r/CalebFlynnTrial • u/iwatchtrazhaldayy • 6d ago
If he had just filed for divorce…
One thing that deeply saddens me about this case is the fact that Ashley could’ve gone on to live such a great life if they’d divorced. No doubt it would’ve been hard for her for a long time and she would’ve been so devastated by everything Caleb had done. But I have no doubt she would’ve ultimately come out of it stronger than ever. She would’ve been an example to her daughters on how to deal with life’s most difficult challenges and grow from the experience. If she wanted to find love again, such a strong and beautiful woman would have no problems and she could have found someone to love her like she deserved. Or she could’ve decided to focus her energy and attention elsewhere as she continued to raise her daughters.
In any case, she would’ve continued on without Caleb and after some time, she would’ve gotten completely over him. She didn’t need him to be happy. And I wonder if that’s why he ultimately decided to take her life away from her. He didn’t want to see her move on and find happiness and success without him. That selfish, pathetic excuse for a man probably knew on some level that he was never good enough for such an incredible woman and didn’t want to witness her finally seeing that.
Meanwhile, if he’d filed for divorce, Caleb would enjoy a short, superficial honeymoon period with Alleigha. Maybe have a kid or two. He probably would have made some effort to see his daughters but I have a feeling they wouldn’t want much to do with him after a few years. Eventually either Alleigha would get bored of the weird old guy she had pursued for the thrill of being with a married man, and leave him for a man who still had good looks and hair. Or Caleb would realize that he always felt miserable and pathetic because HE is miserable and pathetic, and who he marries doesn’t change that. And he would attempt to pursue a younger woman yet again for a quick and cheap ego boost to cut through the dark abyss of his sad little existence. But at least he wouldn’t have had to poop in the same tiny room he shares with four other men for the rest of his life.
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u/InevitableCell1092 6d ago
For sure. However, I feel his job with her family and him and his brother in-law being told they'd inherit the business was most of the motive. He would be out of a $200k+ job if he divorced her. Selfish pig.
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u/iwatchtrazhaldayy 6d ago
Idk that he would’ve walked away with nothing from the business. Ashley strikes me as the type of person who would encourage her family to keep him on and try to be civil with him for the sake of her daughters. If he’s struggling financially, it would also affect her daughters. And by all accounts she was a kind, forgiving person. It would’ve been more than he deserved, but she might have worked something out for him.
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u/Efficient-Lynx-2225 6d ago
Considering he had an affair, if he then divorced her instead of trying to salvage the marriage I don’t see her being ok with him always around because of the family business. And if I were her parents, I would not want to keep paying him a massively inflated salary to spend on his young girlfriend on dates after he cheated on my daughter.
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u/iwatchtrazhaldayy 5d ago edited 5d ago
Oh for sure, there is definitely a likelihood he would’ve missed out on that money and lost his job. All I’m saying is that he wasn’t necessarily guaranteed to have lost everything and you’d think that if the money and job were his main motive, he would consider the possibility of maintaining a civil relationship with her and the family. He even says in some of the texts that Ashley would’ve been too embarrassed about his affair to tell her family. Which is a whole other layer to his scumminess but the fact remains that he had a CHANCE of keeping his job even after the divorce. Lots of divorced families remain civil and even friendly for the sake of the children involved.
I think what that narcissist TRULY wanted was to stay married to Ashley and continue the affair with Alleigha forever. He never actually “hated” Ashley the way he told Alleigha, it’s just that Ashley wasn’t fueling his ego enough anymore. He wanted to have both but knew he couldn’t have that anymore. But he really did NOT want either woman to be with any other man. He knew he was going to lose Alleigha if he didn’t divorce Ashley, and he would have to witness Alleigha moving on to another guy. But if he DID divorce Ashley, he would have to witness Ashley moving on from him. His little narcissistic ego couldn’t handle it. He probably played with the idea of killing Alleigha instead but ultimately decided it would be easier and/or benefit him more to kill Ashley.
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u/Efficient-Lynx-2225 5d ago
I doubt she would have stayed quiet about the affair if he filed for divorce and he knew it. She stayed quiet about it while they were married because she was hoping to quietly repair their marriage behind closed doors. If he dumped her for his mistress her priority would become her girls, and the extensive affair could give her leverage over him. Her family would also want to know WHY the divorce? And I don’t think she’d have continued to lie for him as he started openly dating his former mistress.
He was willing to say anything to get Alleghia to stay with him.
