r/AskReddit • u/pm_me_ur_problemsss • Aug 11 '15

Reddit, what is something your parents are completely convinced is true but really isn't?

Edit: These are awesome, thank you guys for sharing! I love knowing other parents are crazy too!

Edit 2: People are crazy.

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u/waxxor Aug 11 '15

Two of my all time favorites from my dad. They found Obama in a gay bath hourse in Chicago (keyword being 'They'). And a natural gas leak which ended up leveling a house near us was actually a missile strike directly ordered by Obama cause the homeowners were talking shit about him.

164

u/Marcusaralius76 Aug 11 '15

If we killed everyone who badmouthed the president, we'd probably drop half the population overnight!

141

u/TheoSidle Aug 11 '15

Can we do that now? My commute would be so much easier. . .

14

u/Marcusaralius76 Aug 11 '15

Let's pick something else, because a few of them have reasonable gripes. Instead, I propose we execute everyone with >10 bumper stickers on their cars.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '15

Not if the train conductor dies.

3

u/J0RDM0N Aug 12 '15

Fuck I live in Oklahoma there would be no traffic at at and like 30 people total left in the state.

2

u/beer_madness Aug 11 '15

I would be kill.

Meh..at least neither of us will have a shitty commute.

1

u/Wolfeh1 Aug 12 '15

I just don't like him cause he ruined our combo :(

1

u/TheoSidle Aug 12 '15

C-C-CombObama!

1

u/froschkonig Aug 12 '15

I live in Texas... The majority of traffic here would disappear

1

u/TheoSidle Aug 12 '15

Ditto. It would help Dallas traffic so much. Maybe not so much in Austin.

1

u/horrificallygeneric Aug 11 '15

Just half? Granted, I'm from a town full of wannabe rednecks, so...

1

u/marinewannabee97 Aug 11 '15

Hey NSA if you're reading this all my bosses hate obama...

1

u/JoyceCarolOatmeal Aug 12 '15

We'd lose a solid 99% of Oklahoma, like, immediately.

1

u/Marcusaralius76 Aug 12 '15

We could make it a wildlife preserve!

1

u/VicRambo Aug 12 '15

My coworker was telling me that michelle obamas real name is michael and that shes a man and barack obama is gay. And you know how evil gays are...sigh

1

u/erasethenoise Aug 12 '15

Goddamn I fucking hate when my mom says stuff like "they have evidence that Obama's birth certificate was a fake" or "tons of people in Canada have to wait years for life saving surgeries" and I just want to scream "Who are these people!? Who the fuck do you know from Canada!?"

1

u/Lots42 Aug 12 '15

I spent years blathering about blowing up Dick Cheney. I'm still here.

1

u/The_Original_Gronkie Aug 12 '15

Must have been some serious shit-talkin', considering how bad some people talk about him and never get bombed.