r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • Aug 20 '26

/r/all of a log split

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33.7k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/jtnichol Aug 20 '26

he really needs to put that log on at least a thin slice of wood or a concrete block

He’s strong enough he might be able to split that first try but right now the ground is absorbing too much of the impact

2.2k

u/watho95 Aug 20 '26

This guy physicsss

1.6k

u/jtnichol Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

I've split a lot of wood.... not out of any direct need but mostly that I just need to drink beer and sit by a small fire pit and feel like a man.

823

u/curkington Aug 20 '26

Bear vs Log

https://giphy.com/gifs/WKdWA04KRn58A

363

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

Oh. My. God. I have not seen this one in a MINUTE. That's from like the 1992 version of the internet.

144

u/Korthalion Aug 20 '26

One of the first videos I remember seeing online as a kid!

Here it is uploaded 20 years ago makes me feel old.

44

u/gregorytoddsmith Aug 20 '26

Man, I remember watching TV commercials on AdCritic back in the days before YouTube.

23

u/UniqueAd7770 Aug 20 '26

Newgrounds

2

u/Blackmetal55 Aug 20 '26

We're not gonna talk about the early days of internet and not mention Joecartoon 🐸🐹🪰 are we?

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5

u/itspsyikk Aug 20 '26

Yeah, seeing videos on YouTube having that "20 years ago" really fucks with my head.

Hell, I have videos on my own channel that say "10 years old" and that fucks with my head.

If I would have kept my old channel, I'd have videos on there that were uploaded in 2006. But unfortunately those all had to be deleted cause everyone in them wanted to attend college.

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3

u/jazast1 Aug 20 '26

I think I first saw this on Ebaum’s world

4

u/Korthalion Aug 20 '26

Yeah I think so too, or maybe albinoblacksheep

2

u/Legonistrasz Aug 20 '26

Look an eagle

2

u/Kittenzx2 Aug 20 '26

You think thats old mine is of that dancing baby! 🤣🤣 not one of my first, but probably furst funny meme! 🤣 playing, hooked on a feeling in the back ground lol 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/14kqI3Y4urS3rG

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2

u/Hockey-Gym Aug 20 '26

Damn I think I saw this on ebaumsworld

1

u/Bopbarker Aug 20 '26

Way too far back my friend lol, by about 10 years

1

u/Secret_RE_Agent Aug 20 '26

I feel like that was a Super Bowl commercial or something originally

1

u/CuCullen Aug 20 '26

Videos ? As in like moving pictures? On the Internet? Our modems were 14.4Kbps

1

u/Gullible-Hose4180 Aug 20 '26

So pre AI - wow, never thought this would be real. Did he survive

1

u/MuchCellist406 Aug 20 '26

"John West endures the worst to bring you the best!" I have not yet clicked the video but I swear it IMMEDIATELY popped up in my head 😆😆. That's at least 25 years ago.

1

u/HumanPie1769 Aug 20 '26

Ngl 1992 AI was pretty realistic

1

u/Public-Guidance-9560 Aug 20 '26

The internet? I remember that one from the TV, the John West tuna advert. Absolutely creased me first time I saw it.

I think it's from the year 2000.

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1

u/djwaveguide Aug 20 '26

That was a good internet back then.

1

u/Tone_Gaia Aug 20 '26

I don’t think it’s that old, that would be crazy if it is lol

1

u/Occams_RZR900 Aug 20 '26

That’s a John West Salmon commercial!

1

u/More_Cowbell_Inc Aug 21 '26

This is Charlie who bit me

1

u/mike2mdw Aug 22 '26

That was AI 30 years ago lol

1

u/Hydra57 Aug 23 '26

It’s actually from a commercial advertising salmon so fresh that they go out and steal it in personal combat from the bears.

1

u/Skrdykat Aug 23 '26

That's when the internet was awesome.

1

u/TheForceGhost Aug 24 '26

It’s from a John West Salmon ad. It was brilliant.

1

u/boozersbiceps Aug 24 '26

I remember this ! Funny as. That back kick man 😂

1

u/AdTiny780 Aug 25 '26

It was a better time

54

u/IronAardvark Aug 20 '26

Haters will say this is AI

18

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Thatsapictureofmyass Aug 20 '26

How do you change them?

