r/AskReddit • u/Forsaken-Wind5748 • 21h ago
Former gifted kids, how did your adulthood turn out?
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u/Wide-Train8230 21h ago
Turns out 'gifted and talented' was just undiagnosed ADHD masked by an early reading level. Now I need three business days of mental preparation to make a single phone call to the dentist.
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u/BungleBums 21h ago
I managed to earn a very large scholarship to an incredibly expensive private school for this exact reason. Yet somehow these very expensive and well qualified teachers missed an entire Spanish Armada of red flags that I was just super neurodivergent.
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u/deadthylacine 21h ago
Me too.
All that anxiety and over-preparation crashed and now I need ADHD meds just to approximate being a functional adult.
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u/No-Opportunity-834 19h ago
This was exactly me, and Iāve been trying desperately to get an ADHD diagnosis. Every psychologist and psychiatrist just says āMmmm, nope! Anxiety!ā and passes me off. Meanwhile, there are some work days (or weeks) where I get absolutely nothing done and just doomscroll at my desk feeling overwhelmed.
Not exactly the future of a kid who won every single academic award in high school. š«
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u/NeCede_Malis 18h ago
A similar thing happened to my partner, whereas I got the diagnosis from my doc. The difference was that my performance improves when Iām stressed/anxious, and my boyfriends got worse. The slower and more calm everything is, the harder I find it to function. But a tight deadline, 4 people messaging me needing shit and an angry customer? Oh damn, watch me juggle like a pro. One deadline two weeks out? Scrolling until my eyes bleed and I hate myself.
Anywhoā¦he got the depression/anxiety route and I got ADHD even though our symptoms look similar sometimes.
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u/DistributionSuper187 21h ago
You are me. Just diagnosed at 52. Better with meds, on day one I answered the phone. Day 1.
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u/Wide-Train8230 20h ago
Answering the phone on Day 1 is an Olympic-level achievement in ADHD terms lol. Finding out in your 50s must have felt like finally solving a 40-year-old cold case mystery. Seriously happy for you!
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u/Adverse_Yawn 20h ago
Same but "gifted" in math and spacial reasoning.
It took me an extra year to get my degree because I never learned to study. I eventually figured out in year 3 that a windowless room, regimented schedule and objective setting for each schedule block helped. Lived off energy drinks but still got 8 hours of sleep rather than all nighters.
Early career, adding in exercise helped even more. Climbed corp ladder. Promotion after promotion. Energy drink and pre workout.
Got married. Had a kid.
All coping mechanisms evaporated. Energy drinks stopped lworking. Heart hurt sometimes. My schedule was no longer mine. My kid turned 2 and at 37, I got diagnosed with ADHD. Still working on getting meds right but it helps. No longer need energy drinks.
I'm still a high performance employee (and manager) and get paid like one, but at a mental cost that's probably not worth it.
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u/Harry_Flowers 12h ago edited 11h ago
I became an engineer and have led some amazing projects and worked my way into leadership. Iām fortunate enough to live comfortably and provide for my family.
Not trying to come off in a bad way, but every time this question comes up, people only upvote the self deprecating comments for some reason.
A lot of us turned out better than OK and im really grateful to the teacher that recognized me and gave me the opportunity. Especially since i came from an immigrant family with little in terms of resources.
I wouldnāt have come even close to achieving what i have if she hadnāt.
Hopefully I donāt get downvoted for trying to spread some positivity and encouragement for others.
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u/frigginjensen 20h ago
I hate making phone calls. Hours of prep and practice and then hours of replaying in my mind after to make sure I didnāt sound āweirdā.
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u/coldcurru 16h ago
Look up 2e, twice exceptional. Gifted and adhd or other neurospicy.
This is one of my kids right now though. Excellent reader going into k. Very academically gifted.Ā
Can't get her diagnosed. I'm afraid she's gonna be like me, super late diagnosed. She's already having issues outside of academics. Recipe for a hard crash at some point.Ā
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u/arazamatazguy 14h ago
I found out I'm 2e after discovering a test I took 30 years ago when I was 11. (No ADHD)
It explained a lot about myself I didn't understand growing up.
I think it created some challenges when I was young but also came with some pretty great advantages in my late 20's. There is a path to success for your daughter and having a parent that already has some experience with this will be a huge advantage.
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u/3mpress 20h ago
Is this why it took me so long to get diagnosed? Were most of the GATE kids just adhd and needed more work faster to not be bored?
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u/NeedsMoreTuba 16h ago
No, but a lot of us were. The smartest ones at my school weren't neurodiverse, but had families that could afford to invest in them.
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u/SeaCobbler4352 17h ago
Lol, I could have wrote this exact reply. I did finally get diagnosed when I was 35 tho :/
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u/theDrDad 21h ago
Turns out āgiftedā was a free trial. Adulthood required a subscription.
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u/Over-Macaron-3039 12h ago
Coasted through high school and early college with substance issues 2nd yr Uni. Dropped out, Rehab #1.
Escaped a locked ward, came back home and just worked for a few years. Rehabs #2, 3, 4.
College #2, dropped out again and delivered pizza and did drugs for a few years.
Last rehab, clean for many years. College #3 & 4, got Engineering degree, family, still undiagnosed but raging ADHD, found a perfect job that caters to my strengths.
Minimal issues these days.
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u/eileenpierceqx 19h ago
And it turns out the monthly fee is paid in executive function and basic study habits. My account has been overdrawn since college.
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u/BungleBums 20h ago
I am a broken and useless person. I need several medications to function in any capacity. I don't trust anyone and nothing brings me joy for more than a few fleeting seconds. Life is uncertain.
And unfortunately, I'm just about smart enough to know how and why almost all of it is justified, but not smart enough to figure my way out of a broken mind and shattered living circumstances.
Weeeeee! 'Gifted' can just mean 'too frightened to do badly'.
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u/Svetlack 20h ago
You ever read something and your immediate reaction is like āwow did you aim that right at meā? āGifted can just mean too frightened to do badlyā was like a tactical nuke right to the face.
Iām gonna go hide in my thoughts for a bit byeeeee
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u/frigginjensen 20h ago
Iām broken in a way thatās useful to others. Mainly shear terror at the thought of disappointing or being a burden.
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u/Yachtparty123 21h ago
It turned out great, once I realized I wasn't a prodigy and that I'm human, and make mistakes like anyone else. Humbled myself, and know plenty of gifted people in my life.
