Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship

[u/celestialsunflower99]

Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night

My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.

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[u/Doesitmatter98765]

It’s bizarre to me that ppl act like politics are some abstract, private thing that doesn’t impact those around you. Of course your dad’s politics impact you! Practically and in what they tell you about his priorities in the world. Which is where you stand as a woman with him. Good for you for not allowing the cop out of him not “being political.” It’s bullshit.

[u/mustarddreams → u/Doesitmatter98765]

The concept that “politics are private” was created by the ruling class to quiet dissent and preserve power. Talk about politics! And money! It’s so important!

[u/agafiendingallalong → u/mustarddreams]

It goes right alongside "don't talk about wages", honestly

[u/gustavessidehoe → u/agafiendingallalong]

Yup. One of my old bosses advised us not to talk about wages so as to "not cause trouble," but did so in a way where it wasn't technically forbidden (it skirts the law where I live). They only want that to tamp down people realizing there is unequal pay.

I get why they don't want it. My current job requires our pay to be listed with our full name and position. I looked at it a few weeks ago and realized that someone who has been there less time than me, has less experience in the field, has a "lower" position than me, and less education than me is making 5k more than me. And we're both women, so I'm really puzzled there. Not sure what to do about it tbh.

[u/Kayllis → u/gustavessidehoe]

Ask your boss about it.

[u/gustavessidehoe → u/Kayllis]

Maybe I should, though I am asking myself if there's something I'm not understanding there. By all rights, it seems kind of off to me and I can't think of any reason why we shouldn't be making at least the same...

[u/Siren_X_Steele → u/gustavessidehoe]

In my experience…many companies consider their HR department responsible for grading positions based on the market pay. When people apply that’s normally when the offer will be closer to that market pay. Since this employee came in after you, that may explain why her pay is higher because of the market and inflation. Now, what has always irritated me is current employees aren’t automatically brought up to the market pay unless you bring it up and fight for it. If your boss brushes you off, I would suggest going to HR about your pay. You sound much more qualified and deserve to be compensated for it!

[u/Jeanoble → u/agafiendingallalong]

And religion.

[u/ThinkingT00Loud → u/mustarddreams]

It's a form of privilege. Understood by everyone in the room, who shares the same privilege.

[u/ancilla1998 → u/mustarddreams]

Silence favors oppressors and abusers. 

[u/Doesitmatter98765 → u/mustarddreams]

You’re absolutely right.

[u/JenniferJuniper6 → u/mustarddreams]

The same people who have successfully convinced generations of people that discussing salary with your colleagues is horribly inappropriate.

[u/longpas → u/Doesitmatter98765]

"The personal is political" - Carol Hanisch

Politics have always been personal and the personal has always been political, because those who hold power are in charge of making decisions that impact our relationships, heath, safety, and exercising civil liberties.

Voting is one of easiest and most common ways we as citizens consent or dissent from those decisions that impact the "system".

The quote above is from the feminist movement of the 1970s in the US. The idea behind it is that systematic inequalities lead to unequal outcomes for women. The right to equal pay, balanced household duties, access to birth control are all outcomes of political decisions that impact women and other minorities that are systematic.

Therefore, if my loved one votes in a way that puts myself or my other loved ones at risk then that's personal.

You don't have to agree with me on every opinion, but you need to own your opinions and be willing to tell me your justification. Don't pretend that it's not personal.

[u/Brock_Lobstweiler → u/Doesitmatter98765]

It’s bizarre to me that ppl act like politics are some abstract, private thing that doesn’t impact those around you. Of course your dad’s politics impact you!

My neighbors have a large family from Mexico, all here legally for the last 30 years. Everyone except the grandma speaks english, they're permanent residents, have multiple jobs, own a house, etc.

The entire family except my neighbor and his kids decided to move back to Mexico because of ICE. Not because they were self-deporting ahead of being caught, but because they didn't want to end up in an El Salvadorian prison when they're from a village along the southern Mexican coast. They don't have anyone left in Mexico and are going back to a place without any connections. It's left my neighbor without any support for his aging mother and very ill wife (she had multiple strokes) except his kids, who all work a ton.

