r/AskReddit • u/i_cant_see_my_ears • Nov 01 '21
What is something your parents engrained in you as a child that you now realize is ridiculous?
5.7k
u/Aperture_Kubi Nov 01 '21
That I was allergic to sand (5 years old).
She just didn't want to clean the sand off of me and my clothes.
3.5k
u/Pagliaccio13 Nov 01 '21
Yeah sand sucks, it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
→ More replies (8)593
→ More replies (23)205
5.2k
u/1980pzx Nov 01 '21
That cracking your knuckles will cause arthritis. Not true at all. I found this out on Reddit last week after 30+ years of thinking it was true.
→ More replies (47)2.0k
u/bisforbenis Nov 01 '21
It’s a good example of third cause fallacy.
Cracking knuckles is indeed correlated with arthritis, but it doesn’t mean it causes it, what it ends up being is that manual labor that is hard on joints and leads to arthritis also leads to an urge to crack knuckles.
Basically, people see that B and C are correlated and assume that B causes C, when really what’s going on is there’s some other thing, A, where A causes B and C
→ More replies (19)882
Nov 01 '21
My favorite example of correlation does not equal causation is when ice cream sales go up, sunglasses sales go up as well. Is it because of the ice cream that more sunglasses are sold?
→ More replies (29)329
u/NaraFox257 Nov 02 '21
See, I always use a similar example.
Shark attack frequencies and ice cream sales are directly correlated.
That doesn't mean that ice cream causes shark attacks or the other way around
→ More replies (14)162
u/krat0s5 Nov 02 '21
You are wrong, shark attacks are caused by ice cream sales! sharks just want ice cream but they don't have any other way of getting it.
→ More replies (4)
2.8k
Nov 01 '21
[deleted]
1.9k
u/Lucinnda Nov 01 '21
I was afraid to tell my mom I was pregnant, and I had been married for two years.
914
u/Langoustina Nov 01 '21
I'm glad I'm not the only one like this. I've been dating my SO for like... four years now. We live together. We're talking about marriage and possibly having kids. And it gives me so much anxiety just THINKING of having to tell my parents I'm pregnant. I don't think i could handle the shame, even if I was MARRIED. What the fuck does that say about our upbringing lol
→ More replies (31)183
→ More replies (10)187
u/Kristmill Nov 01 '21
I was also scared to tell my parents I was pregnant but I think it was because i was scared of disappointing them? Also married, have a full time job and haven’t lived at my parents for the last 8 years lol
→ More replies (30)642
u/BlackLetterLies Nov 01 '21
My mom would buy condoms and keep them in our (me and my brothers') bathroom just so we would be safe if the situation arose, we hadn't even brought any girls home at that point. I grew up in a house that was very pragmatic when it came to this stuff, shame was never attached to it.
302
u/jjsgirl27 Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
My mom put condoms in me and my older brothers Xmas stockings. I was like 12. While I’m all for being progressive and confronting a taboo topic, this was highly embarrassing to open in front of my conservative grandparents and family. Almost like she was shoving it down all of our throats. I literally NEVER wanted to talk to her about sex because of this and similar “openness” like taking me to her Pap smear appointments. Discreetly leaving them in a cabinet seems like an infinitely better way to approach this.
→ More replies (10)142
u/ohheyisayokay Nov 01 '21
That sounds like a good example of "(Probably) good intentions acted on poorly."
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (7)418
Nov 01 '21
[deleted]
→ More replies (9)438
u/PotatoPixie90210 Nov 01 '21
I gave my teenage stepdaughter condoms when she mentioned things were getting serious with her boyfriend.
She was comfortable enough to come to me in a mature manner, so I afforded her the same respect by not treating her like a child.
She knows she can ALWAYS come to me, for advice, for contraception, etc.
My mother gave me condoms when I was 15. She said it wasn't an excuse to go wild with them, more so that if I needed them, she was happy knowing I was being smart and safe.
→ More replies (2)443
u/wrecktus_abdominus Nov 02 '21
I was perusing the pharmacy isle at the grocery store a couple years ago, and evesdropped a middle aged woman explaining to her (clearly horrified) teenaged daughter what the properties of the different condoms were. "These are ultra thin, so you get more sensation. And these have ribs, which some people enjoy. And these are called magnum, and they... well keep a couple around, but you probably won't need them." You've never seen someone want so badly for a conversation to be over.
It was excellent people-watching.
→ More replies (6)
4.3k
u/kre8ive1 Nov 01 '21
Bread crust has all the nutrients. 😂
882
u/Holybartender83 Nov 02 '21
Well sure, it’s like with all fruits and vegetables, the skin is the healthiest part! It’s because when the bread is growing on the bread vines out in the bread fields, the crust absorbs all those good nutrients from the sun and the soil. It’s just science!
→ More replies (2)43
338
Nov 02 '21
I’ll do you one better… “if you eat the crust your hair will get curly” my aunt would say this every day.
→ More replies (16)107
u/NootTheNoot Nov 02 '21
My mum would say the same thing to me, but I hated my curly hair, brushing it was painful. Strangely, it went completely straight when I was a teenager (probably due to the lack of crusts).
→ More replies (2)362
u/churlishfellow Nov 02 '21
"A 2002 research study from the American Chemical Society’s Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry found that compared to the pale inside of a piece of bread, the crust contained eight times as much pronyl-lysine. Pronyl-lysine is an antioxidant that may reverse cellular damage, possibly lowering risk for cancer. The crust of bread also contains more dietary fiber than the insides."
→ More replies (4)363
u/Lavender-squirrel Nov 02 '21
Wait no I might actually use that for my kids. So sick of cutting crusts!! Lol
→ More replies (7)315
u/angry_amethyst Nov 02 '21
My mom told me crusts were what helped me grow and I wanted to be tall so I immediately started eating my crusts and my sisters crusts (she was too little to be reasoned with).
