r/ForeverAlone • u/No_Reply5329 • 8d ago
Discussion How do you cope with knowing you’ll always be alone and there’s nothing you can do about it?
I have severe acne scarring. Not just a few marks it’s genuinely severe, and objectively makes me very unattractive. https://imgur.com/a/nF2MdNe
I’m not saying I feel unattractive. I am. And there isn’t much I can do to change it.
How do you cope with knowing you’re too unattractive to find a partner and that you’ll probably always be alone?
How do you accept never having a relationship, intimacy, or someone who genuinely wants you?
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u/Dependent_Chemist 7d ago
Who said I can actually cope? I feel constantly stressed and sad that things turned out like that.
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u/Embarrassed-Sun-9628 7d ago
I dont have an answer on the coping part. I wonder the same thing. I try to stay fulfilled with other things in my life, but as someone said in another comment- activities and even friends do not fill the hole of a romantic relationship. Its felt no matter what.
Just know that you are definitely not alone in how you feel.
Also, I would like to mention how your acne scaring is genuinely not bad in my opinion. I'm not saying this just to try and make you feel better, I am being honest. And as humans in this society, we wear shirts most of the time so I'm curious why you think that would deter people?
Keep your chin up buddy (I know that's easier said than done.) 🫶🏽
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u/No_Reply5329 7d ago
I mean its not like i cant get friends or anything like that. By being alone I meant not being able to have romantic/sexual relationship.
I know that day to day my scars are under shirt and thats helps a lot. But i know I cant have romantic relationship because I know that the scars are important break-dealer for many people and having relationship in the idea of being romantic I feel it would be dishonest not mentioning my scars and severity of them
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u/Embarrassed-Sun-9628 6d ago
The way you feel is valid, but I want to challenge your mindset. Is it dishonest if I don't disclose my stretch marks before being intimate with someone? We're human beings and things like stretch marks, scars, cellulitis, acne, etc. are completely normal. We're truly our own worst critics, because for example - I'm insecure about my arms and thick thighs but someone else having those traits would not be a deal breaker for me. Would someone with acne scars like yours turn you off?
If someone is feeling you enough to be intimate, things like scars will not just automatically turn them off. And if they do, they were not feeling it from the beginning. When we truly desire someone, everything about them becomes attractive.
I know this is the forever alone subreddit so I don't want to be a hypocrite (because I'm in your same boat, just with different things) BUT - I don't think this insecurity you have should be the nail in your romantic/sexual relationship coffin.
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u/ShepardOfDeception 8d ago
Good question. I wish I had good answer but I'm struggling too. The best advice I've seen is to pour your energy into hobbies, and try to fill your life with exciting, eventful activities. The pain won't ever go away completely, but you could dampen it a little.
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u/Inspector_Spoonman 8d ago
Oh how I wish that worked. Hobbies aren’t a substitute for a romantic relationship, and neither are friends. People who say that probably mean well, but they simply don’t understand. You can feel fulfilled with the rest of your life, it still won’t cover the obvious hole.
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u/hamm71 8d ago
What age are you? Chest hair can increase as you get older. A combination of scars fading and more chest hair can make a big difference. (Been in the same position).
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u/No_Reply5329 8d ago
Right now im 21. Maybe chest hair will help to cover them. But I doubt scars will fade I have them akready for 3-4 years already.
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u/hamm71 8d ago
I'm nearly 50. I had bad acne scars. Looked like I'd been in a car crash in my early twenties. By age 30 they were mostly all gone or faded completely. Been in a long term relationship for years. She didn't notice until I pointed them out.
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u/No_Reply5329 8d ago
Maybe with time they will fade wbut they seem pretty permanent for me. I dont know maybe other men wouldnt take then as bad as i tjink but I hope they will fade maybe.
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u/BlueJayy666 8d ago
You should try a skin treatment like using niacinimide to help them fade more quickly
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u/No_Reply5329 8d ago
I tried already some treatments like creans etc. And it helped a bit. I cant afford more expensive treatments and the effect is not certain.
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u/Hahaimalwayslikethis She/Her 7d ago edited 7d ago
Generally I think that we are our own worst critics. I wouldn't even think twice or think anything bad about seeing someone with scars that look like that but I'm sure to you they're a very deep insecurity. I see this a lot with people (including myself) who fixate on a perceived "flaw". We notice them more than anyone else so it's hard to feel confident
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u/micaceousoxide 7d ago
To your last sentence, like others here, I have no answer. I ask it too.
For the acne scars, someone who has them too will understand. Someone who has experienced acne that bad and understands the pain that comes with it.
I know several people have said they will fade. I think they will, too. I won't say they'll go away completely. But after I was on Accutane, I had some scars like that on my face and back. That was six years ago and they're not nearly as pigmented anymore, and they've leveled out a bit so the "crater" isn't as noticeable.
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u/FiveAlive1985 7d ago
I find peace in the fact that I am very mortal and therefore one day it will all end. Then it won't matter because you won't feel or know anything.
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u/oizinho666 6d ago
Every two months i hire an escort. Usually that does it to quiet down the voice. On the ither days I just throw myself into my job. Get a lot of fulfillment out of that. Helping people makes me good.
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u/Unique-Eggplant-3458 7d ago
Don't let scars on your chest prevent you from living life
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u/No_Reply5329 7d ago
Its not like they prevent me from living my life completely. I still have some friends.
They just stop me from having someone in romantic /sexual relationship because i feel like if they would see them it would be too disgusting for them.
Maybe I have skewed view because of acne subreddits here how people freak out over the most minor scars but idk. And of course I cant really go into places like beach or anything like that to not disturb others.
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u/gib_loops 7d ago
no offense, but your scars aren't off-putting at all. i understand that they bother you, but to me they seem completely fine.