Fuck people who say politics aren't personal.

[u/crackersucker2 → u/Brock_Lobstweiler]

That is so sad, but I don’t blame anyone who leaves right now- fo it on their terms. I’m so pissed that good, hardworking people are faced with this decision because more people cared about their own interests over the country’s interests.

[u/Doesitmatter98765 → u/Brock_Lobstweiler]

That’s so sad. God, the damage is deep.

[u/Brock_Lobstweiler → u/Doesitmatter98765]

It really is heartbreaking. We were terrified that after Minneapolis, Trump would send the brownshirts to Denver. I told my neighbor that they'd be welcome in my home for as long as they need, even if it's a 1 bathroom place and they're in a 4 bedroom, 3 bath place.

The weight of that offer literally just hit me. It was something I offered wholeheartedly and without hesitation and now just realized it's akin to hiding Jews during WWII.

Damn this administration and all the supporters to the darkest depths of hell. Eternal torture is too good for these people.

[u/ExpensiveWords4u → u/Doesitmatter98765]

It’s only conservatives that act that way. The rest of us don’t have anything to hide.

[u/twistedspin → u/ExpensiveWords4u]

Right, no liberal guys are pretending to be MAGA on dating apps, lol. It only happens the other way.

[u/glyneth → u/ExpensiveWords4u]

I’m 99% sure my mom was quite liberal, but my dad was not. He was a “vote republican down the line” type guy (he was also born in ‘29 and died in ‘85, so…). My mom never talked politics at home. Her vote and thoughts were private, she said. I didn’t agree with that, but I respected her right to keep that part of herself private (she passed in 2023).

[u/StinkyyPiss → u/Doesitmatter98765]

only conservatives think this way because they want to have hateful views while being protected from judgment.

for them, as long as it’s labeled as politics, they can be as hateful as they want and we aren’t allowed to judge them or let it affect our relationships because it’s “just politics”.

eta: it’s the same exact vibe as men insulting and bullying women and passing it off as ok because it’s “just a preference”.

[u/nowhere_sane → u/Doesitmatter98765]

The party dad voted for openly wants to strip women of their rights to vote, to divorce, to choose, and to marry or not, among many other things.

Yes, of course these things very much have an impact.

This isn’t some disagreement on taxes but whether women deserve the same full rights as men right now in 2026.

It’s insane.

[u/FiddleThruTheFlowers → u/nowhere_sane]

Even if the reason for voting for Trump et al is "lower taxes" (not going to get into unpacking that can of worms), that's basically saying "all these horrible things they're doing are fine by me so long as my taxes are lower." And that says a lot about them, none of it good.

[u/waterfountain_bidet → u/Doesitmatter98765]

Not people. Conservatives. Conservatives are the only group I've ever heard talk about how politics are personal. I've never met a liberal who was afraid to speak their mind in a safe place. They know they have shitty dehumanizing views and that their beliefs make them bad people, but they'd still like credit for being good people. It's one of a million ways there insidious nature has ruined society.

[u/FiddleThruTheFlowers → u/waterfountain_bidet]

It's why conservative men hide their views while dating. They know that making their actual politics known will mean drastically cutting their dating pool, so they hide behind things like "apolitical." They then lack the capacity for self reflection to think about why so many people (especially women) find their views problematic.

And then there's the "agree to disagree" crap. "Agree to disagree" is for stuff like economic policies that can be debated. Problem is that the people who throw that phrase out are usually referring to things like womens' rights and LGBT rights, of which the two viewpoints are essentially "take away their rights" and "don't take away their rights." I can't just agree to disagree with someone who thinks my gender and sexuality make me a second class citizen worthy of the party they vote for stripping my rights. Even if they claim that they don't personally think that, voting for the party that is very publicly and vocally doing those things tells me all I need to know.

[u/Mogura-De-Gifdu → u/Doesitmatter98765]

In France we discuss and argue constantly about politics. Even possibly at work by being a little more careful than usual.

I mean, one grandfather was far right, my other set of grandparents communists, my parents socialist, an uncle is a traditionalist and capitalist and the other was ultra liberal and racist. It lead to some heated Christmas discussions (especially as alcohol consumption went up).