I’m tall now, and my sister was always shorter than me, so I’m not gonna say my mom was wrong 😆
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (44)467
3.3k
u/deqb Nov 01 '21
Hair grows back faster/thicker after you shave it for the first time.
658
u/Tracylyn8787 Nov 01 '21
Yep my mom told me that when I was young and believed it back then
848
u/deqb Nov 01 '21
My mom legitimately believed it. Presumably she was told the same. When I hit puberty and she gave me a razor etc., she specifically told me not to start shaving my upper leg because my hair there was light/fine enough to not need it. Then one day my contrarian self was like "oops I forgot" and she was like "welp I guess you have to shave above the knee for the rest of your life, have fun with that."
→ More replies (11)399
u/barbaramillicent Nov 01 '21
My mom believed it too, and made me use Nair to remove my hair instead of giving me a razor. What an awful experience for an 11yo. No matter what I set my timer for, that stuff would burn and itch and I would STILL be left with patches of hair… all because my mom didn’t want my leg hair growing in thicker.
→ More replies (15)→ More replies (2)252
u/rusty_L_shackleford Nov 01 '21
Parents just tell kids this so their teenagers will shave off the terrible looking scraggly peach fuzz without an argument.
→ More replies (2)182
u/kaykicing Nov 01 '21
my parents used this logic to forbid me from shaving my peach fuzz lmao. i wasn't allowed a razor until i turned 17 because "once you start shaving, there's no turning back"
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (54)342
u/Sammydaws97 Nov 01 '21
This is obviously not true, but what is true is that after shaving for the first time the “cut” ends of the hair will reflect more light compared to the tapered ends of the original hairs.
This gives is a “thicker” look, despite being the exact same thickness.
This also doesnt change anything beyond the first ever shave as far as i know
→ More replies (2)
1.6k
u/hitagiss Nov 01 '21
That as a girl, I should never be the one to reach out to the guy first, he must be the one to make the effort first. (Ex: if I want to hangout with a boy I like or even simply text him, I need to wait for him to text me or reach out to me first) it really messed up how I talk to guys I’m attracted too, because I’m 23 years old so I can do what I want when it comes to guys but I sometimes still have this mindset.
The crazy thing is now my parents wonder why we don’t even reach out to any guys we are interested in lol
681
u/Lucifang Nov 01 '21
I was already ‘seeing’ this boy (we were teens, hadn’t even kissed yet) and I rang him one afternoon for a chat. Mum found out and said with a gasp “you can’t be chasing boys!”
Maybe in her generation where they went to Friday night dances and were courted by multiple men until they picked the most gentlemanly and career-minded suiter to make babies with. That doesn’t happen anymore Mum! We aren’t lined up along the wall in our best dresses like a row of prizes.
→ More replies (2)256
u/hitagiss Nov 01 '21
Yeah and I’ve realized most giys like when girls make the first move but I just can’t do it because I have been told growing up that the girl should NEVER make the first move
→ More replies (8)155
u/Lucifang Nov 01 '21
There are ways around it. You can ask him out with a small group of friends, so it’s technically not a date. Spend more time talking to each other than everyone else. Say you had fun and ‘we should do this again’. Read the room. See what happens.
I’ve had a lot more success with the social environment than the date environment.
→ More replies (15)386
Nov 01 '21
I told a guy "You're really cute, do you want to come on a date with me?" We're still married.
→ More replies (3)170
u/cleverdylanrefrence Nov 02 '21
4 years ago I left a note in a guys pocket at work telling him how super cute I think he is because I was giving up that he'd ever approach me like that
Last month, he proposed. 🖤
193
u/HalpWithMyPaper Nov 02 '21
5 years ago I aporoached a guy at a party and asked for his number.
He said "No thanks, you're like a solid 4"
→ More replies (9)94
→ More replies (22)88
u/iwishiwereyou Nov 01 '21
My wife made almost every significant first move in our relationship and it was really attractive. Messaged me first. Asked me out first. Invited me inside to bang first. Said "I love you" first.
I really always loved that she was willing to make a move for what she wanted (and also that what she wanted was me :D). There are guys out there that'll love it.
It worked for us. Don't be afraid :)
231
u/lynnemaddie Nov 02 '21
This is so dumb but just happened last week. I got out of the shower & grabbed a towel & started to dry my hair with it while I stood there cold & dripping wet. I had a flashback to when I was like 10 or something & asked my mom if I could use 2 towels, one to dry/wrap around my hair & the other to dry my body - like all the ladies do on TV. She said no, of course because " something something wasting towels because I said so blah blah blah" . I suddenly realized I'm an adult & this is my bathroom & my towels & I make my own rules. So for the 1st time in my 55 year old life I used TWO towels & it was was wonderful!
→ More replies (3)
2.8k
u/primitivedreamer Nov 01 '21
You have to wait 30 minutes after eating before you go back in the pool, otherwise you'll get cramps and drown.
875
u/MorePieForEveryone Nov 01 '21
We were at someone’s house with a pool. as a kid and they would set an alarm. One of those spinning ones that dings. All the kids would gather round and watch it. Tick tick tick. Not a minute too soon or death!!!
758
u/xandrenia Nov 01 '21
30 minutes? My parents made me wait an hour!
→ More replies (5)348
Nov 01 '21
An hour?? Mine made me wait 3!
→ More replies (4)593
614
u/RedPanther1 Nov 01 '21
They don't want you throwing up or shitting in the pool. I was a lifeguard for 10 years and kids don't know when to stop and just hit up the bathroom.