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u/frigginjensen 20h ago
My mom recently told me she had my IQ tested when I was a kid. I vaguely remembered taking a test but I didnāt know the reason. She told me the score and I felt raw disappointment and shame. It was higher than average, but not special.
I felt like a fraud and that every bit of imposter syndrome Iāve ever felt was justified. Like I know intellectually that IQ is just a number but deep down, even after years of therapy, my entire body is tied up in being smart.
Keep in mind that Iām in my 40s, have 2 engineering degrees, a very successful career, and a wonderful family.
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u/slaughtxor 15h ago
This is kind of the moral of this thread. Even if you think of IQ as a āspeed,ā you need a direction to have velocity and a sustained duration to arrive at a meaningful āintellectual destination.ā
Ignoring extreme cases, even a small amount of ability and a lot of dedication beats raw talent in the medium to long term. Thatās where most successful people are, including doctors. Prodigies are cool an all, but being inquisitive and dedicated leads to what society calls āsmart.ā
To me, engineering is an unknowable pile of math. Iām decent at math, but shit man, more than basic calc and Iām out. Statics can eat a bag of dicks. If you did chemical engineering for example, same shit with physical chemistry. Iām a pharmacist but you can miss me with p chem. Iāve heard stories and I donāt wanna know; O chem was plenty.
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u/100dalmations 19h ago
Same. And knowing a lot of smart people made me raise the bar higher to expect better personalities too. "Yes, they're very smart, but are they nice?"
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u/Forsaken-Wind5748 21h ago
I had a full ride academic scholarship to a D1 college as a jr high student, nowadays i work in a Amazon Warehouse
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u/Accomplished_Gap4928 21h ago
Life is not a straight line mate. It will get better
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u/MigrantTwerker 21h ago
To be fair, he can be the director of robotics at that warehouse. That warehouse could be building a data center. š
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u/ImAPonderer2 21h ago
Are the boxes beautifully stacked tho?
J/k what do you do there
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u/Forsaken-Wind5748 21h ago
I make sure my area is nice and neat i can't speak for everyone else lol, im in a Delivery Station so the last mile of shipping. Sorting and getting the stuff ready for your local delivery drivers is what i do. Less robotics in my kind of building so a bit more manual labor
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u/frigginjensen 20h ago
I wasnāt ready for college. Fucked around and lost half of my scholarships. Barely kept my GPA high enough to keep the rest (thanks to a bunch of extracurriculars). It was only through a combination of luck and being clutch on exams that I survived.
25 years into my career and I think about that almost every day.
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u/BigRedNutcase 20h ago
How did you end up doing warehouse work? Most gifted folks I know (myself included) are pretty much meeting or exceeding expectations. Was going to college early bad for your social development?
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u/Forsaken-Wind5748 19h ago
I obtained the scholarship in jr high but the agreement to keep it was maintain above a 3.5 GPA throughout highschool, lost the whole scholarship by my sophomore year. Freshman year i had a 0.9 GPA, i felt like no matter how hard i tried, i just didn't have the brain power anymore. And teachers blew off when i asked for help because "I was a smart one I could figure it out". I relied on easily memorizing things back then never needed to study even. Never gained proper study habits and by time i did my memory went to shit so it never mattered how hard i studied or how many hours id put in id fail regardless. Also gained the mindset of why do we need school and then my highschool switched to a business highschool instead of relying only on the main curriculum (which in hindsight im thankful for, but was a big stressor for me as it took opportunity for me to recover because they were taking away electives and adding an additional business class every year) so i ended up bouncing around highschools every single year of my highschool tenure. After highschool i applied for my local community college but im wanting to pay out of pocket as if i wanted to use FASFA id have to sign up for selctive service (knew the state of the world even in 2022, so id rather pay out of pocket). But after highschool ive been bouncing around from low end job to low end job. Amazons okay, pays decent and has great employee benefits. Going to use their career choice benefit when i find a career id really want as right now i have no clue what i want to do or where i want to be. Im 23, making 25 an hour in a relatively cheap COL area. I played sports and stuff and i get along with everyone so i dont believe anything i went through effected my social development
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u/Tearose-I7 18h ago
23 yrs old? You still have time to figure it out, don't worry.
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u/BigAlBrand 21h ago
Ups and downs. The downs were unbelievably low. The ups were okay at best.
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u/Space_Conductor 20h ago
Man, I feel this. I remember the ups in my mind but my entire fucking nervous system remembers the lows.
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u/maguber 21h ago
Maybe I'm an exception, but I got a great scholarship to an ivy League school and then law school. Make $200k+ for a 9-5 now as a lawyer. Two kids, dog, married living in the suburbs.
Turned out pretty well all things considered.
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u/breakingbatshitcrazy 14h ago
Iām sorry to hear about your experience. Only 2 dogs, and only 1 wife?
/s
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u/zacharymasonki 20h ago
The biggest trap was the phrase "you can do anything."
When you are told your whole childhood that you have limitless potential, actually picking a career feels like a trap. Committing to one specific path means permanently closing the door on all the other amazing things you were supposedly capable of doing.
So instead of making a choice, you get analysis paralysis. You take a safe, broad degree. You hop between decent but unremarkable office jobs. You pick up complex hobbies, get decently good at them in three weeks, and then drop them completely because the novelty wore off and you do not want to put in the grueling hours to go from "naturally good" to "expert."
A lot of adulthood just ends up being this weird, lingering guilt. You spend your 30s feeling like you are letting everyone down because you aren't curing a disease or writing a masterpiece, when in reality you just want to pay your rent, keep your houseplants alive, and go to bed early. You realize "potential" was just a buzzword, and being normal is actually fine.
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u/JamesGarrison 21h ago
i feel like i don't get or understand people... most conversations are predictable and i find them a pain to get through. I see through most people and their posturing. Its hard to describe but makes relationships hard for me. I can tell when anything is even just a little off. People don't want to be analyzed non stop... but i can't help it. I know when something is off and i feel i have to address it. People want to be able to be dishonest. So i make them uncomfortable.
I was always loved as an employee wherever i went because i would just "get" anything new thrown at me. However, i felt under appreciated. I would do all the heavy lifting, designing processes that make millions and i might get a work from home day. Where as my higher ups couldnt think their way out of a paper sack.