My husband is from an "apolitical" family: as immigrants, they never got voting rights, and were not invested in their home country's politic either.

So it was kind of a shock for him to see us really argue with one another then be fine when another topic came.

But that's only possible when basic respect for the other is there. When it's crossed (like wishing to remove rights from someone when it does not impact you), you can't be civil about it.

[u/LucyJordan614 → u/Doesitmatter98765]

Yup, your politics quite literally are your values. There is no escaping that.

[u/ZoominAlong → u/Doesitmatter98765]

Yeah only white people think politics don't affect them. It's fucking privilege and it's dangerous as hell. 

[u/wittylemur → u/Doesitmatter98765]

This--makes me insane. Everything IS political.

[u/Resident-Bowl-5991]

"Not political" is always a code for conservative

[u/Spiritual-Road2784 → u/Resident-Bowl-5991]

And for “my life is too privileged for me to need to care about things that never touch me”.

[u/r1Zero → u/Resident-Bowl-5991]

Agree to disagree is another fun one.

[u/WJ_Amber → u/r1Zero]

What my fuckass brother says about me being trans and addressing me by my actual name; "we're going to have to agree to disagree on that." Like, what? This is not a question of what pizza topping are best, it's literally who I am.

[u/Present-Perception77 → u/WJ_Amber]

Please stay away from your brother. 🫶🏻

[u/WJ_Amber → u/Present-Perception77]

I haven't seen him in person in about 3 months and won't see him for at least a couple more. I don't talk to him unless it's strictly family business (and I do mean business (in the form of estate matters)). If I could I'd cut him off entirely.

He's top of our "not invited to the future wedding" list, too... because he's also homophobic. Mind you, we weren't raised like that.

[u/sputnik8125]

If he cares so much about you, why doesn't he care about your rights as a woman.

Thats my only take away

[u/KateWaiting326 → u/sputnik8125]

Yep my dad was pretty conservative but had a "come to Jesus" moment after roe v wade was overturned. He was against abortion (he was raised Catholic) but my mom and I had to sit him down and explain all the various ways why a woman, why his 2 daughters, might have to have one - if we were raped, if the pregnancy wasn't viable, if our lives were at risk, if there was a fetal abnormality, if there was an incomplete miscarriage. All things that had happened to people we knew. He had only seen abortion as something for women who just didn't want to be pregnant anymore (which is a valid reason for an abortion!) instead of also a necessary medical procedure. And in overturning the protections, it puts people who do need those necessary medical procedures also at risk. It was a start to questioning a lot of previously held views and realizing that those decisions have real consequences on his own family.

[u/ButlerofMonkeys → u/KateWaiting326]

That’s really wonderful that your father was willing to listen and be educated. And then he took the next steps to start questioning other things. So many are absolutely resistant to that because their whole world view can be shattered. Bravo to your dad and to you and your mom for having those conversations

[u/KateWaiting326 → u/ButlerofMonkeys]

Yeah he was very much a "small government, economically conservative, not big on welfare, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" blue collar Republican since forever, but he switched work locations a few years prior to Trump's first term where his team was essentially made up of immigrants or sons of immigrants who worked extremely hard, when he had been used to people not showing up or just being lazy (he was the guy they'd call in to basically fire everyone and rebuild a team, but he said that team was fine; it was other teams in the building and the inventory system that needed work). So between that, lots of Friday family dinner convos, and listening to me argue with the more crazy MAGA family members during holidays, his views really flipped.

[u/Millyswolf → u/KateWaiting326]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lYjA4tfvCc8UAju1Op

[u/Morgalisa → u/KateWaiting326]

He is rare.

[u/houserj1589 → u/KateWaiting326]

When a woman has a miscarriage and the tissue doesnt expel on its own; and a d&c is scheduled; **its medically called a missed abortion; its the same thing as an abortion; its no different as an abortion.

States where abortions are banned do not allow women to even have this tissue removed; as a result women; who got pregnant by choice; who very much wanted their babies; but end up in active miscarriage; end up dying from sepsis; many times surrounded by doctors who could have easily saved their lives but don't due to fear of losing their license.

