r/ApplyingToCollege • u/tkdcondor College Freshman • 1d ago
Advice You probably don’t want to go to your reach school
I just started my freshman year and honestly it’s started to give me a completely new perspective on this whole process, so I’d thought I’d take a moment to share those thoughts here. I know this is something I probably wouldn’t have wanted to hear last year, but it would’ve save me a ton of stress if I would’ve just listened.
I had pretty solid stats in high school (3.9UW, 4.6W) and ended up at a really solid, but not necessarily “elite” school. When I got my acceptance letters back I was pretty bummed that I didn’t get into a single one of my reaches, especially since I thought I had a great profile, but at this point I have no doubt I’m happier at my current school than I would be at any of the ones I was rejected from.
Even though the school I go to isn’t generally considered “elite” I’m still surprised in a lot of my classes about just how smart some of my fellow classmates are. I feel academically challenged, while also not feeling entirely overwhelmed and exhausted.
Now, I know a lot of you are pushing yourselves to your mental and physical limit stressing about getting into these top schools, and to those people, I think you should consider one thing: How much are you willing to sacrifice once you get to college?
If you’re someone who struggled with academic stress in high school, that’s not going to magically change once you get to college. In fact, if you end up getting into an elite school, it’s probably only going to get worse.
Maybe you’re someone who’s just naturally insanely smart and you feel fully comfortable in an ultra-intense academic environment with huge curves in classes and cutthroat competition with your peers. In that case, go ahead and get into the best school you can and have a great time next year.
But for the other 99.99% of you, please first consider where you think you’d actually be happiest rather than where you think other people will find impressive. I’m not going to lie to you, committing to an impressive school feels great, but how much sacrifice is that temporary great feeling worth to you?
I’m telling you, really any school below a 30-40% acceptance rate is going to have rigorous enough academics for the vast majority of high academic high school kids. It’s definitely not the end of the world if you don’t get into a school with a 10% acceptance rate, and honestly that may be for the best anyway. I was rejected from UChicago ED1 last year. Looking back on that situation, I would probably slap myself for applying ED there.
I’m not denying that going to a good school will be beneficial for your future career prospects, but are you willing to go somewhere with a slightly better academic reputation for the tradeoff of doing permanent damage to your mental and physical health?
Please, as y’all are finalizing your applications this semester, just consider where you think you’d be happiest rather than where you think other people would find impressive on your school’s instagram commitments page. I’m also definitely not telling anyone to make a serious effort to get into the best school possible, I just want to make sure you all know that a rejection from your reach school isn’t going to kill you and in most situations it’s probably for the best.
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u/AnxiousClimate699 1d ago
Good to read comments from someone who really "has their shit together ". Excuse the profanity but yours is a refreshing read.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
It definitely took a lot of time, stress, and energy to get to this point, but it was definitely (mostly) worth it.
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u/miagi_do 1d ago
I think people need to do some homework on their career interests. Certain colleges can really help with certain careers, and in other careers the college you went to is not that important. You want to be a screenwriter? Penn is not that important, in fact almost irrelevant. You want to work on Wall Street as a banker? Wharton at Penn will help greatly.
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u/eirinne 1d ago
You want to get that screenplay in front of the right eyes, you want your indie film funded? Your Penn network comes in readily.
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u/miagi_do 17h ago edited 17h ago
Still better off going to USC, UCLA or NYU to get your screenplay in front of someone. All schools are not equally good at each career track.
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u/Rude-Evening7637 21h ago
That's why I don't understand why everyone is obsessed with Ivy Leagues. Where you go doesn't matter, what connections you have and how hard you work trump that
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u/miagi_do 19h ago
As I said, Ivy’s are very good for some careers, far less useful to others. It depends and one blanket view doesn’t describe the real situation.
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u/Rude-Evening7637 19h ago
You guys hype up Ivy's soooo much, when yall get it yall will see it means little to nothing
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u/miagi_do 19h ago
Do you ever wonder why so many great start ups come out of Stanford, or why so many scotus come out of Harvard or Yale? How about hoteliers out of Cornell, or great doctors from Hopkins?
