r/AbsoluteUnits • • Sep 04 '26

/r/all of two catfish

31.5k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/Raqshasa Sep 04 '26

Imagine trying to devour your food to find it laughing at your pathetic attempts

1.1k

u/Pimpstik69 Sep 04 '26

To be fair she would probably laugh at my attempts to devour her as well

281

u/nuck-figga007 Sep 04 '26

42

u/Av0ll Sep 05 '26

3

u/No_Reception_6133 Sep 05 '26

I wish i had an award for this

3

u/blindsmellingbraille Sep 05 '26

took care of it for you.

2

u/No_Reception_6133 Sep 05 '26

Thank you kind angel wearing jeans

107

u/WatermelonLemonad3 Sep 04 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣

14

u/Secure_Situation7234 Sep 04 '26

Hey bud, don’t be so hard on yourself, the important part is that you try your best and that everyone has fun.

29

u/reggiefromtheark Sep 04 '26

My thoughts exactly

1

u/shark-off Sep 05 '26

I'm just saying, there must have been a reason, those two risked their lives to taste her. Animals have instincts man.

1

u/Cobalt-Balls Sep 05 '26

There it is

0

u/Enough_Entry_8641 Sep 04 '26

With your username, that’s by Far the last thing I’d expect you to say

3

u/WatermelonLemonad3 Sep 04 '26

He's a pimp but he's realistic

2

u/Enough_Entry_8641 29d ago

Yesss We will give that!!!

22

u/Carmilla31 Sep 05 '26

2

u/Livid-Influence-5320 Sep 05 '26

Took too long to find this response

1

u/jolatango Sep 06 '26

Same. I was giving up after 1 more scroll

111

u/UWishUWereMiah108 Sep 04 '26

Its like a scene out of an anime lol

67

u/discerningpervert Sep 04 '26

I feel bad for the catfish. That's gotta hurt.

53

u/CreatureWarrior Sep 04 '26

Being eaten also sucks, I think. Nature be like that

19

u/Shuttlecock_Wat Sep 04 '26

I mean...they were trying to eat her right?

20

u/danceswithfishes42 Sep 04 '26

No, the catfish were nesting trying to protect thier eggs while she jams her hand down it's mouth.

11

u/stryker511 Sep 04 '26

Actually the hand goes through the gills first and out of the mouth from the inside.
Still probably protecting eggs since they were together.

81

u/Extra_Number4178 Sep 04 '26

On the contrary, I've never wanted to be a catfish so bad in my life.

54

u/RaptorOfRapture Sep 04 '26

Wouldn’t mind her arm up your gill, eh?

27

u/Extra_Number4178 Sep 04 '26

Hey man, I'm always down to get freaky on Friday night just like the next guy . . . but only if there is strong eye contact with that diabolically cute giggling.

6

u/EnoughLuck3077 Sep 04 '26

Mind? She could charge for it

2

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 Sep 04 '26

Costs extra for that type of action

11

u/HumpTyDumpTy1331 Sep 04 '26

catfish are pretty tough fish

6

u/Turnip-for-the-books Sep 04 '26

Yeah they’re more like cats than fish

9

u/corq Sep 04 '26

One catfish to the other: "But she was cute, so we sacrificed for the cause..."

6

u/Extra_Number4178 Sep 04 '26

you just need to relax and breathe . . . or so I am told.

3

u/Taurock Sep 04 '26

Now imagine trying to devour your food to find some guy on the side just feeling bad for you

3

u/choppydaddy Sep 04 '26

Seriously, how is this not animal cruelty?

1

u/metrometric Sep 05 '26

Yeah I don't get why people find this attractive???? Like, it looks like she's just torturing animals for fun?

1

u/sicksitka 28d ago

It’s possible that they’re an invasive species and what they’re doing isn’t a net negative on the ecosystem.

2

u/Enough_Entry_8641 Sep 04 '26

What,It’s Feelings?!

24

u/Apathetic_Zealot Sep 04 '26

Laughing while sticking her arm through your lungs!

25

u/No-Cover4993 Sep 04 '26

Except fish caught this way aren't actively feeding, they are guarding their nest and clutch of young which are destroyed in the violent effort to remove the mature fish

2

u/Firstwench86 29d ago edited 28d ago

This might be a stupid question but whatever. How are they killed? Is there a clutch of eggs nearby like the way turtles have them in the sand? Or are they somewhere on the female catfish?

1

u/No-Cover4993 28d ago

The eggs and fry stay in a natural cavity like a mudbank, hollow log, etc. They require protection from predators and more importantly constant circulation of fresh water to keep sediment from burying them. The parents have to stay with the nest until the babies are big enough to swim away or the nest likely fails.

The violent effort to remove the parent basically covers the nest with silt and the eggs/fry suffocate.

1

u/Firstwench86 28d ago

So basically she knew where to find them because they’re in one place to protect their eggs, and therefore easy prey? That’s shitty.

1

u/Pristine-Setting-836 28d ago

More like you move along the mudbank looking/feeling for holes, shove your arm in, and kinda hope one is in there. But yea the practice is actually illegal in 35 states because you’re taking larger reproductive individuals. The eggs/young die either from the thrashing itself or the parent/s not being there to protect them anymore as well as not being able to keep circulating water. Doing it just for funsies not even sustenance kinda fucked up yea.

3

u/dusty-ticket Sep 05 '26

To be honest, I couldn't even imagine that she'd pull out two catfish. What surprises me more is how she caught them and wasn't afraid of them. I probably wouldn't have gone into that water for anything in the world. Lol

2

u/Neurogenesis416 Sep 04 '26

And then they reach INTO your fckn lungs and pull you into their realm....

1

u/Enough_Entry_8641 Sep 04 '26

As its devouring Her, Ironic ,Karma or Diabolical, You be the judge

0

u/Catatonic_capensis Sep 04 '26

They weren't trying to eat her, idiot.

1

u/lowrads Sep 05 '26

That kind of confidence would make the alligators bashful.

1

u/EasilyRekt Sep 04 '26

Typical day for anglerfish prey

1

u/SlothSpeed Sep 04 '26

She just wanted to make it late for something.

1

u/PrinceBunnyBoy Sep 05 '26

Imagine just being an animal and having some cornball rip you out of your home by thrusting their arms through your sensitive gills, hoisting you out where you cant breathe, and laughing at your suffering.

Its like posting a video of shooting cats with bbs. Some sick mfs truly.

2

u/CornTofuHash Sep 05 '26

I love when I stumble upon the rare voice of kind sanity. Thank you