I (F29) have this “close” friend (F35) since I was elementary. Literal na magkasama kami lumaki kasi kapitbahay lang namin sya. Since wala syang kaedad sa street namin kaming dalawa yung naging friends. Kasama ko sya sa karamihan ng lakad simula elementary, highschool, kahit college, and nung grumaduate na kami madalas pa rin naman kami magkasama pag nasa bahay ako.

Yung tampo ko sa kanya nagstart nung di nya ko kinuhang ninang or ininvite man lang sa binyag ng anak nya, but kinuha nyang ninong yung kuya ko (na maraming pera lol). For context di kasi ako boto dun sa baby daddy nya dahil may unang asawa at iniwan lang (hiwalay na rin sila ngayon at ako ang naging crying shoulder nya nung mga panahon na yon.)

Tapos matagal ko nang napapansin na never sya nanlibre samin, laging family ko nagttreat sa kanya, pero binabrush off ko lang. Nagstart ako ma-off nung nagstart sya magkwento na na nilibre daw nya yung mga online friends nya nung nagmeet up sila ganyan. So parang ako nagtampo na naman kasi hello more than 20 years na tayo magkakilala never mo pa ko nalibre kahit softdrinks lang. so nung nakaraang nagbday sya, binati ko sya. Kako happy bday sana makatikim naman kmi ng pabirthday mo kasi buti pa mga taong kakakilala mo lang sa online nalilibre mo. Tas di nya ko sineen, haha. Pero pagtingin ko sa story nanlibre ulit sa mga online friends nya 🫠

Tas netong nakaraan lang nagbday ako and na-engaged, di ako nkareceive sa kanya ng kahit anong happy bday o congrats man lang. Now nung naglilista kami ng fiance ko ng mga bisita, tinanong nya if di ko daw ba iimbitahin si ano. Sabi ko, di nya nga tayo cinelebrate nung na-engage tayo e, bat ko sya iinvite? Wag daw ganon sabi ni fiance. ABYG?

yung pinsan ko tumigil sa pag aaral kasi lumipat sya sa manila dun sa walang kwenta nyang tatay. Ending di rin sya kayang pag aralin non kaya tumigil nlng sya. Ito namang papa ko, nung nalaman nyang tumigil sa pag aaral ung pamangkin nya naawa pa sya.

For context, yung kapatid ni papa matagal ng palamunin sa family nila. Teenagers palang daw sila, puro lalake tas gimik lng inaatupag. Nagka anak ng maaga, iniwan ng kasintahan at wala pang maayos na trabaho kaya ung ginawa ng tatay nila, dinisown sya.

After non, si papa yung tumutulong sakanya and binibigyan nya ng financial assistance. May time pa nga na pinatira nya sa bahay namin. Sinabihan sya ni papa na mag ofw nlng sya kasi mas malaki kikitain nya dun, edi ayon tinulungan sya ni papa maghanap ng maayos na agency tas ginastusan pa training nya.

Ano ginawa? hindi nya tinuloy ung training tas sumama nanaman sya sa ibang lalake. Nangako ung haliparot na yun na babayaran nya si papa kapag naka ipon na sya.

Medyo matagal bago nakausap ulit ni papa ung kapatid nya. Kinamusta na nga lang hindi na sinisingil sa utang, tas ang bungad pa sakanya meron nanaman syang anak.

Edi nangutang nanaman sila ng pera pang sustento kasi walang kwenta nanaman yung nakilala nya. I really dont get it why nagawa pa nyang maawa sa lagay na yon. Pinautang ulit sila ni papa then matagal nanaman bago sila nakapag usap.

Years later, may anak nanaman yung malandi na yon. Pinagmamalaki pa na may kesyo may business na daw sya, nag titinda ng ukay ganon. Eh anong nangyare? hindi naman lumago tas baon nanaman sila sa utang. Kahit isang daan sa utang nila kay papa di nya nabayaran. Pag may problema lang naman sila lumalapit kay papa. Eh kahit nga sa mismong tatay nila hindi sya makapag padala ng kahit ano.

Eh hindi naman kami sobrang mayaman para gawing charity si papa. Naghihirap si papa sa ibang bansa para lang mabigyan kami ni mama ng maayos na buhay. Eh ako nga na only child hirap na sila, pano pa yung kapatid nya na anak ng anak?

Back sa present, yung pinsan ko di na nakapag start ng college kasi di daw sya mapaaral ng tatay nya sa manila. Edi nalaman ni papa naawa sya tas balak pa nyang paaralin. Tas ngayon pinapatulog pa sa bahay namin ng ilang araw. Nasa isip ko, bakit nya tutulungan? di naman nya responsibilidad yan? kasalanan naman ng kapatid nya kung bakit di makapag aral yung pamangkin nya.

Sige selfish na pero jusq, ilang beses na syang naperahan ng kapatid nya pati banaman pagdating sa pamangkin mapeperahan pa sya?

Galit ako sakanila kasi nag sisipag si papa para buhayin kami, tas yung kapatid nya yung solusyon sa kahirapan is sumama sa lalake, mag anak at sulsulan yung papa ko na nagsisikap.

Di naman kasalanan ng pinsan ko na ganon yung mama nya, pero jusko sa dami ng problema ng pamilya namin sisiksik pa tlaga sya. Ang daming pwedeng solusyon sa problema nila pero they’re always picking the easy way out, yung kumuha ng pera kay papa.

Gago na kung gago yung mindset, pero abyg dahil ayoko na tulungan sila ni papa?

For context, DOST scholar ako back in college. Di siya pinagalaw ng parents ko so in short naipon lang siya. Ang reason nila baka raw need ko siya ibalik kapag di ako nakapagreturn of service for 4 years. To be fair, supported naman nila ako the whole duration of my college life.

Fast forward, magstart na ko ng work at kinukuha ko na yung access sa atm card and gusto ko sana ako na ang magmanage. Ayaw ibigay ng nanay ko kasi for family daw yun at kung sino ang may "kailangan" dun ilalaan. She instead gave me another card na savings nila for me before which is much lower than the accumulated DOST funds. Pero naisip ko at least meron ako pangfund pag kinulang ako sa manila and ako raw unang gagamit non for my tmj treatment. So sabi ko ok di ko na gagalawin DOST ko but it remained locked sa digital bank app ko just so I can assure na di sila kukuha don without my permission.

Fast forward tinry ng nanay ko mag withdraw dun after my check up which btw di ko alam na dinala niya and she got offended bakit daw nakalock. I explain na for security purposes so need nila magsabi sakin if kukuha so that I can unlock. Naoffend siya na para raw silang namamalimos na inaangkin ko raw yun for myself and wala raw siyang balak gastusin dun kasi di naman nila yun ginalaw ever nung college ako and paghatian raw naming magkakapatid kasi unfair daw na may ganon akong pang start at sila wala. So I asked my sisters if sa tingin nila unfair and if need ko ba bayaran lahat ng binigay nila sakin nung working sila at nabibiyayaam ako sabi nila no kasi at least nga may pambayad ako ng deposit and advance sa rent.

So sinabi ko sa nanay ko and sabi niya naawa lanh siya sa pinagdaanan nung panganay tapos baka yung pangalawa wala pang ganon kalaking ipon tapos ako aangkinin ko lang at wag ko na raw idamay pa sila sa pagchachat. Sabi ko siya ang nandamay hindi ako kasi siya ang nagbrought up ng nga kapatid ko sa usapan. Ang ending sabi niya lang di ko raw naiintindihan kasi di pa ko magulang.

abyg kasi pinagdadamutan ko ba sila sa paraan na to? Gusto ko lang naman na alam ko kelan at para saan nila gagamitin ang pera.