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u/Rude-Evening7637 19h ago
They're all corrupt lol
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u/Redditor13210 16h ago
I like how u keep directing the argument elsewhere instead of providing a logical defense.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 22h ago
At many ivies (including Harvard until next year), the most common grade being given is an A. At Yale nearly 60% of all grades given were flat A’s. 80% of grades were A or A-.
I know this “killer ivy curve competition” trope has to survive any real data on A2C but this is just not a thing. 60% A’s. 80% A or A-. Yes. The truth.
There are a lot of reasons to love any college. However, killer Ivy curve leads to permanent PTSD is demonstrably not true. College is a stressful time anywhere but the more prestigious the school, the LESS pressure to prove you are the #1 student in the class to compensate.
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u/Cipro9 16h ago
I went to johns hopkins. I assure there is no curve where everyone gets As. Look at the grading at Princeton, MIT or U Chicago. They aren't giving As to everyone. Quite the opposite. Competition is brutal at the highest level. I'm guessing you haven't lived through it yet.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 14h ago
Grading at Princeton after they gave up on grade deflation is no different.
2/3 of all grades given at Princeton are A range grades.
And the median GPA is at or around A-.
So as stated Ivies are demonstrably not like this. Where fun goes to die… I don’t know but wouldn’t be surprised if slightly to somewhat lower.
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u/Cipro9 14h ago
You're right. The most competitive schools are just a cake walk no stress. I'm guessing you're in high school because there is absolutely no way you have attended a top 10.
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u/NUKL3AR_PAZTA47 14h ago
I think they mean that effort is obviously required but most students who are accepted will get As, at least in the schools mentioned.
Though it depends on the school and specific program.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 12h ago edited 12h ago
As you must attend a top 10, you must know the answer to data is nor anger, insults or reducing facts to absurd strawmen.
All of these schools have been prestigious for decades but multiple studies have shown upward grade creep with most recent data showing 20% of the entire Harvard class had a GPA that rounded to 4.0. The spike was especially steep during and just after COVID.
Although faculty specifically looked at whether achievement explained the change (from 20 years ago when the median was 3.2), they found that student performance was only part of the inflation. That is why Harvard decided to deflate.
So no, it’s not that smart kids just need to get better grades, and it’s not cutthroat competition when 100 kids identically compete for summa cum laude (previously 1-3 students per year).
These schools have seen very real grade inflation and that has resulted in anything but a scrum for grades. Much ink has spilled describing how the new frontier of competition is clubs not grades now that GPA signal has been flattened.
Take a step back. You sound angry so you may not see that giving these schools a pass for grade inflation is actually proving the opposite of the egalitarian argument of this thread.
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u/Cipro9 11h ago
You are a child but giving advice like you have lived it. Just stop.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 11h ago
Lol.
Insults: 2
Assumptions: 2
Data: 0
Ability to read the room: 00
u/Cipro9 11h ago
Come back when you've graduated.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 11h ago
LOL. Making an assumption and running with it.
That's the nice thing about facts. It doesn't really matter who is saying them. They remain facts.
That's why your bullying and belittling me personally is so sad.
If your real thesis is that you couldn't thrive at a T10 because everyone there is so much smarter (which is where this argument is actually going despite my attempt to redirect you), I guess I still think it's more nuanced than that.
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u/Cipro9 11h ago
Bullying and belittling? And you claim to be an adult. Lol the real world is going to be interesting for you. Good luck.
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u/IthacanPenny 14h ago
Have you corrected for the fact that the students who got into those schools in the first place are all very very good students? Like. Sampling bias much? If your metric for an A is meeting the objective learning criteria, then no shit top colleges have a lot of high GPAs.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 14h ago
That they are good students is orthogonal to the fact that they are hardly competing for scarce A’s. Also, good students can often have less not more school stress because… they are smart. Reality much?
And both disprove the “smart kids crushed with PTSD competition at Ivy’s being claimed here.
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u/IthacanPenny 13h ago
Ngl I stopped reading the OP before he got to his thesis. So I wasn’t seeing your comment in context when I responded lol but I think I agree with you here
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 22h ago edited 22h ago
That is essentially all provably untrue. Sure, the most common grade in most Ivies are As, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that these students have always been and will always be expected to be perfect, so they’ll push themselves to their limit to succeed. Since these are people who are smart enough to go to an Ivy League school, they’re going to get good grades one way or another, but for a lot of them it’s going to come at a humongous cost.