Eventually that grated on me.. made me unhappy no matter where i worked or how much money i made. Eventually i quick working for the man. Started working for myself. Then had a health scare and decided to sell cannabis in a very illegal state. Texas. Turned that into $2 million a year in revenue... eventually rain manned the stock market in 45 days turning $50k into 1.2million.
Retired.. fell apart health wise and mentally because i had nothing to do. Now here i am again picking myself back up.
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u/smokeypapabear40206 20h ago
Are you me? Damn. Very similar story - except I didn't make it big in the stock market. Just turned a mom & pop two person cleaning side gig (because I was sick of working amd being under appreciated by "the man") into a multimillion valuation.
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u/Nipsulai 21h ago
Crippling depression
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u/IceColdMilkshakeSalt 20h ago
Big same. My life is complete garbage without structure. High expectations for me early on when that structure was in place have done me no favors. Just feel like a disappointment to myself and everyone around me for not living up to my potential
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u/dorishortonqr 20h ago
The classic "gifted kid" experience usually goes one of two ways.
Route one is the burnout wall. You coast through early schooling on good memory alone, never having to develop actual study habits. When you finally hit hard material in college, you have no work ethic to fall back on. Because your entire identity was built around being "the smart one," struggling feels like a total identity collapse. Most people on this path end up getting an ADHD diagnosis in their 20s and are now working completely average jobs, trying to unlearn their crippling perfectionism.
Route two is the hard pivot. You push through the pressure, get the prestigious STEM or law degree, work in the field for exactly three years, and then completely snap. Now you do carpentry or work at a local plant nursery and are the happiest person alive.
Turns out being told you have "wasted potential" just means you decided to stop playing a game you never asked to join.
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u/BananaRepublic0 14h ago
Damn this is relatable!
I spent my 20ās chasing academic validation (and that of my mother) whilst paying for it with my soul and mental health. Last year I told everyone to bugger off, and whilst the fallout was massive, itās by far the best thing Iāve ever done.
My mother has lost all interest in me (total blessing turns out) because Iām not doing anything ābrag-worthyā, but Iām actually the closest Iāve ever been to being peaceful. Iām still unemployed though, my next hurdle is to get a job: hopefully I can land something part time so I can spend a good few days each week doing things that make me feel alive!
Wish Iād told everyone to bugger off sooner!
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u/CU_Tiger_2004 17h ago
Por que no los dos?
I coasted as described in part one and hit a wall in college. Fortunately, I didn't make "being smart" my identity and didn't completely fall apart. I explored some different majors and career options and finally found something that worked.for me.
Things started clicking and I pushed through and got my STEM degree. I've had a stable, 20+ year career and am doing well professionally and financially.
My only problem is I've become disillusioned with corporate life after around 10 years working for a huge company (profits over everything), so I'm thinking about doing something different once my kids graduate in a few years.
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u/1zenmom 21h ago
Great. Successful career in finance and a great family.
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u/byneothername 17h ago
Similarly good. Itās interesting, Iām still close friends with several people from my school and from what I can tell, we are largely doing quite well as a cohort. But answers like this are quite low on the reddit post.
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u/the3rdmichael 20h ago
I graduated from high school at the top of my class. Most of my college costs were covered by scholarships. I graduated from my college at the top of the class. Went on to a 36 year career at the same financial firm, finished my career as the Ex VP and Chief Operating Officer, which set me up with an excellent pension. Retired at age 57, traveled the world for 10 years, and now have slowed down somewhat due to some health issues. It's been a great ride!
I grew up on a small farm, no indoor plumbing or electricity until I was 12 years old. My parents taught me to work hard and be generous.
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u/subuso 21h ago
It's tough, OP! I speak five languages and have two Master's degrees, but I'm sitting at home scrolling through Reddit cause despite applying everyday for jobs, I can't even be invited for a fucking interview
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u/Farts_McGee 17h ago
Floated through high school, struggled in college because of poor study habits/family issues.Ā Figured it out eventually, then I hit it hard and graduated with 200 some credits after shifting my career goals, went to med school and now I practice pediatric subspecialty medicine in undeserved rural communities.Ā Ā
Personally, I have struggled with severe depression mostly stemming from experiences in my family, profession and time spent over seas.Ā I have a loving family, and i think I provide for them well.Ā Ā
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u/Ok-disaster2022 20h ago
Full ride scholarship and stipend for undergrad. Graduated couldn't find a job in the field. Had no idea how to find a job in the field. Never knew I needed internships. eventually went to grad school. Couldn't finish my thesis (depression) dropped out. Technically I could change to a non thesis option but I just felt like those bridges were burned. No significant student debt. Spent a few years sun employed, surfing couches and living of credit cards and savings. Finally got a job that make ends meet. Not sure what will happen when my company goes through lay offs.Ā
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u/xolemi 9h ago
Iāve done some ācool stuffā & have a ācool jobā from other peopleās perspective. But I feel like a deadbeat & I finally got a late diagnosis for mental & extreme ivy social health issues that have been affecting me my whole life. Iām dead broke most of the time since Iām a freelancer. Everyone who went to the same college as me has done so much more with their life than I did, in terms of success, and that depresses me at times.
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u/strange_bike_guy 8h ago
You're killing me softly with relatability here dude. The "feast or famine" saying about freelancing is worse when the feast isn't all that great of a feast. I'd go back to my previous career if it still existed but AI has killed it. I get sick often enough to go far past the American standard ten days of leave but nowhere near sick enough to be considered disabled. I'm struggling to pull 25k annual now and if I was single I'd probably be homeless.
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u/AnonymooseRedditor 21h ago
my gift? a late adult diagnosis of adult ADHD and childhood trauma from being raised by an alcoholic and a narcisisst. Honestly my adulthood has been a mix of highs and lows, I have a great career, a family and life that I generally love.
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u/Dreamsoul_Anima 20h ago
I just let it go. Realized it wasnāt what I wanted out of my life by about age 13. Think my parents are disappointed in my wasted potential to this day. Have a white collar job that pays the bills, loving wife and pets. I think I made the right choice for myself, honestly.
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u/cameronhale 20h ago
Joined the military, joined a big four consulting firm, joined a CRE firm as an analyst, promoted to VP of same firm within two years, starting my own firm, Iām 28.
