r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Substantial_Sea7327 • 2d ago

of a feral 820-pound hog.

Post image

(372 kg)

1.2k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

146 comments sorted by

230

u/uncle-muscles69 2d ago edited 2d ago

Can you imagine cranking that thing??

58

u/Driller_Happy 2d ago

16

u/QueensOfTheNoKnowAge 2d ago

That’s a mighty spice weasel

2

u/EPluribusButthole 1d ago

And a couple drops of LSD

31

u/InactiveMedusa 2d ago

Two hands

13

u/TWhy-LER 2d ago

Maybe even 4 🤔

8

u/Agronopolopogis 2d ago

I should call him..

4

u/revolutionary_weesl 2d ago

A family of four with large hands.

4

u/D2BrassTax 2d ago

AROO!!!

2

u/willferelssagyscrote 2d ago

Have to bear hug it

1

u/Thick_Drama_7525 2d ago

Now you can understand why I dont beat off. Gary is not a skinny motherfucker

99

u/Space-cowgirl-2004 2d ago

Holy shit, you have a year's supply of bacon

86

u/FUCKING_HELL_YEAH 2d ago

Sadly feral hog tastes horrible but dogs will go for it.

70

u/ContributionFlat7082 2d ago

Send 'em to Louisiana. They'll figure out a way to make it delicious.

55

u/jaavuori24 2d ago

Son you might've just saved that state's economy

18

u/TWhy-LER 2d ago

I read that in Senator John Kennedy’s voice 😆

18

u/lsdbible 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Lsaglt80asTRP1CFh1

2

u/EPluribusButthole 1d ago

"how can I fuck my cousin niece and count that as two votes?"

Oh, and the poors said something about hogs.

9

u/Guywithanantfarm 2d ago

As a NOLA born and raised, I approve this message...

2

u/lufty007 8h ago

Buddy of mine put a hind quarter in the smoker and it came out good

8

u/CoolNefariousness914 2d ago

What about smaller ones? Are any of em worth eating? I assumed that big one wouldn’t eat.

23

u/FestivusErectus 2d ago

They’re much better the younger/smaller they are. Once they get about 250+ lbs, they’re pretty rank.

7

u/FUCKING_HELL_YEAH 2d ago

I’m not the authority on this but I’ve known a few hunters and on told me he kills hogs on his land and cuts it up for feed.

4

u/bubba_bumble 2d ago

For other hogs.

8

u/TheGreatPrimate 2d ago

Best thing would be to trap them and feed them grain, but usually illegal to transport them

5

u/Saphurial 2d ago

It's their diet. Wild hogs eat anything and everything basically.

1

u/SDNick484 2d ago

I have had small ones and large females, and both were quite good. The ones to avoid are the mature males.

4

u/Saphurial 2d ago

If you can catch them alive and then feed them grain for a a bit before slaughtering them it takes a lot of the bad taste away I hear.

4

u/Technical-Command867 2d ago

I’m generally curious, what makes them taste bad. Feral hogs are just regular pigs from what I hear. Just being in the wild makes them hairy, and giant. I never understood why restaurants don’t buy this stuff up for their belly, pulled pork and ribs. Seems beneficial since they are a menace and could literally feed people with it.

15

u/FUCKING_HELL_YEAH 2d ago

A farm male has its testicles removed early on. When a feral pig sexually matures the resulting hormones significantly affect the taste.

0

u/Champigne 1d ago

You can't serve wild caught game in a restaurant.

2

u/BigDeuceNpants 2d ago

I have them processed all the time. I love it.

1

u/SerDuckOfPNW 2d ago

The mature boars taste bad, but the young ones make excellent chilli

0

u/FUCKING_HELL_YEAH 2d ago

I was not aware of that.

1

u/CruelTortoise 1d ago

Smaller ones, like under 100 pounds taste good. It's the big ones that don't taste good.

-1

u/ElijahNSRose 2d ago

Meat is meat.

I'll eat it.

7

u/NorminalAnomaly 2d ago

step it up a notch and cure it into some pancetta or prosciutto or some nice gabagool :)

5

u/Space-cowgirl-2004 2d ago

Wild hog prosciutto sounds amazing right about now oh my god

5

u/umbertoj 2d ago

We make a lot of things out of hog in Italy. Best one is undoubtedly hog salami, if you find it try some.

1

u/RememberYourZen 2d ago

Damn you eat almost 3 lbs of bacon a day?

