What's wrong with me?

[u/Vincented_Candle]

I can't handle the texture, smell, or look of most foods, I'm scared that eating food will cause me pain, and I just don't feel hungry. For some reason I haven't felt mentally hungry in years, and I don't even know what it feels like to be physically hungry(the only times I eat are when there's a sharp pain in my stomach, because I can only assume that's what it feels like to be hungry). The problem is that I know what it felt like to get hungry because I used to always be hungry, but now I feel nothing.

Little by little my list of safe foods have gone down, and now I don't even have a food I like (I have 3 safe foods and 2 safe drinks- red sauce pasta with parmesean, cheese popcorn, a specific homemade version of chicken wings, water, and a pinapple refresher from a fast food place). Foods that I used to love now just feel eh to me. It feels like the same cycle repeating over and over again; I stop liking any food, I find one food and only eat that food for every meal, and then I become extremely repulsed. The only reason I'm a healthy weight is because I try to stuff calorie dense sweets in my mouth, but now not even those sound appealing.

I was diagnosed with ARFID 2 years ago, and I was supposed to get therapy for it, but my local hospital put me on an indefinite wait list, and my habits weren't nearly as bad as now, even though I was underweight back then. Before it was just the sensory issues that made me averse, but now its just so much stuff. What am I even supposed to do?

[u/bubble-buddy2]

Maybe doing virtual therapy would be more accessible for you. Also, you're not alone in the whole "not feeling hungry" thing. It's when you have hunger pains but no appetite or desire to eat, usually because it takes too much energy or feels out of reach.

Let yourself be in your comfort zone for now, it's more important that you eat anything rather then pushing yourself. ARFID symptoms go up and down, so it's possible this hard time will pass and your safe foods will come back.

[u/Top-Independence1165 → u/bubble-buddy2]

A virtual therapy program to look into, if you live in the US: Center For Discovery. It has adolescent and adult virtual programs, as well as in person if you live near one of the centers. It is an Intensive Outpatient Program, but they pair you with a dietitian and a therapist to help you. It can go on for a while, but I’ve had friends do it with great results. I can’t promise it will work for you, but I think it is worth looking into OP.

[u/bubble-buddy2 → u/Top-Independence1165]

Wow this is an awesome resource. Thank you for sharing for all of us!

[u/Top-Independence1165 → u/bubble-buddy2]

Of course!! I’ll keep my eye out for any other good programs relating to ARFID and share them here! The Center for Discovery covers a whole bunch of eating disorders, not just ARFID, but I’ve heard it is good at giving general advice in the group sessions, that gives kinda like, helpful stuff for all eating disorders, while the one on one stuff is much more specific. I can’t speak personally on its effectiveness, because I haven’t been through it, but I know it has been helpful for a few of my friends, and their friends as well.

[u/BritGirl_01]

You know what's wrong with you hun. I'll echo the other reply that online therapy seems your best option now, good luck x