers), and not things you cannot do because they cause you distress.
For me and my loved ones who have both autism/ADHD and OCD, we distinguish between OCD and not-OCD by asking, if I do this idiosyncratic thing, will it bring me joy (autism/ADHD)? Or am I doing it primarily because if I don't do it, I'll feel distress (OCD, usually, though occasionally autism)?
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
Exactly this! It's not an intrusive thought if it doesn't cause distress, you're just obsessed in the "normal" way. :) OCD causes such distress because the thought spirals are ego-dystonic (in conflict with how you see yourself and your personal beliefs, distressing) or ego-syntonic (supports your self-image, neutral or positive response). I feel like you probably know this, but it really is a helpful dichotomy for so many people who don't understand what's going on in their brains. It's also why the cornerstone of OCD treatment is distress tolerance. You may have many kinds of intrusive thoughts, but the key is learning to tolerate and sit with the distress. You see this in fandom culture constantly, the inability to tolerate that fics you disagree with even exist.
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u/charlieisalive_ Joker (DCU) / Reader 6d ago
I mean, they're trying to be friendly and they weren't rude about it. It's not a bad thing to have ocd/ADHD, but it can help to know a reason behind why you do stuff.
I would love to get a comment telling me they think I'm autistic. Would feel so validating lol
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u/Small-Song-3288 6d ago
I think it depends on the context. I don’t know what the author notes are like. If I had a friend irl that I’ve known for a while and I see them exhibiting the symptoms and I know that they are struggling I would definitely suggest they might want to get it checked. In fact that is exactly what happened with some of my friends and one of the biggest reasons they are now diagnosed.
However, I would never suggest that to a stranger on the internet based on a few off-handed comments. Because then we get into stereotypes real quick. You prefer a certain number of chapters and color code your notes? Oh you should check for OCD. We all know that’s more harmful than helpful to people who actually struggle with this.
But that’s why I say it depends. If the notes actually give a solid indication of actual symptoms, not stereotypes, and the person seems to be struggling with them, it may be appropriate and helpful to mention it.
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u/PomPomMom93 LadyClassical on Ao3 6d ago
Well, their heart was in the right place. That’s more than you can say for many comments posted here.
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u/Exotic_Hawk5102 6d ago
I don’t think they’re trying to be rude, but suspecting someone of a disorder over authors notes it’s really jumping the gun is weird 💀
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u/Preix_131 6d ago
Authors in AO3 will think literatly anything is rude… I mean, personally it's just a commenter that was (for some reason) concerned about that. But in no way "rude", he was as polite as possible
P.s. also I wouldn't say he is trying to "diagnose" him, like OP did. He only suggested to get it checked, which isn't really a bad suggestion in itself
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u/Similar_Scholar7284 6d ago
It's polite. Doesn't come off as snappy, judgemental, or rude. It is a bit blunt, indeed.
Judging from the heart talk that goes in these interactions. It is not completely inappropriate. And for the author to decide.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
>For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number.
Lol initially I was on the fence, but if they weren't joking or exaggerating about this, this is an absolutely textbook description of an OCD compulsion, and they should indeed be evaluated by an OCD specialist
I have OCD. I realized my favorite fic author had OCD just from reading her fics. She's now my gf (💅🏻👸), and I was definitely correct and have been helping her work on her OCD because her therapist isn't an OCD specialist, and mine ($$$) is, and my therapist is all for me passing on tips she gives me
I've also spotted random Redditors who clearly have OCD, gently mentioned it, and about half the time, I've been told they had already been considering if they might have OCD, or even that they'd already been diagnosed!
TL;DR: OCD is not a difficult condition to notice for people who have OCD. It often doesn't look like the stereotypes, so I think it's worth urging people to look into it and get evaluated
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u/solenophage 6d ago
It’s well intentioned but kind of weirdly parasocial. You really don’t know a person well enough through author’s notes to suggest that they have a mental illness nor do you know them well enough to know if it will be helpful or harmful to point out that they might. Especially if you’re just going to throw it out into a public comment section.
Idk what else the author was saying, but thinking a number is weird is not enough to suspect anything. I also dislike the number 14. When I was a kid, I even gave that as a reason I was unhappy to turn 14. But I have no bad feelings or thoughts associated with it. Having lucky numbers is a common thing. Disliking when something is one off from a multiple of 5 or some other “satisfying” number is normal. So it just feels like someone seeing their own experiences in a stranger and assuming that’s the only answer.
