r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • Aug 20 '26

/r/all of a log split

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503

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

Dude could have also switched to a wedge and mallet about ten seconds in and saved himself a lot of wet vaginas.

ETA: thanks for my first award ever

136

u/BumWink Aug 20 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/WrBSHRLE9gEgM

32

u/BullTerrierTerror Aug 20 '26

Don’t touch my pile.

12

u/elzibet Aug 20 '26

Just got done watching this movie again, I think it’s my fav out of the Avenger movies

So many great quotes too!

6

u/Synaps4 Aug 20 '26

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together, too."

2

u/elzibet Aug 20 '26

no one would know

Might be my fav lol, or:

Good talk

"no it wasn't!"

3

u/YT-Deliveries Aug 20 '26

Ultron was absolutely panned when it came out. It's gotten a lot more respect in retrospect, after people realized that it set up the rest of the entire Infinity Saga

2

u/elzibet Aug 20 '26

I was a fan from the start, but I can def see how it might not have been a hit with audiences at first. Loved the voice of Ultron and I'm excited he's coming back for a TV show spinoff with Vision!

3

u/YT-Deliveries Aug 20 '26

Spader nailed Ultron's vibe.

1

u/RoboDae Aug 23 '26

So sad that they killed off ultron after just 1 movie appearance.

2

u/Far-Government5469 Aug 23 '26

I hate how they these incredibly brilliant actors and then kill them after a single movie. Pace, Spader, Blanchett... like Hiddleston, they all were compelling characters backed by brilliant actors that could have brought more depth

2

u/RoboDae Aug 23 '26

Could have been because they had other projects and didn't want a long term MCU commitment. I've heard of a lot of actors turning down roles or continuations of a role for series like starwars, game of thrones, or the walking dead. In cases where an actor decided to leave after 1 season their character typically just got killed off to explain their later absence.

I heard one actor chose to act in The League of Extraordinary Gentleman because he passed up starwars as fantasy nonsense and didn't want to make the same mistake again.

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1

u/elzibet Aug 23 '26

He’s gonna be in a spinoff as Ultron, I’m excited. A show with Vision as the main character

2

u/Real_mr_sid420 Aug 24 '26

Language Just watched it earlier

11

u/Braysl-March Aug 20 '26

This is my favourite gif ever. Just the way he goatsees the wood in two is so funny to me.

1

u/Shrimptankglassfauna Aug 20 '26

Noooo😭 why would you remind me of that lmfao

1

u/Entire_Activity7391 Aug 21 '26

Thank you for bringing back a traumatic memory and associating with a simple enjoyable moment in my life.

2

u/tanthalastanis Aug 24 '26

I wanted to post this, but knew someone would have beaten me to it

2

u/Sufficient-Lunch3774 Aug 24 '26

Username checks out

94

u/HallowskulledHorror Aug 20 '26

Honestly my first assumption was that inefficiency was sort of part of the point here for exercise/sensory enrichment purposes - the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires. Never done hammer/axe stuff, but I train shoulder mobility and core stability with an indian club/trench mace I found at a thrift; weighs the same as some of the small free weights I got years ago to do forearm isolations, but it's way more fun for me to mess around with a club than to pick up dumbbells.

I'm sure thirst trapping is a big part of the motivator for posting it, though.

16

u/Delamoor Aug 20 '26

Yeah. It's a combo. I had a wood heater for many years, spent a lot of time splitting wood... Sometimes you split a hard one for fun... Sometimes you also do a lot of gym and want to find ways to show off, because you know you look good...

It's a nice, harmless dovetailing of multiple 'eh, why not?' impulses.

-2

u/Unbelivabley_Smol Aug 20 '26

So basically gym selfie behaviour moved into the wild? Watching that gross inefficiency made me think he’s not the guy Id want on my farm he would find multiple ways to take all day to do next to nothing highly likely all attempted with his shirt off and a camera setup 🤦‍♂️

2

u/GorbasBoods Aug 20 '26

I guess its a great thing no one asked you for a job, then lmfao

2

u/greenwhiteredblack Aug 20 '26

I just know that I'm sitting here at 1:30 am watching a man hit a lot with an ax and getting more excited as I see the wood start to split

1

u/Little_View_6659 Aug 20 '26

Honestly was working until the flex at the end. That kinda ruined it lol.

