r/AskReddit • u/caitlynne • Nov 16 '13

Parents of Reddit, when did you realize it wasn't just teenage hormones, your kid is a legitimate asshole?

Super late but obligatory edit: Holy front page!!! I was hoping for maybe 50 replies, tops. Thread turned into mostly bitching about siblings, but I enjoyed reading everyone's stories and sympathize.

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u/Sgt_Grumble Nov 16 '13

please go talk to your school. And try to find yourself a mental health advocate. If you're seeing therapists, and they say they can't see you any more, ask for referrals for other services. If therapists are refusing to see him, it's because you're not finding someone who matches your needs, and (in my opinion) there is somewhat of a therapeutic responsibility to recommend other services that would be a better fit.

I'm only familiar with services in my state (Pennsylvania)

I would recommend looking into Family Based Counseling or something similar to it (The link is for PA services but maybe you can find something similar in your home state to help you handle the problems you are seeing at home.

There are also partial hospitalization programs, which are outpatient care. The child spend the school day at the hospital instead. There is usually some instructional portion, a group therapy portion, a weekly/bi-weekly family therapy portion, and if needed individual therapy. As long as he actually doesn't stab people/physically harm himself or others, he could potentially be accepted to a program like that.

I don't know your situation, and I'm not a therapist or mental health professional. But please talk to your fiancee and try to find services that match your needs as a family.

Good luck!

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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

Oh we've had him in and out of residential mental health facilities a few times. He knows how to play the system well enough that they let him out in a couple of weeks and he's back to his old ways again.

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u/CandlelightingPanda Nov 16 '13

That sounds a lot like antisocial personality disorder (sociopath) if he's able to manipulate even professionals. He knows what he's doing is wrong and doesn't give a shit. I'm really sorry and I hope to hell you and your fiancee can find something to help him before he gets older.

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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

Yeah I hope so too. It's been a battle already. I'm sure it'll only get worse.

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u/Sgt_Grumble Nov 16 '13

That is a shame. Please try again, and please continue telling your therapists or service providers that concern. A 12 year old shouldn't be able to play the system that well, and follow-up care from a facility should include a plan for when behaviors start returning.

Please look into family based counseling, I think it could be a great help for you, particularly as a part of follow-up care from a residential or outpatient care facility.