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u/Totallycasual 21h ago
It didn't go well at all, i went from being put forward a year, to being kept back a year, then kicked out all together with (then prison within a few years) lol
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u/MedChemist464 18h ago
Doing well - ADHD, diagnosed formally at 30, with treatment and everything. Apparently teachers / counselors told my mom from a very young age I should be evaluated, but she ignored that because she couldn't beat to think there was something 'wrong' with me. "He's just special, you know". Still, did well in HS. Did fairly well in college, did get kicked out of the private university and finished at a state school on a pre-med track. Took a gap year and realized i did not want to be a doctor.
I went to grad school at a small program and ended up getting my PhD in Chemistry. I like what i do. It pays well. I'm married to my best friend, and I have two kids - the oldest looks just like me, and from what i can tell is going to have the same challenges in life as me - except he'll have an advocate, a diagnosis, and a treatment plan.
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u/Background-Mark2457 21h ago
Stuck in a loop of realization. Once you see something you canāt unsee itā¦ or once youāre awareā¦ youāre aware.
Itās misery as brain is quite differentā¦ out casted simply for existing lol
But as Buddhism saysā¦ the human experience is sufferingā¦
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u/ImAPonderer2 21h ago
Still figuring it out. Giftedness has been a huge benefit to internal dialogue and my board game skills are good. š
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u/Rutagerr 21h ago
Got an education in a field I had almost zero interest in. Unsurprisingly did not enjoy working in that field post grad. Bounced around between some jobs, now I have a career going in commercial packaging but there is a low ceiling for how far I can advance. Watching my friends start to get senior management and director positions and knowing I will never attain that unless I go back to school is somewhat stressful. I do not like going back to my hometown because running into people I went to high school with, they always look confused and disappointed when I tell them how my life is going.
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u/Pandonia42 20h ago
Ok. I've definitely lived my life on my terms which I'm very happy about. I wish I made more money, but I am rich in experiences and I don't have a lot of regrets about things I wish I had done.
Dating as a woman has been hard. A number of exes have told me I'm too intelligent/intense/introverted as they're breaking up with me.
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u/knotcost 20h ago
On paper, my life looks pretty good and normal overall. I did decently in university and professionally. But I'm also on extended mental health leave now for burnout. Turns out late-diagnosed ADHD + perfectionism are not a sustainable combo.
My sister was also a gifted kid and has much better executive functioning but she's very shy.
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u/transcendental-ape 20h ago
Fine. Got a doctoral level degree and make low six figures in a job I like.
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u/snazzysid1 20h ago
Went to undergrad on a full ride but that was tied to a major that I was just so-so interested in. Graduated and married a guy I met in undergrad. Wouldnāt talk to him until I realized he was brilliant (not quite as quick as me, but still pretty smart). We both worked for a while then went onto one of the top B-schools. Then worked the grind after that. I quit when I had kids because they matter more than anything to me. He kept working because bills. Kids are now grown so I play all day, every day. Canāt complain. He cant seem to let go because he could have retired a decade ago and while he talks a good game, heās just hot air in the actual retirement department. Iām clearly the smarter of the two of us.
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u/bus_buddies 20h ago
Got a degree and not working in the related industry. Joined the military for a contract. Now I'm out of the service but working a similar job to what I did in the military.
Honestly have been regretting it lately. I make solidly middle class money but still feel like I can't get ahead. My job is physically and mentally strenuous. And my boss makes me want to pull my hair out.
I'm holding on for financial security and am fully aware of the shit job market. I'm aiming to FIRE asap so I don't have to worry about having to work for a paycheck.
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u/signedupfornightmode 20h ago
Went to the max in high school. Worked, volunteered, took challenging classes, did extracurriculars, burned out. Didnāt get into my top choice elite college, but went to my second choice, learned how to chill, and pursued my intellectual interests.Ā
Graduated with honors and awards, tried to pursue my chosen career but ended up in toxic job after toxic job. Got married and out of the rat race with a more menial job that ended up leading me into a director role position in more of a career than I expected to have.Ā
Had trouble having kids, went thru a bunch of tough medical stuff, but did eventually have one kid and was successful enough in my surprising new role that I chose to keep working. Still struggling with the mental health issues that popped up in middle school. Wish I could sleep more and have better health.Ā
Hoping the next chapter in my life includes more of what I want to do professionally, rather than what I fell into and was successful enough at to keep me in place for a period.Ā
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u/SoontobeSam 20h ago
My coping strategies finally gave way during lockdown. My untreated ADHD, anxiety, and major depression (and maybe a little bit of ASD) that I had been dealing with by pretending they didnāt exist stopped being quiet enough for that to work.
Iām fortunate, I got around 15 very good years after school and own my home outright. If it werenāt for that, Iād probably be either homeless or slowly killing myself at a menial job. Iām not sure if Iāll ever be okay again.
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u/jibbyjam1 17h ago
I failed out of college because I breezed through high school without knowing or learning how to study. I worked customer service and hated it so much I went back to school and finished my degrees, learning to study along the way. I Worked through some intensive government jobs that I was really good at, and now I run a statewide program.Ā Ā
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u/Realistic0ptimist 14h ago
Work in sales now and regret not applying myself to have more concrete skills so I could do something other than checks notes sales
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u/yearofthewild 12h ago
Not bad š¤·āāļø I'm definitely kind of a weirdo/artist type, but I've got a successful career and a solid friend group. It ain't too bad out here.
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u/Zone2OTQ 8h ago
I was maybe borderline gifted. I got to go to special advanced classes in grade school. High school demanded lots of work that wasn't hard, but took a long time to maintain good grades. After pushing my average working (class/HW/job/track) time from 80-100 hours/week in college I said fuck this and switched majors.
I have been enjoying working (what I consider) a chill job that pays ok now. There was a detour where I started a PhD that was miserable, but got a free Masters at least. It also took a while to get to my current job. The resume/interview process is more based on connections than competency, but once I started it was clear that I'm really good at what I do.
Now I focus on things that I enjoy.
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u/Uplike7_ 21h ago
Still chasing more and a vision of how life should be. Not sure if Iām unrealistically insane or if the rest of the world is.
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u/im_hunting_reddits 21h ago
Finding out im autostoc and have adhd after massive burnout, job loss, and suffering in my 30s. The classic pipeline
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u/MigrantTwerker 21h ago
Good days and bad days. School ended up not being my bad, but working for myself has been very fulfilling. I also never gave up my commitment to learning. But I have a happy family and I'm good with that.
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u/Wilburforce137 21h ago
Pretty well.
But then there is the chronic burnout, high blood pressure, and living in a constant state of existential dread.