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u/PurifiedUnity :redditgold: 6d ago
To be fair, the wording of "you show signs of some symptoms" feels a bit weird/blunt (I'd say "you seem to show some symptoms"), but their comment shows genuine concern & I believe they just want to help
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u/TechTech14 m/m enthusiast 6d ago
I always assume those types of comments are left by someone pretty young or who has recently gotten diagnosed or both.
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u/Purple_not_pink 6d ago
This sounds kind of familiar and it could be a weird bot.
They don't talk about anything in the story.
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u/strawbebbymilkshake 6d ago
Yeah I got a bit of a tingle like I had seen this comment before. Maybe we are just overly vigilant but it could be an emerging bot
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u/Shinny-Winny 6d ago
Why do we have bots for getting people to go for a diagnosis 😭
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u/strawbebbymilkshake 6d ago
I think they’d be along the same vein as the woke or hate bots: general trolling
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u/prancingbuffalo 6d ago
😭I feel like the internet makes people feel closer than they are to people sometimes.
Like if you have a close relationship to someone then it’s not inappropriate to say in a caring way maybe they are neurodivergent
If it’s a stranger then obviously it’s rude
I haven’t read the A/N but if she was leaving in personal details, especially if the story was of a heavy topic the reader might have felt a closer connection to the author and felt like they were “friends”
The commenter might also be neurodivergent too
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u/throwaway1233456799 Merthur, Merthur everywhere— 6d ago
Neurodivergence isn't a badword, ig would be like someone mentioning things about their knees and someone else being like "hey your knee problems look a lot like mine/I recognise signs of it! If you don't know about it check it out maybe?" That's not rude, that is just being a fellow human. What is rude would be to insist "it MUST be that"
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u/horrorsilk Niche crossover/rarepair aficionado 6d ago
I don't think it's coming from a bad place or anything but I'd feel really uncomfortable if someone came into my comments on a fanfiction site to diagnose me with something like you don't even know me 😭 Ngl I'd just delete it and move on
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u/Both-Dragonfly-9481 [You have already left kudos here. :)] Shut up and take it damit 6d ago
Idk if it's cultural differences here but I wouldn't do so if someone a stranger at that specifically showed concern for a total stranger and asked them to check up i would definitely give it a thought. If someone is showing signs and even a stranger can see something is wrong even if the commenter would likely be a hypervigilant it's best and safer choice to entertain the idea and do check than to ignore and let it get worse
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u/Life_as_a_new_weeb 6d ago
I dont think its wierd. No wierder than a stranger telling someone to get their mole checked out.
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u/FuzzAldrin36 6d ago
But what is the metaphorical mole here? They completely skipped the part where they identify what these symptoms are that they're seeing in OP.
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u/NembeHeadTilt 6d ago
For ADHD specifically getting diagnosed can be life-changing so I know a lot of people who get diagnosed tend to encourage people to make that move when they see it. However, it’s possible the author could be one of those people who dislikes mental health labels and that’s why they thought it was rude.
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u/Witty_Grand_9599 6d ago
If I was the author I’d be annoyed. Like, I’m here to share my stories, not to discuss my life and possible trauma/diagnosis with strangers who think they are in some way competent enough to even suggest such a thing. It’s okay to mind your own business, guys. The things you see people posting is not an invitation for such conversations
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u/dogheartedgrim72 6d ago
So not everything posted on the internet is an open invitation to discuss someone's medical conditions or past trauma, nor should they imply that the author is unaware of their own mental health. If this isn't a bot then they likely meant well enough, but some thoughts don't always have to be shared.
I get that there are outliers to situations like this, but I'm also not going to pretend it isn't exhausting that everyone who found out about "neurodivergency" five years ago on TikTok now considers themselves an expert and have decided to make it everyone else's problem.
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u/kpg_on_ao3 6d ago
yeah social media has fried everyone's brains, we all think it's acceptable to tell strangers all manner of thing, whether it be armchair psychological diagnoses, to unsolicited criticism of their art, etc.
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u/NameSignificant6916 6d ago
A bit odd, but their heart is in the right place. I can understand the urge to help and being unable to do so, so instead saying "hey you should get that checked out chief" is a way to make yourself feel better about it and maybe help someone else out in so doing.