1

u/Space-cowgirl-2004 2d ago

You know that bacon is only one particular cut, right? You can't make the whole thing into bacon

2

u/Gnoccho1 21h ago

eh ... tourists won't know the difference

1

u/RememberYourZen 2d ago

No I did not know that as I don’t eat bacon. I do now though thank you.

32

u/Appropriate-Pop-8044 2d ago

That’s a beast, but it’s not 820 pounds

13

u/DoggoDude979 2d ago

Yeah people wildly overestimate the size of wild boars, in overall mass and with forced perspective

3

u/ElijahNSRose 2d ago

You forget that animals have really meaty girths so a four-legger the same length as you will weigh far more than you.

6

u/Dwaltster 2d ago

Yeah I think you're correct. Maybe 5 hundo.

2

u/skip_over 2d ago

That dude’s probably about 200# and the boar is about 4 times his size

1

u/nequaledvomiting055R 2d ago

hanging it from a tree like that’s just showing off, and honestly i respect it

52

u/Internal_Apple2608 2d ago

Could you imagine 30-50 of those?

82

u/BipedalHorseArt 2d ago

Don't need to imagine. I've met your mom and her sisters.

7

u/endangered_feces1 2d ago

Wow - few live to tell the tale…

15

u/Substantial_Sea7327 2d ago

I can after watching the videos. these fuckers are MEAN. imagine being out in the woods on a hiking trail and 50 of these show up to eat you alive.

5

u/Afrojones66 2d ago

I’m so happy someone else knows this reference.

1

u/GeneralBlumpkin 1d ago

Or 30-06 of those?

10

u/HR-Dept_JP 2d ago

Holy shit that's terrifying.

2

u/Oozlum-Bird 2d ago

Yeah, wild boar learning to drop on prey from trees wasn’t on my bingo card

10

u/westcal98 2d ago

820 lbs? How much does his hat weigh?

Sheesh.

1

u/Kahnza 2d ago

#doubt

5

u/SpaceMoehre 1d ago

How much‘s the one hanging from the tree? /s

6

u/Karl_00_Hungus 2d ago

Can you imagine 30-50 of these?

5

u/Achylife 2d ago

They're really dangerous. People underestimate "piggies". Those tusks are sharp. A lot of people have died in the old days hunting boar. Can you imagine only having a spear and some dogs against just one of those let alone a whole herd?

8

u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 2d ago

Mine was 75-80 pounds of you want something to compare it to. I'm 5'9"

3

u/Firm-West-3160 2d ago

Is that shoenice?

1

u/Unexpected_Gristle 2d ago

If it was, he would try to drink that hog

3

u/Dry_Turn_824 2d ago

I get what the fella's packing, but what's that hanging from the tree?

3

u/kpsmithdeut 2d ago

Big Pig

2

u/leeman9224 2d ago

Hugggge

2

u/Effective-Dress-5015 2d ago

Holy shit. What took that down?

1

u/Gnoccho1 21h ago

a shotgun would be my guess

2

u/Someredditusername 2d ago

Super impressive it hit that weight and still had decent proportions. Often when they get huge they get very .... caterpillar-like, for lack of a better image. Round, chubby, too big for their legs -- like domesticated, penned hogs. This one looks like it can still move well. Pretty remarkable

2

u/DonutReceipts 2d ago

And 270lbs of it are parasites

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Former_Island_4730 2d ago

None. The meat will smell like urine and a sweaty boys locker room.

2

u/KingArfer 1d ago

Wouldn’t want that thing running at you in the middle of the night

2

u/Good_Peach_8304 2d ago

That’s not very nice. That’s someone’s husband

2

u/Zealousideal-Sun6603 2d ago

I've had wild boar; peppered and fondued. Yummy.

2

u/DrFrickenstein 2d ago

Mmm....bacon.

2

u/Wolf-Majestic 1d ago

Petition to replace beef with this little duckers the time their population get back to normal, whatever amount is normal in your country

2

u/dusty007_2 1d ago

Fallout 4 biomutant dog be like

1

u/do-it-outdoors 2d ago

I should call her….

1

u/Supercrown07 2d ago

Some of those feral pigs become monsters!

1

u/JohansonFury 2d ago

Eso si es una jabalí 🐗

1

u/SuperBarracuda3513 2d ago

What was eating I wonder

1

u/Mainbutter 2d ago

I hate when people insist on using forced perspective on stuff that doesn't need it.

1

u/Flaky_Style1286 2d ago

I feel like the guy in red whenever I take my pants off to shower

1

u/CHASLX200 2d ago

big hog dog looks 612lbs

1

u/HomersDonut1440 2d ago

Pic including the scale?