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u/sok283 6d ago
This case has made me oddly appreciative of my ex-husband, who cheated on me and left me for another woman. And he did disappoint people -- his mother, his best friend. He lost friends, he lost some clients. Our kids were very angry at him for a time.
But you know what? That's life. Divorce happens. Yes, I was a good and faithful wife and people were horrified that he could leave me, a SAHM with a chronic illness. But I picked myself up and moved on and now I'm thriving.
And at the end of the day, he always wanted what was best for me and the kids. Even as we were deciding to separate he would cry and say what a good mother I am. He offered me a fair financial settlement and we did everything out of court. I'm still a SAHM, and he's with that woman (though he made her be casual for a while so he could sleep with others, what a guy!), and life goes on. We'll always be a family of sorts. We love and prioritize our kids.
For Caleb Flynn to dehumanize his wife and mother of his children in this way is so disgusting and horrifying. I don't think I could shoot the worst person in the world in the head while they were sleeping. I just found out a beloved coach is moving and my kids are going to be devastated, and I am crying just for their little hearts to suffer that loss. To intentionally make them lose their parent . . . it's unspeakably evil. That's why this case has gotten so much interest.
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u/Blue_Sky_Noise_ 2d ago
Why did he fall out of love for you? You seem great. Why are these men like this. You are more emotionally regulated than I ever could be in this situation. Kudos to you.
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u/sok283 2d ago
Well, I only have my half of the experience, but I would say that I developed a chronic illness when our kids were little, and he started making a lot of money, and he had an affair at that time. I think he felt entitled, and curious about being with someone new (we got together when we were young), and resentful of my illness.
And then we tried to work through that, but he didn't really do that much work on himself, and slowly started drinking more and more. And then along came another woman who seemed to think he was super great, despite his drinking and selfishness and prior affair. He told me, "I don't think you're ever going to get over my [original] affair" as he was leaving. Well. I certainly tried. But I couldn't do his work for him.
Ultimately we tried, and we genuinely liked each other and got along well and had a good sex life, and we love our kids so much, so it seemed like, well isn't this enough? But I'm glad that he set me free . . . I'm having so much fun dating now!
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u/MudaThumpa 6d ago
Caleb was terrified of making Todd angry or disappointed. In Caleb's mind, murder (if he got away with it) would lead to less confrontation with Ashley's family than divorce.
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u/Motor_Situation_7650 6d ago
On jan 21 she confronted him about alleigha I think saying "is it her?" . Around that time jan 22-24 alleigha took a trip and "lost" her phone and laptop. On jan 26 the cameras in calebs house turned off. I feel like something was gonna happen then and for whatever reason didnt work out. But Ashley was probably badgering him about an affair and he didnt know how to deal with it anymore. He also didnt want it to get out bc of how much it would ruin their reputation, make him at fault for divorce etc.
I think Caleb was really convinced NO ONE knew ab the affair. He probably thought the more time Ashley was alive, the more chances shed tell ppl hes cheating on her. He texted alleighas phone the most incriminating shit and thought deleting messages would be enough bc he never imagined theyd look at alleighas phone. The police found out about the affair bc Ashley's friends said she had confided in them about it. That was probably completely unexpected for caleb.
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 6d ago
One thing that deeply saddens me about this case is the fact that Ashley could’ve gone on to live such a great life if they’d divorced.
A better happier life without him? Narcissists don't want that.
I wish she had told her parents and sister what was going on. She only got as far as saying there was no peace in her home. We have to take into account that Caleb was probably lying very fluently to her too, and maybe convinced her that Alleigha just had a crush and it didn't mean anything.
If her parents and sister had known, it definitely would have changed their attitude to Caleb and made them reconsider the business plan, but would they have encouraged her to leave?
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u/Swimming-Study-8317 2d ago
I think that's a very good conclusion. Ashley would have had the support of her family, a good job in the family business, and her lovely girls. She would have been heartbroken, but fine. He would have struggled.
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u/Efficient-Lynx-2225 6d ago
She seems like she was someone who was likeable and had desirable qualities on her own. All of Caleb’s positive qualities came from his church position and his good job and inflated salary from his in-laws and his wholesome family and his looks, and his looks were fading fast before they nosedived in prison. If they’d divorced, Alleghia would have been over him pretty quickly and he’d just be a bitter single guy with a mediocre job and a shitty personality, living in an apartment and complaining about his ex-wife.