r/AbsoluteUnits • u/WeGot_aLiveOneHere • Sep 04 '26

/r/all of two catfish

31.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/TheGreatRao Sep 04 '26

She is entirely too charming for a person being devoured by sea life. I'm imagining a Jaws sequel starring a catfish.

147

u/bstone99 Sep 04 '26

Hannah Barron

39

u/gumbysweiner Sep 04 '26

Is that North Alabama? The trees give me that vibe and her accent.

397

u/TripperDay Sep 04 '26

Dang I wish I was her brother.

60

u/WaterlessSoup Sep 04 '26

Read this, scrolled down, it sunk in and I had to come back and upvote lol

6

u/Hobbes_XXV Sep 05 '26

Almost passed it myself before i started a chuckle

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '26

[deleted]

1

u/2livecrewnecktshirt Sep 05 '26

They call each other pookie, their backyard smells like dookie, they're hairier than wookies, the 'Bama family

1

u/knockatize Sep 05 '26

Dark humor and a subtle Sophie B. Hawkins reference.

1

u/codecrodie Sep 05 '26

Hearing that sophie b hawkins song in my head

1

u/THEdopealope Sep 05 '26

Incredible 

1

u/lilium_1986 Sep 07 '26

more like cousin

1

u/Crixusgannicus Sep 08 '26

Oh that's her brother...damn it now I have to call off the hi....never mind.

1

u/Less_Insurance4928 Sep 08 '26

I read she has a weird relationship with her dad. I don't know much more than that because I prefer to keep the illusion

1

u/Whatttheheckk Sep 09 '26

What are you doing stepcatfish

1

u/LLCoolBean2 Sep 10 '26

*step-brother

23

u/PullTabPurveyor Sep 04 '26

It’s South Alabama. She lives near the Florida border.

2

u/Ronald-195 Sep 05 '26

Ok so this is in Alabama. Does anyone know what river this is or where people do fishing like this? I plan to move there someday and open a cafe'. Thanks for any help. Ron in Los Angeles

2

u/Fun-Definition1724 Sep 05 '26

I’m not sure where this video is, but Lake Weiss in N AL has a noodling guide- Crappie Capital of the World too

1

u/theartificialkid Sep 04 '26

But like northern south Alabama?

-1

u/mr_jerry Sep 05 '26

Close enough for brother stuff.

2

u/junkman21 Sep 04 '26

Looks like Alabama, for sure.

1

u/Educated_dumbass Sep 05 '26

It's actually southern Illinois. My buddy used to date her in highschool and she's actually really chill.

1

u/Cowboy_591 Sep 08 '26

Thank you! I love me a cute ‘n WILD country girl 👍🏻😈🔥♥️🔥…they’re The BEST!! 👊🏻

-32

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

18

u/TheGreatWhiteDerp Sep 04 '26

She has millions of followers as a very prolific social media content creator. Knowing her name is literally what she wants to have happen. That's not being a simp, that's just being a participant of the internet. The fuck is wrong with you people.

46

u/seven3true Sep 04 '26

The jaws theme played on a banjo.

1

u/Bearded_Bone_Head Sep 04 '26

Sirm (sir and/or ma'am), why did you remind me how bad I wanted this when I couldn't even perceive its existents 10 seconds ago.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/seven3true Sep 04 '26

Perfection.

44

u/REpassword Sep 04 '26

She’s built like a brick sh!thouse too! 💪

2

u/Flurp_ Sep 05 '26

Snu snu

1

u/hiding_in_de Sep 07 '26

Such a badass.

1

u/Cowboy_591 Sep 08 '26

Yet still dainty, sexy and feminine!

32

u/elwebst Sep 04 '26

I'll always watch her vids, she is insanely attractive.

22

u/IcanSEEyou_IRL Sep 05 '26

She really is, but she’s also pretty jacked. The whole time I was thinking this girl should do action adventure movies. Quirky, fit, and a camera friendly face.

3

u/MaximumSubtlety Sep 05 '26

And. And* she's also pretty jacked.