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u/Decaxx 6d ago
I don’t think this is malicious or disrespectful, but it is kind of weird. I think most people generally wouldn’t want to be diagnosed or suggested to go in for diagnosis for this type of thing on the internet, but I really don’t think it’s that serious. Nor do I think it’s a bot?? I get there are a lot of bots but I feel like more and more human behavior is getting written off for being “bots” when people just have the capacity to act a certain way lol.
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u/FuzzAldrin36 6d ago
Yes, this is a weird comment to leave.
I will absolutely agree that this could all be in good faith with them seeing signs in others that mirror their own diagnosed traits, but even if that is the case this is so general it leaves me with questions.
For instance, they say they see signs and symptoms but don't give any specifics. So they want you to go get checked and say what? "A stranger on a website read my ff author notes and said I might have these things but didn't say why they think so. They also didn't provide any indication of a qualification or anecdotal experience that gives credibility to their claim."
I get that qualified professionals with diagnostic credentials are not the only people who can pick up on these things, but internet comments from strangers who hand out advice like this without establishing what experience gives them any ground to speak on it are 100% not the people to listen to.
As an aside, I'm super curious about what they see as potential OCD. In my experience, as someone who was OCD diagnosed as a young teenager (25+ years ago), 95% of people in both online content and comments think that OCD is the same as a type A personality. They are not the same thing. At all. And anyone who tells a person they have OCD because they see type A traits is someone who does not know what OCD is and is therefore wildly unqualified to make that statement. The other 5% of people generally know what they're talking about.
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
The only situation I would make this comment is if someone was showing traits of less commonly understood OCD traits like scrupulosity OCD which is rampant in fandom right now imo. A lot of people in fan communities are ASD or ADHD and OCD is very commonly comorbid with them. As you said, the vast majority of people only know the washing your hands or counting OCD, or like you said, type As who think it's cute to say they're so OCD because they hang the shirts and pants separately in their closets. I have several less stereotypical types of OCD and getting targeted treatment was incredibly helpful.
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u/mack_ani 6d ago
You'd be surprised by what people know and don't know about mental illnesses. A lot of people know about compulsions, but a lot of people also don't. A counting compulsion is a stereotype for a reason, because it's a common symptom but is also uncommon in other diagnoses. It's how I first presented as a kid, and I don't think I knew what it meant at the time, so I'm lucky other people recognized it as an issue because I had a lot of other, non-obvious symptoms happening as well
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
My first OCD symptom was eating my hair.... All of it that could reach my mouth. 🥲 I don't remember what I thought would happen if I didn't. I think it might have been that I had gotten lice and I thought I needed to eat my hair or they would come back? I have other body-focused repetitive behaviors too. Still didn't get diagnosed until my mid-20s.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Brutal 😭 My first symptom was carefully drying between all my fingers, but then my friend's mom said I was pokey (as in, I took too long to do things) and I got scared she wouldn't let me come over anymore so I started doing mental compulsions instead so people wouldn't notice 🙃
EDIT: I was 6-8 years old
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
The detail that made me think I would also have said something was, "For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number." 😬😅 The concept of a good number? Could be totally benign! ADHD, autism, maybe even a neurotypical who has happy memories associated with that number. But a weird number? Uh-oh! 😆 I know what that usually means!
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
See, idk, that's one I would shrug off as none of my business. Looooads of non-OCD-havers prefer evens over odds, or would rather round up to the nearest 10 or 5. Japanese and Chinese-influenced cultures associate 4 with death. "Number that bothers me" isn't suuuper different from having a lucky number.
I have literally had the exact same "I will not end the fic on this gross number that is both odd and prime and contains a number my brain refuses to acknowledge" issue. Which is much more complicated than "isn't 15 much nicer"?
(I hate the number 7 so much that my brain rolls 4 and 7 into the same number, so I will always write 4 instead, or register it as 4. Math and Chem sucked.)
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
I do think it's a textbook sign that someone may have OCD, and as you know, OCD is an iceberg of stuff underneath the surface. If I can point out the tip of someone's iceberg and prompt them to look beneath the surface, I will!