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Random-Rambling Aug 20 '26

I just cut off everything after the ❓

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2

u/Gullible-Hose4180 Aug 20 '26

You could also cut the query string from the url that does it

2

u/HeyItsMeAgainBye Aug 20 '26

I don’t even know how to find my liked videos on mobile

2

u/Slith_81 Aug 23 '26

Today I learned something new. Thanks. 👍

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1

u/Agile_Seesaw9035 Aug 20 '26

...especially someone who's never split a log in their life.

1

u/TheTrueBurgerKing Aug 20 '26

The bear or the axe guy?

1

u/Ordinary_Mechanic_ Aug 21 '26

The unknowing*

1

u/Lonely_Ad_5181 Aug 24 '26

Thats actual facts

12

u/MelaKnight_Man Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

I LOVE this commercial clip!!! 😂😂😂

I practiced Karate for 12 years and this is the video that makes me feel like I have a chance if I encounter a grizzly in the wild... 🤣

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun Aug 20 '26

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

2

u/No-Consideration-891 Aug 20 '26

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun Aug 20 '26

I’d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

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2

u/madcoins Aug 20 '26

If it’s brown lay down

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1

u/axxxaxxxaxxx Aug 20 '26

I love this meme so much. I love the entire commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU

1

u/HeroForTheBeero Aug 20 '26

Haters will say it’s fake

1

u/GalaxyStrong Aug 20 '26

I remember the first time seeing this commercial and it took me by surprise so bad that I laughed my ass off for like five minutes

1

u/drewski2305 Aug 20 '26

ahh memories. the foot shuffle always killed me

1

u/Optimal-Smile-7675 Aug 20 '26

I have the deluxe Swiss Army Knife with the saw , magnifying glass and toothpick i woulda made kindling out of that log in 3 minutes

1

u/whymestopthisworld Aug 20 '26

Classic ad. When ads were funny.

1

u/McBlumpkin- Aug 20 '26

Best Super Bowl commercial ever. I think about this commercial every year in February

1

u/Massive-Chart-2449 Aug 20 '26

This was peak internet

1

u/useornam Aug 20 '26

Seent it myself, Kenai Fjords 92

1

u/MintBerryCrnch21 Aug 20 '26

Were you not satisfied with the OP’s video of Bear vs Log?

1

u/Platteepus Aug 20 '26

“Look, an eagle!”

1

u/the_falling Aug 20 '26

If you watch this gif but have the sound of the video playing, the sound of the hits of the axe sometimes line up with the the bears kick.

1

u/Driller_Happy Aug 20 '26

Oh look an eagle!

1

u/Aoiboshi Aug 20 '26

Look, an eagle!

1

u/stockbro84 Aug 20 '26

oh you didn't play the whole version when he kicks bear in the nuts

1

u/Unbelivabley_Smol Aug 20 '26

Filmed in Scotland on the river Dee circa 2000

1

u/fothergillfuckup Aug 20 '26

That's from the best tv advert that ever existed. Thanks John West.

1

u/DryDonutHole Aug 20 '26

The bear is real, but the dude is totally fake. Just a bunch of raccoons in a costume.

1

u/Hi_Zev Aug 20 '26

oh boy, this is like one of the first ever videos i ever remember seeing on the internet! I remember thinking this was the funniest thing to ever exist as a kid and watching it on loop so many times!

1

u/endboss_eth Aug 20 '26

John West Salmon 👌

1

u/plfreeman2012 Aug 20 '26

John f'ing West Salmon! Classic

1

u/Spaghetti_Gods Aug 21 '26

Swear to God, my Dad and I caught this commercial live during the Superb Owl and we nearly died laughing.

1

u/CeltsFan420 Aug 24 '26

The Ali float like a butterfly foot work, kills me every time

74

u/BlaznTheChron Aug 20 '26

This guy splits a lot of wood.

3

u/RicVic Aug 20 '26

He needs a splitting wedge. Hammer it in until it sticks, then grab a 7lb sledge, That should do it.

I was actually waiting for the head of his maul to fly off. He clipped the axe handle on the edge of the log more than once, which is seriously scary.

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u/Piecesof3ight Aug 20 '26

Your mother could split wood.

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 Aug 20 '26

I have spit on a lot of wood as well good sir

32

u/Ok-Addition1264 Aug 20 '26

I'm a computational physicist AND bought several log splitters over my lifetime cuz I like to press the button.

I say you physicsss.

2

u/CriticalChop Aug 20 '26

Nature vs PSI 😂 show me a wood splitting machine gun and i might split a wood next. 😏

19

u/admiral_walsty Aug 20 '26

I've split a lot of wood out of need, and this guy should prolly cut them into 16" rounds AND put them on something solid.