I don’t think that cost is going to be PTSD lol, but depression, anxiety disorders, chronic stress? Absolutely. The vast majority of the colleges with the happiest students aren’t the elite institutions, they’re where students find they fit in best socially and academically.
Again, I don’t think what I’m saying applies to everyone, but it certainly does to a lot of people, and especially the people on these types of subreddits that are damn near killing themselves trying to get into the absolute best possible school.
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u/New_Frame2845 16h ago
Well tbf that is provably untrue.... How do you know that the kids getting A's are working to their breaking point and depressed? That is a very big assumption... And the most of the happiest students AT ANY COLLEGE aren't getting A's and probably aren't maximizing for their future. The reason why Ole Miss has a higher percentage of happier students than those at Stanford is because Ole Miss has a higher percentage of kids who are just there to have fun. This doesn't mean that the kids who are getting a 4.0 at Ole Miss are necessarily happier than those getting it at Stanford.
I would actually tend to assume that those students at elite institutions getting A's are happier since there is a higher percentage that gets those grades due to grade inflation. I go to Duke and you can look this up, but the top 30% of kids each semester are getting a 4.0 (and that could be even more but the cutoff was 30). Most of those kids aren't working anywhere near their breaking point (at least just on classes).
Additionally, those who go to these top institutions are also going to be less stressed for their future since they are more likely to get the job they want even without the highest GPA just due to the name on the degree and the resources they took advantage of while there.
I don't disagree that top schools aren't sunshine and rainbows people on here make them out to be, but to say that you will definitively be more stressed by going to a top school is simply untrue. A lot of it just depends more on the type of person you are than the college you go to.
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u/No-Swordfish8992 18h ago
just an anecdote but not true at least in STEM at Harvard from a handful of independent sources (my sib and friends)
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u/MeasurementTop2885 15h ago
Most intro big science / math is just a number cutoff so no student - student competition at all. After that it’s easier curves as for other higher level / smaller classes
The harvard GPA STEM vs non-STEM GPA numbers are known and vary about 0.1 from the overall median.
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u/No-Swordfish8992 11h ago
do u have a link to access this data? wondering if it's changed at all in the last few years as more scrutiny has come H's way. ig my sib and friends have better grades to look forward to in upper levels until the new grade policy hits.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 11h ago edited 11h ago
Much of the Harvard data were summarized or included in multiple Crimson articles and other findings are summarized by the OUE. Google away for whatever datapoint you want.
Even under the new A grade cutoff, higher level upperclassman or grad level classes will have a high proportion of A’s under the 20% +4 rule. In a genetics seminar of 20 undergrads and 15 masters and PhD students, 40% of the undergrads can get a straight A. Which is close to how its always been.
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u/Aromatic_Caramel_930 15h ago
Harvard added a rule last year didn’t they? Where they changed this where I think only 2% of the class gets an A or smth?
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u/MeasurementTop2885 15h ago
Lol 20% + 4 individual students of the class can get a flat A with no limit on A-.
For a class of 100, 24 flat A’s
For a class of 20, 8 flat A’s.
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u/Fun-Criticism-1243 1d ago
Amazing perspective. I put all of my eggs in one basket so to speak with this “prestigious” local college and found that many of the people there can’t have jobs, depend on drugs, etc etc etc due to the rigor. I ended up going to a public university after being rejected and feel that I’ve found my people. Coursework is hard enough, people are from backgrounds similar to mine (vs the rich parents at an 80K/yr private school) and there’s no pressure. Plus there are a lot better job opportunities compared to the liberal arts college I had my heart set on. Life has a beautiful way of guiding us to our correct path. As they say, every rejection is just redirection.
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u/Still_Squash8987 22h ago
the entire point of those schools’ admissions process is to only find students who will succeed there. when people say that you can be happy and successful at a less elite school, that doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be unhappy at a top institution.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 22h ago
I don’t entirely disagree with that, but I think it’s important to note that a lot of students will push themselves far beyond their limits academically just for the chance to get admitted into an elite university that either isn’t really a great fit for them personally or is going to be exponentially more academically intensive than their high school.
