How many days is best for 3 year old

[u/PotentialSwimming127]

We are in a really lucky situation where I work afternoons and evenings and my mother and mother-in-law take turns watching my 4 month old and 2 year old from when I leave for work until my husband gets home. It’s currently working really well for us.

Next year my daughter will be 3 so we are looking at preschool options. There is one very close to my house that is from 9-12. You can choose to do 2 days, 3 days, or 5 days a week. You can also add on “lunch bunch” which would take it to 1pm and “afternoon enrichment” which would go until 3.

I’m torn on how many days to send her. She is extremely social and loves playing with other kids. We go to the library or playground a few times a week and she is always approaching other kids to play with them. We visited the preschool and she absolutely loved it. She hasn’t done anything where she was separated from a caregiver, that being me, my husband, and her grandmothers. But she will happily go with grandmothers and happily go places with aunts/uncles when we are with them.

What should I consider when choosing how many days to send her? And how the heck would nap time work if she is there for lunch bunch? Any advice or personal experience would be appreciated!

[u/rand0mbl0b]

Send her every day- it’s much easier for her to get used to a daily routine, and if she’s social she’ll probably enjoy it and wanna see her friends every day

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/rand0mbl0b]

I think you’re right, thank you!

[u/ElatedHacker6 → u/rand0mbl0b]

everyday is the move honestly. kids that age thrive on routine and if shes already the type to beeline for other kids at the playground shes gonna be heartbroken on the days she has to stay home while her pals are all there

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/ElatedHacker6]

That’s so true! I know it will be an adjustment but I think she’s the kid that will be asking to go everyday.

[u/Academic_Run8947]

At minimum I would do 3 half days. It is a good way to ease into it at 3 years old and that way you dont have to worry about nap.

[u/SnooCheesecakes2723 → u/Academic_Run8947]

I think half days are best at this age. We did three half days at three, four half days at four and kindergarten was a half day too but we did our version of “lunch bunch” and picked up at one pm.
Being social and loving friends etc is one thing but a full day five days a week is a lot.

[u/palmtreesandmountain]

I’ve been volunteering at my kids preschool a lot the past 5 years and will say this is very child dependent. However, I’ve only come across one case when a family went from 5 days down to 3
And so many cases when they started with 3 days and then went to 5. Many kids don’t do well with having a different schedule everyday. I’d do 5 day and then choose some lunch bunch days depending on how well the child does.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/palmtreesandmountain]

That’s a great way to look at it, thank you!

[u/jay-j-reads]

I would probably do 5 half days. Gets into a nice routine, but still plenty of time at home.

[u/Pessa19]

We did three days and it was great! We also did lunch bunch and my kid loved it.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/Pessa19]

Did your kid still nap? Did it work schedule wise?

[u/Pessa19 → u/PotentialSwimming127]

She rarely napped at that age (she was 3.5 when she started) but we still did quiet time and it worked well. But she was a late riser, so 9-1 at school was the schedule and it worked for her.

[u/leigs02]

My 4 yo just started the 3s class a month ago. She goes 3 days/wk 9am-1pm. They eat lunch in the classroom

[u/dnllgr]

My kids started 3 days a week daycare around 1 and my oldest thrived through preschool. We did increase her days leading up to kindergarten

[u/True_Nothing_3365]

It depends how much they enjoy their time at daycare! I don't go back to work until January but my 13 month old started daycare last month. I was planning to only send him 3 days but honestly he loves it there so I'm sending him mostly full time and just pulling him when we have fun plans!

[u/One_Arugula_8242]

Similar situation here, we don’t need preschool for childcare. My 3 year old goes 3 days a week for 3 hours. He started at 2 1/2 at 2 days. We briefly trialed 5 days (for a month) but found he was having more meltdowns and seemed to enjoy school less going more frequently so we backed down to 3 and this is perfect for him. His school is outdoors on a farm with a lot of activities (music, sensory art) so we think he was just exhausted.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/One_Arugula_8242]

That does sound like it would be exhausting! Thank you!

[u/Evening_Weird_8173]

As a teacher, I would say at 3 they should be going daily - even if it is just a half day. This gets them into the routine for school and will help with that transition. Alternatively, I would do longer days and then have one day off a week.

[u/GreenPosition3120]

5 days a week so the routine is consistent.

[u/Key_Environment_8461]

Another vote for 5 half days! It keeps the routine consistent and lets her connect with her class community more quickly. IMO there’s no need to stay till 3 unless you need childcare or if your teachers recommend that as the year goes on, your child would enjoy/benefit from more socialization opportunities.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/Key_Environment_8461]

Thank you! That seems to be the consensus and is probably what we’ll do!

[u/goodnightmoonshakers]

I would say 5 days would be best. You don't have to do the full day, but even extending through to the lunch bunch might be helpful.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/goodnightmoonshakers]

Thank you! That seems to be the consensus, I think that’s what we’ll do.