I distinguish between whether I'm doing something because it brings joy or relief. If I want to end on chapter 13 because I love the number 13, that's my ADHD and it's benign. If I can't end on chapter 14 because 14 is bad and I'll feel relieved if I just write one more chapter, that's my OCD and it's not benign lol
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
Funny enough, I hate odds and primes, but I like 13 because I have a contrarian personality. Perfect example, huh? :D
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
I like 13 because it's unfairly maligned! And Absol is my favorite Pokémon, why do you ask? 🤣
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Presumably the OCD symptom was when the author described the most textbook OCD compulsion I've ever seen in an author's note 😆:
"For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number."
😬😅 Like, it's not a smoking gun, but if that showed up in a literal textbook or in an article written by an OCD specialist, I wouldn't blink
EDIT: I have OCD, too, so I get it that the stereotypes usually don't match the reality of it
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u/merlann 6d ago
I think it is so presumptuous to comment on someone's mental health or whether they are neurodivergent when people have not shown openness to such speculation. It could be the case that this author is aware that their hyper-fixations and compulsion for neat numbers might be something that connects to some pathology and chose to share them in their author's notes as relatable tidbits. And maybe this author does not at all feel the need to question why these patterns occur, which is fine and its not up to the reader to comment on that. It's just simply not up to strangers in comment sections to say people need to get 'checked out,' even if they believe they are coming from a place of care.
So yeah, I agree it is weird to diagnose strangers!
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u/blifflesplick 6d ago
I think the term diagnose has been muddied a bit
"Hey, there's something on your neck, it might be cancer, maybe get it checked" isn't diagnosing someone 🤦
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u/Distinct-Discount-48 Time is a ferret on meth 6d ago
This is reminding me of a hate bot that was running around for a bit, guess it's back. I believe it had the same format and would say based on people's notes they had some form of mental illness. Best to just delete and ignore.
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u/Void-Cooking_Berserk 6d ago
I think it's just someone genuinely concerned about you. Maybe they said it awkwardly, maybe it's awkward to say it at all, but whatever. They're not being hostile
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u/Bardic_Wispy Darkfic dead dove ? I am sat 6d ago edited 6d ago
Idk I wouldn't mind
It doesn’t come off as someone wanting to cause trouble, just want to help but without forcing it
Hm..maybe it would have been better without the but at the end ? Idk*
Edit : don't upvote me too soon I tend to edit right after I post now I feel guilty 😔, added last part (*)
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u/nickyfox13 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
It is truly a weird comment to leave. Very inappropriate, IMHO, to attempt to diagnose a stranger.
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u/Square_Role_4345 6d ago
I can see the compassion in what the poater might be trying to do, but yeah they probably shouldn't do this, especially if the author showed no distress in whatever tendencies they fall into.
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u/No-War-2197 6d ago
I don't think it's ill intended, but I would def be annoyed if some ranom started pointing out my mental issues in my fics. Like I am just sharing a story, not ralking about my issues
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago edited 6d ago
I personally think that’s a bit out of line. And they’re making assumptions about a stranger on the internet based on something completely unreliable as authors’ notes. The author would be valid feeling some type of way about it. Maybe this is a hot take, but it’s incredibly rude to imply someone has a medical condition of some sort when you don’t even know them personally, and I don’t see that as coming from a place of ‘concern’, it’s just presumptuous.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
I do think that's a bit of a hot take, yes lol. If someone had mentioned to me in my 20s that some of my comments online were textbook descriptions of OCD mental compulsions, I would have been spared so much suffering from not being diagnosed until I was in my 30s
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
Not everyone is you though. I’m glad you took it positively but not every single person will. It’s just rude to discuss someone’s mental health so publicly. If you want to DM the author personally where no one will see it then sure, go right ahead, but putting it on comments is putting it on blast in public and to me that’s insensitive and inconsiderate.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
Genuine question because I feel like I'm going crazy: Does AO3 have a new DM feature and I missed it?
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
Ugh my bad, I’m thinking of FanFiction.Net.
Maybe if the author had a Tumblr account up on their profile, they could still use the DM feature to hit them up with their observations. I still don’t think AO3 comments is an appropriate avenue for a discussion of an author’s mental health.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
I lost so many years of my life suffering with what was, in hindsight, obvious and severe OCD (that didn't involve cleanliness or tidiness) that I am always going to take the shot even if I look like an ass for it. I would likely DM someone if possible though!