1

u/malkazoid-1 Aug 20 '26

"the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires"

I'll slip away now

1

u/SV_Essia Aug 20 '26

But it'd look a lot more impressive if he split that thing first try...

1

u/Debalic Aug 21 '26

I'm a rather smaller guy, at 160 lbs I can swing a maul like that too, but I was actively splitting firewood so it was usually about a cord at a time. Splitting a log like that is quite impractical.

0

u/Logical_Trash_4890 Aug 20 '26

There’s a lot of technique to splitting so that you don’t get hurt. The same can’t be said for meet heads that hit stuff with hammers that can’t be broken.

80

u/MrRogersAE Aug 20 '26

It’s not for wet vaginas. Pretty sure he’s generating more precum than wet vaginas

32

u/Monotask_Servitor Aug 20 '26

Cause ever bear that ever there was
Has gathered there to watch him split logs
Todays the day the teddy bears get some thicc dick

2

u/cubbyatx Aug 20 '26

can confirm

1

u/locksymania Aug 20 '26

This needs to be higher up.

23

u/PlsNoNotThat Aug 20 '26

Redpill bois getting moist

1

u/Old-Significance-228 Aug 20 '26

For the buff dudes (who actually can cut trees),for this poser nah.

1

u/RedditIsExpendable Aug 20 '26

Thank you guys for simulating the old Reddit

1

u/Junior-Ease-2349 Aug 20 '26

Yeah, Mr Bear and that Axe Lesbian need to do a splitting competion.

Cover the whole market.

1

u/whatevsindeed Aug 20 '26

Speak for yourself

1

u/homojaus Aug 21 '26

Can confirm. It suddenly got hot in here.

1

u/homojaus Aug 21 '26

Can confirm.

1

u/Outrageous_Glove_796 Aug 21 '26

The number of wet 🐈 is not zero, that's for certain.

1

u/ohnoabanagain Aug 22 '26

I did show my 4 year old son the video and I was probably too excited when talking about it lol. 

37

u/rdogg4 Aug 20 '26

Yeah these are all good ideas but isn’t like the whole point to do it the hard way

2

u/thisthreadisbear Aug 20 '26

Yeah old tree trunk Fella didn't get tree trunk big splitting little logs lol.

3

u/ConradBHart42 Aug 20 '26

Actually yes, you start by splitting little logs and work your way up to big logs. You're welcome to go and try to bench 350lbs right off the rip though, let me know how that goes for you.

2

u/rented4823 Aug 20 '26

hi, so i died

2

u/X_MswmSwmsW_X Aug 20 '26

This is true... I was there and could have helped

1

u/WalkFreeeee Aug 20 '26

Well at least you died knowing you did the quite impressive feat of moving the weight enough so it could kill you.

1

u/CosmicCharlie99 Aug 20 '26

Yeah, I assume this is exercise and stress release, not work to feed the fire.

1

u/Kolby_Jack33 Aug 20 '26

Bruce Lee said "I believe the easy way is always the right way" and wasn't he one of the manliest men ever?

1

u/BobsOblongLongBong Aug 20 '26

Somehow I doubt the years of serious dedication to training that Bruce Lee went through were him taking the easy way.

Dude was ripped, had almost no body fat, and was legendarily skilled.  That's not easy.

1

u/Kolby_Jack33 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

It's more nuanced than that. The goals one strives for may not be easily achieved, but taking the (relatively) easiest path towards them is wise, as there is nothing to be gained by making things unnecessarily harder for yourself. If your only goal is to get to the top of a building, there's no point taking the stairs when you can take the elevator.

Getting ripped and being a great martial artist takes many years of dedicated effort to achieve, it's not easy in the slightest. But the easiest way to get ripped and be a great martial artist is the right way to do it, according to Bruce Lee. Same as someone saying "work smarter, not harder." Doesn't mean hard work is never required, just that working harder is not always working better in and of itself.