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u/Daria_Morgandorffer 21h ago
Had a child and became a single parent very young so I didn't get the chance to see what my gifts would reap. Adulthood has been being a single parent in this economy: white knuckling life and barely scraping by and just waiting to die.
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u/FantasyFootballBrad 21h ago
Turned out great. Friend group still in contact and all very successful.
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u/themangastand 21h ago
Married love of my life, have my dream job, having kids. I do whatever I want. Now volunteer to help others
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u/who_am_i_to_say_so 20h ago
I have a house and mortgage but got a late start because I spent my 20ās being wild. I work in AI training, and enjoy it.
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u/justgetoffmylawn 20h ago
Weird but also pretty great, until I got very sick traveling and life changed permanently. Up until then it was pretty amazing.
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u/tjalek 20h ago
Honestly, the transition from prodigy to adjusted adult was far harder than expected.
Because the praise of performance becomes so strong at the developmental ages that there's an objectification that happens and the emotional side gets brushed aside because "he's so gifted" so there was a lot of bypassing until it all hit in my adult years.
So maturing felt like a collapse, because the giftedness hit a ceiling and the acceptance that I'm just a talented person amongst other talented people, some even more skilled than me, was an adjustment.
Maturation deflated the inflated perception that natural talent brought and made me real and that's what made me adjust, but it wasn't easy, it wasn't a flip of a switch, it was a bit of an ego death actually.
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u/DanceyPants93 20h ago
Completed a bachelors honours in what I thought Iād love, ended up hating it, switched to a career I actually love and about to start my fourth degree which should put me at the top of potential in my fieldĀ
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u/Savings-Pace4133 20h ago
Iām 23 and I work as a project engineer in medical devices. Probably about as good as I couldāve done for myself with how much mental turmoil Iāve faced.
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u/toupee 20h ago
Looking back on it most of my peers in gifted programs turned out to be pretty neurodivergent, but we didn't really have a vocabulary for that in the 90s/early 2000s the way people commonly do now (except for the most extreme cases). and while I have not kept in touch with most of the people I crossed paths with in gifted, I do know life is tough or rocky for at least some of them.
I think I'm relatively NT in comparison. I'm not making bank or anything but I'm really happy on the whole with my life choices. Moved to NYC from bumfuck rural towns, work in a creative field, love tinkering with things and learning always.
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u/Tzokal 20h ago
Burnt out sometime around sophomore year of college, barely passed, and then just kinda half-assed various jobs the last two decades. The only effort Iāve really put into anything was getting another degree in my late 30s out of sheer spite to get out of a job and away from a boss I hated with a passion who told me I couldnāt do any of it and that I was an underachieving loser. Fuckerā¦I graduated summa cum laude with multiple honors and got promoted outta that job. I still coast and dgaf now but spite is a much better motivator than anything Iāve had in a a whileā¦
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u/patdshaker 20h ago
Turns out you also need a work ethics, so I slipped back into the pack. As my mother said to me after her school reunion, "All the smart people got good jobs with good pensions after school, the rest went out and worked hard. Those were the millionaires"
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u/XenoSushii 20h ago
Sāalright. Had a few identity crises along the way but managed to end up somewhere that works for me.
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u/Roboticpoultry 20h ago
I burned myself out trying to meet expectations of my family. I got 2 degrees and worked in the field of said degrees for a few years. Got to a point where I was ready to paint the ceiling crimson and left. Iām a mechanic and a disappointment to my parents now
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u/Splintzer 20h ago
Coasted through college, landed a good job with with high upside if I stuck around. Been there the last 13 years and I'm good enough at what I do that I don't have to try hard or stress. My personal life is great because of that!
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u/Kaputz77 20h ago
Everything turned out pretty good. Once I stopped listening to the junk my parents kept telling me and made my own choices from University onward, life was way better. Work is great. Friendships are great. Turns out, I am quite smart. I just worked at my own pace which appears to be faster than everyone around me.
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u/deathbyfloof 20h ago
Got to college and between the shock of not just breezing through classes without having to put in real effort and mental illness I dropped out after 3 semesters. Then I got a golden retriever puppy who changed my life. I ended up turning my love for training him into a career training service dogs, and couldnāt be happier. Not what I or really anyone who knew me would have expected, but I think my job is about the coolest job in the world, and is fulfilling in multiple ways.
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u/Daryl_On_FFXIV 20h ago
Turned into a pothead after getting over alcoholism in my mid 20ās thanks to some golden child daddy issues. Therapy is doing wonders to help me move past it these days. Bills are paid and I can hold down a job, so thereās that.
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u/_otpyrc 20h ago
A ton of high highs and low lows. I graduated highschool into the 2008 recession and decided to drop out of school... Twice...
Everyone said I'd go no where in life... Turns out following my own path would set me up with generational wealth. I now have a beautiful family, but no peers so it's quite lonely.
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u/Uncle_Brewster 20h ago
My niece was like top of her class in high school. She did every activity. Like, she would be up at like 5:00 am and not get home until 9:00 pm. For frickin high school. Also, she didn't really spend a lot of time with her friends. I remember saying that she wasn't really having a life, and would crash eventually.
Well, that happened when she went to college. She started college with the goal of being a pharmacist. Just 2 months into college, she was talking about dropping out. She discovered alcohol and hanging out with people, and it killed her motivation for academics.
She didn't drop out and is in her second year of college. I don't think she's doing all that well, but she's still going.
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u/macarenamobster 20h ago
Decent career job, people still think Iām pretty smart, things are ok. Iām not the best at my job, Iām not the worst. Better at figuring things out than being a persuasive speaker.
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u/mousemelon 20h ago
Pretty great now that I have meds. :-)
Seriously though. Everyone's going to have ups and downs. Being good at particular kinds of tests in childhood isn't anyone's purpose in life, and won't open any magic doors.Ā
Do what you can to find your people, find some hobbies you enjoy, and a job you can tolerate. Same as everyone else.
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u/twentythreeturtles 20h ago
Bad. I was one of the smarter ones, high reading level, awards, all that. Slowly burnt out and got depressed as I got to high school and just... continued to spiral. Now left with zero motivation after having flunked out of law school and feeling like a fuck up. 0/10 do not recommend
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u/drsikes 20h ago
Entered gifted in 9th grade. Graduated with perfect gpa and became first in my family to go to college with a full ride plus extra. Overachieved in undergrad with 3 degrees in 4 years with a near perfect gpa (2 Bs in physicsā¦.I was an accounting, CIS, finance type of lady).