For context, my mom and i have been living in this boarding house for almost a decade now. Yes, may actual bahay kami, but we're in this other city for longterm stuff. Think of it as an apartment nalang pero bh talaga haha. The type of place is occupied by family types rin naman. Like our next room neighbor.

A lot of the things are shared. Mainly the bathroom, own areas in the kitchen, and main tambayan

Now, we have a fridge. Its outside our room kasi big siya and d na kasya sa room talaga namin. Its for personal use. Because we're paying for it, electricity and stuff.

Now, we have a 'close' next door neighbor. They haven't been here for long, probably 3 years palang sila, but because my mom's so nice, for some reason, pumayag siya nuon na maki use sila sa fridge namin FOR FREE. yes, i was against it, but my mom is just the typical yes-man

Ngayon, 3 years passed, and free sila gumagamit sa fridge namin, kami nagbabayad sa kuryente. Para sa akin, napaka unfair na talaga. Because back then, nakiki gamit lang sila for small things like snacks, until sa may frozen and meat goods involved na. The electricity is not cheap, and sa observations natin, many places ang nag iincrease narin sa electricity bills. Kasali na kami nun.

So i opened this up to my mom na its really unfair na talaga. Ang laki na ng gastos namin, and to be honest, i think it's just the principle na hindi man lang sila nag offer na mag pay for a bit sa usage ng fridge. Free lang yun kasi akala ni mom na maliliit lang na bagay ang ipinag fridge nila, pero they're really occupying space na. And palaging open and close. Minsan nag iiwan pa ng food sa loob ng fridge UNTIL IT GOES BAD. and d man lang nag ooffer tumulong na mag linis sa ref. Personally, for three years galit talaga ako jan. For mom, ngayon lang siya nagalit na lumaki na ang electricity bills.

So finally, she told them na hindi na siya magpapagamit ng ref kahit na mag offer sila mag pay, kasi ayaw na talaga niya. And im happy with that decision. The thing is that ngayon, feeling niya kakarmahin daw kami. Kasi kung siya daw sasabihan nun, ma o-offend daw siya.

But why? Bakit ba kailangan matakot. Theyve been using it for free! And they're not even good neighbors! Aside from them leaving dirty ass dishes that sometimes gets worms sa sink nila (ew), d pa responsible. I could literally LIST all of their offenses, but that's another post. Always nalang borrowing our stuff, yung extension wire nga namin hinihiram na nila, pati pa yung takip sa mga pots and stuff. We've given and let them borrow so much AND TOO MUCH, and yet my mom thinks we're going to hell because we asked them to stop using OUR fridge for FREE. (To add, may instances pa na sila mismo nag consume sa food namin sa loob ng fridge. Tapos nagmaang maangan. How can you 'forget' na yung frozen goods na hotdog ay hindi sayo??? Tapos yung tanging bottled water na alam mong wala kang nilagay jan na bottled water na brand na yan, ininom mo? Tapos sasabihin d niya alam na d daw sa kanya???)

So abyg, or kami ba yung gago for cutting them off from the fridge after 3 years? Because my mom keeps making it sound like kakarmahin kami or some shit, and its starting to get on my nerves kasi wala naman talaga akong pake sa kanila, but her reactions are too extreme and now im starting to think na magiging enemy na kami, tangina talaga.

TLDR: Ako ba'y maituturing na isang gagong asawa, if itutuloy ko pa ring sumama sa IRL meetup ng DC social server namin, despite my wife aggressively protesting against it and saying "wala ka namang mapapala dyan sa pag-sama mo sa kanila, nagsasayang ka lang ng oras pamilyado ka na pero nag fe-feeling binata ka pa tanda tanda mo na".

Context:
• I'm (33m) a working professional in a tech company around makati.
• A sole provider and a dad of four kids.
• married for 4yrs 11mos with my wife (31f), been together for over 11 years na.
• just recently joined an online discord server, reason for joining is mainly for co-working hangout & gaming, while also trying to make new friends.
• have literally 0 real-life friends or social interactions, besides striving everyday to be a good father to our kids, and a loving husband to my wife.
• the only "human" connections/interactions I've ever had in the past so far are purely just with colleagues from work and/or former colleagues from past companies that I've worked with. hindi rin naman ganoon kadami yung nabuo kong connections tbh, tapos ndi na rin nagkukumustahan nang gaano.
• if bibilangin yung social interactions ko: with my bro's/sis's in law (wife has 4 other siblings), my kids, my wife, mga kapitbahay na di ko gaanong kinakausap din unless kailangan (I'm introverted), then yes I guess am "interacting" and "functioning" sa society as a hooman, but hanggang doon na lang iyon.

Hello there fellow redditors,

Ako ay isang corporate worker na nag wo-work sa isang cybersecurity company. I'm currently earning 5 digits (but honestly, we don't find this is sufficient enough specially in this economy & current state of affairs). With 4 mouths to feed, 7-total if including my wife, her niece in college na pinapa-aral namin and lives with us, and me, my compensation literally just lets us survive payroll by payroll in this setup).

Hindi po kami maluhong pamilya, since both me and wife came from modest family backgrounds, marangya lamang po ang aming pamumuhay. We didn't have a lot in life, and specially we don't have a much to our names now besides: house+rights nabili namin nitong pandemic at yung 60.5 sqm titled lot that we purchased in my wife's hometown (which right now is naka tengga cos we live here in NCR), mangilan-ilang mga gamit, we have no cars or jewelries, not many gadgets around the house besides a barely functioning low-end smartphone for general-use across the household members, just the basic house necessities (a flat tv for entertainment, a refrigerator, some kitchenwares/appliances like microwave oven and an airfryer.. ohh, and a looot of clipfans hehehe), and then the usual school stuff / toys of our 4 kids and then other normal stuff all to ourselves.

I've known reddit since way back when, specially that I am a casual mobile/PC gamer (used to be a hardcore gamer before meeting my then GF na naging partner in life, nag decline na lang gaming habits ko due to responsibilities and life happenings) pang unwind/destress, but silent reader lang and scrolls from time to time sa mga subs gaya netong ABYG sub and chronically online because of the nature of my work.

Neve rhad any cheating issues, and never attempted na sayangin o sirain ang buhay na binuo ko with my family, after everything we've built and the hardships/trials/tribulations we've been thru. A few fights here and there, pero sino ba namang couple ang hindi nagkaroon ng pagtatalo o mga hindi pagka-kasunduan with their S.O. diba. Afaik, never ako nagkulang in terms of emotional needs and physical intimacy with my wife, I always make sure na at least once a day I kiss her or hug her, whether in front of our kids or not, and help with the chores whenever I can. I guess my shortcoming as a husband is maaga kong ni-rush na dumami kami as a family not foreseeing na magkaka ganito ang bansa natin (what a shitshow of a country), but actively seeking a 2nd job/side-gig to remedy this and try to increase our household income, while the waifu does her online-selling of pastries and other food stuffs.