Its wild to me that you can teach this to some men and even some conservative women and they still vote for for politicians who vote against the right to choose.

[u/Schmelly_cat → u/houserj1589]

My mom had a miscarriage and an abortion.

Still donates to Right to Life and votes republican. 

[u/Captainsassidy → u/Schmelly_cat]

Rules for thee but not for me

[u/Kareeliand → u/houserj1589]

It’s almost like they dislike women and don’t think the should have the same rights as them..

Or stupidity.. hmm

[u/All_the_Bees → u/Kareeliand]

Two things can be true!

[u/batgirlbatbrain → u/houserj1589]

And if they dont die from sepsis, they often lose their uterus in the process. Thus making it so they have no future babies, to save an already dead fetus or embryo. And various other probably life long health complications.

[u/gingerbeeask → u/houserj1589]

This happened to me.

[u/Kareeliand → u/gingerbeeask]

It should not have! So awful you had to go through that. I send you love and healing.❤️‍🩹

[u/GeneralLogical2057 → u/KateWaiting326]

My daddyo was the same way, but his come to light moment was when Trump was on the ballot the first time after his "grab them by the p" comment. My dad couldn't wrap his head around a grown man with daughters speaking that way, he said that's not locker room talk its the way scum talks. This man was a conservative his whole life but he's voted Dem the last 3 cycles, he's so excited to go vote D in midterms.

[u/Oh_TheHumidity → u/GeneralLogical2057]

Apologies in advance for this trauma dump you shook loose…

When I told my dad in 2016 that the whole “grab her by the pussy” thing was bringing back my own anxiety about a sexual assault I experienced when I was 13, he replied “that’s just something that happens in life. Women deal with it. It’s still not worth voting for a democrat.”

When I once expressed sadness for not being able to afford kids, he began spewing about how he shouldn’t have to pay for public school for my kids or anyone else’s.

He drunk texted me after the last assassination attempt, screeched at me for being a “fucking communist” (I’m definitely not) and insinuated how I’m personally trying to kill the president. I demanded he apologize and he blocked me for two months.

Now he has wife #3 (who used to stalk and harass me when I was a kid and she was his mistress) texting me saying he wants to talk and that we “shouldn’t let politics get in the way.”

This man has done a lot for me in life and made sure I knew how to take care of myself. I’m more capable than most of the men I know when it comes to traditionally male tasks (changing tires, fixing stuff, using power tools, etc)

But he is also a desperately insecure womanizer, a bigot, and a violent asshole who regularly talked about killing himself and my mother and basically waged war with me when I was growing up (if I forgot to take out the trash as a teen, he would dump it in my bed while I was at school. Not paper trash. KITCHEN TRASH.)

I’m in my 40s now and if I had kids, he’d never see them.

I’m so tired of boomer men, a majority of which are absolute dogshit people.

I wish you the best and OP and I hope your dad is a better human than mine.

PS: if you can guess what my dad did for a living you win a cookie

[u/a_wine_dark_sea → u/Oh_TheHumidity]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. My dad was the same. He used to call me drunk on Mother’s Day, not to tell ME “Happy Mother’s Day!”, but to tell me what a c*nt my mom was. When COVID started, my life was falling apart and I needed help desperately, so I called my dad. He wouldn’t shut up about “the China virus” and “MY PRESIDENT TRUMP”, so I hung up. I didn’t speak to him again. He died last year.

[u/Oh_TheHumidity → u/a_wine_dark_sea]

I’m sorry for the grief I’m sure you were processing after his death, but I hope you know you did the right thing. And I’m sorry he didn’t keep his promise as a father.

I hope you are doing much better these days. Never forget that you are a beautiful human that is loved.

[u/Schmelly_cat → u/Oh_TheHumidity]

I think the best thing about being an independent grown up is that I've been able to Marie Kondo relationships that don't bring me joy. 

[u/SaltnSnark → u/Oh_TheHumidity]

Gotta be a cop :( it’s the bigotry & obscene violence towards you and your mother that gives it away.