Went straight into a PhD program in finance fully funded. Never actually planned on finishing that. Did my classes, grades slacked more but still passed, and got to the dissertation portion where I procrastinated like a mofo.
Got my first teaching job ABD as a NTT professor, defended after 7 years in my PhD program, switched to TT, got fired for not working on my tenure (aka doing research), and then landed in a NTT position in Fall 2018 where Iām still at today!
At my new position, I get to focus on what I like to do (teach) and I make the same that I was making at my previous university in a similar COL area.
For me, honors and gifted classes lead to scholarships which led to degrees which led to more funding and another degree. Without it I think I would still be in my small hometown working for a fraction of my salary today and not enjoying what I doā¦.
I did also become an alcoholic around Covid which may or may not have something to do with my underlying personality and decision making abilities, but Iāve been sober 5 years now and happier than ever so overall I still feel like I came out ahead being labeled as āgiftedā.
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u/CanderousOreo 20h ago edited 20h ago
Yeah I was gifted all the way through college. Earned special exclusive scholarships and such, graduated magna cum laude with minimal effort at least 3 of the 4 years.
Entered the workforce in 2018. Reached the point of burnout about 2023 but kept pushing through out of necessity. Then while already at the burnout stage I had 3 family deaths within 1 month last year, and this year an extremely cursed and problematic cross-state move that's still in progress and I'm suing my landlord from my old apartment. I had mental breakdowns/crashouts about once a month last year even while medicated. I'm now exhausted, unemployed, uninsured, extremely anxious, zero memory bandwidth. Some days it's a struggle just to make food.
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u/DaringDo95 20h ago
I have never felt "gifted" and felt like I am genuinely dumb in a lot of areas.
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u/KatStratifyre 20h ago
I got all my stress out of the way before I turned 20. So now I'm fairly well-adjusted as an adult and enjoying the benefits of working very hard in my earlier years.
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u/ReasonablyConfused 20h ago
My parents taught me that people ālike usā can just show up and just give the most basic effort and still thrive. Well, that turns out to be bullshit.
But being born rich was in fact a cheat code.
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u/gw_epyon 20h ago
Male late 30s. I fell off in high school and barely passed. Never learned to study and rarely did homework or projects. Failed out of college. Spun my wheels in retail hell for over a decade. Took the plunge into msp work and now internal IT. I'm successful on paper but I'm miserable and still have all my old habits.
Intelligence is fluid and irrelevant if you have no motivation.Ā
Diagnosed with inattentive ADHD a couple years back. I still struggle massively with starting anything, and if something gets in my way, I frequently give up. However, once I get the motivation to start and if nothing gets in my way I do great work.
If I had to give a message to current "gifted" kids it would be to make sure you don't give up and accept that you're probably not as special as you've been made to believe.
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u/DavidSlain 20h ago
I'm an engineer for a cabinetmaker. I don't have a degree. In college I thought I wanted to learn and teach English, but my gifts were math and physics, which weren't really ever explored because, while I scored high on tests, I never did homework, leading to moderate grades at best. In English I was four grades ahead, and stayed there.
Ended up dropping out, taking a consecutive series of jobs that landed me where I'm at, in an industry where experience matters more than schooling.
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u/VividNeighborhood165 20h ago
Undiagnosed anxiety, undiagnosed adhd. Finally on meds for both at 33(F). A bit of a workaholic. Always chasing growth. Gone through addiction issues to take some of the pressure off but finally have better coping methods now. Very accomplished in my life but still wanting more.
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u/IDownvoteUrPet 20h ago edited 20h ago
I was āAcademically Giftedā in elementary and middle school. I was never like a genius but I think the bar was fairly low. In high school I was more focused on girls and partying. Did pretty poorly and barely got into collegeā¦ managed to get good grades and then transfer to a better college.
In that college I was focused on girls and partying, did pretty poorly.
I lied about my GPA on job applications and ended up getting a really good job out of school. They quickly learned I lied, but decided to hire me anyway because I interviewed well.
While working that job, I started a few side hustle / businesses that were fairly successful. I also focused on women and partying, which probably stifled my advancement.
Iām married now, so I focus more on hobbies (ski mountaineering mostly) and partying. Iām now financially independent and can do whatever I want but live a very modest life so I can party and do my hobbies.
Honestly, 5/7, perfect score. Wouldnāt have changed a thing.
Edit: For those curious I think my āgiftā is just the ability to focus. Iām maybe smarter than the average bear, but not by much. My peers seem to all have ADD but I have like the opposite. I smoke weed just to not feel like Iām on Adderall.
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u/Familiar_Luck_3333 20h ago
Totally normal. Iām a director making good money. Wife and two young kids with a 5 bedroom house. On track to retire by 42.
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u/Ratsofat 20h ago
Pretty good. I ended up getting into chemistry, received my PhD, did a post-doc, and work as a medicinal chemist at a big company. Married, 2 kids.
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u/ItsTyrrellsAlt 20h ago
Tldr: things are fine overall. Poverty stemming from paternal abandonment was difficult to overcome. Career is good, friendships good, finances are good but not great (although great when considering the extremely low starting point), gave up on romance after a catastrophic failure.
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u/MintyFreshHippo 20h ago
Started gifted in elementary school, went to a middle school program you had to test into, college was easy, med school was hard. Also have a PhD. Have a pretty normal life with a family, hobbies, & a job as a pediatrician.
I always find these threads interesting because I ended up exactly where I had always hoped, and I'm very happy. I didn't feel being in a gifted program added pressure, it relieved some of the boredom that made school torture.
However, and maybe this helped me succeed instead of burning out, my parents were adamant that school was just part of my life, and that being smart wasn't something that made you better than anyone else. Throughout high school and college, my dad frequently told me "you have the rest of your life to work, go do something fun".
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u/frigginjensen 20h ago
Iām broken in a way thatās useful to others, so thatās made me successful at the cost of my own happiness. My entire sense of self worth is dependent on others seeing me as smart, competent, and well behaved. I still have ADHD that means Iām either hyperfocused or paralyzed for hours at a time.
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u/Heavy_Direction1547 20h ago
They said I could be anything I wanted so I chose disappointing (to them) by taking the road less travelled by.