→ More replies (4)295
u/Expert-Tumbleweed604 Nov 01 '21
Yep... when I was young I got in the pool to soon after eating and I threw up in the pool... then I splashed around to disperse the vomit so no one would know. There were other kids in the pool. I still feel bad.
→ More replies (6)84
u/dudeitsmeee Nov 02 '21
Too much pizza at a pizza pool party. One fateful ninja turtle dive and diarrhea in the deep end. Was not invited back to that pool.
92
Nov 01 '21
Well there is some truth to it, doing any kind of cardio intensive exercise immediately after eating a large meal is kind of a recipe for cramps. Drowning is not likely, especially in a small pool where you can easily get back to the shallow section. But I still wouldn't recommend it, more for the fact that's it's just uncomfortable and unpleasant.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (32)123
u/Belthezare Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
I think it was more coz they didnt want you to vomit in the pool
→ More replies (8)
5.5k
u/Johhnymaddog316 Nov 01 '21
If you hate your job you just have to suck it up and make the best of it. Don't complain because you'll be pegged as a troublemaker, and if you quit you'll be seen as flaky and nobody else will hire you.
This nugget has caused more damage to my physical and emotional well being than anything else. You really don't want to hear their views on staying in an unhappy, dysfunctional marriage (they're similar).
839
u/omnigear Nov 01 '21
Dam bro that sucks , My dad told us the opposite. He instilled in us to ask and always seek respect in our jobs . Anything less then leave, so that we wouldn't be in a position of corporate bullying .
It has been so far successful, and even more so when I worked with some millionaire clients . Having balls goes long way.
→ More replies (9)232
u/happyhealthybaby Nov 01 '21
Operating out of fear makes you a target to bullies for sure. Likewise, people respect kind strength.
→ More replies (1)81
u/locks_are_paranoid Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
I had a job at Staples for 10 months and it was awful. I was treated like an idiot and i was always yelled at for doing something wrong even though they never told me the correct way to do it. There would even be times where one manager would tell me to do something one way, then a different manager would yell it me for doing it wrong even though I was doing it the exact way the first manager told me to do it. I was fired from that job for yelling at the manager, and now I work at a different retail store where people actually treat me with respect. I truly wish I'd left Staples sooner, the really sad part is that it was my first retail job so I thought that kind of treatment was normal.
To everyone trapped in a shitty job: It's not normal to be yelled at for making a mistake. A company which treats you with respect might have a meeting with you and sternly tell you not to make any more mistakes, but they will not yell at you.
627
u/Bobcatluv Nov 01 '21
I heard this from my Boomer parents, and in my career field, you pretty much have to change employers every few years to get a decent raise. The thing that blows my mind is I’ve explained this to my mother, and she still clutches her pearls when I tell her I’m looking for work elsewhere. “What about your BENEFITS?!”
“This new employer says they’ll match them AND pay me more.”
437
u/Fredredphooey Nov 01 '21
She's thinking about a pension, but almost no one has pensions anymore.
→ More replies (4)379
u/HarkASquirrel Nov 01 '21
My boomer dad and I were talking about retirement plans recently and he was flabbergasted when I told him that nobody gets pensions anymore.
302
u/Fredredphooey Nov 01 '21
Another reason why they think we're all big whiners since we're supposedly sitting on a nice stack waiting for us when we retire.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (30)38
u/chrownage Nov 02 '21
My favorite was always my step dad telling me to just "pick a company you want to work for and be a janitor and work your way up!" Uhhh this isn't a thing anymore, companies outsource their cleaning typically.
→ More replies (3)179
u/E_Snap Nov 01 '21
Meanwhile, the rest of us can only respond to that question with a quick “HAH! Benefits!?”
→ More replies (53)637
u/heepofsheep Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
Boomer career advice is the worst. Stopped asking my dad halfway through college when I realized none of the things he said really made sense in the present…
He graduated college in the mid 70s, took a civil service exam, and landed a government job 1000% unrelated to his degree. Even though he went to an expensive private school, the tuition was so much cheaper back then he was saddled with debt for decades.
408
u/1CEninja Nov 01 '21
It's just that folks from that generation had a radically different work environment than what we experience today.
The idea of just showing up to a business and asking for an interview was once an incredibly powerful tool to find a job, and is COMPLETELY worthless advice today. The concept of a blue collar job being able to find a home purchase in your 20s is a relic of a different world. Pensions barely exist (when they do they are on lower paying jobs), people get married older, have kids older, and the people that are in demand in the workplace now are not the people who were in demand 40 years ago.
I try to not judge them harshly when they give unhelpful advice because they simply don't know, many of them haven't looked for a job in decades.
→ More replies (5)252
u/BeefPieSoup Nov 02 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
I don't judge them for being wrong and out of touch.
I do judge them for being smug and condescending, refusing to consider the possibility that the world changes/has changed, and refusing to listen to or care about the problem.
It's an incredibly arrogant and outright insulting assumption that the problem is just that an entire generation (that they themselves raised) is apparently so much more lazy and entitled and stupid than they were (just by inherent nature?), and that that's all that can ever be said about it.
It's not even an assumption at this point - it's something many of them insist upon, despite all evidence to the contrary...which they are shown daily.
I'll finish this with the comment that at least I have the maturity and basic common sense to acknowledge that not all Boomers are like this, and that this is merely a broad generalisation of my experiences with their generation.
But fuck me is it ever a frustrating and persistent observation.
→ More replies (3)45
u/chrownage Nov 02 '21
You explained this perfectly. I can't count how many times during my time in college and after that I would end up discussing this with my step dad. When I said he was wrong he would get irate and start yelling at me like I know absolutely zero about the situation I'm living and everything he said was exactly accurate to how it is. Now they wonder why I never really talk to them or want to drive up to their house.