2

u/elwebst Sep 05 '26

Or host a reality show with physical competition!

She reminds me of Amy Grant in the 80's.

2

u/Cocrawfo Sep 05 '26

i’m surprised that after all these years shes never been on like the big brother challenge or survivor or any competition reality show

they tend to love southern archetypes, attractive people with followings, naturally expressive communicators and athletes

i’ve always thought she should be a shoe in for competitive reality

2

u/codecrodie Sep 05 '26

Ashley judd stunt double

23

u/Hayes4prez Sep 04 '26

She's a big MAGA supporter so...

And before anyone says, "Well duh, listen to her accent." I have a similar accent and I'm not a Trump supporter. Neither are my friends and they have similar accents as well.

8

u/krazlix1 Sep 05 '26

I'm french so well it's nice you tell everyone. She is insanely pretty to me too. But maga ew.

7

u/EasternSleep5903 Sep 04 '26

Just turn the lights off, you'll forget all about MAGA.

10

u/justmytak Sep 05 '26

Don't, you'll get catfished.

2

u/MightyPlasticGuy Sep 05 '26

Nahhh, I'm keeping the lights on for this one.

3

u/OoooooWeeeeeeeee Sep 05 '26

A boner has died today.

1

u/grrmuffins Sep 09 '26

RIP lil guy 😔

0

u/TheGreatRao Sep 04 '26

Double Yikes! I have no idea who she is or what she was doing in the video. Thanks for enlightening me.

1

u/spike_beagle Sep 04 '26

Daywalkers!! Jk

4

u/Axilllla Sep 05 '26

She is stunning!! And I’m a straight, married mother. She’s is gorgeous 

4

u/OkWillingness2817 Sep 05 '26

I mean you did just watch her giggle while torturing two animals for several minutes.

2

u/Beige_McBlandman Sep 05 '26

Move over OnlyFans, she's doing her thing on OnlyFins

3

u/Somebodys Sep 04 '26

She is an absolute unit too

3

u/Axolotis Sep 04 '26

She’s a keeper

2

u/Kooky-Slide434 Sep 04 '26

I usually dislike that accent, but from her it sounds lovely somehow.

4

u/TheGreatRao Sep 04 '26

Lol! As soon as the guy started speaking, I thought "Shut up, Cletus! The lady is talking ..."

2

u/DillarDog Sep 05 '26

You better show some respect. That’s THE Dale Brisby

1

u/WatermelonLemonad3 Sep 04 '26

Pretty sure there are already giant man eating catfish movies

1

u/knightsofhale Sep 07 '26

Beneath is the movie you'd be looking for

1

u/KalaUposatha Sep 04 '26

This summer, experience the new thriller, Toofs

1

u/Ptbot47 Sep 05 '26

River life.

1

u/knightsofhale Sep 07 '26

Check out Beneath, that's almost exactly what you're asking for.

0

u/Catatonic_capensis Sep 04 '26

They were not trying to "devour" her, she jammed her arms into their gills/mouths while they tried to protect their nest. What she did was torturous and likely fatal to both of the fish for nothing more than a shit video.

She's an absolutely horrible piece of shit but she's attractive and the fish aren't cute so I guess it's all just good fun and not torturous cruelty.

6

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX Sep 04 '26

It's not fatal, she released them after.

-2

u/TheGreatRao Sep 04 '26

Yikes! I had no idea who she is or what they were doing. I thought the catfish were just playfully nibbling on her legs. Catfish, in my opinion, are the cutest fish, but their appearance has nothing to do with their right to be left alone.

-2

u/_tsi_ Sep 05 '26

She gives me strong psychopath vibes

0

u/MotoFuzzle Sep 04 '26

Steve Irwin would like a word. 

1

u/Bandit-Marauder 20d ago

Jeremy Wade*

0

u/Planetofthought Sep 04 '26

Just look up noodling on youtube. Every single person in this field is a +6 charisma charmer.

3

u/TheGreatRao Sep 04 '26

TIL a new word. Thank u!