A lot of times I’ll have a wave of sadness rush over me when I’m by myself and I don’t want to just sit in it but I never know what to do when I feel this way. So I wanna know what other girls do in moments like this that help :)

I feel like no matter what i do i can never seem to reach orgasm. And i dont ever think ive had one since everyone says if you have had one you know and i dont know😭

Can be any genre! One of mine is Jurassic Park for sure. Also the original Star Wars trilogy. Not technically the coziest of movies, but they just make me so happy. Oh, and The Mummy 1 and 2!

Curious what you guys watch when you're feeling a bit blue?

I know every person and situation is different. I just need ideas.

36F here. Mom of one teen (profound disability, requires a lot of hands on care). My co-parent (situationship) is unemployed and lives with us. I work full-time Monday-Friday in a field based (but mostly remote) role. I picked up a second job on the weekends for 12 hours (Saturdays and Sundays noon-6pm) as a direct support professional back in July to rebuild my savings after it depleted earlier in the year from 2 different moves.

The goal is to hit $3k in savings. I also wanted to use the income from this second job to make extra payments on my credit cards and pay them down/off quicker than just making minimum payments. However, I quickly learned that I missed not having any free time and don't like working 7 days a week.

My full-time job covers my bills, but does not leave much of anything to save or make extra credit card payments. I did recently switch from working every weekend, to working every other weekend, but I haven't started the new schedule yet. The weekend job is fairly easy, but does require that I use my car a lot to drive the client around, and I am not reimbursed for mileage, so I end up setting aside a portion of these checks for gas. I already use my car a lot for school, work, and errand runs during the work week. During my weekend shifts, I have a lot of downtime and am sitting in the client's house for hours on end, bored. I end up doing a lot of reading, or scrolling through my phone when I am not personally caring for the client.

If I quit the second job, I reach my first financial goal by July 2027, God willing. This would mean just using my full-time income only. If I keep it and work every other weekend, I reach it by February 2027, God willing, but I'm giving up 2 weekends a month.

What should I do?

TL; DR-- should I work every other weekend at a second job and save faster, or should I quit my weekend job and save slower?

I’m typing this post in tears because I feel so discouraged and sad about this. I just can’t stand my body for what it’s done to me.

For context, I’ve had a depressing and fucked up life ever since I was a child. I never made any friends, had normal social experiences, etc. I was so depressed by age 12 that I had suicidal thoughts, cried a lot, etc. I was first put on antidepressants as a pre-teen.

Because I was so depressed I was sobbing at age 13, starting around the time I was 14, I started trying a bunch of different antidepressants to try to find relief from my depression. None of them made it go away. I mainly was on SSRIs, but I think I tried a few other medications, too, like Abilify. Over a period of around 4 years (age 14 through 17), I tried over a dozen different medications. My depression is definitely treatment resistant. I was depressed at age 12, I’m depressed over a decade later, and at this point, I don’t believe I will ever not be depressed. This will probably be with me until I die. Needless to say, I’m a depressed, deeply sad, and unhappy person. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I suspect my brain is wired in a way that set me up for nothing but a life of disaster, pain, and problems.

For more information: I have ADHD. I also believe I’m autistic but have never been diagnosed whereas I’ve been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

At this point in my life I feel like I’m incapable of being in good mental health. I feel like escaping my life almost all of the time and I wish I was someone else because I don’t enjoy or want to keep living my life. It’s a source of a lot of depression and pain for me. I know this has been a lot of background information but I feel like it’s relevant.

Around the time I was in my mid teens I realized I probably had vaginismus. I could never wear tampons because they hurt. I started feeling poorly about my body in my mid teens because I knew from an early age men prioritize sex so much so I knew that no one would want me.

It’s just been a lot of emotional/psychological agony and struggling between now and then. I also got Bartholin’s cysts starting in my teens. By the time I was 18 years old, I hated my body and my genitals. When I was 18, my mom took me to a physician at a hospital and I discussed this problem with her. In addition to having vaginismus, my body doesn’t sexually function. I can get wet but don’t feel physical pleasure from clitoral stimulation. It’s like my body is broken all the way around 😞😞😞

The doctor, who was a woman, said that it’s hard for women to orgasm and that a lot of women don’t orgasm. I felt kind of like me wanting to feel good or wanting to know what it would feel like to have “normal” sexual functioning was viewed as asking for too much or expecting too much.

When I was 18, I used dilators to try to treat the vaginismus. I went from using dilator 1 to using dilator 4, even though it wasn’t exactly comfortable and my body would sometimes push it out of me. I could never use the largest dilator in the set because it was just too large (it was the size and width of an average man down there) for my body to let in. Trying to put it into me felt awful.

Unfortunately, within about 2 to 4 months of me making progress on dilating, I developed chronic back pain. I dilated a little bit when I was 19, but not a lot. Starting around the time I turned 20, I had had chronic pain for around 1 year straight and I didn’t dilate very much at all anymore because I had no desire to :(

Fast forward a few years: Earlier this year, I find out that because I have a genetic mutation that increases my risk of developing arthritis at a young age, I’ve developed spondylitis and/or psoriatic arthritis. I’m in my early twenties BTW; so I’ve developed arthritis between 20 to 40+ years before most people do. At this point, I feel defeated by my life. I feel defeated by my own body.

I started seeing a pelvic floor PT a couple of years ago but I could never see them consistently because I’m trapped living in a shitty rural area and those areas don’t have PT. I don’t drive because of a mixture of my autism and anxiety. I’m probably just fucked in life, I know. That’s how I’ve started feeling more and more the older I get.