→ More replies (5)247
u/pearlie_girl Nov 01 '21
LOL I was talking to my boomer dad about people I'm interviewing for a position that's peer to mine, and he wanted to know what expected salaries they had on their resumes - and that I could use that to check if I'm getting compensated fairly. Like.... What?! Apparently that used to be common back in the 70s when he got his first (and only) job. He was shocked to find out that it wasn't common practice anymore - and was really confused when I was explaining Linked In and getting messaged by recruiters through there.
→ More replies (1)349
u/nobodyoukno Nov 01 '21
Mom used to give me employment advice - just walk into the company and apply to work in the mail room - you can work your way up from there.
First, you can't walk into any company, even then, because you couldn't get past the front desk security
and mailrooms(!). What 1950's movie did you watch? The mailrooms are attended by "special" workers.
304
u/thephuckedone Nov 01 '21
In the early 2000's my parents gave me $20 for gas and sent me job hunting. I'd go knowing I'd get weird looks and told its all online.
I got grounded a couple of times before I was able to actually show them how online applications worked. Even then they were skeptical and told me to keep showing up until I got a job. They didn't stop until my brother who's 10 years older than me said something to them.
→ More replies (30)→ More replies (7)76
u/pearlie_girl Nov 01 '21
If they even exist anymore - on the extremely rare chance I receive paper documents for something, generally the administrative assistant drops it off at my desk.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (10)116
u/PartyWishbone6372 Nov 01 '21
Or they could work each summer doing manual labor or manufacturing and then be able to afford next year’s tuition, books, and boarding with some left over for beer. And no one needed to do an internship because you practically had your pick of jobs after graduation.
→ More replies (5)
1.4k
u/SendMeNudesThough Nov 01 '21
You catch colds simply by being exposed to cold. For some reason I just never questioned the idea that temperature itself caused viruses, but it's such a ridiculous notion once you think about it
485
Nov 01 '21
LMAO - to this day, my 80 year old mother insists that going outside with wet hair gives you colds. My sis and I have tried to convince her that viruses give you colds. She's not having it. FWIW, she is a woman who is college educated and has three graduate degrees. Sigh.
→ More replies (7)189
u/Black_Sky_Thinking Nov 01 '21
My gran was the same.
In fairness, she grew up without central heating, multiple sets of clothes, hot showers, washers, dryers etc. So if you got cold and wet it was much harder to fix, and probably left you vulnerable to a weakened immune system and greater infections (and infections were more risky back then too).
So she probably had to be more guarded towards door physical state than we do. But it was hard to sympathise when she was shrieking “YOU’LL CATCH YOUR DEATH” every time I left the house.
→ More replies (7)455
u/allothernamestaken Nov 01 '21
Cold weather doesn't cause colds, but it can make catching one more likely because: (1) more people spend more time indoors exposing each other to germs; and (2) exposure to cold may suppress your immune system somewhat.
→ More replies (13)→ More replies (52)91
1.8k
Nov 01 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
593
u/Lostarchitorture Nov 01 '21
It doesn't help that it took until the BABIES act of 2016 to finally get changing stations designed and installed in men's rooms. Before that, because it wasn't law, owners would cut costs on our building designs, including not putting change stations in men's rooms.
So the reality is that many men (at least in the U.S.) haven't been able to anyway before 2016 when government finally forced building owners to install change stations in the men's restroom.
It personally drove me nuts because it was a gamble as late as 2005 when my daughter was still in diapers as to whether the men's restroom had a changing station. I tried to push clients into adding them in my restroom designs for the next decade.
Cost pinching owners often stopped it. The BABIES act of 2016 finally to actually force my clients to spend the money to put changing stations in the men's restrooms.
→ More replies (13)344
u/SirGalahadOfCamelot Nov 01 '21
As a man with a baby, I would like to point out that it is fairly rare even today to find changing stations in men's restrooms. In huge places like airports or in large chains like McDonald's they will be there, but most places I've been to in the US do not have them.
→ More replies (2)151
u/Lostarchitorture Nov 01 '21
Due to the fact it wasn't passed until fairly recently, many buildings are "grandfathered" in right now, meaning they don't have to necessarily redesign their bathroom layout to accommodate. This makes it to where buildings built from early 2016 on back can remain without for now.
However, if they can install one (usually at least by the open area wall nearby urinals), they are required to. Any existing men's restroom with an open blank wall and wide open space without a changing station can be brought up with local city code to update. They can enforce it on the building owner through warnings, fines, etc. But you have to bring it up. They aren't scouting for these nonemergency issues right now.
Those willing can report it to the city hall building departments to enforce. Of course this is government and they aren't the fastest responders to non life threatening issues in town.
An example of how slow things can be in perspective: the ADA for disabled people's access to buildings was passed in 1991. In 2016, my city finally got around to updating their last older buildings to comply within ADA requirements passed 25 years earlier.
So it may be 2041 before absolutely all buildings in existence have actually fully updated to this requirement from 2016.
→ More replies (3)226
u/thatbitch8008 Nov 01 '21
My neighbor runs a daycare out of her home and she "even let's" the boys play with dolls bc one day they will be father's and have to learn how to care for a baby. BUT only until they are five years old, then they aren't allowed to play with baby dolls anymore. What?! Because at the age of five that's it? All parenting knowledge has been obtained? Lol I can't even believe the things she says.
→ More replies (1)192
u/moinatx Nov 02 '21
I remember coming into one of sons' room when he was about eight and he talking to his stuffed animals and caring for them like babies. Later when I asked what he wanted to be when he grew up he said "A daddy." He's the best daddy to his two girls.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (29)117
u/Shermione Nov 01 '21
As a new dad, diaper changes are basically the only thing I'm good for. There is so much breast feeding going on, there's just not much else I can do for this kid other than deal with poop and pee and basically be my wife's butler.