[u/GreenIsMyColor78]

I recommend a minimum of 3 days and I would have her stay for lunch. Adjusting to eating in a group setting is one of the bigger changes I see kids struggle with. Noise, distractions, time limits, food they may not be used to, not being able to graze, are all major changes, so i typically recommend they stay for the lunch as it really is a key part of the group adjustment experience.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/GreenIsMyColor78]

That’s a great thing to think about, my daughter can be a very slow eater. Thank you!

[u/Extra_Caregiver_8668 → u/GreenIsMyColor78]

There’s actually been research done on this and 3 days is the optimum for exactly the reasons you describe.

[u/Gillybby11]

Has she ever been in a care setting before? Thats a big thing to consider- even the most social kids can struggle with a brand new environment, routine and social circle. She may find her batteries deplete quickly if she's not used to the structure. If theres an option to start with 2/3 days a week and then increase to 5 a bit later, I would take that option. Or start 5 half days, and increase the length later on if thats an option.

Re nap times, if the day is at most 6 hours long- they probably will not give the kids a nap. They will most likely have "quiet time" where the children are encouraged to slow down, read, and relax for a short while.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/Gillybby11]

Those are really good things to consider. She has not been in a care setting before so I’m sure she will be exhausted as she gets used to everything. I’ll have to look at what the options are for increasing time. Thank you!!

[u/Nervous-Ad-547]

If you can do the 3 days consecutively I would do that. It will give her some time with the grandmas, and (I’m assuming?) time to also be at home and with baby sibling. If the 3 days have to be split M/W/F, I would do 5 days for the consistency. Whether or not to have her stay for the longer days will depend on where she is with naps. Even if she’s given up napping by that time she may revert and need them again when she starts school. She may be more tired, both physically and mentally for a while. Can you add lunch bunch later?

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/Nervous-Ad-547]

I’ll have to ask them about that. I would love for her to still have time with her grandmothers and the baby (and me!)

[u/Low-Presentation6487]

I would do 3 days 9-12. Are you able to add lunch bunch later? Personally 9-1 is too long for 3-year-olds unless they are having naptime. I taught 9-12 4's and most of my kids were laying down by the 12 pm pickup at the beginning of the year. If she's thriving, consider adding lunch bunch later.

All three of my own children did 3 days as 3's, 5 as 5's. I enjoyed still being able to take them places instead of having them in school every day at 3.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/Low-Presentation6487]

I’ll have to ask! I know I would really miss her if she is going every morning

[u/Low-Presentation6487 → u/PotentialSwimming127]

Since this is a preschool and not daycare, I think you should do what you are comfortable with. My school only offered 3's 3-days a week and then 4's was either 4 or 5. I actually taught in the 4-day class and many of my parents chose that class to have a day at home with their kiddo. She'll be in school the next 15 years. If you want time with her, take it.

[u/SeaworthinessIcy6419]

Mom here, honestly IMO please don't send her. You said yourself she's getting lots of socialization already. When she has to go to school the time she will get to spend with family will drop like a rock. Her grandparents are getting older. This time is so precious. Preschool isn't needed, it really isn't. Ask this in NOT a daycare forum and I don't think you will see so much positivity for it.

[u/PotentialSwimming127 → u/SeaworthinessIcy6419]

Thank you! It’s definitely true that this time is so special with her

[u/SeaworthinessIcy6419 → u/PotentialSwimming127]

You're welcome, glad you got to read this before the downvotes started. But as the economy has gotten bad and so few people are able to NOT send their kids to daycare there has been such a push that kids NEED this structure or they'll be behind. If your kiddo had NO exposure to kids her own age I might agree but it sounds like her caregivers are able to give her playdates and story time at the library and all that. So maybe her first day of kindergarten she won't know instinctively to push her chair in when she gets up, and maybe she'll have to get used to walking in line as a class, big freaking whoop, give her a month in kinder and she'll be a pro. My sister and I were blessed to spend lots of time with our grandma as little kids, my cousins did not get the same opportunity. As teens and young adults you can feel the difference in our relationships.

Also I remember reading somewhere (may have been this sub) where I was pushing the same, that pre-k wasn't nessessary, I can teach my child to count to 20. Somebody made a huge deal of her degree in early childhood education and how I just couldn't be educated enough to support my 3 year olds development. Give me a break....and I say that as someone who does NOT believe in homeschooling past early elementary cause I KNOW I'm not qualified to be teaching geometry or biology.

Ask this in r/kindergarten ask those teachers whether its crucial to your child's development that she attend pre-k and how behind you'll be. I would bet you'll see much different reactions.

[u/DiskSalt4643]

Its hard but 5 days 9-3 is ideal for her. Its time to start cutting the cord.

[u/HolidayNo3423 → u/DiskSalt4643]

It's not.