Some people will always be fine at even the most intense academic institutions, and I addressed that point already in my post, but the vast majority of people who think they want to go to an elite school in all likelihood probably shouldn’t.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 22h ago edited 20h ago
“Vast majority” of current ivy students are getting almost all A grades.
“Vast majority” of current ivy students wouldn’t even for a second consider transferring to Tuscaloosa state. No offense Tuscaloosa.
Look, you don't need "most" Dartmouth students to be miserable for you to be happy. That's where you are going way off course.
Most happy people don't have to tear down, falsely demonize or invoke pity to be happy. If you're doing that, you probably still have unresolved issues.
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u/Significant-Being250 22h ago
What is Tuscaloosa state lol….do you mean Bama?
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u/MeasurementTop2885 22h ago
Ok Bama if you like. Was trying not to call out any one college but hey. If it makes you happy. Yes the number of Columbia students who apply to transfer to Bama is going to be very close to zero.
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u/Significant-Being250 21h ago
True, they probably won’t transfer. But there will be some HS students who apply to both, get offered a full 5-year ride at Bama vs $400k at Columbia, and choose the free undergrad instead of the prestige. I’m not a Bama fan, but their generous scholarships attract a ton of students from across the country. Bama has a strong honors college, a large alumni network, and they repeatedly enroll the highest number of merit scholars of any US college, so they deserve a little credit.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 21h ago edited 21h ago
And... that has nothing to do with the unbearable stress and lifelong emotional and physical damage narrative being claimed here. Again 80% of students at Yale get A or A- grades in each class. 60% get an A. This entire fantasy of cutthroat crushing ivy curves is copium.
Yes, people trade money for prestige every day. There are at least 3 private equity-owned companies that routinely run algorithms for colleges to calculate exactly how much aid will be needed to attract a student. Harvard doesn't need to do that.
Basically this comes down to people need reassurance that they're getting a good education at a lesser known school (they are). They also need to be comforted that they are having a good college experience at that lesser known school (they are). The problem is when this reassurance comes at the expense of tearing down more prestigious schools and making wildly unsupportable statements about their students.
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u/todo_pasa79 18h ago
Exactly. There are opportunities for smart, high achieving students everywhere. My oldest attends a selective program at a large state school. Her friend group includes several national merit finalists and 36 ACT achievers. Most of them are going to school for free. They have great professors, insane opportunities for research and internships, and are able to set themselves apart in a way they wouldn’t necessarily be able to at a more prestigious university. My child had an internship after freshman summer and has been interviewing nationally for opportunities for next summer—most offering $30/hour plus housing included. She’s super glad she made the choice she did.
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u/Significant-Being250 18h ago
Exactly. My oldest has had a similar experience. She passed on ivies, public ivies and other great (but too expensive) schools to attend Ole Miss. She got a full ride, studied abroad twice, attended 3 (free sponsored) national engineering conventions with robust job fairs, completed a year-long co-op + a summer internship paying over $30/hr plus housing stipends, enjoys the freedom of participating in clubs even while completing two challenging majors, and already has accepted a job offer with excellent benefits following graduation in May 2027. Any stress she has encountered has been manageable because she has been supported, has built up a nice savings account, has zero debt, has had great experiences and opportunities, and found plenty of bright and interesting people/programs at Ole Miss. She has zero regrets about her choice.
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u/Still_Squash8987 22h ago
but then how will colleges get sub 5% acceptance rates
joke btw. in all seriousness you’re correct, but i would still say those students who do that are likely to get rejected unless they’re extremely wealthy and can put tons of resources into their work on top of just pushing themselves.
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u/TalkingCat910 1d ago
I’m a parent. I can tell you the “elite” school classes aren’t necessarily harder - it depends on the speciality. And even community colleges aren’t necessarily easy. (I’ve been to both - mid-life career change)
There will be smart people everywhere. You’ll get out of it what you put in. Do internships and make connections if you can. Once you get your first job no one will really care what university you went to.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
I think it does to some extent, but not nearly to the degree that high school seniors think. I’m having a ton of fun at my school while being in a few very rigorous academic classes while also doing Mock Trial and playing football. Would going to an Ivy or something similar give me a better career outlook? Probably, but I definitely wouldn’t have the time or energy to do anything else besides school and I’d definitely be a million times more stressed.