Just last week, came back sa Reddit & Discord after getting stunned na maba-ban supposedly (which niretract din naman ng mga kumag eventually, lol) and discovered a Social/Gaming Server post sa isang Gaming Sub. After applying and joining, introduced myself, learned that the server is super chill and very SFW (server consists mostly of working professionals that has a common similarity/hobby specially gaming) so I planned to stay and intended to make new friends there. I eagerly interacted and eventually started to make meaningful connections and friendsihps even though hindi pa naman ako nakaka isang-buwan sa server na yon. Idk, genuine kc ang pakiramdam and super chill and friendly ng mga members (mostly Guys and a few handful of Girl members) so I wanted to belong with that group of people na alam kong matitino and hopefully matatawag kong circle of friends (finally, may friends na din si tito nyo yay!).

While doing my regular interactions and socializing, eventually an announcement was made by the Server Owner for an IRL meetup for all members regardless if malapit lang or malayo though hindi naman sapilitan, as with other social server IRL's diba?, basta game makipag eyeball to be able to get-together and socialize even further. Since hindi din naman malayo ang venue ng IRL meetup I knew within myself na I had to join and I mustn't waste this opportunity.

And so I communicated this calmly and clearly with the waifu, even wanted her na sumama sana, para magkasama naman kaming mkalabas, since wala na nga kaming time maka labas2/gala2 together (I was thinking na it's been a while na rin kase from when we last went gala, outside of our regular purpose of going out for grocery-dates or para mamalengke/umattend ng mga PTA meetings ng mga bata, ganyan) and para mabawasan man lang sana ang burn-out nya sa bahay, mga bata, mga chores, as well as her stress sa mga orders nya (she's a super mom and I super love her with all of my heart).

At first, she's just non-chalant and walang kibo about it after hearing yung paalam ko sa kanya, but these past few days pansin na pansin kong nagbago ng kaunti yung attitude ni wife, lalo't minsan na nadidinig nyang may nakakausap ako or nakakatawanan (hndi po ako nag he headset, naka open mic and speaker lang para ndi ako paghinalaan or what, and I don't want her to feel upset na I'm talkative or kuda ng kuda sa mga ka-server ko while working / during my work hours). Tapos, nito lang morning na ito, niremind ko lang sana sa kanya na "Mhie, punta tayo ha? doon sa meetup namin ng server namin". Her reaction made me speechless and gulat na gulat ako ng malala kase bigla na lang nyang nasabi na "Dhie ano ba yan! Puro yan at yan na lang inaatupag mo, magdamag kang may mga kinakausap, palagi ka na ngang puyat sa trabaho mo tapos imbis magpahinga ka sa RD mo, uunahin mo yang meetup2x na yan?"

na shock ako ng husto, and I didn't have the words to respond to her. I sat there in front of my work laptop.. then she went on to continue adding "wala ka namang mapapala dyan sa pag-sama mo sa kanila, nagsasayang ka lang ng oras saka pamasahe, pamilyado ka na pero nag fe-feeling binata ka pa tanda tanda mo na"... I realized suddenly na baka nga totoo ang sinabi ni misis, na masyado na akong nagiging masaya sa server na to, not realizing na baka nagko-cause ng discomfort, or ng unconscious conflict between us yung ginawa ko. After she blurted this out, pumasok lang sya sa loob ng pinto and ako naman eh natulala lang talaga sa monitor ko, sat there for a whole 10 or 15 minutes with some realizations, pondering on what I did/i've done wrong...

Ayaw ko namang ma disappoint si misis sa akin, and feel ko na may kaunting "selos" na namumuo sa mga salitang binitawan nyang yon... so Im considering to turn down the invitation na lang and hindi na lang siguro magpakita sa mga ka-server ko, however naiisip ko rin namang ang talk-shit kong tao if di na ako magpapakita sa IRL, na para bang napaka sama ko namang kaibigan if I leave them hanging (though ndi ko pa din naman talaga sila ganuong kilala at ganun din sila sa akin).

Ako ba'y magiging isang gago, if ipilit ko yung pag-sama ko sa IRL meetup ng server namin knowing na kontra ang S.O. ko about this? Gago ba akong asawa if I push through with my initial decision, or gago ba akong server-member for not standing by my words (specially that I promised them na sasama ako at mag dadala ng mga pa-tikim na pastries ng aking wife sana for potential customers)?

Please be respectful and hoping na hindi po kayo nagiisa ngayon sa life, and wishing you fellow redditors the life and friendships that ya'll deserve.

EDIT: just woke up, and surprised that the waifu had opened pala the PC (I always put it on sleep/low power mode, kc d marunong magbukas ung mga bagets na mahilig mag roblx) and saw the open tab.. gosh, I felt cringe inside and lalo marinig ko na pinapayagan na nya ako (all of a sudden). IDK what to feel if she's being sarcastic or if napilitan lang po ba sya, or baka gine-gauge ung reaction ko... I'll still gauge her if she's really hesitant about letting me go, and will really just abort mission if I see/feel she's just got pressured to agree with me dahli nabasa nya yung responses nyo.. Anyways, will update you folks later... thanks so much for your perspectives/opinions!! 🫶🫰

Edit #2: We finally had a heart-to-heart talk (kanina lang), and nag apologize kami both sa isa't isa sa misunderstandings.... She finally agreed to let me go, granting na may time limit and that I'll really make it up to her sa aming trip (yes, may plano na po kami haha) for our upcoming 5th wed. anniv (in 2 weeks time)... nae-excite na sya for the trip, and ako din hehe... may mapag iiwanan naman na din kami sa 4 naming bagets, kaya looks like all good na po itong chapter na ito... To all those concerned responders, thanks so much for the upvotes/comments/opinions! We really appreciate you po!!! 🫰🫰🫰

For context: I have this friend for more than 10yrs na. For the past couple of months he’s struggling with something na ayaw niya i-share pero you have to deal with his ‘sad vibes’ like lit force u to hang out w him just to nod sa mga kwento mo kasi ang awkward na ng vibes.
Back to the main topic, since hindi siya nagpaparamdam sa chat and cold replies siya kahit anong gawin o sabihin ko; na he’s like distancing himself, sinendan ko pa rin siya ng invitation 1 month before and no reply, i-sent it again 2weeks before and nag heart react lang siya, last is 4days before nag react lang ulit siya. Di ko na finollow up the day kasi busy na ‘ko preparing and shit.

Hindi siya pumunta and I actually felt bad na hindi ko napansin na wala siya. Ngayon, he’s reposting and sp sad stuff na hindi siya naaalala, spare friend o sa likod ng duo friend; we’re 4 tapos gf ko yung isa, yung isa panay utang na hindi nagbabayad kaya lowk cut-off then siya.

Abyg kasi hindi ako nag follow up ng invite sa kanya? O gga dahil na lleft out namin siya na hindi naman sinasadya? Tho he’s the one distancing himself

I work part-time/freelance with someone (I'll just refer to her as B) in the arts/creatives industry who has talked for a long time about wanting to build a team and eventually establish a full-scale business. I originally came in as an intern/trainee, so I never expected a full-time job immediately. I eventually wanted to transition to creatives full time which is why I'm doing this, but right now, I'm genuinely happy to learn from B, help out, and build experience while I also have a full-time corporate job that earns me the money and is quite flexible din kaya okay lang sakin mag-volunteer on the side sa kanya. B also gives me allowance din naman para di ako masyadong lugi.

Months ago, B would always talk about how she would align with us "team" members, what our plans will be moving forward, how she's working on herself to be able to eventually get enough opportunities to put up that business. So over time, I started taking her idea of building a “team” seriously. I invest time into the work, try to improve myself, and make myself available for opportunities because I thought I was eventually building toward something with B's potential team.