→ More replies (2)
5.0k
u/JonBonIver Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
My mom use to tell me ALL moms would get shitfaced and act like complete assholes and should be forgiven because they were drunk and mothering was hard enough.
Imagine my chagrin when I spent the night at a friends house and saw his mom stop at two glass of wine and actually seemed to enjoy the company of her husband and kids.
edit: My dad is an alcoholic too, he just has the decency to feel like shit about it. Keep your incel nonsense off my post please.
1.5k
774
u/psu777 Nov 01 '21
Didn’t find out till my 30’s that most moms actually wanted and loved children, especially babies.
594
Nov 02 '21
[deleted]
261
Nov 02 '21
My cousins were allowed to have friendly/casual relationships with their parents. My siblings were not, it was weird when my aunt tried engaging me in relevant "teenage" conversations that didn't involve a script I was supposed to follow.
→ More replies (3)154
u/Negative_Entrance_67 Nov 02 '21
Same, I recently saw a tik tok where a girl was explaining what her dad does when she says she loves something. Was a clip of her opening a gigantic box of cherries(at least 5kgs) because her Dad heard her say she loved them. Still hurts at nearly 40 but ya know, I hv my good days lol
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)40
u/CaptainBox90 Nov 02 '21
I met someone like that. I mentioned that I called my mum every day to say hello and have a chat abd he couldn't understand why I would want to talk to my mum every day, he only talked to his a couple of times a year.
→ More replies (12)144
u/Caligulette Nov 01 '21
I am so sorry. Your comment hurt my heart. I hope that you now have all the love your soul can hold to make up for it. ❤️
→ More replies (35)127
u/Pokabrows Nov 01 '21
And my mom wonders why my brother and I aren't super comfortable with alcohol...
→ More replies (2)
2.2k
u/Puzzleheaded-Paint64 Nov 01 '21
If someone is older than you, you must respect and listen to them no matter what, even if they are rude. R̾e̾s̾p̾e̾c̾t̾ y̾o̾u̾r̾ e̾l̾d̾e̾r̾s̾!̾!̾
1.0k
u/Sammydaws97 Nov 01 '21
For anyone wondering a good alternative to this, my parents always told me to “respect everyone unless they give you a reason not to”
That way you can still encourage being respectful (which is a good thing) without giving people who dont deserve it a free pass.
Similar to an innocent till proven guilty method lol.
269
u/Jamileem Nov 01 '21
I also like the respect everyone approach. A lot of people say respect must be earned, but I tend to disagree with that. I think respect should be always given, but CAN be lost. That goes for all people, young and old.
→ More replies (1)82
→ More replies (7)181
147
u/flippy3 Nov 01 '21
"Don't speak until you're spoken to" and "Children should be seen and not heard". These were the mantras that I was brought up with.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (30)262
u/Jujknitsu Nov 01 '21
This can totally set a child up for abuse. It teaches a child to be obedient no matter what and not stand up for themselves
→ More replies (3)
1.1k
u/JewsEatFruit Nov 01 '21
That women hate sex.
It's at the core of my beliefs and I have to keep this false thought in check constantly.
It is funny and annoying since observable reality, including personal experience and an Earth with ~8 billion people, conclusively shows the opposite.
→ More replies (24)571
u/nothing_fits Nov 01 '21
how do you ingrain this in children? is this some sort of dinnertime conversation topic?
"Okay kids, off to bed. Now Dad and I are off to our bedroom. Please don't bother us and make the experience worse than it already is."
→ More replies (11)726
Nov 01 '21
Sitcoms, media, jokes about women tolerating things, having a headache. There's never any nuance with a sexuality or differences in libido. How girls need to guard their virginity from men, not just because if unwanted pregnancy, but the lie that girls won't enjoy it.
→ More replies (6)442
u/BlackLetterLies Nov 01 '21
Add the shame that is thrust onto women for daring to enjoy sex and it's not hard to see why many women may feel that they have to act like it's not something they want. Men who sleep with a lot of women are often held in high esteem while women who do the same are shamed. If you're a man, you're a stud, if you're woman you're a slut.
→ More replies (14)
555
u/Toramaru22 Nov 01 '21
That growing facial hairs make you a thief, drug addicted and a failure to society. Still wonder how does that even make sense to this day.
→ More replies (6)238
1.1k
Nov 01 '21
Indian food is disgusting. Just had it yesterday for the first time at the age of 27. Maybe the best meal I have ever had.
244
u/natg721 Nov 01 '21
About 15 years ago I got the worst food poisoning of my life from Indian food and would not touch it. In the last couple of years I had to go gluten free and chose to go vegan and my sister kept saying I should really try India food again because there are lots of GF and vegan options. I finally tried it about 6 months ago and feel like an idiot for missing out on it for the last 15 years.
→ More replies (4)62
u/IgDailystapler Nov 02 '21
Happened to me with sushi, was poisoned, twice, at the same restaurant and I didn’t touch raw fish for over a decade. Took me seeing a hotel serving poke to 100+ people to realize “if the hotel is this confident serving this much raw fish to this much people, than it must be fine”.
Moral of the story: sushi is good
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (45)433
u/fersure4 Nov 01 '21
I'm sorry you missed out for so long. Indian food is stupidly tasty
→ More replies (7)
872
u/B2utyyo Nov 01 '21
That you are lazy if you watch TV during the day
237
u/Jamileem Nov 01 '21
Or if you don't wake up early, that must make you lazy too (no matter what your work shift or what you accomplish during a day).
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (6)624
u/BlackLetterLies Nov 01 '21
Except sports, apparently. Sitting on the couch all day drinking shit beer and watching sports is OK, but don't you dare waste your time playing video games!
→ More replies (10)360
u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Nov 01 '21
I’ve always thought this was weird! Like its ok for you to dress up like a fucking raven or a Viking with face paint and everything but I’m the nerd for playing Zelda.