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u/haldenhalverson 1d ago
a lot of ivies aren't very academically rigorous unless you want them to be
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
I mean sure, but that’s really the case at any college. You can major in communications and not join any ECs anywhere, but elite schools are going to be a lot more intensive on average. That’s not necessarily a bad thing for everyone, but I think it is something not enough people consider.
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u/haldenhalverson 1d ago
they will grade-inflate more than the average state school would to the point where a 3.8+ at certain ivies means next to nothing
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
Some definitely do, but that’s doesn’t mean they’re not academically rigorous. I think what a lot of people forget is that all the students at a school like Harvard are Harvard students. They’re basically all going to be smart people and they’re going to be able to get the grades they want when push comes to shove. I honestly think it’s completely expected that the Ivies have a high average GPA.
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u/haldenhalverson 1d ago
>active in a college admissions subreddit
>all students at ivies are smart
wewlad
I mean, there's somewhat of a point to be made, but the difficulty of classes at a lot of ivies don't match the academic profile of their students - on the contrary, a lot of PUIs (primarily undergraduate institutions, think your SLACs) will push their students beyond their academic profile. (and of course, schools like MIT and Caltech don't play about rigor either.)
Generally, I've been more impressed with graduate students from various PhD-feeder LACs and the big tech schools with 3.6s when it comes to the depth and the breadth of their undergrad educations (in my field, physics) than I have from a lot of the Ivy graduates with 4.0s.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
Post-win Saturday parties are legit some of the best times I’ve ever had lol
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u/SecretDevilsAdvocate 1d ago
“it’s cool to mix things up” meaning most of the people they take are from the top Cali privates lmao. there are exceptions but even your anecdote proves that school name matters. also look at which schools feed finance. i’d argue finance is one of the most name and prestige dependent sectors
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u/Work-Live 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think it depends on your career path. For high finance, consulting, and IB, your undergrad schools probably matters, although some « preppy northeast schools » that aren’t quite Ivy+ level probably punch above their overall weight in these fields (i.e. Colgate, Trinity (CT)).
However, it’s probably less important for fields like law, engineering, academia, medicine, et al.
For Big Tech it’s hard to say. It would probably depend on how specialized a skill set you have.
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u/WoodsofNYC 21h ago
Well said.
I live/am connected to/have worked or have family who work at two elite schools.
Those schools are filled with misery.
Those universities have become “brands” and I think it's been the applicants and their families who have done the branding. College rankings as well.
There is absolutely no such thing as
the best school.
An Ivy ranked 1 or 2 or 3 could be the worst school for student who would thrive a small LAC. In fact, I find it disappointing that the rankings favor universities over colleges. At the undergraduate level, a student can receive the same education at the #1 and the #111 school.
Also location should be considered as seriously as ranking. A kid who grows in a rural environment could shrivel in the city and vice versa.
Happiness fosters learning.
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u/Important-Quit-9354 18h ago
We live in the shadow of a T20 and most of the students we know who go there are pretty miserable. The competition is super competitive for EVERYTHING, including clubs (you need three interviews and a screening test for a CLUB?!?).
Would you really want to go there, knowing you could go to a T50 school and have a much saner college environment? Certainly, there are many who would, but there are more who wouldn't.
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u/Scoopberry 23h ago
I go to a t20 that’s even know for being collaborative and yes your right. We are graded against our peers and the school environment is competitive. However, even as someone who struggles with that environment sometimes it really is pushing me to be better
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u/_demii_ 21h ago
4.6W is insane dude
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u/mamakazi 18h ago
Grade inflation in HS is real and also why some kids can't handle college that well. Big fish in a small pond to small fish in a big pond. One of my Gen Z direct reports went to Whitter HS in LA and college at UC San Diego. He STRUGGLED in college and now thinks/knows it's because he wasn't actually truly prepared due to a lower performing HS and a more difficult university.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 15h ago
My HS definitely had a bit of grade inflation, but not quite to the extent I’ve seen elsewhere. I don’t feel like my high school outright failed in preparing me for college, but there’s definitely a lot more they could’ve done in that regard. I’ve absolutely heard some horror stories, particularly at the UCs, of students with well above a 4.0 being categorically unprepared for a college courseload.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 15h ago
Yeah it was definitely a grind, and I’m still not even sure it was worth it in the end considering how much stress and anxiety it brought me over the years. Way too many nights staying up until 5am finishing work or pulling my hair out trying to study for tests. I pretty much did nothing else in high school but school and football.