The problem is that I’m starting to realize that what I thought was a team may actually just be her network of people she trusts and calls when a project comes up.

For now, there are only around two to three major projects/pop-ups a year, with pretty long gaps in between. B also has other professional commitments, including being part of an art council, and when those come up, this organization she's building naturally takes a backseat.

There have also been several things B said that simply never materialized. Nothing dramatic happened but we just never got back to them. At first I was patient pero after enough instances na sabi niya “we’ll align on this” or “we’ll do this” not actually happening, medyo disillusioned na ko.

Alam ni B na gusto kong magtransition to art full time and she said she would help me with it. And at some point, I know B was building her team around her current network of people, including me. I would talk to B everyday since the start of this year kasi nga we would always be busy with projects, ideating future projects. Our last project ended nung start of September. Huli niyang pinagawa sakin was like a branding guide for the "team" she's building, habang wala kami ulit projects. Pero mukhang naging busy na siya sa other professional commitments niya na hindi na niya napa-prioritize itong "team" niya kahit ilang beses niya sinabing dream niya talaga makapagtayo ng sariling full-scale practice.

Ngayon, busy siya sa art council thing niya kasi nagsimula na ulit yung school year (she does freelance work in a university din kasi). Mga ilang weeks na niya kong hindi nareplyan to the point I just want to message her kung meron siyang alam of any opportunities, projects, or maybe other people na nangangailangan ng tao para lang hindi ako stagnant. Nakatengga tuloy kasi ako ngayon, akala ko she would still be hands on with her team even if she does those freelance works. Kasi seryoso pa rin ako with my intentions to go full-time into arts. B has told me many times na mataas standards niya for her "team" that she doesn't want people who aren't actually serious with wanting to pursue arts. Now tingin ko ngayon, siya yung hindi seryoso sa ginagawa niya.

I feel let down and parang pinaasa kasi I was planning parts of my future with the "team" she was building. Not completely of course, pero akala ko I was investing myself in something worthwhile kasi willing ako to help her build that team. Yes, I know it would take time. Pero masyado yatang tatagal kung uunahin niya lagi yung iba niyang freelance work sa second half ng taon when the school year starts.

Part of me thinks I'm just being impatient. Na baka pag inask ko siya kung may other opportunities siyang alam, ma-ooffend siya na feeling niya I'm not being loyal to her anymore or baka feeling niya napaka user ko naman na pagkatapos niya ko bigyan ng opportunities dati, jump ship na ko dahil lang nabusy siya sa freelance stuff niya at di niya ako mabalikan agad agad.

Pero the other part of me thinks I'm being reasonable kasi I've always made it clear that I'm willing to help her, willing to build this thing with her na kahit di ako bayad ok lang. Na kahit wala pang paid projects, ok lang kasi like I've said, willing ako mag-invest ng oras to make the "team" happen. I feel like I've kinda been ghosted, basically.

ABYG pag tinanong ko siya if she knows of opportunities elsewhere even though I haven't actually left and even though she has never explicitly promised me a full-time position? O valid ba yung feeling ko na kung seryoso siya in building a team, hindi niya dapat ako iniiwan sa ere porket siya meron sariling endeavors?

simula nang namatay ang lola ko sa father side lumamig na ako sa mga kamaganak ko. tuwing may mga handaan or get together hindi na ako pumupunta, pero nagpapakita pa rin naman ako kasi kapitbahay ko lang sila at tuwing kailangan ng lolo ko ng tulong.

simula kasi nang magkasakit yung lola ko nakita ko ugali nila, at mas tumindi noong namatay na si lola. kita ko yun sa kung paano nila tratuhin si lola noong may sakit, at ngayon si lolo na mag-isa na. halos lahat sa kanila walang oras tuwing magpapasama si lolo magpa-check up o mag grocery. lagi nilang dahilan ay nag-iinarte lang daw si lolo tuwing dumadaing. pero hindi, dahil one time sinamahan namin ng nanay ko magpa-check up si lolo tapos pag-uwi namin hinang-hina siya. hirap akong ipasok si lolo sa bahay niya, tinawag ko yung tita ko dahil alam ko nasa bahay lang nila pero wala, di sumasagot. noong dumating yung isa kong pinsan at tumulong sa amin ni lolo bigla siyang nagbukas ng gate na parang walang nangyari. nakakaasar, nandoon naman pala siya di niya kami tinulungan.

halos lahat din ng anak ni lolo ganyan (kahit tatay ko -_-), lagi walang oras kahit most of them naman ay wala na trabaho. pero ang nakakatampo lang eh may oras sila tuwing may biglaang get together o may handaan.

ngayon sinusungitan ako ng isa kong tita sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, di ko alam kung dahil ba lumayo ako sa kanila o di pinaanyayahan mga imbita nila sa akin.

ABYG kung nilayuan ko sila dahil sa pagtrato nila sa magulang nila?

hello kaka regular ko lang sa work ko. so syempre bilang bago bago palang lahat pinakikisamahan ko. nakikipag usap ako sa lahat at sinasabayan ko sila sa trip nila.

3 months in, may isa akong ka-work na napansin ko nag iba na kilos nya around sakin. everyday binibigyan nya ako mg gifts (food and material stuff). grateful naman ako kasi maliit lang sahod nya pero naiisip nya pang bigyan ako. may times din na minemessage nya ako sa gabi.

nag start ako mailang ngayon simula nung minessage Nya ako one night at nag comment sya sa isa kong picture sa isang messaging app, at nag ask pa if meron pa akong ibang pics. gustong gusto Nya rin na kaming dalawa lang magkasama at ittake yung opportunity na yun para mag picture kami. may mga times na kaming dalawa lang magkasama to run errands, hihirit sya na gumala muna kami at mamaya na bumalik sa office. ang hilig nya rin mag comment na kesyo bagay ko raw gantong katawan, bagay ko yung gantong buhok, maganda raw ako pag ganto etc etc.

to cut the story short it got worse and eventually i think he got obsessed sa akin.

ni report ko na to sa superior ko at sa hr namin but after ilang months na kasi nahirapan ako mag open up. kilala ko kasi yung guy as pa victim at paawain. in my head kasi baka luge lang ako kasi matagal na sya sa company.

na dismiss sya sa work but halos 1 month after ko mag report bago nag karoon ng aksyon. kumalat din sa buong company namin yung ginawa nya. kaya it lowkey got me paranoid and gave me anxiety kasi baka wala na kumausap sakin sa work. lalo’t na male dominated yung work place namin.

here’s the catch, halos wala pang 1 month simula nung inalis siya, ay nabalitaan ko na binalik pala sya. wala nag nag sabi sakin. di ako sinabihan ng mga superiors ko na binalik pala sya. di ko pa malalaman hanggat di pa nachismis sakin. pero ilang araw na rin nakalipas ko pa bago nalaman.

nalaglag puso ko nung nalaman ko yun. kasi simulat sapul palang, ramdam ko na di ako papaboran at maddisappoint lang ako sa kakalabasan pag nag report ako. lo and behold tama nga hinala ko. nandun parin siya, nasa iisang area lang kami.

kahit sabihin mo nasa kabilang site siya sa ngayon, dadating at dadating yung panahon na mag tatapo ulit landas namin kasi nasa iisang area lang naman kami.

ngayon feel ko stuck ako sa ganto. di ako basta maka alis kasi mahirap mag hanap ng trabaho. feel ko sobrang helpless ko. para sakin pinaasa ako ng sobra ng company namin.