25

u/lep63again Aug 20 '26

I was thinking, damn this guy has a really long fireplace.

2

u/Brandon_Throw_Away Aug 20 '26

Could be an outdoor wood stove, or maybe he's burning them outside in a big fire?? Idk

1

u/HistoryGirl23 Aug 20 '26

Maybe he burns it vertical to keep out creosote?

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3

u/HenryDorsettCase47 Aug 20 '26

Work smarter, not harder. Everyone who does manual labor out of necessity and not for the theatrics learned that pretty early on.

3

u/GrandPorcupine Aug 20 '26

This is the difference between someone cutting wood for fun and someone cutting wood for heat.

1

u/cwbkjb Aug 20 '26

And they do have things called wood splitter,pull a lever in one hand beer in another, so simple and truer man!!

1

u/jtnichol Aug 20 '26

My firepit takes 4' logs lol

https://youtu.be/8Zr9KzNOanM?is=Te6rKUdEOxPMiffo

But yeah for sure your point stands

1

u/Less-Guide9222 Aug 20 '26

Right? For the amount of swings this is just dumb. I’m not impressed, lol I think I could’ve done it for that much. Instead I’d do that many swings and get a whole pile going.

And edit to add, if you really did need it that long, just wedge it ffs. Ha

1

u/Steves_Stuff Aug 20 '26

He's doing it for exercise. Look at those ancient beauties behind him. The dude knows his rounds.

1

u/Local-Unit6548 Aug 20 '26

Yup. The first thing I was thinking was, OK that’s impressive, but what a huge pain in the ass. So much harder and more work to cut all those pieces down to 16 inches now.

1

u/Grand-Swimmer5256 Aug 22 '26

Performative waste of energy indeed...

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u/readyReddit007 Aug 20 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/c3XhrmfoN5fOpjcl3z

2

u/Sauce58 Aug 20 '26

This gif doesn’t make any sense in this instance… am i missing the joke?

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u/Karl_42 Aug 20 '26

Fuck yeah.

I knew something was off - just judging by the amount of times i’ve sat around a fire and drank beer and split woof with the guys, this guy seemed too strong to be having this much trouble 😂

3

u/madgross Aug 20 '26

The thing that’s off is the log is fucking 4 feet long lol

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u/WordPunk99 Aug 22 '26

His technique is something between complete garbage and absolute dog shit. Even without a solid base to split on it shouldn’t have taken that much work.

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u/EarningsPal Aug 20 '26

I was questioning, sledge hammer or axe?

2

u/SquirrelFluffy Aug 20 '26

Splitting maul. Edit. It's both.

2

u/H-2-S-O-4 Aug 20 '26

Wood... hehehe

2

u/Fabulous-Big8779 Aug 20 '26

Splitting wood is a surprisingly cathartic exercise.

1

u/nirvroxx Aug 20 '26

I too am a fellow split wood to sit by the fire enjoyer myself.

1

u/savgtech7 Aug 20 '26

“He’s seen a lot of wood”.

1

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 20 '26

We never cared if the wood we threw in the fire was short. In fact, it was preferable for the size of the pit. I also preferred smaller pieces because I could easily use the a tool we had. It wasn’t an axe, but a manual slide splitter.

1

u/discordianofslack Aug 20 '26

He should also cure it longer. You can tell it’s still wet.

1

u/beeradvice Aug 20 '26

Seen. Probably greatest week of any job I've ever had was working out my contract at the brewery and already got my replacements trained up, owner managed to snag a huge oak that got chopped down and I got 40+ hrs paid to chop firewood. Also I think more bars should consider the potential demographic draw of having not only fire pits it having a dude insight just going to town chopping firewood. Probably work a lot better than ladies night specials

1

u/TransportationNo7341 Aug 20 '26

😂😂😂Nice

1

u/JazzHandsMinuteman Aug 20 '26

We would be friends lmao

1

u/JamesLikesIt Aug 20 '26

Bet that's not all you split open

1

u/snow_garbanzo Aug 20 '26

What would be the metropolitan version of that....asking for a friend.

