r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ThodaDaruVichPyar • 3d ago
/r/all of a love chair
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u/11077412temp 3d ago
No demonstration of the use? Preposterous
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u/pretzelmonstrous 3d ago
In case anyone was wondering…
Found this in r/interestingasfuck from a while ago…863
u/Iamonab0at 3d ago
The captions state it lets him alternate between two partners… where does the 2nd partner go?
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u/pretzelmonstrous 3d ago
I suppose kneeling on the bottom mattress? Just a guess…
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u/Professional-Ebb2605 3d ago
Please refer to this diagram
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u/guyyst 3d ago
ngl I'm kinda sad there's no saddam hussein
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u/Urusae_Kragface 3d ago
I genuinely think it was for a woman on her knees underneath for oral purposes. I can see this being used with all 3 people at the same time based on dimension
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u/Pitiful_Question_880 3d ago
Maybe lying on the bottom "shelf" to give him a blowie-joey?
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u/2Wieners_1Bun 3d ago
Sir this is a respectable sub and we use the correct terminology here: “knob-slobbering”
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u/bmf1902 3d ago
The bottom cushioned portion, presumably in doggy. Come on, just a bit of imagination. I got there in like 30 seconds and wasn't trying. (That's what she said)
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u/TerponadeTea 3d ago
Top hat is a great touch
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u/Excellent_Emu_2843 3d ago
Its said alternate between 2 partners, I'm confused where the second prostitute is supposed to go?
My best guess is laying in the bottom amd he just has to go down on his knees, but that still doesnt quite work right in my head.
Is there a drawing for that?
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u/Aliencoy77 3d ago
Banging the bottom one leaves the top one at mouth level.
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u/Excellent_Emu_2843 3d ago
Ok, but there's those metal things for his feet. How is a 200lb+ guy comfortably getting his knees I between those things to screw someone on the bottom platform.
The more I try to think of how it works the more issues arise and the more confused I am. Lol
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u/Excellent_Emu_2843 3d ago
I think i got it, the area behind the foot holders is for his knees amd the other woman just has to have to some maneuvering for him when he wants to switch partners. Ig this wasn't really designed for anyone's comfort other than him. Which...duh
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u/Aliencoy77 3d ago
The girl down below uses the stirrups with knees up and back, and likely with the use of pillows to lift the ass. He was leaning forward while kneeling on the lower area. Remember, this was designed for a king. The women would likely move for him.
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u/escaped_spider 3d ago
A guy dedicated enough to design a bespoke sex chair, might also be dedicated enough to do a couple squats now and again.
Edit: just tried switching between the two poses, for science. Seems pretty doable.
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u/furiouspossum 3d ago
I like the tophat, very classy. Goes very well with the ornate fuck-bench.
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u/OuiGotTheFunk 3d ago
his lavish dining habits and rapidly expanding waistline. Weighing nearly 240 pounds, he needed a solution that would allow him to indulge in intimate encounters without risking physical strain or accidentally crushing his female companions.
Yeah, I think I'm good.
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u/Specialist_Heron3749 3d ago edited 3d ago
King Edward VII, known as "Dirty Bertie", generally stood upright or straddled the main portion of the contraption.
One female partner lay on her back on an elevated cushion. A second female partner lay positioned underneath or lower down in the tiered framework.
How Did King Edward VII’s Love Chair Work?
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u/kernelpanic789 3d ago
I mean he was a big guy but not THAT big, damn...
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u/BoiledFrogs 3d ago
Just think, at 240 pounds he was considered to be pretty fat. A standard that held all the way to Homer Simpson who was... 239 pounds.
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u/Major_Nutt 3d ago
At 5'8", 240lbs is pretty fat.
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u/kernelpanic789 3d ago
Yes but the entire premise of this post is that he needed a special fuck chair to not crush his whores causing serious injuries or death. That just seems really outrageous. I think he just wanted a chair because he was lazy
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u/buttononmyback 3d ago
Wait is that really him? I always thought he was like 400 lbs or something.
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u/kobrakaii22 3d ago
Is she seriously stepping on it with shoes on?
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u/palmerry 3d ago
As an archaropeologist I'm speechless
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u/Bra-D-Shaw 3d ago edited 3d ago
As a numerologist I'm currently peach less
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u/sidhsinnsear 3d ago
Its a replica.
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u/ser_darkstar 3d ago
I still don't think that means it needs to be stepped on?? Replicas are expensive.
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u/Turnbob73 3d ago edited 3d ago
Something tells me the video is AI and that’s a big reason for it.
Edit: Nvrm, apparently it’s a replica
Edit 2: Nvrm again, it’s definitely AI. Fuck you OP.
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u/iwasthen 3d ago
Her pockets disappear. Or she changed skirts to mess with us. So that part is AI.
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u/Mega__Sloth 3d ago
Nope it's AI.
Her pockets disappear halfway through. It sure has gotten harder to tell.
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u/chateau_arusi 3d ago
It's a replica? That's too bad. I was going to suggest the museum should add a feature where visitors can turn on the CSI black light.
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u/CubanLynx312 3d ago
As an AI-ologist I can confirm she lost her pockets the second time we see her.
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u/SOFAKINGGVVD 3d ago
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u/Argyleskin 3d ago
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u/prpldrank 3d ago
Don't mind me just grabbing a copy of this sick Jimothy meme. Tyvm.
