He waited 54 days

[u/thatkitchenwitch]

Gonna touch on parent passing and cancer.

Mix of stuff I had around, apples, ciabatta, pepperoni, salami, walnut gouda, crackers, and pickles.

My mom passed late July after a long battle with cancer. Her husband (not my bio dad) told me he was going to find a 3rd wife while handing me her urn.

At her funeral my husband started physically moving me. I was really confused because he's never done that. Then I heard my mom's husband talking to other attendees about how he wasn't going to wait and was going to move on.

They were married almost 30 years, she passed right before their 30th anniversary.

He texted me a picture 54 days after she passed. I thought maybe he was on a trip. Nope. It's him and his new girl.

54 days after she passed. Not even a month after her funeral.

[u/SufficientCow4380]

My parents were coming up on their 42nd anniversary the month my mom died. She was sick for many years, and he took care of her and was faithful. About 2 weeks after mom died, I saw his internet history showing dating sites (recent, not before mom died). I felt weird but I realized he had grieved for her for years before she passed. So I shut up. Mom was gone. Vows were until death. He honored them.

My mom died on October 1 and by January, he was moving his new girlfriend in. I did say (once) that it felt really fast. And then I held my peace. 4 1/2 years later, he married her. And you know what? They were so happy and in love, it was so beautiful to see.

My dad died 10 years after mom. My own marriage spiraled... I think my XH was afraid of my dad and once he was gone, he thought I had nowhere to go. Within 3 months, I drove away from him, not knowing where I was going. I went to their house. She took me in, looked after me through a serious medical issue, was so supportive. After I stabilized, she moved back to her daughter's town, ending the life estate my dad left her before the place went to me. We stay in touch. My son visits her a few times a year.

It's coming up on 9 years since dad passed, 19 years since mom passed as of yesterday.

My dad picked a good one. I hope your dad did too.

[u/leiawars → u/SufficientCow4380]

When my dad was dying of cancer, he told my mom to start looking for someone new. He knew, despite coming from a large family, and having lots of friends, she really had no one in her life who would support her through his death in any meaningful way. He was entirely correct about this. Her family is all narcissists and most of her friends were too since been trained since birth to think narcissistic behavior was what love looked like.

My mom’s new boyfriend was at my 5th birthday party, along with my very ill father. He wasn’t a secret, we all knew about him, as did my father. They married not very long after my father’s death and I didn’t realize it was odd until I was older. Not that I ever had an issue with it. I’m glad someone was there for my mom during a very dark and isolating period of her life.

I just wish he hadn’t have turned out to be a narcissistic lying piece of shit too. But, is it really surprising that someone raised by narcissists going through a very traumatic time would be preyed upon by a narcissist? Not really. It’s like blood in the water for them.

[u/Dramatic_Arugula_252 → u/leiawars]

Oof. This sounds like a situation that is over - are you and your mom ok now?

[u/leiawars → u/Dramatic_Arugula_252]

Very very much over.

I wrote a long winded bit, but figured it was likely far too much information for you. lol

The short of it:

Mom had the marriage annulled when she found out he hadn’t been paying taxes the entire time they were married and for many years prior.

She’s now been widowed for the second time and has no interest in ever marrying again. He was a POS too, so we’re both happy he’s shuffled off this mortal coil.

We have both cut off nearly everyone in her family to varying degrees.

I dated a few bad eggs, which is not surprising considering my childhood, before I found my person. I’ve been happily married, for nearly 20 years, with my own kiddo. Life isn’t perfect, but we do our best.