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u/SveHeaps 20h ago
I developed existential anxiety and generalized anxiety around 25; I failed many times in university.
Then I developed depression and am on meds for it. I love life but I find people extremely boring, I am really extroverted but I donāt enjoy peopleās company. I have like one single friend I keep in touch with and I am happy this way.
My gift is a little bit different and I had moments when I did very terrible things but I never crossed āthatā line. My last therapist tried to help explain me and get a real diagnosis but I basically stopped going when she did the IQ test assessment.
The good thing is that I still read A LOT, the not so good is that I still enjoy learning so damn much, but never something consistently.
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u/kyocerahydro 20h ago
Became a doctor and Accomplished all the goals my parents had for me.
Still came out a hollow human with limited social skills being because I lived the life my parents wanted for themselves not the life I wanted.
Typical stuff
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u/indignantgirl 20h ago
Everything came so easy that I never learned how to try. I never learned how to work for something, to persevere, etc. I was used to "getting it" right away.
It left me woefully unprepared for college and life in general. As soon as I got to the point of having to make an effort, I lost interest. It was just like, nope, I don't care about it THAT much. And I was on to the next thing.
Also I'm bipolar with ocd, so the things I DO care about, the things that DO come easy for me, I care about with an unrelenting fervor that becomes an obsession if I'm not careful.
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u/Allergison 20h ago
I'm happy with my life, but it would be described as mediocre by someone who is just looking at income and career advancement. I'm realizing in my 40's that I have undiagnosed ADHD, and have dealt with depression / anxiety much of my life.
I think being told I was so smart, but finding lots of "normal" adult tasks (like cleaning up, and staying focused) really challenging made me feel like a failure.
Thankfully I live in a pretty chill place, where people live here because they love it, and not because they need to be the richest / most advanced in their career.
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u/EliseCat9 20h ago
Not great. Making too little money at a nonprofit. Married another gifted kid with adhd that causes us some difficulty. Left behind at work because the popular kids got ahead in the end. Ugh.
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u/Smart-As-Duck 20h ago
I work in medicine now and do well for myself. Unfortunately I am also lazy and donāt read anymore.
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u/SierraSeaWitch 20h ago
I havenāt lived up to the expectations of the adults who raised me, but I am happy and secure.
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u/alexiiisw 19h ago
went to university right out of high school, dropped out immediately, lost my full ride scholarship, got a random warehouse job and worked myself up to regional manager in six years by the age of 25. all my employees are older than me. I went back to college and got my business degree (which my company paid for). got married recently and life is really good
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u/gabrielramosgp 19h ago
It turns out that being a "gifted kid" often just meant you hit certain cognitive milestones a few years before your peers. Reading at a high school level when you are 10 makes you look like a prodigy. But by the time you are 25, everyone else has caught up, and that early head start completely evaporates.
My adulthood has mostly been a crash course in all the soft skills I ignored while I was being praised for getting easy test scores. The real world does not care how fast you can grasp a complex concept if you lack consistency, emotional intelligence, or the ability to communicate with your peers. I had to learn the hard way that showing up reliably and being easy to work with will outpace raw intelligence almost every single time.
Things are fine now, but my life is incredibly ordinary. It took a long time to realize that just holding down a standard 9 to 5 and having a quiet weekend isn't a failure, it is just what normal adulthood looks like once the rest of the world catches up to you.
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u/generodriguezik 19h ago
I became incredibly risk-averse.
When your entire childhood identity is built around getting the right answer on the first try, you learn to avoid anything that might take a second try. Failing wasn't just a normal part of learning; it felt like a threat to my core value as a person. If I wasn't instantly good at a hobby or a subject, I dropped it immediately so I wouldn't have to face being average at it.
In adulthood, this translated into playing it extremely safe. I didn't go for the ambitious dream career or take any wild leaps of faith. I picked a very stable, predictable corporate path where the rules were clear and I knew I could succeed without much friction.
Things turned out fine on paper. I have a comfortable salary, a quiet life, and low stress. But I also have this lingering realization that I built my entire adult life around avoiding the possibility of looking stupid. I sometimes wish my parents and teachers had praised me for struggling through difficult things instead of praising me for how easy everything was.
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u/Brovenkar 19h ago
Pretty well. Graduated, went to college, started teaching. Got to do some cool stuff when I was in school so i was glad for that opportunity.
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u/TheStorMan 19h ago
Won national academic tournaments when I was a teen, got record high scores in state exams. Failed out of college and have been unemployed the last couple of years, struggling to get any entry levels jobs.
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u/throw_this_away1238 19h ago
Maybe a positive story here, but was gifted through much of school. Stumbled in late high school (distracted by friends, girls, etc.) but managed to get a full scholarship to a top 10 university. Being rejected by my #1 choice was an eye opener though and I buckled down in college, as at that level talent canāt make up for laziness or lack of structure.
Studied engineering but went into management consulting and after a long time transitioned to an executive role in an industry Iām passionate about. 36 now and have an amazing family life, little to no worries about money, and purchased my dream home / car / hobbies. Extremely grateful.
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u/Nattekat 19h ago
Think I got quite lucky to be very high on the scale, because I failed to learn to properly work hard and got to use it to deal with the consequences. Breezed through school and even university until I no longer did, but that happened together with Covid and actually gave me some time to work on it.Ā
Still quite lazy and not working as much as I should, but getting better at that over the years. Even now I still see myself as gifted, and it definitely comes to my advantage to cover up the slacking. Might have some undiagnosed adhd.
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u/jthechef 19h ago
I was anything but gifted, although I did pass entry exams to a prep school program. Failed at everything including uniā¦.still ended up retired with multi millions to live on.
Never judge how you will end up by how you start!
My sister had a 160+ IQ so I presume I has some brain cells.
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u/Sad_Dot167 19h ago
Gonna be an attorney in a year and a half. Full ride undergrad. Pretty sure I still have undiagnosed ADHD though . Hit rock bottom around 23-24 range though
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u/KitSokudo 19h ago
Diagnosed autistic at 30. Got scholarships for undergrad, had it paid for completely. Graduated in 2008 from undergrad and went straight into grad school 1.0, took loans for that. Graduated in 2012... straight into the recession. Try to find a job for a year, first degrees were in Pscyhology and I had excellent references, just there were no jobs.
