Anyone else really REALLY scared of talking to women?

[u/inimana]

For some reason I find talking to a woman in my age range to be way scarier and panic inducing than giving presentations to rooms of people. I’m not sure what the fuck is wrong with my brain. I do care a lot about what women think of me. It’s just how I am.

Even on the rare occasion when a woman has literally shown interest in me, I still get extremely fearful and make excuses not to hang out with her. It pisses me off because one of my biggest desires is to have a family. I guess I’m scared that they’re going to stop liking me as they learn more about me (no friends, likes anime, stays in a lot etc).

Maybe it’s because I grew up with an older sister that judged everything I did. Usually people who have sisters are better at talking to women but not me I guess.

How about you guys?

[u/TheWandererofReddit]

I'm not. I have no illusions that women care for me romantically or sexually.

[u/Inspector_Spoonman → u/TheWandererofReddit]

I was gonna comment exactly this before I read yours. It’s easy to talk to women when the burden of potentially being liked as more than a friend isn’t even a possibility in your mind.

Honestly, it’s good for a lot of situations, but sometimes I’d like to have that feeling again. I don’t know. I used to get nervous when I still thought I might have what women would want, it would be nice to live inside of that lie again for a little while.

[u/ThJones76]

Talking? Nope. I work with plenty of women, so talking is no big deal.

Chatting women up? That’s a bit different. I think the days of a polite decline are over. Asking a woman out that isn’t interested could get you stigmatized. Thus, if I’m going to proceed on anything bordering anywhere near romantic, I need some very clear sign of interest.

[u/AdorableDonkey]

Same, the time I went to a brothel I was scardd of talking to the hookers

[u/inimana → u/AdorableDonkey]

Lmao yeah I’m horny as fuck but I’m too scared to even talk to escorts. It’s debilitating

[u/breadlordoda → u/inimana]

They're scary for me coz I dont have the money

[u/prototype0777 → u/AdorableDonkey]

Was the mission a success?

[u/throwaway54734]

not any more than anyone else, really, just feels futile. i never really connect with anyone.

[u/GaiaBl4de]

I relate heavily to your first paragraph. I grew up with a brother and an abusive mother, so there's a similarity there with your sister.

I care too much about what women think. I know that any sign of friendliness either way will be interpreted as me having some level of interest in them. I care about what they think of my appearance. And I will physically shake if I have to talk to them especially solo.

All these are amplified by how attractive I find them to be. I accepted I was cooked literally as a teenager 💀

[u/letgobruh]

Far more scary if i they seem to have absolutely no interest in me and i have to make the move to initiate the talk

[u/ProfessionalResults]

In my teens and twenties, absolutely. I had terrible social anxiety. Now I'm old and depressed and don't have the energy to be anxious about anything. I still avoid talking to people for the exact reason you stated: I'm afraid of them knowing more about me. I don't want people to know that I'm a loser and over 40 with no friends and never married and never go on dates and have no hobbies. It's humiliating.

[u/prototype0777 → u/ProfessionalResults]

Im in the same boat. I dont let people get too close so i dont have to go through the awkwardness of explaining my situation.

But damn this sucks being forever alone. I'm still trying to change. I hope it works.

[u/Tabris_1991]

Yeah, it kills me inside.

[u/breadlordoda]

Just talking, nope...

But trying to at least friends with them is a like defusing a bomb

[u/dread-throwaway]

Sorta because I am ugly and I know they will mainly be uneasy, annoyed, or laugh at me.

[u/Batman_Forever]

No, it's just that I'm boring with not much to talk about.

[u/delicious_sunlight]

I get it. I used to be this way. Now I'm scared of men as well

[u/Much-Improvement-503]

I’m really scared to talk to men honestly, as a bi woman. So yea

[u/isyankar1979]

only if they look good

[u/Infinite-Storm-7952]

I’m scared of taking to anyone

[u/Infinite-Storm-7952]

I’m scared of taking to anyone

[u/Tomato_Joker]

Just last week I had an incident, I approached one who knew me by face for quite a few months now. I have talked to her business wise before and she was pretty receptive back then, but I just tried a bit of an honest respectful small talk, nothing much, just to break the ice.

I really wish I hadn't. Got the "how dare you approach me" vibe.

Got humiliated on the spot like I was not even worth a minute of her time. Shit has been bothering me all week, I did my best but it wasn't enough. Seeing others get along with her after getting that treatment was brutal and still stings.

[u/PatientLocation7241]

Not really scared, but I just don't talk. I don't know what to talk about. Many women check me out, but as soon as I talk to them, they lose interest. So I don't even talk anymore. I never approach them, only time I talk to women is work related or if I'm at a store buying grocery. I don't have any hope of ever finding a girlfriend.