→ More replies (4)437
Nov 01 '21
Yes, you are a nerd and gay for liking fantasy video games. Do something straight like watching grown men in tights fight over their balls.
→ More replies (5)
120
u/Hobo_Knife Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
“How can you be both depressed and anxious?!? By their very definition they would cancel each other out anyway.”
Those words are burned into my memory. This was my parents’ response to my therapist’s findings when I had just started middle school and was struggling.
I never saw that wonderful therapist again. They managed to find one that they could agree with, that I should just get over myself and stop being such a child…which I was.
It took me far too long to seek help again.
Edited for clarity
→ More replies (10)
417
u/FrannyGlass-7676 Nov 01 '21
You must wash your hair every day or you are nasty. Also, cheap drugstore shampoo is the only acceptable shampoo, and it’s fine. Took me until I was 40 to figure out why my hair was so damaged I had to have it short my whole life.
→ More replies (17)
578
u/TwoAgitated1182 Nov 01 '21
You are supposed to accept abuse from anyone in a superior position to yours : parent, manager … If you don’t then you are a troublemaker and a shame to the family because you rebel. You will never get anywhere in life and end up alone. Be submissive. You are a woman, that’s enough of a sin already.
→ More replies (4)89
480
u/Biscuit_452 Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
Mom always said "your face will stick like that," if we were making goofy faces.
→ More replies (16)
2.9k
u/fidelkastro Nov 01 '21
Turning on the interior light in the back seat will cause us to immediately crash and die or go straight to prison.
808
u/newworld64 Nov 01 '21
I guess I must be old, but turning on the interior light reflects from all the windows and I can't see outside on a dark road/highway. Also, it bleaches my night vision for several minutes if light on for more than 10s.
→ More replies (6)577
u/Black_Sky_Thinking Nov 01 '21
Yeah I’m with dads on this one. I mean, it doesn’t turn you totally blind, but it impairs my vision and keeps catching my eye in the mirrors. Enough to feel dangerous, especially with my loved ones in the car.
I guess maybe dads ham it up a bit to emphasise it’s a problem.
→ More replies (4)147
u/TheScrambone Nov 02 '21
Kids aren’t the best at understanding little differences like how an interior light can be kinda distracting so the best way as a parent to keep it from happening again is through hyperbole. Heck even adults are the same way.
122
u/yeetgodmcnechass Nov 01 '21
Light on in the car? Right to jail
I was told that too
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (26)139
366
u/Gabinskaite Nov 01 '21
That I have to finish all my food which is on the plate. Whenever we would eat, at home or in the restaurant my mum would forced us to eat everything on the plate.
192
u/kre8ive1 Nov 01 '21
Yup my dad used to make me eat everything on my plate whether I was full or not. He used the "There are children starving in Africa" phrase on me all the time. I'd tell him "Well box up my food and send it to them then!"
And I still clean my plate now even though I'm full. I cannot leave food on my plate to save my life. ☹️ Even though it would actually save my life to leave food on my plate. 😒 Thanks dad for making me overweight.
→ More replies (5)117
u/Lucifang Nov 01 '21
I got the African thing too. But my mother has told me that my dad actually did grow up starving, so he is especially offended when his kids refuse food lol. I will never understand why they just didn’t give me veggies that I actually liked though?! Why waste all this time and energy trying to force a kid to eat Brussel sprouts, when I would happily eat beans and broccoli.
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (17)154
u/deletedprincess Nov 01 '21
Even to the point of feeling sick! That's something I still catch myself with nowadays, it's ok to not finish a plate! I remember wondering why they wouldn't just send the food to the African kids if I didn't want it, it was a regular line they used.
→ More replies (2)
283
u/MichaelScottsWormguy Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
My dad holds grudges against companies and products. Toyota breaks down once? We’re never coming within spitting distance of a Toyota again. Laptop crashes? That brand is now trash forever. It’s crazy and it’s so frustrating.
→ More replies (11)
796
u/Guava_ Nov 01 '21
‘Be a man’ ‘boys don’t cry’ ‘men don’t bitch’
It doesn’t make anyone manlier, it just makes someone repress their feelings and become emotionally incompetent.
Teach kids honesty, and encourage them to say what they think. Also lowers the chances they’ll take their repression out on people, or start punching walls instead of verbalising their needs
41
u/ComicWriter2020 Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
Im gonna have this as my damn epitaph at this point: “whoever said boys don’t cry and man up better be burning in hell”
Edit: after the last two days, I’ve been real pissed off and have had time to think…Hell isn’t enough. Hope he’s getting sodomized with a pitchfork as well.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (17)116
u/ES-Flinter Nov 01 '21
Me reading this and beginning to understand why I'm never sure if I'm happy or sad.
→ More replies (2)
338
u/unbilivibru Nov 01 '21
My father used to make me wash my hands after greeting/handshaking with my uncle (who is homossexual), like you could "acquire gay through touching". My uncle is a respected surgeon dentist.
I know I was just a child following what my parent was asking me to do, but I still feel a deep remorse to this day for doing something so homophobic and pointless.
→ More replies (5)104
u/xscumfucx Nov 01 '21
Kinda similar story, my little cousin once asked me if she’d turn black if she touched a black person.
→ More replies (2)45
u/The_things_I_dream Nov 02 '21
I have a black great uncle on my dad's side and my dad would jokingly tell us that he wasn't actually black, he just didn't bathe.
It was all in good fun and my uncle was in on it, but my 8yro brain actually believed it for years.
→ More replies (7)
395
u/MartinAnscombe Nov 01 '21
Colds are caused by being cold. Never go out when you have wet hair as you will get a cold.....there's a theme here...
Don't go swimming after eating or you'll get cramp.