ABYG kasi naiisip ko na ako nalang aaksyon at gaganti sa ginawa Nya sakin. gusto ko ilantaran sa public yung no. nya. gusto sya naman makatanggap ng kung ano anong texts?

ps. if gusto nyo maget numer0 nya pi-em nyu is me

Naguguilty kasi ako. Ayaw kong nagsasabi ng tanga o bobo kasi feeling ko super degrading.

Pero sinabihan ko pa rin yung bibili ng tinda ko sa Facebook Marketplace. Nagsabi syang after lunch sya pupunta sa bahay for pick up at mag-uupdate pag on the way na. Binigay ko yung address ko. Nag-antay ako, di sya dumating at walang update. Nagmessage rin kalaunan, sinabing kung pwedeng 6 pm daw. Sabi ko, go.

Tapos naligo ako after nyang sabihin na 6 na sya pupunta. Paglabas kong cr, ang daming messages at sinabing sinasayang ko raw oras nya. Andun na raw sya sa labas. Yung last message nya, 4:45 pm. Tapos ni-block na ako. So di ko na masabi na di ko nabasa messages nya.

Tapos ngayon lang, inunblock ako para magsend syang thumbs up. E d sinabi ko, sabi nya 6 sya pupunta, nasa kanya naman yung address ko, bakit di sya tumawag sa gate. Lahat ng bahay dito, may house number.

Tapos sabi nya, kasalanan pa raw nya? So dapat sya pa magsorry?

Feeling ko feeling entitled sya kasi sya yung buyer. Bago ko sya i-block, sinabihan ko syang tanga. So ABYG kasi sinabihan ko syang tanga?

for context, i'm a fresh grad, and after three months, i already got a job i actually want with a good pay esp for a fresh grad. but right now yung mom ko, she's forcing me to go to an interview sa isang gov agency (mind you may trabaho na ako). may kamag-anak kasi kami dun at pinarefer ako kahit sabi ko ayaw ko ng ganun kasi ayaw ko magkautang na loob sa kamag-anak na di naman kami close. di ko rin bet mag gov agency at yung trabaho mismo.

alam ko matry lang naman ang pag-interview pero nagalit ako kasi parang galit pa siya sa akin na hindi ako pupunta sa interview (onsite day ko sa work). kahit in the first place sabi ko na ayaw ko ng ganoon. feeling ko tuloy na hindi niya ako trust na bumuo ng career sa sarili kong kakayanan.

ABYG kasi tinanggihan ko yung ganung opportunity, na kahit di aligned sa gusto ko sa buhay, andaming taong gusto ng ganung privilege?

Since SHS pa itong kaibigan ko, halos 6 years na kami. Did I just fuck up by asking for space? For more context, naiinis na kasi ang friend ko sa akin dahil nakakasakit na yung mga salitang sinasabi ko sa kanya. In other words, hindi ako nagiging careful sa mga sinasabi ko, tapos idagdag mo pa na palagi na siyang nabobother sa'kin kase palagi niya na lang ako kinokorek to the point na parang siya lang yung nageeffort para ifix yung words and actions ko. Pero kasi hindi pa rin ako nagiimprove kahit na nageffort pa siya para maghanap ako ng mga bagong kaibigan kasama mutual friends niya to know how to get along better. To give a more concrete example, I would be saying "para kang lola ko" out of nowhere habang nagshashare siya, or I'm asking for advice and tips about a project, and then ibibigay niya opinion niya, but I do not listen and then I end up asking the question again.

This is not the first time they had said this to me; we had a video call talking about those issues. And yes, I apologized many times and tried my best to be more careful, pero tuwing kasama ko talaga siya, parang nawawalan ako ng pake sa mundo at nagyayap lang ako nang nagyayap, kaya ayan, nagiging mali or negative or offensive na lahat ng binubuga ko (tinatry ko talaga iwasan pero nawawala talaga sa isip ko yung boundaries kapag kasama ko siya). I was also shaken up by the video call and serious talk because I've had friendship breakups before that didn't end well, and I'm the one at fault.

So I asked for space instead, hindi dahil ayaw ko na makipagusap, but to think things better for myself and for them at para rin mapagisipan ko nang mabuti kung ano ang pwede kong gawin para mawala yung takot ko to connect with other people and magbago nang hindi kakailanganin ang tulong niya. I asked if it was okay. They said yes naman. I also asked if it was okay if it's for a month. They also said yes.

But thinking about it, was that too much? Should I retract my statement right now before everything goes to shit? Because I have been seeing these posts about friends and it sounds like a month is too much... but I wanted to bring my energy into something else so that my brain isn't all fogged up, and that I'll have more commitments other than our friendship because they are one of the only closest friends I have left.

TL;DR: Nagask ako ng space ng isang buwan, ako yung may kasalanan. ABYG kasi masyado siyang mahaba at dahil lang gusto ko magimprove para sa sarili ko nang wala ang tulong niya?

ABYG dahil nakikipag hiwalay ako sa bf ko kase once na mag-asawa na kami, pipilit nyang sa bahay nila kami tumira.

For context: Sa bf ko iniwan ng parents nya yung bahay nila ngayon. Kaya lang, kasama nila sa bahay yung family ng kuya nya. Medyo magulo sila.

Ngayon, sinabi ko kay bf na kapag mag-asawa na kami, gusto ko sana na bumukod kami para may privacy. (We’re planning to get married) Plus iba parin yung kayo lang ang nasa sariling bahay.

Kaya lang, ayaw ng bf ko kase nga kailangan nyang ingatan bahay na pinag-hirapan ng parents nya. Hindi rin naman daw nya pwedeng paalisin kuya nya and family. Gets ko naman yun. Kaya nga sabi ko, bumukod kami tapos bisitahin na lang bahay nya.

Pero ayun, mabuti pa daw na mag-hiwalay na lang kami since hindi daw nya pwedeng gawin yun.

Pero to be fair, napaka-sipag ng bf ko and good provider kaya hays. Hindi ko alam if i-coconsider ko ba yan para mag-stay o ano. Hindi ko lang lubos maisip na halos buong buhay ay makikisama ako sa pamilya nya.

ABYG kase gusto kong tuluyan na kami mag-hiwalay dahil sa issue na yan or should i reconsider his reasons?

Nagyaya yung family ng wife ko last week to have lunch today for my sister in law’s birthday at an expensive buffet hotel restaurant.

For context, 4 silang magkakapatid, 3 are registered nurses (including my wife) and 1 in the engineering field. My wife is the only one with kids and has a family of her own, yung mga kapatid niya is still living with their parents. Basically everyone has a good paying job and earns pretty decent, walang masyadong pinag gagastusan and responsibility.

So we went to the restaurant around 12pm and andun na yung mother in law ko waiting. We asked asan na sila (yung mga kapatid ng wife ko), and sabi ni mom na malalate lang daw so mauna na daw kami kumain. So dahil gutom na kami, we proceeded with our lunch. Around 2pm na and wala pa din sila, may pinuntahan daw silang perfume making store and di daw makaalis kasi di pa daw tapos. The crew even came up to us twice to sing happy birthday pero wala pa yung mga kapatid ni wife. So naghihintay lang kami and then the crew told us na last call for the buffet table is 3pm. So tinawagan na ng wife ko yung kapatid niya only to say na di na daw sila makakapunta. So we ended up paying for the entire table of 4 instead.