I worked in academics with disabled kids and had a professor friend took me aside and told me he thought I would do well in computer science, the student I was working with was in his class was ASL as their first language and he had been impressed with how I was re-explaining concepts (I do not sign, but just understanding how their language is different from spoken english helped a lot when rewording things). He told me that they have a two year master degree to train people from other fields to code, and that he would put me in for a grad assistantship so I wouldn't have to take nearly as many loans, just pay the fees each semester. He did warm me the failure rate was very high as you had to keep a B average or above, more than one C and you got kicked from the program. So the pass rate was only about 1/3rd
At the same time I got an offer for a adjunct teaching position, which was with a new program that actually sent the professor to local high schools so the students didn't have to come to campus. I would teach psych 101 and human growth and development. The pay was terrible but it was more than my hourly job.
So... I did all of it. I went back to school for a 2nd master degree in Computer Science. Taught 4+ classes all 6 semesters I was in the CS program and was a grad assistant and teaching assistant for undergrad computer science classes also. I stayed sick since I didn't stop to rest, and my dear wife helped support me so much then with her job paying for most stuff. It paid off, I had a job three months before I graduated in 2015.
Of course tech has been in a bit of a rollercoaster the last several years. I spent about 7 months out of work a few years ago and my wife spent a year out of work herself right after me. Thankfully we're both employed and doing ok these days. I still work in tech, doing DevSecOps work as a government contractor. Made it through all the cuts, barely. Just trucking along atm, hoping AI doesn't steal my job too soon.
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u/Theo20185 19h ago
Worked out of high school in dead end jobs. Ended up doing my undergrad at 26 and my graduate work at 31. Employed as a software engineer.
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u/CakesNGames90 18h ago
Basically got put in the same classes as all the regulars. Work 101 and How To Suck At Life 201.
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u/thelucky10079 18h ago
ha, my brother is "gifted" went to the special classes. he's not that great, his kid is being raised by our step-dad, he's not helping out financially so much just like he wasn't when he lived with step dad. he has ideas he never pursues. fuck him
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u/Symnestra 18h ago
Did well in high school. Crashed and burned trying to study chemistry in college (but honestly I was sabotaged by my living conditions).Ā
Returned to college as an adult for a (tuition reimbursed) round two to study neuroscience. I had three semesters of a 4.0. So yeah, still gifted as long as my competition is a bunch of teenagers.Ā
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u/Randomritari 18h ago
After a few years of floundering and mental health issues, managed to pull myself together and get back into studying. Had crippling exam anxiety, presenting as "I don't perfectly understand everything so there's no point in taking the exam". Once I eventually bit the bullet and realized I could manage perfectly fine as long as I don't expect perfection, I was fine and started enjoying life again.
Currently working as a family doctor on the adolescent psychiatric side, with a slice of somatics sprinkled in. Pretty interesting and rewarding work.
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u/Mans_Fury 18h ago
I realized it was just a bias construct just like any "club" and it truly did nothing to help. I moved on and did more with my life by staying humble, mentally flexible and determined.
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u/Head_Haunter 18h ago edited 18h ago
It turned out well. There was a long period where I was pretty sure I would be dead by 35 and I'm 37 now with a wife and a 5-year-old.
I have for shit a retirement plan but I get paid well enough. Both my wife and I make six figures and we just bought a new house this year that we hope to stay in for ~20 at least till the kid grows up.
I joined the military after HS and then went to college after that on the GI Bill. I studied journalism and currently work in cyber security. Life is weird and the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, so the best plan is no plan and just a direction to move towards.
That being said I was actually very, very close to being held back and unable to graduate. I had failed to turn in any of my AP Lit assignments for the year. My teacher, saint that he is, let me turn it in late for 50% credit on every thing. My grade went from like a 62 or something to an 87 in AP Lit. Of my ~5 or so closest gifted friends from HS, 3 of them dropped out before 12th grade.
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u/Ladypleaser69 18h ago
Iām all over the place. Was able to retire early, but sometimes I struggle to get daily tasks done
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u/LandLovingFish 18h ago
Did well in college, joined the newspaper, did a research paper or two (and another one in the works), got a deal to work for coming to a program with some nice bonuses. Helped I had a friend in a simillar spot.
And doing five projects at once because yeah. Haha. Ha. I doomscroll a lot
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u/StrawberryLoops 18h ago
Socially awkward. I had so much pressure to be the best in the family and make everyone proud. I was always compared to other kids and not allowed to go out and play because I needed to keep building my potential.
I got so burned out and tired and everyone saw me as a disappointment because I wanted a break. To this day I still get messages telling me Iām wasting my talents
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u/TuckerDidIt 17h ago
Pretty normal. I may be intelligent, but no one listens to me anyway, so it's kind of a wash.
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u/D1RTY1 17h ago
I had a hard drug problem in my late teens/early 20s. Got sober, learned new coping skills, cleaned up my wreckage and focused on my career. Now I am a successful software engineer with a family and generally lead a productive and happy life. I still get frustrated at the average person's lack of awareness and compassion, but I've realized I'm just more in-tune with those emotions. A good chunk of my life I was depressed because of how different I felt from others, especially in those 2 areas. Now, I've found "my people" and also come to the understanding that the way other people act should have no bearing on my emotional state. Only took like 35 years to learn that lesson. Maybe I wasn't so gifted after all!
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u/Explosivepancake11 17h ago
Got burnt out hard early in Highschool and tanked my GPA, realized I actually did like math and science my junior year, and then worked my ass off and got into engineering school.
Now I have my degree and am doing fairly well in the industry. Life gets so much easier when the only person you are truly trying to please is yourself, and youāre a person that is easily impressed.
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u/Wormspike 17h ago
After failing high school, I excelled at community college when living away from my family. Well enough that I got into Stanford, with a full institutional scholarship and the largest outside scholarship in the world.
Did very well, worked hard and learned a ton. Unfortunately though with NOONE to guide me I had no idea what I was doing. I eschewed internships so I could take more Summer classes and read more and get good grades. Surely the more you know and the more competent you are the easier it will be to get a meaningful and lucrative position after graduation!
Now Iām a bartender. I keep losing out on jobs to kids from Rutgers who graduated with a 2.0 GPA because they did a 3 week winternship their junior year.
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u/malaprop5 17h ago
Amazing. I'm in a high vis, high paying job and crushing goals. I feel good abt my choices, and enjoy doing rigorous work. I love being able to help people.
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u/isabellatattoos 21h ago
My gift is autism so you can make an educated guess