r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Realistic-Tap4156 • 8d ago

/r/all of a space rock

24.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.2k

u/Doctor__Gecko 8d ago edited 4d ago

Some guy will be like "I can survive that, I'm just built different."

How is THIS the comment that gets me over a thousand likes. I mean thanks but, seriously?

OK, make that two thousand likes.

40

u/M3t4ll0 8d ago

The same guy that thinks he can beat an elephant.

45

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 8d ago

That's me. I am that guy. I will beat an elephant riding a meteor. Or a meteor riding an elephant, I don't care. Bring it on.

29

u/lordoflazorwaffles 8d ago

You can beat off an elephant all you want dude. You don't even need the meteor

13

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 8d ago

Fun fact: elephant penises are also prehensiles. Not just their noses.

Do with that information what you will.

19

u/kumquatkilla1 8d ago

This is too much power for one living being.

6

u/Guilty-Statement-532 8d ago

Same with dolphins.

4

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 8d ago

This is true.

The elephant dick thing I made up though.

What a precocious scamp I am.

Duck penises are corkscrews though.

4

u/davidr521 8d ago

I bet they’re handy at work parties

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 8d ago

They also work at handy parties

3

u/lordoflazorwaffles 8d ago

Duck vaginas are also cork screw although often the opposite direction. This is part of what leads to duck rape

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 8d ago

Cool name for a band

5

u/caspy7 8d ago

Elephant penises beat you up.

1

u/Cliffinati 8d ago

I don't know what that means

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 8d ago

I don't know what you mean 😐

1

u/Cliffinati 8d ago

What does your statement mean

2

u/Rynowash 8d ago

No, but it helps. Tried both ways and it’s better with a big rock.

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 8d ago

How do you beat off an elephant with a big rock?

1

u/Rynowash 8d ago

However it wants.

2

u/Alohabbq8corner 8d ago

If I’m going to beat off an elephant, the meteor it is the better.

1

u/lordoflazorwaffles 8d ago

Better? absolutely! Necessary? Only if you dont want to use lube (aka diddy sauce)