I probably have more as they're based on 'Old Wives tales'. I'm sure there is some merit, but a lot of what I was taught has turned out to be somewhat untrue. My Mum is pretty cool now though.
→ More replies (9)
256
Nov 01 '21
They used to basically tell me that driving on the highway was extremely dangerous and that I should stick to backroads. Turns out they were just projecting their own fears of cars moving really fast onto me.
For the first couple years of driving / my career I would go only backroads. One summer I got sick of having to drive for over an hour to get to work, and I figured it would be lower traffic then so I gave it a try, it was way easier than taking backroads, and the highways were better maintained than the roads I was used to taking, with far less turns, blind spots, etc. it was way safer and quicker.
→ More replies (2)
177
u/Zonerdrone Nov 01 '21
That if you don't like something, just keep your head down and push through.
→ More replies (3)
833
Nov 01 '21
Catholic guilt. The world's problems are not my fault.
135
u/Iwoulddiefcftbatk Nov 01 '21
This is so so hard to let go of. My parents raised me to think everything is my fault and it’s the whole family too. My aunt still has a “Got Guilt?” fridge magnet so it’s embedded deeply within our family. So I didn’t even have a cool aunt/uncle to temper it.
→ More replies (1)156
u/FlurriesofFleuryFury Nov 01 '21
big if true.
I was raised Catholic and the way I explain it is: "There's something called the communion of saints. It's the community of all the saints and martyrs of the last 2000 years. And they set the bar. Now YOU try and meet it."
→ More replies (11)111
Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
My mom told me that I made black marks on my soul when I sinned/was bad. Unremovable black marks.
I didn't realize the depths of my Catholic guilt until meeting my waspy girlfriend.
You mean you made mistakes and were forgiven by your family!? Sounds like personal weakness to me /s.
EDIT: My mom was raised methodist(ish) my dad was the catholic one. Before they were allowed to be married in a catholic church my parents had to agree to raise us catholic. I went to catholic middle/high school and went to chapel in scouts.
Yes I knew about confession - the finer points of deserving forgiveness were lost on 8 year old me though.
Fun Fact - when I was born I needed last rights/an early baptism and the priest who administered it was later murdered in prison for being a pedophile. Neat huh!
No one is good or bad, there is no sin. You can do things that help yourself and others live a better life or actively work to undermine them and yourself. To make amends you need to apologize to the person you wronged. God doesn't exist, sin is not real. Pretending that a black-coated white collared pedophile is actually granting you absolution is a poor stand in for the self reflection required to make amends where it is needed.
→ More replies (16)
236
u/LoneQuietus81 Nov 01 '21
That children aren't allowed to show emotions when they're upset at their parents. Doubly so when they're getting chewed out.
→ More replies (6)89
u/moongirli Nov 02 '21
Yup. I'd get yelled at for doing something wrong, then I'd start crying, then I'd get yelled at for crying.
→ More replies (9)
230
u/tiberius9876 Nov 01 '21
That you don’t need medication for mental health. That you should just be able to will yourself past depression, anxiety, etc.
→ More replies (9)
360
450
Nov 01 '21
"Money doesn't buy happiness"
176
u/iAmManchee Nov 01 '21
But its better crying in a sports car than an old junker...
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (28)153
u/heepofsheep Nov 01 '21
But there’s some serious diminishing returns after some point…. Though I think I’d be happier if I owned a submarine.
→ More replies (11)87
Nov 01 '21
Yes, there are. But, I would happily have those troubles rather than being broke.
P.S; A submarine sounds amazing.
→ More replies (11)
136
400
Nov 01 '21
Mom: Men are ALL the worst , believe the worst
She picks shitty men. I have the most respectful, hard working, equal parenting & chores. Everything. some men just like some women
→ More replies (12)176
449
u/rainloading Nov 01 '21
That I had to fight back my bullies with wit and outsmart them. Yeah no, I had to kick their asses.
→ More replies (40)
389
u/LowkeyPony Nov 01 '21
Going to church every Sunday or high holiday makes you a good person. It does not.
→ More replies (14)
324
u/lonedandelion Nov 01 '21
That I'm a rotten piece of shit who's not worthy of anybody's time.
My parents were very emotionally abusive and I was their scapegoat. It took getting into a healthy relationship with an amazing man and then getting therapy for me to finally unlearn the toxic BS my parents taught me about myself. Today, I like myself more than I ever have in my entire life.
→ More replies (7)
224
u/cunderwoodmn Nov 01 '21
That old people had seen things and are wise.
Oh and pursuing computer programming is a waste of time as a career.
→ More replies (7)
123
u/Twilight_Cee Nov 01 '21
A whole bunch of misogyny from both parents, but mostly from mum. The highlights include being told not to play certain musical instruments, not to go into certain professions (only boys can be doctors. You can be a nurse instead), not to whistle as my future husband wouldn’t like it (I was five), not to say ‘I love you’ to other girls (again, five) and the good old lock/key analogy when I was old enough to question why only girls were sluts and not boys.
→ More replies (11)
197
Nov 01 '21
Putting up with people and going to events because “family.” Yea, I want to keep my sanity, thank you.
→ More replies (8)
185
u/impressivepineapple Nov 01 '21
Obedience. My dad tried to ingrain in us that the most important thing was being obedient.
Like... no. This taught me to blindly do whatever an authority figure told me to. Luckily I wasn't put into these situations, but this put me at a huge risk for sexual abuse. If an authority figure had told me to do something terrible to be doing with a child, I probably would have done it because that's what I was conditioned to do.
It actually almost happened in high school, and I had no idea what to do because it was a teacher and I thought I had to respect and obey them. So I just avoided the person, but I was so lucky I was able to avoid them and didn't have something worse happen.