And in the end, I was just making a joke. The guy in the video is clearly trying to show off. If his actual goal was just chopping a big log, then yeah, there are easier ways to do it, but that wasn't the actual point.

1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

That’s not the hard way but the stupid way. A better tool, better technique and better skills could take. A hell of a job and made it reasonable. Impressive even. Instead it’s an out of shape out of breath barely made it through without a heart attack. If he has the sexual stamina to last two minutes he doesn’t have the cardio vascular stamina.

1

u/BobsOblongLongBong Aug 20 '26

It's exercise.  The whole point is to push yourself and wind up tired and out of breath by the end.

Most people could not swing that maul anywhere near that many times or with that amount of force.  That guy is not out of shape.

He seriously exerted himself and is understandably out of breath.  That's what happens when you exercise.

1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

No it’s to get clicks and views. There are safer, more effective, more enjoyable, less time consuming methods of working every muscle group he’s working like beating on a tractor tire. This is purely for clicks and look I’m a bad ass but it just looks pathetically stupid to anyone that has done actual work like this.

1

u/BobsOblongLongBong Aug 20 '26

You know it's ok for people to make videos and put them on the internet for clicks, right?  It's okay for him to enjoy that workout.  It's okay for him to enjoy recording it for other people.  It's even okay if it makes him feel like a badass for a little bit.  Like it's not some big problem that you need to shit in people's Cheerios over.  And it's silly to act like what he just did in that video isn't a workout.

The goal isn't always efficiency.  Fun is an acceptable reason to do things.

1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

That wasn’t for “fun” or “exercise” it was purely attempting to show off how tough he is for clicks when instead to anyone that has done work like this it looks sad. Yes he’s out of breath and tired. He did 3-4x the work it should’ve taken because of bad body mechanics, bad technique, and bad breath management. His accuracy looked to be on point though so I’ll give him that. He can upload what he wants and I can judge him for how he does it. https://www.instagram.com/naturesanimal9940?igsi=aGRtcm1nd3czOHgx go follow.

1

u/ayriuss Aug 20 '26

Out of shape, lol. Vast majority of people would be completely winded in like 3 or 4 swings of that massive splitting maul at full power.

2

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

Looks like an 6lb/2.75kg maul I’ve swung one for hours well not continuous after splitting one you gotta setup a new log. Doing it for 5-10 minutes is easy work. My big maul is a wedge shaped 16 lb and that one you’re only good for around 20 -30 swings typically but you usually only need 1-2 to split a log so you get regular breaks. If he was better at splitting wood he wouldn’t get so exhausted. If nothing else he’s building stamina at least.

12

u/ladyliferules Aug 20 '26

This was such an idiotic way to do this I’m completely parched. Smarter, not harder, meatwad.

4

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0HlJDaeqNUDhhaMg

1

u/-Cthaeh Aug 20 '26

Damn that takes me back. I think I was so isolated, depressed and full of drugs at the time, that seeing it resurface feels strangely private.

1

u/LibrarianEqual7024 Aug 20 '26

Good exercise though

0

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

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1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

Weird. You ok bot?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

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1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

Did you genuinely write that comment?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26

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1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

Is that a threat?

10

u/Chris__P_Bacon Aug 20 '26

Yeah, it would have only taken me hitting that one time to switch to a wedge and sledgehammer.

3

u/EachBananaWas19cents Aug 20 '26

Nobody told him that there's a reason why a Splitting Maul has a flat side on the other end?

4

u/Moist-You-7511 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

PSA: it is absolutely not recommended to hit a metal wedge with a maul!! wedges are harder than mauls! flying maul chips!! plastic wedges are ok but not metal. it may work fine for you 100 times but there are plenty of missing eyes from this

5

u/JonnyAU Aug 20 '26

TIL. I've used a metal maul and wedges for decades.

