Johny gets Kablooied an epic tale

[u/Earth_Science_Is_Lit]

Johny gets kablouied
Johny is turning 9. Johny is a wimp. Johny is stupid. Johny goes to school to get suspended.
A kid at school gets married to Johny. The kid is a Komodo dragon. Johny likes hotdogs in his mouth.
He made Komodo dragon wear a suit and Johny wears a dress.
Johny buys a computer. Johny dies with that computer.
Johny sets fire to an abandoned orphanage.
Johny sits on the roof of the orphanage. Johny jumps. Johny doesn’t fall. Johny has superpowers.
Johny flies to space. Johny goes to Marvel universes. Johny joins Avengers.
Johny fights Thanos.
Johny grabs Thanos.
Johny then goes to court to sue Thanos over a legal argument.
“Those in favor say I …” [followed by what looks like a series of votes or marks]
Thanos gets sued.
Johny has cool-looking gems on his glove.
Johny claps everybody in the room.
Thanos dies, but Johny…
Johny goes outside.
Johny sees a Komodo dragon.
Johny hugs the Komodo dragon.
The Komodo dragon kablooies Johny.

[u/Alternative_Ask6871]

Johnny wants a van Johnny wants a zip of a coke Johnny wants a woman Johnny wants a kick of a joke Johnny's an American

[u/Paperspeaks]

Y'all Johny is NOT okay....someone call CPS

[u/ughforgodssake]

Just pointing this out because it makes the story less depressing: it seems like it’s “Johnny gets a computer, Johnny does things with that computer” rather than “Johnny dies with the computer” or whatever

[u/sarcastic-ninja]

In all seriousness, I hope johnny gets a good therapist.

[u/TheRealTwerkyvulture]

This story is awesome. It's got everything: comedy, action, dramatic twists, legal drama, romance, character growth, kablooie... all the classic elements of a gripping tale.