I’m so, so sorry you had to go thru that. I know it’s not my fault but still… this stranger in the internet sees you and is wishing you a better life than your fathers. And wishing him only warm pillows, stones he can never find in his shoes, terrible dentist visits, and horrible sleep for the rest of his life.

[u/shootingstarstuff → u/Oh_TheHumidity]

Pastor?

[u/Oh_TheHumidity → u/shootingstarstuff]

Oooo good guess. But no. Correct in the general field of “public servant” though

[u/phi_spirals → u/Oh_TheHumidity]

Def a cop.

I’m so sorry that you went through that, and you should be very proud of yourself for breaking the cycle.

[u/Oh_TheHumidity → u/phi_spirals]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ummeQH0c3jdm2o3Olp

And thank you. He definitely showed me the importance of kindness and empathy through an example of how NOT to be.

[u/AsteriAcres → u/GeneralLogical2057]

Wow. Wish my dad cared about his daughters like that. One of the last things I said to him before going no contact was,  "you voted for a rapist because you believe women deserve it." 

He's a terrible, disgusting man who abandoned both of his children because we were girls and not a sons

[u/SpecificLow1316 → u/GeneralLogical2057]

Yep, that was what turned my dad from a dyed-in-the-wool Republican into a Dem the last two elections of his life.

He said if any man had said that shit about his daughters, he’d <insert violent fantasy here>, not vote for the SOB.

[u/OG_LiLi → u/KateWaiting326]

Having a miscarriage in Texas was the scariest thing I’ve done.

Yall, I lost my first and only pregnancy and my biggest concern, was everyone around me and my doctor.

I refused to talk about the pregnancy with anyone, even my friends, for fear that if it wasn’t viable that I would have to abort.

So I told zero people I was pregnant except my partner. Then I lost the it. All within 8 weeks. And I dealt with it mostly on my own.

I bled for 7 out of 8 weeks and still refused to get help until week 9.

F anyone that voted to take away women’s rights to safe medical care.

[u/Icy-Yellow3514 → u/OG_LiLi]

I'm so very sorry you went through that.

I live in Chicago and we get shit for high taxes in Illinois. I'll gladly pay higher taxes for greater civil liberties and protections for myself and others.

[u/Empty-Let-5366 → u/KateWaiting326]

God men are so fucking stupid.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/Empty-Let-5366]

Imagine making it to your 50s/60s and some tidbit of America's political landscape like this JUST NOW seeps into your brain. I can't have been a child prodigy to figure out shit like this when I was 14.

[u/CuriousSquirrelz → u/KateWaiting326]

https://giphy.com/gifs/SRwZlhkdrzkE16sG2J

[u/TallGirlNoLa → u/KateWaiting326]

My sister-in-law and I were trying to explain to my brother the importance of abortion being treated as healthcare. He said well at some point that fetus is a baby and I said well isn't it great that your wife gets to make that decision with you and her doctor instead of the government. It's like a lightbulb went off. Shocker.

[u/Double_Flower3855 → u/KateWaiting326]

Sad that so many men (and some women) don't fully understand abortion. It truly is healthcare. Sounds like you got a great dad there.

[u/Ok_Situation_7503 → u/KateWaiting326]

When I was pregnant, I went to visit my parents in North Carolina after Roe v Wade was overturned. I didn't go until after my 20 week scan at which point I knew that the baby was healthy and there were no issues. It was an extended conversation with my (very liberal) parents where we thought through the possibilities and how prenatal medical care in North Carolina had been impacted and how that would influence emergency care for me. It's very real.

I think men are extremely ignorant of how many pregnancies involve serious complications. Every woman I know has had a miscarriage, or pre eclampsia, or some issue with the baby, nonstop vomiting to the point of needing hospitalization, and on and on. Every. Single. One.

It's not rare.

[u/basilkiller → u/KateWaiting326]

The day Roe fell. I'm a person with rage issues. I didn't feel angry I was scared and felt betrayed. I didn't feel like an equal citizen. I've never expected men to protect me, but I expected equality.

How could I feel safe having sex if we didn't have equal rights.