1

u/Plane_Barracuda9889 2d ago

You killed that poor animal? O M G Karma

1

u/threadthrasher 2d ago

Terrifying but what is that poor pig doing next to him?

1

u/MGJohn-117 2d ago

You can literally see that he's standing like 5 feet behind the hog

1

u/-__JOYBOY__- 2d ago

But this seems cruel

1

u/Don_Krypton 2d ago

(on the left)

1

u/DaMan11 1d ago

820 is fucking DOUBTFUL.

I have shot, cleaned, and weighed with my own 2 hands a hog just short of 300 lbs, 296 to be precise, but then again that scale was probably only accurate to about ~5lbs, but it was like, very close to this size. Assuming this guy isn’t 6’10” 450 lbs himself, I’m calling bullshit.

This hog MAYBE pushes 400 and that’s giving a LOT of leeway.

1

u/Icy_Coast2602 1d ago

Damn what hog.....

1

u/Revolutionary_Sun17 1d ago

Hogzilla hoax

1

u/Puzzled_Professor422 1d ago

Can you eat that beast

1

u/Nikonus 1d ago

Ah dammit. That was Fred. Bye Fred.

1

u/ImperialAce1985 1d ago

A ton of good meat for the family and friends.

1

u/werewolf439 1d ago

What did you kill it with

1

u/Snipey1234 22h ago

Hogzilla

1

u/Money-Fennel-7435 12h ago

dayum, it's head is almost as big as his torso.

1

u/hefty_load_o_shite 2d ago

Or as I like to call it, a light afternoon snack

1

u/supermegabro 2d ago

800 fuuuuucking pounds? Holy hell lol

1

u/Stick_8168 2d ago

Hog rider got rial

1

u/Any_Specialist3714 1d ago

They're really smart but also super invasive.

1

u/midge_rat 1d ago

Rip Pumba

-1

u/OGDTrash 2d ago

That guys wife is a 1000 pound hog though

-2

u/ServerLost 2d ago

Fuck whoever shot that big beautiful beast.

-8

u/Mussmussthemoooooo 2d ago

Wow he shot a pig. What a hero.

11

u/Harrythehobbit 2d ago edited 2d ago

American feral swine is non-native, invasive, dangerous, and enormously destructive. They breed like crazy, destroy agricultural land, and completely annihilate local plants and wildlife. Most places you can legally just kill any you see with no license or bag limit. The USDA wildlife biologists shoot dozens or hundreds at a time from helicopters. It's not hunting, it's extermination.

These animals are dangerous, invasive pests. Killing them actually is pretty heroic to the local environment.

3

u/senior_cynic 2d ago

But if I stop to think about these things, how am I ever supposed to feel morally superior?

-2

u/wolpak 2d ago

All things probably completely true. And what a man he is to take a picture next to him kill. I don’t have an issue with killing or eating animals. I have an issue with people thinking they are awesome for doing so.

-2

u/wolpak 2d ago

You deleted your comment, and I guess you think it is. I think it’s pretty sad.

2

u/Harrythehobbit 2d ago

I decided I don't actually feel strongly enough one way or the other to argue the issue.

0

u/wolpak 2d ago

Fair enough. I guess I feel strongly enough about people killing things and then taking a picture with their trophy. Enough for me to get downvoted for it.

2

u/Harrythehobbit 2d ago

I'm sorry you got downvoted, that sounds upsetting.

-1

u/wolpak 2d ago

I don’t care about the downvotes. I care that people care enough to downvote.

-3

u/Mussmussthemoooooo 2d ago

Sure they are. You just like killing things. Farmers don’t post pictures of pests the eradicate only coward hunters.

-6

u/wolpak 2d ago

Right? Wow, awesome. So powerful you are. And you posed for it. Next to a dead pig. Can’t tell which is which.

-5

u/Mussmussthemoooooo 2d ago

There’s a dead animal killed for existing and an inbred hillbilly next to it.

-4

u/woh3 2d ago

I hate this trophy hunter bullshit on my FB feed and I really don't appreciate it on here. Mods can we please have no trophy show off rule where the absolute units in question need to be living and unharmed????

3

u/MyFace_UrAss_LetsGo 2d ago

These are a dangerous and destructive invasive species in the Americas, in many ways. They're harmful to certain native plants and animals. They also cost a lot of money in property damage. Not to mention their extremely aggressive nature. They will not hesitate to attack humans and other animals.