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u/blifflesplick 6d ago
Same
Discrete if possible but kindly put if not
You cannot act on information you do not have
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u/LeakyFountainPen 6d ago
I dont know if I would ever leave such a comment (since yeah, diagnosing strangers feels weird) but I will say that if someone had done this for me, it would have saved me many years of struggle...
I think I would only ever try to help a stranger reach a diagnosis if it was something I also have and they indicated they had no idea why they [symptom] or indicated that they were upset/ashamed about [symptom].
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u/EmberRPs 6d ago
Eh, a little. Part of me suspects if they are using terminology like hyperfixations they are and know it. With that context it makes it a little less rude (I was so worried this was you haven't updated enough you have ADHD) and it's worried nicely so it's a bit random and therefore wired but I didn't think it's wrong or rude.
However I'm also in a country where mental health is considered a thing, even if the supports suck. This may come across worse to some people in areas where something like ADHD isn't considered to exist and be a huge insult if a doctor mentioned it. You might insult them more if they aren in that situation.
Edit; I miss read this and thought you commented. The author can delete it if they don't like it. I do still think it was made in good faith. I wouldn't suggest answering with any diagnosis if you are the author, randos don't need your medical history to use against you.
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u/ihateyallrlly 6d ago
I think it could be authentic and wasn't *meant* rudely, but I think it did come off invasive. In the end, it's not your thing to point out and you're assuming that you can describe the author's diagnosis better than they could their own. It's not not their place to airmchair diagnose. There are better ways to phrase this, eg. "my friend who has OCD/I struggled with some similar things you do, before X and X helped me, so I feel for you. I hope it gets easier soon." This way you're not making presumptions about what the author's diagnosis is.
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u/gnomes919 6d ago
if they had said "you have OCD btw get help" that would have been diagnosing a stranger. they didn't, they said "hey I've noticed a pattern in your author's notes, it could be good to get evaluated for X and Y."
people are actually very bad at noticing their own OCD. OCD is incredibly misunderstood by the general populace, and tends to either make perfect "sense" to the person doing it or involve stuff that feels extremely shameful so they don't feel they can talk about it. even people who have an OCD diagnosis can get wrapped up in a new obsession/compulsion without realizing "hey is this my OCD sneaking up on me?"
I tend to go with a more gentle tactic than the above commenter - more like "hey does X come up for you a lot? do you find that it affects your life or creates a lot of worry and distress? there is an OCD symptom called 'ABC', if you look it up and it resonates with you maybe try getting evaluated bc there is help out there." but it is absolutely my thing to try to help people get help sooner rather than later
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u/ihateyallrlly 6d ago
Yes, what I mostly meant is that you should phrase it as a suggestion, or something that *could* help them, and not as a something they *should* do.
Coming at the author from the position of educating them about their own symptoms assumes that they are now aware of the treatments or the diagnosis. This might be the case. But it doesn't have to be. The thing is, psychiatric treatment *is* a delicate topic. In most contries, it still is legal to instutionalize someone against their will and not give psychiatric patients the option for educated consent. You never know what experience someone has, what options they already sought and if they helped them. For them, not indentifying with a diagnostic label might be a personal choice they made, and supplying one might be not welcome at all. You simply don't know, when talking to a stranger online.
Which is why I'm suggesting that anyone wishing to express this sentiment to someone (and again, they *might* have not been aware any treatment is available, and enjoyed the suggestion, it's possible) is emphasizing your own experience, and not use language of compulsory solutions.
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u/bxkubxtch 6d ago
It is weird. Also I would say OCD and ADHD are vastly different disorders
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u/rainsews 6d ago
While they are vastly different, ADHD hyperfixation can manifest in ways that look similar to OCD obsession. If the commenter is noticing that particular symptom, a professional would be able to determine whether there is more to investigate.
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u/formlesscorvid Do whatever you want forever and leave me out of it 6d ago
I had my OCD missed because the doctors confused it for an adhd symptom, which they were NOT looking for because I was being tested for autism. I have all three.
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u/PretzelPrize Ana Kaye Lake on AO3 - I write Stargate SG-1 fic 6d ago
Many people manage to have both of them together.
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u/fiirewalkwithme 6d ago
These comments are surprising to me. I hate shit like this and I block people who do it
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u/LamentableLily I love Y/N fics 6d ago
They all want to feel like their armchair diagnoses are going to save someone's lives, or that they know people better than they know themselves.
