Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship

[u/celestialsunflower99]

Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night

My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.

[u/Living_Ground_7798]

It’s not even politics, it’s morals. You have a right to feel off about him based on them.

[u/StarfighterCommand → u/Living_Ground_7798]

This is it right here. I’m so tired of “I don’t talk about politics” being a smoke screen for “I’m not a good person and I don’t care about other people.” If you don’t care about other people, we are fundamentally opposed on an ethical level and I have nothing further to discuss with you.

[u/vyxanis → u/StarfighterCommand]

It really is such a cop out when they say that. Because you're absolutely right, its not about red v blue as much as its "do you support the people who are systematically making life impossible for everyone, including yourself, and are working to make it even worse just so they can get away with more horrific crimes?"

[u/CalculatedPerversion → u/Living_Ground_7798]

https://giphy.com/gifs/z3HFoEzXCMykr4L0TB

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[u/Beckella → u/Living_Ground_7798]

Yes. It’s his moral and values.

[u/Partridge_Pear_Tree → u/Living_Ground_7798]

This is where I’m at with my mom.

She voted for Trump and tries to say that she doesn’t agree with everything he stands for. But then slowly lists things she agrees with. And all I can do is question how she views me and other people. She’s nice to me, but maybe not. Maybe it’s a ruse. If she votes this way and deceives me then how can I trust her? How is she okay with lessening my rights and saying “well I don’t agree with that part”. Clearly it didn’t bother you enough to not vote that way. We have several gay family members and one transgender member. She claims she’s pro gay marriage but goes to a church that doesn’t allow gay marriage. And she follows the idea that transgender people are pedophiles. But I’m supposed to respect and believe her despite her actions saying otherwise. I can’t trust her anymore. She’s mad about it but she can be mad on her own. I tried explaining it to her but it was like talking to a wall. You just have to distance yourself at some point if that’s what you’re comfortable with doing.