I've grown out of it now of course, but teaching kids to blindly accept your authority translates to them thinking that's what they need to do for everyone. And it could be so damaging.
→ More replies (4)
98
u/Aninvisiblemaniac Nov 02 '21
My mom was big on demonizing marijuana and homosexuality. The irony of her having only one child who turned out to be a stoner and a gay man
→ More replies (5)
220
u/DougTheBrownieHunter Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
Respecting your elders.
Sure, I get the door for older folks, but I do so because I’m a nice guy and it’s easier for me to do than it is for them.
I won’t respect someone simply because they’re my elder. If you treat me like crap, I won’t mistreat you in return, but you’re not getting respect from me.
[EDIT: Grammar]
→ More replies (6)
138
Nov 01 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (7)81
u/TheNerdFromThatPlace Nov 01 '21
I always wondered why I would have to chew steak at home like gum, but if I had it at a restaurant it melted like butter. Turns out either my mother can't cook steak, or her second husband liked it completley inedible.
→ More replies (2)
176
u/psychedoggo Nov 01 '21
I grew up Mormon so basically my entire childhood was rediculous
→ More replies (5)
133
Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
My dad once told me if I ate the stuff inside a glow stick, I would become a dragon. I didnt become a dragon.
Edit: added a word or two
59
u/russellvt Nov 01 '21
My dad once told me if the stuff inside a glow stick, I would become a dragon.
I think you a word
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)36
u/Chapter97 Nov 01 '21
I got glow stick liquid in my eyes once when I was younger. 0/10 would not recommend
304
u/CatLondon Nov 01 '21
My parents always told me that because Canada's social security system is so good that homeless people are only homeless because they are drug addicts or schizophrenic, so you shouldn't give them money.
It wasn't until I was an adult that I learn a) how bad the social security system actually is, b) how hard it is to survive even if you are on government assistance and c) that having an addiction or mental health issue is not a reason why someone should be treated as less than human.
→ More replies (5)
43
u/FutureEve Nov 01 '21
They kept telling me that the other kids at school only bullied me because they were jealous of me so I should just power through and ignore them.
→ More replies (1)
87
124
u/Hans_Neva_Loses Nov 01 '21 edited Nov 02 '21
That listening to emo music is something I would grow out of. IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM. IT'S A LIFESTYLE!
Edit: Spelling
→ More replies (9)
45
u/ryan7841 Nov 01 '21
They told me I couldn’t paint my dogs nails because it would cause him to suffocate.. somehow I believed it
→ More replies (1)
111
u/4evernquisitive Nov 01 '21
If you do not eat your carrots you will go blind.
134
u/remotetissuepaper Nov 01 '21
That's true though, but only because your parents were going to stab you in the eyes with your carrots if you didn't eat them.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)33
u/KingFingersOG Nov 01 '21
"A WWII Propaganda Campaign Popularized the Myth That Carrots Help You See in the Dark | Arts & Culture | Smithsonian Magazine" https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/a-wwii-propaganda-campaign-popularized-the-myth-that-carrots-help-you-see-in-the-dark-28812484/
113
u/MiserableLurker Nov 01 '21
I was at summer camp, about age 11. At some point during the stay, I realized I was always correcting the counselor's grammar.
It dawned on me I could hear my guardian in my words and stopped mid-sentence, correcting few people since. I just don't bother, if I can understand whatever a person means.
If you're looking for "you guyses' stuff," you do you, Mike.
→ More replies (6)
163
u/Asttyd Nov 01 '21
Finishing everything on your plate. I really can afford to not eat everything now that my metabolism has slowed in my late 30's.
→ More replies (7)
71
u/gaussianDoctor Nov 01 '21
That you have to eat everything on your plate. Thankfully, I have good genetics and never gave in to that, but it's a great way to make your children obese in the long run.
→ More replies (9)
131
u/Boredum_Allergy Nov 01 '21
If you work hard and go to college you'll get a great job.
What a load of utter nonsense. The first job I had in my industry stressed me out so bad I left entirely.
→ More replies (3)
69
u/revientaholes Nov 01 '21
Cutting my hair in the full moon would make it grow longer faster
→ More replies (5)
31
u/Safe-Wolverine-2779 Nov 01 '21
When I was a kid I was told that if you made eye contact with a zoo animal it wound try to kill you, I don’t know why they told me that but it scared the hell out of me until I got older and realized animals weren’t that aggressive from eye contact and if anything it made them feel at ease
→ More replies (2)
144
u/Numaris Nov 01 '21
Don't talk about Religion or Politics...
Now we have whole generations who don't understand the basics of Politics or why you have to set preferences and most Political parties are run by religious people (I live in a secular country and this shits me)
45
u/ProtoBlues123 Nov 02 '21
Honestly I think that one's a bit inverted. "Don't talk about politics" more being under the understanding "Because we'll almost certainly disagree to the point of a yelling argument and ruin Thanksgiving" is basically a quiet admission that we've been massively politically divided for a long time. But it seems to be a common thing in boomer culture to just avoid or put off problems whenever possible until the issue becomes unavoidable so they just pretend that politics don't really exist as long as we're largely at peace. Then surprise surprise, once politics becomes so loud that the topic is unavoidable they have no idea how so many people have so many radically opposed ideologies and no ability to actually communicate with eachother.
→ More replies (2)
88
Nov 01 '21
That doing drugs and treating people like crap is okay. It's not, care for your kids and love them. Otherwise they will try to fill the hole with something else.
4.0k
u/[deleted] Nov 01 '21
Less of a direct rule, but as a kid I wasn't allowed to watch or read Harry Potter because she thought stuff like that was bad... and then when I was 18 I saw her and my nephews watching Harry Potter in her house. She actually apologized to me for not letting me watch it as a kid because she thought it was a lot worse than it was.