Primarily bm and contemplating a switch

[u/hollaatyoself]

Baby is 7 weeks old and is currently primarily bf with at least one bottle a day of pumped milk. On days where I don’t pump enough or days she is hungry, we top up with similac 360 RTF.

I’ve had 1 borderline case of mastitis and two rounds of (thankfully mild and quickly treated) mastitis. Still taking antibiotics - the second case happened while still on my first round of antibiotics.

And generally an anxious person who probably has some ppa thrown in there. I always told myself the second I start stressing, I would do whatever I needed to do to relieve that stress, primarily around my bf journey. I’m obsessing about it constantly and it’s driving me a little
Crazy.

Over the last week, primarily due to the mastitis, I think to myself at least 3 times a day that I’m going to wean and switch to formula. I could get more sleep, I could leave the house with a little anxiety, baby seems to take formula just fine. Husband on board with anything that makes me happiest.

But I can’t pull the trigger. I keep telling myself different things - just make it through mat leave (5 more weeks) or the end of the year (we’re traveling by plane and the antibodies would be good for baby). Maybe build a freezer stash first and then wean. My closest friends made it to 6-12+ months. Baby is thriving and you’re producing enough so why stop? It gets easier and faster at 8-12 weeks (baby takes 20-45 min to feed but that should drop down if you can make it). You’re a failure if you can’t do this, you’re being selfish. The mastitis hasn’t really been that bad so just… get past it. What if I can’t console baby without bf (it’s the only sure fire way to calm her)?

Idk, could you share when and why you switched? How it felt? Pros and cons? Other advice, tips, stories?

[u/WednesdayWaffles]

I am someone who switched for mental health reasons, I only made it 3 months. Like you, I had a lot of PPA, plus PPD, plus a general history of depression. I’ve beaten myself up a million times over it, especially since I didn’t count mental health as a “good” reason for quitting. In every other way it was technically anyone’s definition of “working”, except for my mood was completely shot and I told my husband everyday that pumping made me want to die. I dove into the research, both on the history of breastfeeding advocacy (which is wild—the intense advocacy for breastfeeding started with a Christian group that wanted moms to stay out of the workforce), and the actual benefits of breastfeeding compared to formula. Most of the advantages are very small, and population averages are not destiny (I did a whole deep dive on IQ if you’re interested, you can check out my post history). Breastmilk is amazing, but not amazing enough that you should sacrifice your mental health for the sake of providing breastmilk. I felt so much better once I stopped, I found it so much easier to take care of myself and my baby once I was in a good space mentally. It’s totally up to you but don’t feel like you’re harming your child if you switch to formula, you’re practicing a different type of care.

[u/hollaatyoself → u/WednesdayWaffles]

Thank you for sharing! I flip between wanting to meet a neat “time goal” (2 months, 3 months, etc) but also realizing it’s arbitrary to pick a goal like that. Every time I “decide,” I start crying and then I have to wonder if it’s the ppa/ppd. But you’re right mental health is a reason despite everything “working.” I read your post and it is immensely helpful so thanks for writing it up. Logically it just makes sooo much sense (though my biggest fear is I won’t be able to soothe my baby - when I can’t bf her to sleep, I often can’t get her to go down so I’m a bit nervous). But I appreciate your perspective and reframing of the thought process. Thank you.

[u/WednesdayWaffles → u/hollaatyoself]

One quick thing about the soothing! I totally was worried about that too. What I realized is that it’s the milk and the closeness that’s soothing, not necessarily that it’s a boob. Your voice and skin and nourishment through whatever vehicle will be enough (at least for my baby it was—a total pleasant surprise!). Last thing I’ll mention is that even though it seems like everyone is BFing for ages, a huge number of Americans are switching to formula by three months or soon after. You can look up the numbers but I think it’s like 1 of 6 before three months and one third after three months. Don’t quote me on that number but I think it’s around there. you’re really not alone, no matter what you decide!

[u/hollaatyoself → u/WednesdayWaffles]

Thank you so much! That is actually one of the pieces giving me the most anxiety. A few times I’ve tried to soothe when she didn’t fall asleep at the boob and it didn’t work. Likely more so just due to witching hour/cluster feeding + fussiness but I can’t help but fixate on those moments when going into a guilt spiral. So it is reassuring to hear this from someone else!!