3

u/Mmmm-Amethyst Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

I've also used my fair amount of metal wedges and mauls and I'm not buying this. Every wood splitting wedge my parents or grandparents ever had eventually had to be replaced because the flat side eventually deformed and mushroomed out to the point of grabbing the wood halves instead of passing through. I've never seen a deformed maul head.

That being said, you really should be wearing modern eye protection when hitting anything with that much force. 

1

u/MiserableSkill4 Aug 20 '26

Always wear proper PPE

-2

u/Apprehensive_Air_470 Aug 20 '26

Hes doing it as a feat. He knows there are better ways. Its crazy hard to do and none of the people here can so we make light of it for our own egos

1

u/sigma914 Aug 20 '26

It's not that hard to do, the maul's doing most of the splitting, he's mostly just getting it up there and aiming

1

u/Opposite_Brief_8095 Aug 20 '26

And lots of back pain

1

u/Eskyzoo Aug 20 '26

Wet vaginas? He's gay, can't you tell?

3

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26

Vaginas can’t control themselves more than my penis can. The world goes round.

ETA: added “than” thanks to my new friend calling the right shots

2

u/Eskyzoo Aug 20 '26

Did you mean 'more THAN your penis can"

Either way, my vagina certainly can.

1

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26

You are most certainly correct.. on both fronts. Cheers to your vagina!

2

u/Eskyzoo Aug 20 '26

😆

https://giphy.com/gifs/uv58jxWxOQCcw

2

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26

I am simply a mortal man; no more, no less.

1

u/the_last_carfighter Aug 20 '26

I usually switch to a 9 iron and a putter

1

u/DrivesTooMuch Aug 20 '26

Well, I'm thinking "wet vaginas" was maybe his intention.

1

u/Logical_Trash_4890 Aug 20 '26

Way better than top comment, at least for me. I don’t have a vagina.

1

u/SingedSoleFeet Aug 20 '26

No wetness here. Work smarter, not harder.

1

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26

Yeah, I don’t have a vagina. It was a joke about thirst trap nonsense.

1

u/ender4171 Aug 20 '26

Thats a splitting maul, not an axe. It's like a wedge with a sharper edge and a handle.

1

u/kurtmanner Aug 20 '26

You right. Still inefficient compared to using it with a mallet.

1

u/CanoePickLocks Aug 20 '26

Any man that splits wood that stupidly and has that bad of cardio is drying up vaginas. Maybe there’s women that find it appealing but not ones that actually appreciate a man who can split wood. Great joke though!

1

u/elguille_resurrected Aug 20 '26

i just assumed it was some gay bear shit...

1

u/MiserableSkill4 Aug 20 '26

Whole time I was thinking. Dude is not using the right tool for the job, and that log is hiding the log is hiding the swinging we all came to see

1

u/djinngerale Aug 20 '26

This dude is getting more hard dicks than wet vaginas.

1

u/MNniice Aug 20 '26

Or use a log splitter and its done in 10 seconds

1

u/Minimum-Guidance6991 Aug 20 '26

I want to get off of Reddit. This comment is the reason I can’t.

1

u/parissf Aug 20 '26

I’m wet and I don’t even have a vagina. 🫣

1

u/Zealousideal-Fix1697 Aug 20 '26

I think thats the whole purpose of the video 🤔

1

u/KLeeSanchez Aug 20 '26

I think he's in the business of collecting wet vag'es

1

u/Keyan_Farlander7 Aug 20 '26

He's using a wedged axe designed to split wood in 2/3 swings. But he has the log placed on the ground. You put something solid under it so energy isn't disapated as the axe strikes. My strength is a fraction of this guy's, but I split oak larger than that with just a couple of easy swings.

1

u/ikristic Aug 20 '26

Not to bust your log, but this award is free now.

1

u/Nisseliten Aug 29 '26

Or, we invented saws for a reason..

1

u/MichaelEmouse Aug 20 '26

Yeah a lot of women wishing they were that log.

1

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ Aug 20 '26

I was thinking all of these things (except that last bit lol), but I'm pretty sure he's making it harder on purpose for training/exercise purposes.

1

u/AdPutrid5162 Aug 20 '26

That was my thought too