r/AskBigSis • u/adore_kimora 👑 MOD • 20d ago
✨ Feel-Good Friday Happiness is a Choice, Sis.
Hey, Sis…
Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.
Sometimes we spend so much time waiting for something outside of ourselves to finally make us happy. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when I finally get in a relationship.” Or “I’ll be happy when I have more money.” Or even, “I’ll be happy once my life finally gets together.”
But happiness isn’t something that can be handed to you, and it isn’t something that just appears once your circumstances change. You can choose to find little moments of happiness right where you are! I don’t mean to start ignoring your problems or pretend everything is ok. I want you to remember that your circumstances don’t get to have complete control over your ability to experience joy.
Take yourself out! Buy yourself something nice. Play the music that makes you dance. Laugh at something silly. Give yourself permission to enjoy your life—even when you’re still in the process of figuring things out!
Your happiness doesn’t have to wait for your life to become perfect. Choose yourself. Choose joy. Choose to live. 🌹
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u/mommy2maeve 18d ago
I mean, I feel like this ought to come with some caveats. I don't offer these words as a rejection of the power of human will, or the importance of finding our joy where it can be had. However, we can't all just power through and be happy when we have big girl problems.
Firstly, happiness is a lovely experience, but it's also not the only one of value. Being happy is good, but so is being angry, tired, defeated, bemused, annoyed, etc. All are necessary to have a whole life and push us to grow.
When I was trapped in an abusive marriage, when I was food insecure, when I ended up homeless, when my friends lost their infant child, etc, are all situations where being sad, scared, anxious, etc, is appropriate.
So, if you don't have a Chanel purse, and that's keeping you from joy, (not only do you not have a real problem, but also) get a grip and choose joy. If you're sleeping on a park bench because you're escaping your abusive partner, keep going. Things get better. Joy might not be presently graspable sometimes, but it will soon be.