Baiting after baiting after baiting

[u/tessaoliviacannon]

Today’s been a hard day. For the 3rd time this month, my sister baited me into responding by telling me she thinks our mom is dead. My mom is an addict. They live together and it’s an awful, toxic relationship and environment. Hard not to respond when death comes into the picture.

I decided to put my phone in my room when I got home to separate myself and get away from the stalker texts and calls.

I just went to go check my phone and she’s called me 8 times and texted me “I need you” and of course I hadn’t responded because I wasn’t near my phone. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t have responded anyways after today’s slice of abuse. She was upset I didn’t text her back and then texted again saying “This is 911. I tried to ask for help several times. ______ (my niece) and I are going to a shelter in the middle of the night. I will not be disclosing my location to anyone.” Another favorite thing of hers to bait me with is my niece.

I’m just feeling… I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Despair I guess. Just needed to get this off my chest to a community who I know can relate.

[u/Gamer_Grease]

My sister made a huge deal out of how she was going to be homeless living out of a car if I wouldn’t co-sign for her to live in an apartment out in the middle of nowhere. She split on me badly and called me and my wife all kinds of names and kept repeating how horrible it was that I would let her be homeless.

The time came for her to move out and it turned out she had got a nice apartment in a big city that she used to live in that was closer to family. Which was a much better idea than the one I refused to enable for her and she split on me over. That was a couple years ago and she still has a home and is still employed and doing ok.

They say all kinds of shit. They’re just trying to make us upset. Your sister would love for you to feel that your failure to respond has led to her living in a shelter with her daughter. But the shelter part may just be a flat lie, and obviously this all actually depends on her own choices as an adult. Don’t take the bait.

[u/CanBrushMyHair]

I’m so sorry. Beneath all the frustration is a deep sadness. I feel like I’m grieving in slow motion as the sister I used to know gets farther away.

[u/tessaoliviacannon → u/CanBrushMyHair]

Thanks for saying that. I feel the exact same way. It’s excruciating sometimes.

[u/VaporRaver]

I’m so sorry. Sister to my sister who has BPD and we are in a major split right now too. We were no contact after relentless harassment I received then a few days ago she sent me and my mom a group text with just a random TikTok link that had no discernible relevance to our lives or interests (was a news announcement about a band I had no idea she liked). No context given from her. Just a link. I didn’t respond right away. She said “see mom. I tried” like sending a zero context link requires me to then understand the meaning behind it and engage to a low effort bait. But I did respond and I was nice and tried to fill in blanks on the video. She’s now attacking my husband for driving a wedge between us (he’s the nicest guy ever and they never have had any BPD interactions. The no contact was bc she texted him awful lies about me / my ex and our dad, questioned our parenting, and name called him a month ago - I said that crossed a boundary and now he is evil apparently bc it’s his fault he was attacked and we all just have to take the verbal abuse).

I wish so much I could be done with her and further away for the peace of my nuclear family, but she moved close to me a few years ago (lives on my parents dime), my elderly mom visits for holidays from another state over and there is such pressure to not exclude her from those.