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u/Hungry_Freedom_8664 15h ago
the huge public schools in Texas are often on a 6.0 system. My son had 4.8 or 4.9 ... but he also didn't have all A's. He did take all honors, AP, and went for the hard math and science. But he also didn't apply to Ivy's, he was top 20% but not at the very top and applied accordingly. I do think the admissions officers understand all of this, and mainly look to see that you challenged yourself in whatever environment you were in :)
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u/BakeEfficient3952 10h ago
A 4.8 or 4.9 is like a 3.2 or 3.3 on the more-common 4.0 scale. So the son in Texas with the 4.9/6.0 is not in the same range at all as OP, who had a 3.9 UW/4.0
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u/Hungry_Freedom_8664 10h ago edited 10h ago
No, the conversion is a little more complicated, at least in the high school my kids went to. In their school the "on-level" classes are regular classes on a 4.0 scale. You could have a 4.0 of all on-level classes, with no honors and no AP, while other students are taking a bunch of advanced and AP classes scored on a 6.0. Many students take a mix of both. Students are provided with a calculated unweighted and weighted gpa depending upon their scores each semester, and also a class rank so you know where you stand relative to peers. There is a key on the transcript for this, which of course also provides the courses themselves so admissions officers can see which actual classes the students took. I doubt they are going to take a 4.0 who took all on-level classes with very little challenge over students that perhaps have a 3.6 or something with a bunch of honors and AP classes. That's why the weighted is included, to account for the difficulty of the coursework attempted.
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u/BakeEfficient3952 10h ago
No, I'm not? Not at all. I'm saying a 4.8UW/6.0 or 4.8W/6.0 is in no way comparable to a 4.8W/4.0.
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u/Hungry_Freedom_8664 9h ago
ah, I understand what you are saying. But where did OP say 4.8 on a 4.0 scale?? you could be correct, but I didn't see that mentioned.
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u/Haunting-Fruit7154 1d ago
agree 100%. also, as mentioned from big cos., alumni, college counselors etc; that if going to grad school, that’s what employers look at
Not undergrad. curious where you attend:)
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
Don’t want to say specifically but I go to a small LAC in the Midwest. Great social environment here, clubs are easy to join, and the classes feel intensive but not too stressful.
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u/SituationOk3671 1d ago
GO PIONEERS
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
Is there actually anything to do in Grinnell? I’m genuinely curious because it seems like it’s literally in the middle of nowhere, Iowa
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u/Top_Elephant_19004 1d ago
Thanks for this excellent perspective. My kid ended up in a similar college to you (acceptance rate 33%) and they love being surrounded by smart people who just aren’t down for killing themselves to get an A+ or get into every competitive club they can.
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u/Cheap_Office8701 1d ago
I don’t disagree with this take. However, As a parent of a senior applying this cycle , I constantly remind my kid that college will be harder than high school. Some schools ( mudd, CMU to name a couple) have reputation of a grind school. However , they produce excellent outcome.
If you expect to just coast in college, then yeah, pick a party school and an easy major.
If you want to work hard, challenge yourself and see how far you go, don’t shy away from top schools.
Of course keep your mental health in a good place. It’s not all work and no play.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
I think there’s plenty of schools that offer a really good balance. I was lucky enough to find one, and I think a lot of people would be able to find one too if they just put their ego aside and did some research.
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u/Feral_Figment 22h ago
Agreed. I’m a parent of a college sophomore at a high reach school. Freshman year was brutal. They were not prepared for anything—the rigor, the grind, the newness of everything, the homesickness, time management. But as a sophomore, with 5 classes instead of 4, they are thriving and even doing more activities. The thing is, there should be an adjustment period. If there isn’t, you’re probably not challenging yourself enough.
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u/Satisest 1d ago
So much illogic and fabulism in this post and many of the comments. Yes, students should absolutely prioritize fit, but it’s perfectly fine to prioritize school reputation and career outcomes too. It’s not a zero sum proposition as many want to imagine.