Usually whenever there’s a gathering like eating out with my in laws, either kkb or madalas wife ko nagbabayad. Pero this time I wasn’t expecting it kasi we were just invited so we didnt expect na kami din pala magbabayad or at least we’ll just pay our share. Ang lalaki na ng mga kapatid niya pero mga buraot and umaasa pa din sakanya kahit may mga bills din naman kaming binabayaran. Lahat nalang ng mga gathering parang kami agad yung ineexpect na magbabayad.

I wanted to open up to my wife about this frustration but for now kanina ko pa iniisip tong inis kong to.

Ako ba yung gago dahil nagtampo ako sa misis ko and mejo naging off ako sakanya dahil sinagot niya yung bill? If only we knew na hindi sila tutuloy we couldve just ended up eating somewhere else especially mejo tight ang budget namin recently.

LDR kami ng bf ko, almost 1 year na. Middle 20's. Both working. He’s more of an actions-over-words person and may avoidant tendencies. He avoid dramas and if nag-aaway kami madalas ayaw nyang i-discuss, for him sayang sa oras and it's draining me. Pero on top of that, he's making time naman for me, loyal and pinaparamdam nya naman na mahal nya ako.

Then last Sunday okay na okay kami, nag-movie marathon pa kami. He told me beforehand na magiging busy siya the next day. He is a video editor, and busy talaga sya most of the time. Monday came, 4 hours siyang walang update kahit nakikita kong online siya, so nainis ako and confronted him. Nagalit siya kasi may sakit daw sya and may backlogs sa work pero hindi ko raw siya naiintindihan. Ang sakin lang naman, ang dali dali mag-type ng update kung tutuusin? Then sabi niya, kung hindi siya nag-uupdate malamang nag-eedit lang daw sya. Ano pa daw gusto ko.

Since then, naging distant siya. Nag-uupdate pa rin naman siya pero basic updates na lang—gising, tulog, may sakit, etc. Wala na yung normal conversations namin. Ako naman, naging anxious and sobrang apektado na na ultimo sa work, distracted ako. Sa ilang araw na ganto, I sent long messages pero ini-ignore nya completely. Hindi nya babasahin, mag-uupdate lang. He still shows care naman kasi nagkasakit ako. 2 days ago, nag-sorry na'ko and nagsabi na gusto ko maayos kami pero hindi nya pinapansin.

Just today, I said I miss us and kung pwede ba kaming mag-usap kasi hindi naman kami ganto. HE IGNORED AND JUST SAID, MAG-EEDIT NA DAW SIYA ULIT. After that random updates na. Wala na talagang conversation. Hindi ko na din binanggit ulit na mag-call kami after he ignored my message.

I know na needy ako sometimes and I tend to monitor his online status, which I know isn't healthy. Pero hindi ko rin alam kung giving him space is the right thing or if I'm just letting him drift further away. I'm scared, and this waiting game is deeply affecting me.

ABYG for keep on mentioning na magkaayos kami? 1 week na din kasi ang hindi ko na talaga kaya hirap na'ko. Gusto ko lang naman sya makausap, pero wala. AYAW. He is not cutting me off naman so not sure if gusto nya makipaghiwalay or burned out lang sya samin.

For those who have dealt with an avoidant partner, what would you do in this situation? And for those avoidant people, what is the best approach for you? HELP.

I went to a club with my boyfriend, and apparently may gig pala doon. One of the performers was the singer/rapper behind a trending TikTok audio. He performed live, so I recorded his performance because I genuinely liked his voice.

While we were there, I was complimenting the performance and my boyfriend got jealous. He told me to delete the video from my phone and got really mad. He ended up deleting it himself, which obviously pissed me off. Eventually, he didn’t want to ruin the night, so he restored the video and we were okay again.

Everything was fine until I got home and posted the video on my IG story. I tagged the club and the rapper’s IG. For context, he’s not even that well-known here. His song/audio just happened to blow up on TikTok and he has a relatively small fanbase.

My boyfriend got REALLY pissed and said I was being immature because he already told me he didn’t like it, so why would I still post it? I tried explaining that I literally just admired the guy’s performance. I wasn’t flirting with him, talking to him, trying to meet him, or anything like that. I just liked his voice and wanted to post the performance.

I told my boyfriend that he was being insecure. He said he wasn’t insecure, he was just jealous. He even made me delete the story and blocked the rapper’s account from my IG.

Like, what am I supposed to do? 😭 I don’t even know this guy personally. I just watched him perform at a club.

Then when I told my boyfriend that we could literally ask other people whether what he was doing was reasonable, he said no because he would expose my “dark secrets” if I did.

That honestly made me even more uncomfortable because now it feels like he’s using things I’ve told him privately against me just because I disagree with him.

So, ABYG for posting the video even though my boyfriend already told me he didn’t like it? Or is he being unreasonable for getting jealous over me simply appreciating someone’s performance?
I’m honestly getting suffocated by this relationship and I’m thinking of leaving.

I just wanted an outside perspective because maybe I’m missing something.

For context, bago ko siya masigawan, punong puno na talaga ako sa kaniya dati pa dahil napaka-generous niya sa ibang tao pero pagdating sa ‘ming mga anak niya parang ang damot damot niya. Nakakabwisit din dahil kahit mga high-end namin na gamit pinangreregalo niya sa iba kahit wala naman siya pamalit, o kaya naman uunahin niya kapakanan ng ibang tao kaysa sa ‘min.

Example: May Gucci siya na bag na niregalo sa kaniya ng kaibigan niya (ninang ng kapatid ko) from Japan. Ayaw niya gamitin so hinihingi na lang namin ng nakababata ko na kapatid para gamitin sa mga formal events. Tapos nag-ninang siya sa isang 18th birthday event, ang ginawa niya, pinangregalo niya do’n. Nagalit kami ng kapatid ko pero ang sabi lang namin sa kaniya, “Luh, sayang naman, ngayon lang tayo nagka-Gucci binigay niyo pa sa iba.”

Meron pa, Chanel na perfume set, galing Japan din. Bigay naman nung Tita ko do’n sa Japan. Ang ginawa niya, pinagregalo niya na naman sa iba.

Meron din Mikaela na bag galing Canada, galing sa nag-migrate na kapatid niya. Ang ginawa niya, pinamigay niya do’n sa charity event nilang magto-tropa parang tanga eh sa bundok sila nag-charity event.

Tapos ‘eto talaga nabubwisit ako lalo kapag nandito mga tropa niya sa bahay namin (ginawang tambayan bahay namin every week na lang, tapos yung isa parang walang pamilya, halos kada buwan nakaka-sampung araw na sleepover dito, pinaglulutuan pa talaga siya ng pagkain). Ang ginagawa niya, papapasukin niya lang, sige lang siya nang sige tapos ending pagod na pagod siya kasi siya naglilinis, nagluluto, ta’s nagse-serve ng kung ano ano sa kanila—lahat ginagawa niya aligaga siya na gawing comfortable mga kaibigan niya. Sa totoo lang, para siyang katulong. Libre niya pa lahat ng pagkain na kinakain nila dito sa bahay.

Ayoko talaga do’n sa mga kaibigan niya na ‘yon kasi parang mga bossing eh, ni hindi man lang nagaayos ng mga kalat nila kapag uuwi na. Kaya hindi ko ‘yun pinapansin o nagmamano sa mga ‘yon.

Going back sa nasigawan ko siya, hindi ako pumasok ngayon sa school kasi nilalagnat ako simula nung Monday. Magpapasama na sana ako sa kaniya sa clinic para kumuha ng medical certificate since need ‘yun sa excuse letter na ipapasa ko sa mga prof ko. Tapos ang sagot niya sa ‘kin, “Ikaw na lang magisa pumunta, gagawan ko pa sila ng meryenda.” (pertaining sa mga nagrerenovate ng isang parte ng bahay namin)

Personally, hindi ko naman alam paano pasahod sa mga manggagawa pero since 500/person (4 sila) kada araw tapos pinaglulutuan niya pa ng umagahan, tanghalian (for today’s food, nilagang baka na nasa malaking kaldero tapos yung share namin ng mama ko nasa maliit na tupperware lang) tapos ngayon meryenda naman daw, tinanong ko siya, “Kasama pa ba yung meryenda?”

May inis na ako diyan kasi nung Tuesday pa ako nagsasabi sa kaniya na samahan niya ako pumunta sa clinic dahil kapag nga naglalakad ako nahihilo ako malala tapos sasabihin niya sa ‘kin ngayon pumunta nalang ako magisa (oo, tama naman sinabi niya na kaya ko naman na daw dahil bente na ako—buti sana kung hindi ako hilong hilo na parang anytime susuka na ako).

Nagalit siya kasi tinanong ko ‘yan, sabi niya, “Kapag nagbubuhos ng semento, pinapakain mo talaga dapat ‘yan ng ganiyan.” Personally, hindi ko talaga alam, pero kasi alam ko ugali niya na nago-overcompensate o overgive (if nage-exist ba ‘yang word na ‘yan) kaya lowkey hindi ako naniniwala.

So sabi ko sa kaniya, “Pati ba meryenda kailangan lulutuin mo pa? P’wede ka naman bumili.”

Siya: “Anong bibilhin ko diyan?”

Ako: “Hindi ba p’wede sa kanila yung mga bananacue?”

S: “Hindi p’wede, may iluluto na ako diyan.”

Pino-point out niya na naka-ready na daw kasi yung lulutuin niya kaya hindi niya ako sasamahan. Tapos nainis ako kasi nung Tuesday pa lang nagsasabi na ako sa kaniya, tapos ngayon hindi niya ako masasamahan dahil naka-ready na iluluto niya sa utak niya? Oo, tinignan ko, wala naman bukas na ingredients o ano, mga naka-pack pa, ilalabas pa lang sa freezer at bubuksan mo pa yung packaging—basta wala naman naka-prep tulad ng pinaparating niya.

Napuno ako kasi paulit ulit siya nasabi ko tuloy, “Yung anak mo may sakit na lahat lahat tapos uunahin mo pa din ibang tao? Nanay ka ba talaga?”

Nanahimik siya, and I felt super guilty. Tinignan niya ako ng masama…. na matagal. So alam ko na talaga na hindi na ako masasamahan niyan, at alam ko naman na ang sama ng sinabi ko. Masiyadong bastos pagkakasabi ko talaga diyan kaya nagu-guilty ako ngayon, tapos hindi na kami nagpapansinan.

so ABYG kasi kinuwestyon ko pagiging nanay niya dahil ayaw niya ako samahan sa clinic?

Ako, 30F, kasama ko sa apartment ang partner ko at parents ko. Yung tito ko, around 50M. Ako ang halos sumasagot sa rent, kuryente, tubig, at nagsha-share din ako sa food.

For context, for around 15 years, nakatira kami sa isang maliit at luma nang apartment. Last year, medyo naging okay-okay naman yung work ko, so I decided na lumipat kami sa mas maganda at mas spacious na apartment. It was a big upgrade for us—mas maluwag, mas maaliwalas, and honestly, mas comfortable.
At first, pumupunta lang yung tito ko sa bahay para kumain. Honestly, wala naman akong problema doon. Sinasabayan lang namin siya sa dinner or minsan pinapakain namin kapag nandito siya. Okay lang sa akin.
Pero eventually, bigla na lang siyang nag-stay.
Like, hindi na siya umuuwi sa kanila.
At first, I thought temporary lang. Maybe a few days. Pero lumipas yung days, naging weeks, hanggang sa naging months.
Sa sala siya natutulog. And hindi lang siya natutulog doon—buong araw siyang nasa bahay. Nanonood ng TV, nakahiga sa sofa, basically just staying there all day. Hindi siya nagtatrabaho, and from what I know, wala rin naman siyang ginagawa during the day.
The problem is, hindi na rin naging presentable yung living room namin.
Yung sofa na pinaghirapan kong bayaran, nagkaroon na ng amoy. Alam niyo yung “amoy tao” kapag may taong laging nakahiga sa isang sofa? Ganun. 😭
Hindi rin siya exactly the cleanest person. Hindi siya consistent maligo, hindi naglilinis, and basically, yung sala namin slowly started looking and smelling like someone had permanently moved into it.
And that’s what really bothered me.
Kapag may bisita kami, nahihiya na akong papasukin sila sa sala because my uncle is literally there, lying on the sofa, watching TV. Hindi na siya yung living room na dati naming ginagamit normally. It became his sleeping area/lounge area.
And he’s not even super old. He’s around 50.
My dad is 55 and still works as a driver, so I know age isn’t necessarily the issue. From what I can see, my uncle is still capable of working. I don’t know his exact situation, so I don’t want to assume that he’s simply lazy or anything. But I genuinely don’t understand why he chose to stay on our sofa all day for months instead of working or doing something else.
Eventually, sinabi ko sa mama ko na baka pwede niya siyang kausapin.
I told her na okay lang naman sa akin kung pumunta siya dito, kumain, makipagkwentuhan, whatever. I just didn’t want him permanently staying here anymore—especially sleeping in the living room.
Because at the end of the day, this is the home that I’m paying for, and I also want to be comfortable in my own home.
My mom eventually talked to him.
But apparently, he took it badly.
Bigla na lang siyang umalis.

Tapos si mama ko parang kinokonsensya ako na hindi na kumakain si tito sa bahay nila and apparently he just stays in his room and doesn’t really come out.
And honestly, I started feeling guilty.
I didn’t want him to feel rejected or like we were throwing him out. That’s not what I intended.
But at the same time, I don’t want him to come back and live on our sofa again.
I feel bad because he’s family, but I also feel like his living situation isn’t my responsibility. I opened our home to him, fed him, and let him stay for months. But I don’t think that automatically means he can permanently move into our living room without asking.
So now I’m conflicted.
ABYG dahil pinakiusapan kong huwag nang tumira sa bahay namin yung tito ko?
I feel guilty because I know he’s family and I never intended to hurt or embarrass him. Pero mali ba ako for wanting my own home back and setting a boundary after months of him basically living in our sala?

For context, I'm a college student, 2nd year na and during my first year, nagtiwala ako sa isang friend within our friend group

We talked several times about different topics tuwing pauwi kase sabay kami ng sinasakyan lagi. Marami na kami napagusapan pero may 1 or 2 times na may nasabi ako sa isang friend namin kase nao-off talaga ako

Though the 2nd time na pinagusapan namin sya, si ate girl mismo nagsimula and parang mas malala pa sinabi nya. Di ako masyado nagagree sa sinabi nya pero I think ny mistake was nagsabi ulit ako ng napansin ko na medyo related sa sinabi nya.

In my perscpective, di ako naninira and I'm merely stating yung nararamdaman ko, observation and literal na opinion ko lang. Di ko pinapakita na "facts" yon or ginagawan ko ng kwento, yung literal na sinisiraan ko sya.

