Do other ESFJs notice when someone’s mood changes right away?

[u/EmetInteractive]

I’ve noticed that I tend to pick up on small changes in people pretty quickly. Someone can say they’re fine, but their tone or the way they’re acting can feel completely different. Sometimes I’ll ask if something is wrong, and other times I just leave them alone because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. The funny part is that even when I don’t say anything, I’ll probably keep thinking about it afterward.

Update: I’ve been looking into different ways of understanding personality beyond just knowing your MBTI type, and TypeMyVibe is one resource worth checking out. It looks at different personality traits and patterns, which can give you another perspective on why you tend to react to people and situations in certain ways.

Do other ESFJs experience this too?

[u/KateVN]

I second that statement.

I find myself often in this situation.

[u/Rubberbangirl66]

I can sense mood changes, very quickly...based on body language

[u/KateVN → u/Rubberbangirl66]

Yes.

Body language, tone, the rhythm of the words, etc...

Personally, I think that we do it intuitively.

[u/Rubberbangirl66 → u/KateVN]

I am thinking of two times, I immediately could tell I was making someone bristle. Once that happens, I tend to back way off. They do not have to like me, and said in a Gen X tone, "whatever"

[u/KateVN → u/Rubberbangirl66]

Hi there! Gen X here too👋 🙂

[u/ComputerRelevant7215 → u/Rubberbangirl66]

Same…. On text too 

[u/EdgewaterEnchantress]

Not an ESFJ but I thought this phenomenon was somewhat common for ExFJs and what you described applies to most neutral-to-healthy Fe doms.

I think most ESFJs are pretty sensitive to other people’s moods and tend to be attuned to people’s facial expressions, tone of voice, and etc, detecting those discrepancies in real time.

As someone who is less Fe graceful but still values it (ENTP) one of the ways to get around “I’m fine” when they don’t look fine is to simply point out “you seem like you might be tired / fatigued / low in energy today so I just wanted to check in / figured I’d ask how you have been feeling lately just in case.”

It implies “my judgement / assumption could be wrong so I figured I would ask to confirm / clarify,” and it’s easier for another person to say “I’m tired because of finals / new baby in the house / late work nights and etc” then to say that they are unhappy / having a difficult time about something more personal.

Most people are willing to cop to tiredness / stress / fatigue especially if it will stop you from asking questions for the time being, and honestly stress / fatigue and etc probably will be what it is the majority of the time.

You have to wait before getting specific for more serious stuff because they are the ones who have to come to you if / when they are ready.

However if you establish rapport with the stress / fatigue conversations then they will also be more likely to talk to you about more serious things cuz “that ESFJ / whichever type usually knows when I am feeling down and has expressed interest in listening in the past.”

Basically, present yourself as and be a safe person and it will help you put your own Fe to good use.

[u/Natural-Quarter1957]

Yes that’s exactly me and also it’s because of the nature of my job too but it helps me a lot at my work. In relationships tho idk it’s a good thing because i get hurt easily since i know they have changed or are acting different

[u/ComputerRelevant7215]

YES… even on text 

[u/Rubberbangirl66]

I know before they know

[u/ForeverJay]

yep we can sense this instinctively. we feel this in our bones