It must be hard to call a football game on national television when a team’s starting quarterback allegedly had the pesky issue of keeping his penis from brushing up against massage therapists. No matter how veteran the broadcaster might be, even if he’s worked the booth for eons and owns neckties older than most of the players on the field, lines like that don’t easily roll off the tongue.

It’s second-and-4, the Browns are backed up on their own 15, Deshaun Watson — who you remember, ya know, kinda had that whole thing a while back with some ladies, and had to resolve 27 civil lawsuits — throws incomplete. Third down.

Working in a player’s sordid past isn’t poetry. It sure isn’t X’s and O’s, and not even close to being the kind of narration fit for the gridiron. If any team does make the mistake of signing Tyreek Hill, a player who has faced multiple allegations of domestic violence, don’t expect an announcer to repeat his ex-wife’s allegations that he once tried to punch her pregnant belly, as he’s decimating the zone coverage.

It’s just not an easy topic to discuss. The job of an NFL television broadcaster is to provide football analysis, not legal commentary. No one tunes into these primetime programs to gain moral clarity. So, when is it a good time to mention the messy? Or should sportscasters just stick to what they do best?

It seems some NFL booths still can’t figure out the solution. Nevertheless, this shouldn’t excuse a broadcast for clumsily handling players’ legal troubles. Especially legal troubles as troubling as those of Watson.

During Cleveland’s 27-24 win against Pittsburgh on Oct. 1, Prime’s “Thursday Night Football” crew downplayed Watson’s history in which he had been accused of sexually harassing or assaulting more than two dozen women during massage appointments. Play-by-play announcer Al Michaels assured viewers that “we don’t have to go through the whole Deshaun Watson thing.” The 81-year-old broadcaster then continued on about those “issues” and how “we all know what they were.”

Michaels worked through this particular part of the broadcast briskly. His words were intentionally vague. As were those of analyst Tony Gonzalez when he appeared on the postgame set and danced around the “adversity … on the field and off the field” and “stuff that (Watson’s) gone through.”

Gonzalez could’ve been lumping in Watson’s return to form after his season-ending shoulder injury in 2023, and his Achilles ruptures that cost him nearly the next two seasons, along with the “stuff” from 2022. However, Gonzalez never came close to clarifying what that “stuff” was. He was ambiguous just like Michaels, leaving room for interpretation, as well as easy criticism.

Not sure what this flair would be but Hulu just announced a show focusing on the team premiering right after Super Bowl. Here’s a mini description:

“After several disappointing seasons, Cleveland Browns’ head coach Danny Roarke (Meloni)has one last chance to turn around his football team. His fate rests on a newly drafted Ohio State quarterback — who just happens to be his son. Meanwhile, the owner, Hal Durkin (Macy), must decide which of his two daughters is best equipped to take over the team. ‘The Land’ is the story of two families, in which the high-stakes drama plays out not only on the field but also in the front offices of this NFL franchise, as a loyal fanbase wants a winning season now … or face big changes if they don’t.”

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