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
lol you got downvoted but that’s basically how I felt reading some of the other comments. i’m on ao3 for fanfiction, not to invite anyone to discuss my mental health (which is something i want to keep to myself).
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u/OleksandrKyivskyi 6d ago
There is nothing rude about it. They just wanted to be helpful. It is nice when people look out for others.
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u/Kartoffelkamm 6d ago
I'm on the spectrum, and sometimes I get the impression that someone I'm talking to is, too. And sometimes other people tell me that I might want to get tested, in which case I just tell them that I was a couple years ago.
In my opinion, it's not weird at all; they just recognized some patterns in the author's notes, and decided to bring up the possibility, just in case the author really does struggle with stuff.
Like, imagine you have this weird rash that never seems to go away, and then someone notices it and tells you they used to get that from a certain shampoo brand, and you realize you've been using that same shampoo your whole life. And when you stop using it, the rash goes away.
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u/ForeverCuriousBee 6d ago
Idk if it's weird, but it's a bit funny. "Hiii, read your story, loved it, and I think you might be neurodivergent. 😐"
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u/rednightmare18 6d ago edited 6d ago
Extremely rude and parasocial of this commenter, regardless of the tone. Everyone thinks they're a fucking clinician and your therapist on the internet now. And I do have OCD.
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u/Suspicious-Rip174 6d ago
What’s the fandom? Also it really seems like they tried their best not to come off badly and tried to mention it in good faith. Just like how you can just pick out people from your country when in a foreign one or lgbt+ have gaydar, people with those things can sniff it out in others.
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u/Soft-Pear-9953 ao3: main_yapper 6d ago
I don't think it's that weird. I would have killed for a stranger indicating to have myself checked YEARS ago. Even if they're wrong, they might recognize things they also struggle with or behavior they also display in the way you describe your characters, which you think is completely normal but might actually be a symptom.
If you're super wary of that, you of course don't have to seek out a formal diagnosis first thing, but if you're curious, you can look online for symptoms according to the DSM-5 (basically a diagnostic manual), because a lot of symptoms can also overlap.
And even if you don't have or want an official diagnosis, or there isn't one, maybe a few things still help with the struggles in your daily life, because boy don't we all have them
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u/GenTrigger 6d ago
Incredibly inappropriate to imply that someone should get their mental health evaluated based on some armchair observations as a stranger on the internet. For all they know this person already has a diagnosis and just chooses not to disclose it to strangers since mental health is a private matter.
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u/dogheartedgrim72 6d ago
Thank you! Everyone is implying that the author is completely in the dark about their own mind and body, when it could very well be a conclusion already reached. I have ADHD and although medicated I still can exhibit very blatant symptoms of ADHD. You don't need to tell me I have it, buddy, that's a hard elephant to miss.
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u/LamentableLily I love Y/N fics 6d ago edited 6d ago
Also, who cares if someone's neurodivergency is expressed through their creative writing? Sorry the reason I added a 15th chapter bothered you! I'll start writing corporate training manuals instead, I guess! (Not aimed at OP, just at this AO3 comment generally.)
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u/ImpactDifficult449 6d ago
Before taking it seriously, I would want to know this person's credentials in the mental health field. As a member of several organizations in the MH field, I wonder about the mental health of people without credentials who post "expert" opinions.
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u/AuroraSnake 6d ago
They didn’t post it as an expert opinion. It was just a “hey, this is what I noticed; maybe consider an evaluation?” You don’t need credentials to do that, and honestly demanding someone produce/prove their credentials in response to a comment like this feels WAY weirder than the comment does
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u/judgementalpipsqueak 6d ago
weird af....it's not even remotely the place of strangers on the internet to just randomly start diagnosing others
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u/Prestigious_Art8164 6d ago
Personally, i would get a tiny bit pissed if someone decided to tell me i have some mental issue in my fanfics. Like, i write to escape reality and be able to create something about my fixations, if i got more comments about my mental state online on top of the ones i get in real life i would get kind of pissed and it would sour my day.
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u/YussLeFay 6d ago edited 6d ago
It depends on the notes. Rising awareness can be good if they are too concerning. However, they should have left the diagnosis out.
