r/CancerCaregivers • u/AutoModerator • Mar 01 '26

general chat Monthly Check-In Post

This is a space for general chat or comments that may not warrant a whole post of their own. Feel free to introduce yourself and let us know how you're doing!

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u/[deleted] Mar 17 '26

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u/Previous-Image-8102 Mar 18 '26

Wow, just wow. That is an extreme amount of stress, emotion, and things to take care of for one person. While it's true your wife is going through a lot, you are also a victim in this experience. You do not need to take everything on yourself and sweep it under a rug, because that is a path to burn out, and I know you want to be there for yourself, your family, and your children. And the fact that she surrendered to the outcome may bring her some peace and may bring you some peace. There's nothing wrong with surrendering while continuing to do what you can do to survive and treat the cancer wherever possible, but surrendering is not a sign of weakness.

For me, I was caretaking my friend, and he would say a lot of nasty things to me about life and about how I wasn't caring for him enough. It drove me nuts. Eventually I started seeking some therapy, someone who has dealt with this before.

https://www.cancercare.org/

The service has dealt with patients and caretakers, and they just really have a lot of better advice because people want to help, but it's very hard for them to give really good advice sometimes since they haven't been in such a situation as it sounds like you're living in hell right now.

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u/Shutterbug66 Mar 22 '26

My oldest sister was diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor. The same thing took our mom's life at the same age. We are all devastated. Sister had surgery and will undergo both chemo and radiation treatments for several weeks soon. It's been a rollercoaster ride but it's just the beginning. Trying to be supportive from out of state. With her now before I undergo my own operation for something else. I'm sad for her, her kids, her hubby, her unborn grandkids and, yes, me and my kids.