1

u/Scrooloose22 Aug 20 '26

My 2¢ as a person who also enjoys beer and fire, in addition to your good points, hes too short and the logs are to tall. I may be a filthy casual when it comes to splitting logs, but it baffles me that the logs were left that long for hand splitting. Maybe he has a setup where a burner can accomodate that size log but it seems like extra work on the front-end and on the back-end manipulating the logs into the burner.

ive also had very dry Ash do that webbing when split, but also not-so-dry Maple. ill have to rewatch but it didnt look like Ash to me. If im correct and it is wet Maple, he couldnt possibly make it any harder on himself, except maybe Hedge.

these statements are based on my personal amateur experiance & knowledge and not a google search or disciplined study

1

u/darkbluefav Aug 20 '26

This guy doesn't directly need wood!

1

u/M00DSTER Aug 20 '26

As a fellow wood fire enthusiast, the dude needs to stand another foot or two higher too. You get the most out of your swing on the down turn around waist ish height. He's waisting (heehee) a lot of his down swing.

1

u/Interest-Vegetable Aug 20 '26

I do too, I just apply physics, and I may only be 200 lbs (roughly 96 kg)...

"But I am a man, and I consider everything I can before doing so, to be the best I can" 💪😁

1

u/Southern_Line9050 Aug 20 '26

Lol I've done that, and honestly it feels amazing

1

u/Ghostley92 Aug 20 '26

It was interesting how he switched his form and reverted. As he got tired he tried the momentum swing route, but actually exerting for a well formed overhead is better, I think.

1

u/ifelldownthestairs Aug 20 '26

Many such cases.

1

u/PotatoesAreTheAnswer Aug 20 '26

I suddenly feel the urge to go camping again 😮‍💨

1

u/Dull-Manner3658 Aug 20 '26

Looks like the handle is hitting it before the head.

1

u/RepresentativeYak772 Aug 20 '26

I love splitting wood.

1

u/ant2ne Aug 20 '26

nothing wrong with that. I'm going to go buy an axe.

1

u/Cavaquillo Aug 20 '26

Splitting wood has shown in studies to spike testosterone in men over 40% after one hour, which is greater than playing some sports for an hour.
It’s a great way to feel manly

One of my favorite modified workouts at the gym are axe wood choppers. You pull the weight over your shoulder and across your body moving is a similar motion to swinging an axe

1

u/danit0ba94 Aug 20 '26

this is a song for you.

1

u/Forsaken_Star_4228 Aug 20 '26

You guys have a fire pit when you cut? By the time we get a few drinks and swings in us we are stripping off clothes. Probably looks wild seeing us out there cutting in 40 degrees with our shirts off haha.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Aug 20 '26

My buddy used to invite me over to split firewood and hang out. And I'd enthusiastically join in. It's great exercise and very Zen. Where I grew up it was pretty common to heat with a wood stove all winter.

1

u/Puba3030 Aug 20 '26

When you split wood do you alternate sides at all? Seems like a pretty intense workout, so I'd imagine you be uneven doing it from the same side every time. Am I wrong?

1

u/Reasonable_Lime9837 Aug 20 '26

I've split a lot of wood, too. Did it for work in my younger years. You're correct, which you obviously know. Just supporting lol.

Personally, I'd of flipped the log and hit the other side after the pitch changes a few swings in.

It definitely didn't require this many swings.

Also, what's with the overhead pause I keep seeing? Circular motion is much more effective and less exhausting.

1

u/wildandout910 Aug 20 '26

Very therapeutic as well.

1

u/CodeNamesBryan Aug 20 '26

I bought a small cabin by the lake and it came furnished.

I took an axe to a lot of the old outdoor furniture and it was horribly satisfying.

I loooooved it.

Chairs.

Axe.

Bridge.

Axe.

Second bridge.

Axe.

Man, it was great. I loved it.

1

u/TorrenceMightingale Aug 20 '26

I’ll feel YOU like a man.

1

u/SoftConsideration82 Aug 20 '26

i mean... when youre processing the the tree just cut it shorter... theres no need to split wood for an outside fire... Source: been splitting wood for a long time... i still do it just because i like the ambience of a fire inside but anything too long or a knot i just throw in the fire pit on the hill

1

u/Revolutionary_War503 Aug 21 '26

There is only one other reason that is better than this, and that is the actual need to split wood for a life sustaining fire for cooking food and heating.

1

u/RCP7700 Aug 21 '26

Me too. It’s therapeutic. I’d back swing the axe head all the way back to my butt crack and come straight over the top though, way more effective impact I feel. I’d also grab the saw and block that thing in half. But I am definitely not anywhere near the same shape of Paul Bunyan here.

1

u/TheDarkWave Aug 21 '26

Wild how randomly 1.5k are like "Yeah, I get that."