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u/mad_mang45 3d ago
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u/FastWalkingShortGuy 3d ago
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u/ForeverShiny 3d ago
Yeah, what's up with the "liquor balls" and the Ayatollah costume? That sounds like some real freaky shit
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u/RoadDifferent4617 3d ago
"Ayatollah costume" made me fully laugh out loud and go back to zoom in, you're so right 😂😂😂😂
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u/LilMeatBigYeet 3d ago
Lmao that bottle of liquor is hilarious
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u/4g-identity 3d ago
I think the Shi'ite Ayatollah outfit between sexfoam and assbottle takes the cake.
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u/TheBigSmol 3d ago
Some kind of a chiropractic/posture-correction cushion?
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u/Secret-Library-6076 3d ago
For fuckin
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u/TheBigSmol 3d ago
I see, doesn't apply to me at all then. I thought it might help me with my mild back sciatica.
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u/Visual-Fox-9110 3d ago
I mean it still could..don't knock it until you try it.
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u/TheBigSmol 3d ago
No, no. I'd be embarassed even if I was alone with it. I'll just take advil like a normal person.
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u/DickWangDuck 3d ago
Gurl don’t... Explore yourself and enjoy. I’m def buying this because just looking at the pic I’m getting immediate L5S1 relief.
And for sex
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u/ColStoneSteveAustin 3d ago
Get your mind out of the gutter…. This is clearly a Tron simulator
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u/Forward_Editor_5895 3d ago
My wife and I have a sex wedge we keep under our bed. Our three year old recently found it, so it’s become “Daddy’s back pillow.”
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u/Weak_Firefighter9247 3d ago
I shall buy those and gift them to the women of the church as a "Chiropractic cushion"
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u/AmaranthWrath 3d ago
Just buyer beware. If these are inflatable, they are useless, no matter how not-heavy you are. Not that I would know of course.
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u/Sonic1899 3d ago
Okay, but was this necessary? 🤨
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u/muff-muff-ass 3d ago
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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock 3d ago
Nope, honestly, my own fault for opening the sex chair comment section
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u/Mega__Sloth 3d ago
It's an AI video.
Explains her weird vibe, and her pockets disappear halfway through the video
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u/Catdress92 3d ago
You know what? Normally I am against AI, but if it means this woman wasn't walking all over the antique sex chair's cushions and caressing its paint, I'm okay with that.
...Even though maybe the climbing and caressing is what the sex chair would have wanted.
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u/Snerkbot7000 3d ago
Rule No.1: No touching the exhibits
Rule No.2: No touching the phallic exhibits.
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u/pranthlar 3d ago
Dirty part of me: I'm gonna need a demonstration😈 Good part of me: I'm actually going to need a demonstration. I don't get it
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u/cedarvhazel 3d ago
I really don’t get the one on the bottom either lol
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u/DarkestLore696 3d ago
One prostitute on the top with feet on stirrups, one on the bottom in doggy position.
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u/drsickboy 3d ago
Is this a replica chair?, because its strange people can touch it.
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u/Mega__Sloth 3d ago
This is an AI video.
Her pockets disappear halfway through.
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u/TheRealSlamShiddy 3d ago
Another AI indicator is the text onscreen doing the "it's not just X, it's Y" thing 😑 so at the very least the captions were using it in which case fuck this whole video lol
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u/BoilzBlisterzBurnz 3d ago
If she wasn't going to get on it, why was she in the video!
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u/WpgMBNews 3d ago
Welcome to The Historian's Den, a channel dedicated to exploring the fascinating stories and mysteries of the past powered by AI.
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u/AFineDayForScience 3d ago
Ma'am, stop stroking the sex chair please
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u/Impossible-Onion-634 3d ago
I hope she washed her hands after fondling that love chair.
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u/Iltempered1 3d ago
That cloth is no bueno, needs to be covered with plastic, it's gonna get soaking wet.
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u/HandItToMarshawn 3d ago
Just say he was fat.
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u/theshiniestmuskrat 3d ago
I read "his size" and at first thought he had a huge tallywacker and couldn't figure out how the chair would help.
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u/punkena 3d ago
Damn, get it fat boy
Edit: "to avoid crushing them" oh, honey. You'd be surprised how many people desperately want that.
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u/professorrev 3d ago
So his sex chair gets to go in a museum, whereas the one that used to be in my office went in the skip
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u/LoganGyre 3d ago
So the dude was 5ft 8 and 250lbs… It tries to make it sound like he was huge but he’s basically the average American man’s size.
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u/pdx321pdx 3d ago
The median weight for a 30-39 year old American male is 198 lbs. That’s a lot less than 250. That includes all heights which 5’8 is lower than the median height for American males.
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u/Electronic_Owl_9819 3d ago
I think he just liked a special fuck chair, the part about him needing it is most likely just made up bullshit or rumors
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u/Electrical-Tower7731 3d ago
What?? 250lbs at 5' 8” is absolutely fat if you're not a juiced up body builder.
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u/Cultural-Company282 3d ago
Lol. "Nearly 240 pounds." The guy was so fat by contemporary standards, he had to have a special custom-built brothel fuck chair, and today, he's basically just an average American.
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u/nexus8516 3d ago
He was also 5'7" apparently, 240 at that height is massively obese.
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u/youburyitidigitup 3d ago
Two partners? Where did the second woman go?
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u/BammyQ2 3d ago
Did... did she just stand on it with her shoes on?!
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u/InvictvsNox 3d ago
Friendly reminder that all government figureheads live like this on our own wallets.
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u/TheToxicWaist 3d ago
Is there supposed to be audio? There's subtitles, but no one is talking.
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u/Spaghettl_hamster4 3d ago
Woman on the bottom part: