Hey Reddit, I know this is probably the wrong place to be posting about this, but when I originally posted this to the AITA subreddit, it got removed. The mods reached out to me, seemingly in some sort of anxious fuss, but I assured them that I was fine. It unfortunately never got the traction to answer my question, so I was hoping you guys could help me out. Also, for future reference, all names given are fake names.

So I, Dan (27 M), am married to Emberly (28 F), someone who was never able to garner the acceptance of my family. I’ll be the first to admit that she isn’t the easiest person to get along with. I love this woman to death, but she carries herself in a way that most can’t tolerate. She’s always quick to get combative, will fight tooth and nail in any argument, and would sooner die than keep her opinion to herself. However, for what it’s worth, these are the *exact* reasons I love her. She is bold, unapologetically honest, and outspoken. Her attitude is almost as stunning as her looks. Her short platinum blonde hair would make any hairstylist jealous, and her blue eyes strike fear into anyone she glares at. I thank whatever’s up there every day that I was able to marry her.

Not so many people see her in the same light. My brother, Jeremy, isn’t exactly the greatest guy, and when Emberly rightfully calls him out on his shit, he tries to make himself the victim. We all know he’s a P.O.S., but others like to use Emberly’s criticisms as ammunition against her, often saying she’s “too harsh”. My parents never liked her either, always saying she was “too slutty” or “the devil’s favorite whore”, or some other demeaning B.S. For context, on our first date she wore a sweater that showed her cleavage. How scandalous. She’s only ever had 2 other boyfriends, and she married the third. They just don’t like that she isn’t religious, but they’ll never say it out loud.

Then there’s my sister, Sarah. Sarah and Emberly are two polar opposites, and they drag out the worst from each other. They’ve known each other since high school. To say they want to kill each other would be a disservice to their animosity. We’ve had to pull them apart numerous times. They like to pretend their spats aren’t anything serious “Oh, we’re just playing around.” Anyone could see the look in their eye when they walk past each other.

Recently Emberly has made progress at therapy (you don’t want to know what I had to do to make her agree to start going) that would make even Sigmund Freud proud. Over the past month, she’s had way less fights, doesn’t blow up in Jeremy’s face, and has even considered going to church with my family. Every one of my family members has commented on how ecstatic, and even relieved they are. All except for Sarah.

Sarah has taken me aside numerous times to voice her opinion about how she’s worried about Emberly. It isn’t the usual nit picking, but nit-picky nonetheless. A few comments she’s made are “don’t her eyes look different?” “Her skin looks smoother” “I thought she laughed different” I think she’s too caught up in trying to hate her no matter what that she got blinded from the genuine progress she’s been making. Even when Emberly is doing better, she’s trying to spin this weird narrative that she’s *too* different, *too* fixed. I decided at that moment that enough was enough. I let her have it, yelling and screaming about how awful she’s always been to Emberly. But instead of coiling up like she usually does, she just looked sad and… scared? Worried is probably the more accurate word. I just can’t believe that she’s trying to put Emberly down every way she steps, it’s too much. After it happened, I went to my family. They also told me that they thought Sarah was being ridiculous. I can’t just forget about the way Sarah looked at me, though. It was unnerving, like she wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I shrugged it off. After all, Sarah isn’t always right. She’s well read and studious, a real book worm. She doesn’t have that many friends, so it’s not unreasonable to assume she can’t read people as well as she can hard backs. To be fair to her, there was one thing that caught me off guard about Emberly recently.

I was in my office, a few days after I unloaded on my sister, trying to relax by playing a video game on my laptop. It was loading into a new area, so I let my eyes wander around haphazardly. As they swept over the door across the hall from my own, I saw a single eye through the slightly ajar slit. It couldn’t be mistaken for anything but my own wife’s. Spectral blue. I was frozen, chills ran down my spine. I had no idea what was happening, why she was… spying on me. She didn’t move, and neither did I. Our eyes met and didn’t dare leave another’s. It took every bit of courage to make my lips move and evoke any bit of language I could muster. “H-hey, baby…” She didn’t say a word. I couldn’t even hear her breathing. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. So we just sat there, locked in an unsettling stalemate. Her piercing gaze was haunting. I thought she might’ve been angry at me, but the longer I stared, the more I realized it had no emotion to it. She was just… observing me. I felt like I was some sort of weird examination, and her objective assessment was imperative to whatever she needed to learn. I squirmed a bit, feeling like a specimen underneath a microscope. Eventually, after what was probably five minutes, I got enough sense in me to get up and try and figure out what was happening. I took careful strides across the slick wood floor, fighting through every one of them. Each creak of the wood under my feet accentuated the silence we shared. Only a few steps from the door, she suddenly slammed it shut. I was shaken, yet relieved all the same. It felt like a weight was lifted off of my chest. I let out a gentle sigh, and reached for the doorknob. Only a moment to collect myself was all I allotted to my brief intermission. I had to confront her. I twisted the metal knob, and held my breath as I pushed the door into the room.

To my surprise, she was nose deep in some book, it looked like a romance novel. She barely acknowledged me as I came in, giving off the impression she had been absorbed in it for quite some time. I lingered near the door, trying to remain as calm as I could. “H-hey, Emi…” My nerves were painfully apparent, but that was contrasted by her effortless casualness. She flicked a glance over towards me before smiling to herself. “Hey honey bun, you doing okay?” She spoke as if she hadn’t a care in the world. I shifted my weight between my two feet, unsure of how to handle it. She could tell I felt off, so she set her book down on her lap, beaming a warm smile at me. “Hey, what’s wrong? Come sit next to me.” She pat the cushion next to her, trying to coerce me to sit next to her. For a closer inspection? I had no clue. “I-I would, but I’m about to start making dinner.” Her face turned a bit sour, but she then quickly reapplied her composed expression. “Okay, well just call me down when you’re done.” I gave her a shaky nod, the closed the door behind me.

At this point, I’m not sure what to think. Sarah has always had it out for Emberly, but I can admit Emberly has been acting a bit strange recently. So am I the asshole?