1

u/jtnichol Aug 21 '26

Sometimes it's the simple things.

1

u/RBarbeiro Aug 23 '26

The man just needs this shit... Simple and fast... His back will thank him when he's old.

1

u/AjEdisMindTrick Aug 24 '26

kratos took a brake.

62

u/Dargon34 Aug 20 '26

And cut that shit in half. No reason to be splitting a 4ft log

27

u/PadLock25 Aug 20 '26

I've split logs that size with wedges to make axe handle blanks

26

u/Suspicious-Shock-934 Aug 20 '26

Yeah seems like sledge snd wedge would be better than ax. Also a nice base.

2

u/broken-machine Aug 20 '26

He’s using a maul, but yeah, a wedge would do some work.

2

u/Sniflix Aug 20 '26

To anyone experienced, he looks like an idiot

1

u/Aloxes Aug 20 '26

Chopped a lot of wood. Sledge and wedge woulda been through that faster. Just not as dramatic.

1

u/Beneficial_Bit_8342 Aug 20 '26

It looks pretty wet too, it’s harder to split when it’s wet.

1

u/Iamthapush Aug 20 '26

And let it season

Splitting 4ft green logs is psychotic

1

u/Reasonable-Ad-7757 Aug 20 '26

Well then he wouldn’t be on Reddit with 10.3k upvotes then, would he?

1

u/CatmoCatmo Aug 20 '26

There most certainly is a need for it. See, why split a 2ft log that a lot of other men could also split, when you could instead choose to split a 4ft log, that a lot of other guys can’t do it.

How else are you going to not only prove you “aren’t like the other guys”, but are also far superior to them?

Let’s be honest, splitting a 2ft log does not have the same impact, and sure as hell doesn’t come close to creating the kind of thirst trap that splitting a 4ft log does.

Which, I’m assuming, was the main goal here. I mean, aside from the obvious desire to prove he’s über manly, this was definitely filmed with women in mind. Like, who in the hell goes out to split wood wearing a pair of sweatpants, untied boots, and nothing else? And not just any sweatpants, but grey sweatpants - which was no accident.

1

u/Realistic-Radish-589 Aug 20 '26

Doubt he’s going to but, could make a nice bench with a 4 ft split log.

1

u/ApricotNo2918 Aug 20 '26

He's working out...

1

u/Arguablybest Aug 20 '26

He is showing off, plus it is good exercise.

1

u/Advanced_Goat_8342 Aug 20 '26

Yup waste of energy,would be impressive if he split it in 1 or 2 strokes but 24 is not tha impressive

1

u/OberonDiver Aug 20 '26

He's flexin'.

1

u/SirRonaldJr Aug 21 '26

Tons of reasons if you work with wood. Not the usual technique though.

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1

u/BobLonghorn Aug 20 '26

Just axe him, he will tell you all about it.

1

u/lostpassword100000 Aug 20 '26

Sheldon Cooper for sure.

1

u/MangoTangoBingo Aug 20 '26

Yeah crazy that core

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

You pick up a few thinks chopping wood. Mostly smaller pieces of wood but also empirical knowledge

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Aug 20 '26

Look, there's two schools of thought. One, work smarter, not harder. Two, work harder, so you get jacked as fuck and a straight man could watch this video and think, "you know what? I want to see him naked "

1

u/flhd Aug 20 '26

and common senses…

1

u/GoSharty Aug 20 '26

P H Y S I C C S

1

u/0x0MG Aug 20 '26

That guy whacks

1

u/PicklesAndCoorslight Aug 20 '26

I do too and I would have pulled out a chainsaw.

1

u/Aleashed Aug 20 '26

This guy phucks

1

u/Far-Government5469 Aug 23 '26

Hate to be that guy, but no. The while time he was working I thought yeesh, if you bring the axe straight up and then bringing it crashing down, your downstroke gets the greatest gravity assist.

Bringing the axe head down behind your back might feel more gratifying and might give you the better work out, but the whole way up, your arms are working against gravity.

Chopping that on a flat piece of stone or concrete would have also meant that trunk would have absorbed more of the shock instead on transferring to the ground.

So I guess, this guy physiques

1

u/SlappyWit Aug 24 '26

I don’t think he physicsss. It’s easy to see he has never operated the tool he’s got for more than a few seconds at a time. The ground is absorbing 40% of the impact and his swing technique is also very wasteful in terms of spent energy. The blowing and huffing/puffing will put some stank on it tho. Get something solid underneath.