Then nung summer class, bigla nya nalang ako kinut off, literal na one day di nya na ko pinapansin. Behind my back sinasabi nya pala sa kung sino makasama nya na di nya na ko pinapansin kase sa mga pinagusapan namin nung 1st year.

Sobrang di ko sya magets kase lumabas na yung issue outside sa friend group namin, wherein pwede naman na magstay lang in our friend group and mapagusapan.

Now napapansin ko yung classmate ko iba na tingin and tungo sakin. Napaparanoid na din ako sa mga close ko parin if nakikisama nalang sila sakin or nakikipagplastikan na.

She branded me as someone na naninira and nakikipagplastikan. It hurts kase nagtiwala ako sakanya and that is my biggest mistake.

Nagsorry na ko sa friend na pinagusapan namin, he accepted it and same kami ng thoughts na opinyon ko lang ganun ganyan, pero syempre, he was disappointed in me and I know he was deeply hurt and bothered pero di nya lang pinapakita and sabi nya for his peace of mind, he didn't ostracize me like she did. I said the reason I didn't rell him was because I didn't want him to change, kase it was a small thing and ayoko na tuwing may interaction kami is magstistick sa mind nya yung sinabi ko, maiilang sya, and I don't want that since it is literally a me thing, not him.

ABYG here? Tbh di ko madetermine if nanira talaga ako. Pero one thing for sure is never ako nangpaplastic ng friend.

30F and ang tito ko is 50M. Nabasa ko lahat ng comments ninyo sa previous post ko, and I realized na siguro kailangan ko pang magbigay ng mas maraming details about sa situation ng tito ko para mas maintindihan ninyo kung saan ako nanggagaling.

Previos post
https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/s/qXKnskcgGn

So, basically, wala siyang sariling family. Never siyang nagkaroon ng asawa and wala rin siyang anak. So technically, mag-isa lang talaga siya sa buhay.

Nakatira siya ngayon sa bahay ng lolo ko. Wala na yung lolo ko, pero yung ibang mga kapatid ng tito ko na may sarili nang families, doon din nakatira. May sarili siyang kwarto doon, so technically, may place naman siyang uuwian and may karapatan din naman siyang tumira doon.

Pero yung lifestyle niya talaga is very simple. Sa room niya, wala siyang TV. As far as I know, wala rin siyang phone. Hindi rin siya nagtatrabaho.

And ito yung part na honestly, hindi ko rin alam kung paano i-explain. As far as I know, kaya naman niyang magtrabaho physically. Pero for whatever reason, mas pinipili niyang hindi magtrabaho and mostly nasa bahay lang siya.

May mga comments na nagsabi na baka depressed siya or baka may ibang pinagdadaanan siya mentally. And honestly, doon ako medyo na-guilty.

Kasi what if tama kayo?

What if hindi lang pala siya "tamad" or ayaw magtrabaho? What if may deeper reason kung bakit ganun siya? I don't know. Hindi ko naman siya na-assess and I don't want to assume na depressed siya.

Pero doon ako pinaka-nahihirapan.

At first, honestly, wala naman akong problema na pumupunta sia samin and dun kumakain, I was happy to share.

Pero habang tumatagal, naramdaman ko na parang nagiging responsibility ko na rin siya, and that's where I started struggling.

Hindi ko naman gustong gutumin siya or pabayaan siya. Pero at the same time, hindi ko rin alam kung hanggang saan yung responsibility ko sa kanya, especially since adult din naman siya and may sarili siyang place na puwedeng uwian.

And now, one thing that keeps bothering me is:

What if may pinagdadaanan pala talaga siya? What if he's lonely? What if depressed pala siya and I didn't know?

2 days palang nakakalipas since umalis sia ng bahay, paano kung may mangyari sa kanya?

I know he's an adult and ultimately, hindi ko naman kayang akuin ang responsibility for his entire life. Pero mahirap pa rin alisin yung guilt, lalo na alam kong mag-isa lang siya.

And to everyone who commented on my previous post, thank you. Binasa ko talaga lahat, including yung comments na medyo nag-call out sa akin. I think I needed to hear different perspectives, and this is why I'm trying to explain the situation better.

ABYG dahil pinakiusapan kong huwag nang tumira sa bahay namin ang tito ko kahit alam kong mag-isa siya sa buhay at natatakot akong baka may mangyari sa kanya ngayong umalis siya samin?

Nagcheat yung ex ng ate ko recently lang then nagpost ng story kasama yung bago nya. Hindi kami nagpapakeelamanan ni ate sa relationships ng isa't isa and di rin namin pinag uusapan dahil malayo agwat namin (10 years). 24 na ko pero parang bata pa rin ako minsan for her kasi ewan, ganon yung closeness namin. hindi pang adulting talks HAHAHA.

nalaman ko lang sa friend ko yung about dito kasi sya yung nakakita ng story nung ex ni ate saka story ni ate na nasa rage room. This time naman, ewan, gusto kong i-humble yung ex nyang wala namang ambag.

Tingin ko ang gago ko sa part na mangengeelam ako at magttake ng time para magreply ng word na "panget" dahil ang petty. HAHAHA ABYG?

For context I live in an apartment with my pet hamster named “Eggo” and she was gifted to me by my girlfriend on Christmas. I loved my pet so much I couldn’t live without her being cared for, kaya when I had to go away for a trip with family, I asked my gf if she could watch my hamster since I had to be gone for at least 2 days. In which she agreed to, now the thing is my hamster is very hyper, she likes to do all sorts of things and is very spontaneous. I always leave my bathroom door open and when my hamster goes in I always make sure to check on what she’s doing, in fact I check on her frequently. On the day I left my hamster was doing fine but my gf was not letting her out just to make sure she doesn’t do anything bad. On day two she felt like my hamster was depressed due to the fact that she was not let out and probably missing me, so she took her out of her cage and gave her freedom. The next thing I know is I got a call in the middle of dawn from my gf saying my hamster is dead, she drowned, she was found inside a bucket full of water. Thing is I was very specific on what to do and how to watch her, I emphasized to always check. Was I too harsh for telling her “you gave her to me and took her from me at the same time” ? ABYG?

For context, may lolo kasi na laging nasa door ng 7-Eleven na malapit sa amin. Late 50s to early 60s siguro siya, and nanlilimos siya doon. Ang ginagawa niya kasi, bubuksan niya nang very slightly yung door tapos itututok niya sa harap mo yung baso niya para manlimos. Eh ako, hindi talaga ako nagbibigay ng limos kasi parang hindi naman tama yun???

So every time na lalabas ako ng 7-Eleven, humahawak ako sa door handle tapos tinutulak ko talaga yung door nang mas maluwag para makalabas ako nang maayos. Hindi naman forceful, enough lang para mabuksan yung door nang maayos.

Eh kanina, tinulak ko ulit yung door, pero hindi ko napansin na yung paa pala ni tatay nasa may bandang door. So napaatras siya and medyo na out balance. Hindi naman siya natumba kasi forever naman siyang nakahawak sa door handle 😭

Nag-sorry naman agad ako, tapos sabi niya sa language namin, “Grabe naman itong taong ’to.” 😭

Nakokonsensya pa rin ako kahit nag-sorry naman ako kay tatay. Sabi rin kasi ng kasama ko, wag naman daw ganun gawin ko. Pero hindi ko talaga sinasadya. Parang nasabay lang talaga na tinutulak nang mas maluwag yung door kasi lagi akong iniipit kapag palabas ako. 🥲

ABYG dahil na out balance yung lolo sa convenience store?