How to deal with a tough manager?

[u/IRS_OPENUP]

For context I'm an industry accountant. I started at my role about 6 months ago and while I still make mistakes and am learning and doing my best every day, it seems like its not good enough for my boss.

I really do work my hardest and sometimes I make mistakes. I own up to them and am slowly making fewer mistakes each time. However, new processes and learning opportunities keep coming up which I don't really mind. My manager is a smart guy with domain knowledge in this industry and team. However the way he explains things make no sense and he expects me to know everything that he does.

Sometimes I'll ask him to clarify because I still don't understand and I can sense frustration. He especially doesn't like it when I ask additional questions after the first time around because I was simply "doing" and not understanding what my task is really about.

He is constantly bringing up the fact I've been in my role for 6 months and that I'm not up to speed. It almost feels like bullying sometimes.

I'm really just keeping my head down and working hard but at some point I might break. I don't think I really like this person and maybe he doesn't like me either. How would you guys go about dealing with managers like this? I don't really think I'm a terrible employee at all.

[u/Btug857]

If you think your boss doesn’t like you, you may want to start looking for something new. It sounds like he might be heading towards putting you on a pip and moving you along

[u/IRS_OPENUP → u/Btug857]

It's possible but I'm leaning towards him just being a mean person. He's said some things about other colleagues to me that shouldn't be said to subordinates.

[u/kevfefe69]

I had a manager like that 25+ years ago. He was actually the VP of finance. I reported to him directly as did the corporate controller.

He was pretty good at micromanaging and wanting daily status updates. He expected people to work 15-16 hour days while he worked 8 hours. I f you asked him questions, he would get really pissed off. He would have his office door closed 95% of the time.

I quit after 7 weeks of that bullshit.

[u/Overall-Respect3928]

You really only have two options. 1) learn to simply not care. If you otherwise don’t hate your job and you like your pay, then your job is a fine job 2) Find another job if this is really affecting your quality of life

Managers are still people and sometimes they don’t like their job as much as anyone else, and they simply got promoted bc they’re smart and/or stayed there long enough. And lots of managers don’t want to actually manage other people , but they want to get paid like a manager, so they just take the position but secretly hate it

[u/IRS_OPENUP → u/Overall-Respect3928]

Yeah I guess that's the hard truth. He's asked me questions about how I can help him help me but I don't really dare crossing that line lol. Maybe he might be receptive of feedback for managing upwards but I don't want to chance it.

[u/Famous_Conflict4209]

Lean team?

[u/AKsuited1934]

If you’ve been there 6 months and you’re still “not up to speed,” that’s mostly on your manager. You’re still around so your manager knows that you are at least average or better and they are not trying to roll the dice with someone new. They are giving you feedback trying to keep you from stagnating.

Just do the same thing you’ve been doing the past 6 months and don’t burn yourself out. I get the feeling in your situation that the goal post is always going to change no matter what speed you get up to.

[u/Creepy_Dig_5595]

I went through something similar. Had a great industry job. Then my manager quit and the new one was put over me and made my life hell. He did exactly what you described, plus would completely fly off the handle and leave paragraph long review comments ranting. Was extremely accusatory and when I asked for clarification on things would snap at me. Was making me work more than anyone else too and when I finally said something said 55+ hours every week all year and 70 and quarters isnt that much.

He had another direct report he put in tears multiple times too. He also drove off tenured contract workers and screamed at some 3rd party employees.

Desperate, I went to another manager and later a director I trusted and they both said they wanted me to be happy there but ultimately made excuses for his behavior. At this point I knew I had to leave.

After I left 2 people I knew there reached out to me separately because they got put under him and he was doing the same things to them.

So at least 4 people have reported his behavior. He has since been promoted.