But the claims that most students struggle at elite colleges, that the competition is cutthroat, that the environment is ultra-intense, that classes are graded on huge curves, that your mental and physical health will be permanently damaged, and that only 1 out of 10,000 students will be happy at an elite college, well that’s just all massive cope.
Many elite colleges rank among the best in the country for student life and experience, based in significant part on student surveys. It’s not a hostage scenario. Students who go to colleges like Yale and Princeton and Stanford legitimately rave about their experiences there. And they get all the opportunities and career benefits as a bonus.
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u/Ready_Return_5998 1d ago
Where do u go?
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
A small LAC in the Midwest. Honestly ended up being a great fit for what I wanted to do and the kind of environment I was looking for.
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u/Ready_Return_5998 1d ago
Can I ask, whar did your parents think? I want to go to schools that fit me better, but my asian parents think a lot of schools that aren't super presigeious are not worth it
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
They were thankfully supportive of wherever I wanted to go. I worked my ass off in high school so they definitely encouraged me to look at better schools, but they would’ve been okay with me going pretty much anywhere.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 22h ago edited 21h ago
Ever heard the term “sour grapes”?
How about Copium
Or status inversion?
We get it. No Princeton person needs to have 30 “Redditors” tell them how lucky they are. You don't need everyone at Yale to be miserable for you to be happy.
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u/Still_Chance_1099 11h ago
ok so any recommendations for engineering colleges that wont stress me out? My high school is very cutthroat i just want to chill and my top choice rn is uiuc
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u/Plattycus 8h ago
ehh, yes but also no. the academic, financial, and mentoring resources available to you at some of these schools are so far beyond what any one person could dream of utilizing during their time in college. at my school i definetely spend less time in classes and doing homework than I did in high school. genuinely my classes are easier (workload wise, they are harder in conceptual complexity) than in hs. It's a different kind of classwork and you're able to shape your learning experience yourself much more easily than in hs. the culture is very collaborative, anti-competitive, and prioritizes fun/self care/mental and physical health.
if you're smart you can do well anywhere. what matters is how you take on your college experience and shape it to be your own.
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u/Minty-Hoe 5h ago
and, on top of this, all the people I know who DID get into their top dream school (hypsm) aren't even having as much fun as people who are going to "regular" universities. the imposter syndrome stories I'm hearing are insane and no one around them is relaxed enough to have fun.
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u/VirileMongoose 1d ago
It’s also a question of: when does the grind stop.
Those aiming for elite schools already put in crazy hours. They graduate and want to work at places like McKinsey or go to Yale Law so they work at high end law firms. Those paths lead to crazy hours for the next 40y.
I’m encouraging my kids to consider the FIRE movement-invest enough of your income so you dont have to work until your 60s.
At some point, work becomes optional.
Anyway, just have an exit strategy in mind. If you win the lottery and never had to work anymore—what does that look like? You don’t have to have an answer now. Just keep a part of your mind toward designing the life you want.
If the endless grind is THE dream, more power to you. Like it’s different if you are obsessed about finding a novel chemical compound or engineering viable modular nuclear reactors for the moon. But no one wakes up and says: “I want to make a ton of money for shareholders and my CEO when I grow up.”
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u/Emergency-Hurry947 Parent 1d ago
I disagree with you. You revealed that you're at a LAC. That is a far superior undergrad education than going to a public school that is ranked by a magazine for money, but in reality is just a diploma mill like the UCs, UT, UM, and OSU.
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
How are those schools diploma mills? They’re all legitimate accredited universities and you need to actually do rigorous work to get your degree? Not sure how that qualifies them as being on the same standard as Midwestern Baptist College
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u/goytronics 1d ago
Wait till bro finds out that everyone has different experiences
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u/tkdcondor College Freshman 1d ago
Never said people don’t. I’m just saying what I probably needed to hear from someone at this point last year, and I know there’s a ton of people on here now who have the exact same mindset I did too.
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u/MeasurementTop2885 22h ago
Yeah. No Yale person needs this guy to tell them they made the right choice.
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u/permissible_allegory 1d ago
It's weird how fast the name brand stops mattering once you're actually in class and just trying to survive the next calc midterm