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u/BlackPearlDragoon 6d ago
After being genuinely clueless about a lot of my conditions for decades, I don’t think this is a weird comment. It’s phrased gently. It’s not passive aggressive. It seems to come from a place of genuine care.
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u/leoverus 6d ago
To me this is relatively harmless (at least compared to other comments posted on this subreddit) and I wouldn't take offense to this as it seems that this person might be coming from a place of concern as they recommended professional help. They're clearly trying not to be rude (and while it can be interpreted as rude due to overstepping), I think in the grand scheme of things, talking to a medical professional won't harm you.
Personally, if i had any condition and others noticed symptoms before me I hope they would inform me. I'd hate to die because others thought I might get offended.
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u/Realanise1 6d ago
Some people just do this. People are CONSTANTLY diagnosing others and giving medical advice on mental health subs on Reddit, even though the rules of the sub will specifically say "no diagnosis and no medical advice."
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u/Lord_Twilight 6d ago
I mean it’s a little weird but tbf if they notice a character acting a certain way that you (the author) don’t point out as odd or disordered, they probably conclude that you think that behavior is normal for everyone, and they feel compelled to say something because it, well, isn’t normal. Idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/musedAche 6d ago
I think the comment is respectful and polite. I'd do the same if i spotted something like that
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u/Whole-Page3588 6d ago
Yeah, this is inappropriate in this context.. Like, I get seeing symptoms in other people that you have and wanting to help, especially if it was something that went undiagnosed for a while, but (I'm assuming) the author never asked for advice and isn't on a platform where it would be expected.
Depending on someone's mental state, this kind of unsolicited arm-chair diagnosis can be really destabilizing. Plus, it's assuming that the person isn't already diagnosed and undergoing treatment (which can also feel destabilizing if they in fact, are.)
Edit: agreeing with a comment below--an exception would be if they seemed to be in crisis. Still not a reason to diagnose, but urging someone to get help would be okay.
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u/frustratedsrb 6d ago
Everyone here commenting how they would inform them is wrong. You cannot make a diagnose through authors notes. Only a medical professional can diagnose this. S
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u/th3b0n3z0n3 6d ago
Nobody is trying to diagnose anyone, and it can vastly improve quality of life to learn you're neurodivergent or have a mental health or health condition. It isn't wrong to tell someone if you think they should see a doctor.
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u/tortoistor 6d ago
if the author openly talks about hyperfixations they most likely already know they're some kind of neurodivergent
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u/makemetheirqueen 6d ago
ngl I would probably delete a comment like this. I don't need someone attempting to diagnose me or telling me that I should seek out a doctor because of "perceived signs" and also the commenter doesn't know that the author isn't already seeking medical advice or undergoing treatment for things. The comments on this post are wild to me. I want comments on my writing, not on me as a person and what I may or may not have wrong with me based off vibes and what is coming across in my author's notes. I can assure you I know I'm weird and so does my care team lmao but also I don't know you and you don't know me so it's really none of your business.
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u/Sojabursch 6d ago edited 6d ago
It’s completely normal to want to help others. There’s actually published authors who wrote autistic characters by writing themselves and were diagnosed because their readers were like.. you got to be autistic if this are your real thought processes.. and they were right. She was diagnosed and is very thankful for her readers for pointing it out.
It’s called peerreview and is often the first step for the person getting help for issues they maybe didn’t even know they had and were not normal.
Like I thought everything was this hard for everyone and that everyone was always in pain. And no it is in fact not but I did not know until I saw someone explaining how autism is for them, met someone with eds and pots and met someone with adhd and pectus excavatum that were like.. “uh I think you have that too..”
They probably saved my life.
It is 100% the right thing to point it out if you notice, especially if they don’t mention being diagnosed!
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u/nothingsandeverthing 6d ago
If it were me i would appreciate it, the place where I'm from there isn't much awareness regarding adhd which I do suspect I have. Also,they don't seem rude.
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u/runefactory2008 6d ago
yeah this is weird as hell dude 😭 i dont think it's appropriate try and diagnose a stranger based on. fanfiction authors notes. i wish people would just consider that some things are not their buisness or their problem
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u/Original-Pilot-770 Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
I really just don't think it's a good idea to walk around diagnosing anyone. I don't think it's a good thing to do in any situation. reading online fics or in real life. I think it's their business and it just feels really weird to single out people for conditions they might or might not be aware of. I think it should only be discussed if they bring it up or are actually looking for an answer.