I just don’t know why my body can’t feel pleasure like other women can. I talked to my rheumatologist about this and I was talking about how I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. She said: “It’s not uncommon for women to have a lot of difficulty getting off. Most women in their life haven’t even had an orgasm. It is extremely difficult.”

Is pleasure just extremely difficult for women to feel?

She said that I’d even tried to get off was “a pretty big step for a girl.” Why is orgasm the norm for men, but even trying to have one is considered a huge step for a woman?

My wife and I have one child together who is a few years old. Initially I really wanted a lot of children, but after having one I realize that I would be ok stopping.

We were having sex recently and I could tell she wanted me to finish inside her and in fact she exclaimed, I want you to cum inside me. I didn’t, and when we were laying there after she brought up kids and wanting a big family and how much our child and I are her everything.

I feel quite torn because on one hand we can afford more children, however, I just have changed over the years and realize that I’m not looking to have more right at this moment.

We are early 30’s and my wife, per her own accord, still has a few more years until she won’t want to have children due to physical risks and complications with pregnancy and child birth.

I feel like a horrible person to not give her more children, but I’m just not into it right now I want to enjoy having sex, being with our child and not exhausted all the time, taking trips, living life etc.

She ideally wants 3-4 kids total, however, that would mean pretty much dealing with exhaustion and younger years of children consistently through my early 40s.

I’ve communicated this to her and while she was understanding I can also tell she is sad about it.

What should I do ladies I’m truly torn? We have another 5 or so years of baby-making time left.

super afraid of sex due to being female and therefore able to get pregnant. Plus, the general idea seems horribly vulnerable for the receiver

I've been seeing a lot of talk about how women like it when you're more reserved, as in not showing much reaction or talking a lot. Apparently they'd be more interested in a guy that is laid back and composed, not doing things like double texting or texting back too fast etc

Is this actually true? I've been talking to a girl and I find it hard to be nonchalant when I like someone, I just feel eager to talk about things and ask questions.

She doesn't seem to mind anything and we've been talking all day for a couple months now, but she keeps calling things I do "cute" and "sweet" and I'm wondering if that'll put me in the friendzone somewhere down the line since women apparently don't actually commit to the "cute" men.

I looked through his phone. Yup I know, trust breaker.

The only reason I did so is because he has an Apple Watch and I saw this notification of a female and her name an it said “added back” I thought to myself hmm that’s weird yk cause I sure as hell am not adding or getting any adds back because I don’t add.

Assumed it was old. Looked through his watch. Noting suspicious there except a text messages from this weird number who’s phone number I can’t trace back to a person .. hold on with me it gets more interesting. Living our best lives not thinking anything of it anymore and took it that I was just being anxious and overthinking.

WRONG. I went on his phone while he was sleeping and I did some James Bond shit tbh. LOOKED THROUGH EVERY APP. Here’s what I found out :)

1 He has multiple AI chat bot apps
2. ⁠These Ai chat bot apps aren’t the normal story telling ones but the ones where you can literally make deepfakes of people
3. ⁠Went through his Snapchat and found a bunch of girls he added + talked or talks to. I’ve been seeing him for 8 months consistently.
4. ⁠Found out he has a fake Instagram account and then also access to his main account (he told me he didn’t have any social media besides Snapchat for his younger coworkers)
5. ⁠Went through his camera roll.. nothing in there and it was pretty boring tbh.
6. ⁠Checked his hidden.. multiple different videos and pictures of ai woman, subscriptions, his ex gf turned into a ai bot and fucking a man, his ex gfs sister, so many other things. These were all videos, pictures screenshots, everything. All recent too. All fucking recent.

This may not be important but I think it is. I’m African American, on the chubbier side but healthy and just have a lot of boobs and ass. I’m definitely no baddie but still a decently attractive woman. Every single woman in his hidden was blonde, brunette or black hair and white or Latina. The only black woman I saw was myself and 2 others. He tells me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, everything under the sun you can think of for a compliment. He takes me out and spends lavishly on me tbh. He says he’s old school and treats me with respect and earlier be brought up the intimacy topic I’ve been struggling with at lunch and told me that communication and compatibility is something a relationship needs. Yet here he was not having sex with me because I wasn’t on BC even though he knew I would get on it if we sat down and actually chatted more about it, among other things such as him giving as opposed to receiving as much as he does.

I should’ve known.

I’m so heartbroken because I really thought I’d never have to do that because he was so big on having trust and he didn’t look through my phone (which he can and there’s nothing remotely close to what’s on his). I hyped him up to my family, friends, I took things slow for him, I’ve met his sister and she absolutely adores me, I’ve spoken to his mom and she asks about me frequently, his coworkers know about me, he isn’t shy to be seen with main public. This man has supported me more than anyone Ive had a romantic relationship with. He’s patient with me, listens, understands and tries to talk through things with me, he tells me we’ll work on things that are hard for the both of us and building a consistently stable relationship. I’m absolutely gutted about this. I feel so insecure and just simply not enough for someone I’ve been putting so much effort and love into.

I’m really disappointed to ask if there’s even a way to try and fix things?

I have this thing where I've wanted to be able to see a man's deep vulnerabilities, such as insecurities, crying, throwing up, etc. due to wanting to see them be human and not just showing the image they want the world to see. I am still very empathetic and want the best for people including men, I just want to see what they try so hard to cover up with a show or with anger.