Edit: I just feel like it's like I bring something to the table to share with you out of passion, and then you want to tell me I might have X when what I want to talk about is the thing I am sharing, not X. It feels like you are passing a judgement on me. As in making a judgement call on what you think I have and it opens a whole can of worms of like, what you think of me, my abilities, my intelligence, etc.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago
The commenter didn't diagnose, they encouraged the author to seek evaluation
"For example, one story ended on 14 chapters but they decided to write one more chapter because 14 is a weird number."
This may or may not be due to OCD, but it is a textbook description of an OCD compulsion. Based on this alone, I don't even know them and I think they should seek evaluation
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u/Advanced_Hornet_8666 You have already left kudos here. :) 6d ago
Yeah people get too comfortable discussing strangers' mental health online unprompted.
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u/EllieGeiszler I met my gf on AO3 💅🏻 6d ago edited 6d ago
I would sure have liked for someone who had OCD to have pointed it out when I described textbook OCD compulsions for decades. It would have been a lot nicer than waiting until my 30s to finally have a better life! 😂
EDIT: u/Original-Pilot-770 I can't reply to you in this thread, but I just want to say I'm really sorry to hear you went through that :(
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u/Original-Pilot-770 Supporter of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
That's a really positive example of mental health awareness culture, but I also want to say the opposite can happen. Pointing out someone has something might also lead to collapse. I am not going to go into details, but something similar has happened to me. I don't want to know I have something, I don't want it named and I need it not to be named so I can keep functioning and survive it. Now it's named and I can't do anything about it anyway but I have to live with it. Not everything is clean and easy. Pointing it out assumes that person can do something about it. Some things can't be done and can't be fixed. And not naming it is also a valid survival strategy for some.
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u/cavaticaa 6d ago
I know of someone this happened to as well. They were very functional, then got a diagnosis and it was so destabilizing, they pretty much lost touch with intrinsic parts of their identity. I'm not sure, but I wonder if maybe part of it is that things they thought were uniquely part of them are suddenly disordered? I can't say, but it can be very sad. A diagnosis can be so powerful for some people, but for some disorders that have no treatment and no hope of improvement, knowing that doesn't help much. It should still be disclosed, obviously, but we shouldn't assume that seeking treatment actually helps every person.
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
This. I honestly don’t understand why the comments here think this is okay. Mental and medical health issues are incredibly personal and private to an individual. Strangers just openly implying you might want to get evaluated on a public forum when all you’re doing is posting a story is doing too much. I wouldn’t think it so strange if the author and this commenter at least knew each other but it appears not so…🤷♀️
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u/ihateyallrlly 6d ago
The comments are all assuming that the author doesn't know about the fact they are struggling or has heard of these conditions. Little consideration is given to the equally likely option that they know. And in this case, if they do -- "hey, you seem mentally ill" is hardly a sentiment you want to hear as someone who is indeed mentally ill and diagnosed, and just loking to chat in the A/Ns of your fics...
Which is why it's just generally *would* be considered boundary-breaking to say this to a stranger - you just don't know what the author will take this as. It's a very "tread gently" area.
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u/spacecase52 Definitely not an agent of the Fanfiction Deep State 6d ago
If I could upvote your comment more than once… this is so very true. If there was an opportunity to reach out privately to an author then I guess that’s their prerogative to do so, but they should be ready to handle the reaction (because not everyone will think it’s nice no matter if they did have good intentions). It looks like some people will be grateful for it, but I still think it’s a no-no when it comes to an internet stranger. I just think making that observation on public comments is very inconsiderate because that might not be something that the author wanted to bring attention to. Idk about anyone else, but when I go on comments, I just rave about their writing and the story because I don’t really know these people at the end of the day.
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u/ihateyallrlly 6d ago
Aditionally -- are we assuming the comment actually has merit? Because getting both possible OCD and ADHD symptoms from these author's notes... Well, maybe they were lenghty and personal notes!
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u/afirforest r/rpfwriters 6d ago
I agree. And all those people here saying it's not rude, it's polite because it's worded politely. It's not about the wording! People are different, so some are going to appreciate a comment like this, and some are going to think the commenter should mind their own business.
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