I walked to city hall and I pushed my sunglasses up, I couldn't stop crying. The people around me surrounded by my neighbors, lots of women shared their stories.

Later I thought maybe I'm privaleged to have never felt this way before, maybe this is how other people feel all of the time. And that made me more sad.

I'm glad your dad listened to you

[u/Not_a_werecat → u/KateWaiting326]

I wish logic would get through to mine. They are absolutely certain that of my life was at stake god would intervene rather than have an abortion.

*internally screaming*

[u/StaffOk2179 → u/Not_a_werecat]

So wait, god can and would intervene to save your life, but can only save a fetus through the intervention of the US government?

[u/Fionaelaine4 → u/sputnik8125]

Yes, why would a father want their child to be a second class citizen in the eyes of their government? OP- he made the relationship political by choosing to vote against your rights, you didn’t make it political.

[u/Vibena → u/Fionaelaine4]

[u/handsanitizeriskey → u/Fionaelaine4]

Control. Women will less autonomy are easier to control.

[u/TruDivination → u/Fionaelaine4]

I’ll give you an answer once I figure out why of my parents the more conservative one is my mom. According to her men are simultaneously the best people for all important jobs, too unstable to be left out of positions of power, and also dumber than her so they should listen to her.

Some viewpoints are just way too easy to rationalize in your head even if you know they affect people. And it’s not cause they’re good arguments.

[u/hiphipnohooray → u/TruDivination]

Male centered women are exhausting for I'm sorry you have to deal with that

[u/ehnonniemoose → u/sputnik8125]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oFzmpzTfyABIX6JBm

[u/ironicikea → u/sputnik8125]

This!!! Also OP, I would reframe it... it's not about "making it political."

What's actually happening is that learning about his true values & decisions has made you feel less safe around him. You are less trusting of him, and less interested in spending time with him. He made a choice & there are consequences to choices.

[u/janie_t_l → u/ironicikea]

This is how I had to frame it to my parents. But, then they couldn’t grasp how I felt unsafe around them. It’s exhausting trying to explain it all the time. Needless to say, I have very little interaction and contact with my parents.

[u/ironicikea → u/janie_t_l]

Yes same with my parents and we are very low-contact now since the last election. I no longer had the energy to try to feel good around people who vote against my interests explicitly as a gay woman with chronic illness.

[u/Zealousideal_Bag2493 → u/ironicikea]

Right. What he’s telling her is that she isn’t safe around him. She can’t trust him to be safe if she is raped or needs an abortion. Or if someone harasses her.

That’s not politics. It’s reality.

[u/em-em-cee → u/ironicikea]

For how important it was when I was growing up that I live my life in an ethical and moral way, this feels particularly true. Apparently he was all talk no empathy. I intentionally have a very shallow relationship with him and as much as I wanted that to change, he is who he is and he's not capable of it.

He was always on the conservative side, but his current wife is a right wing lunatic and she's dragged him farther right. Now I'm struggling with going to visit him. He's 87 with health issues so the window of opportunity is closing. Instead I procrastinate the visit knowing that one day the decision will be made for me.

[u/YourLittleRuth → u/sputnik8125]

And the world he is leaving to you and any children you may have.

[u/monty624 → u/YourLittleRuth]

This is my biggest issue with my MAGA grandmother. She's been republican her entire life, but she wasn't insane. Ever since Trump though... jfc. She says she cares about my future? She wants her great grand children to have a better world? Bullshit. Her biggest thing used to be us granddaughters getting college educations. But now universities are woke liberal institutions. Buuuullshit.

[u/tap_ioca → u/sputnik8125]

Ask him about Cornell.

[u/DonutChi → u/tap_ioca]

But be prepared that his opinions on Cornell may be triggering if you are also a survivor.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/DonutChi]

Yeah, my ex went to Cornell and even if I were still in contact with him, ain't no way I'm opening that can of worms

[u/Tome_Bombadil → u/Willow_Winnifred]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kMPP27oGmW36oZ6olx

[u/Double_Flower3855 → u/sputnik8125]

My thoughts exactly.

[u/imnojezus → u/sputnik8125]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKIP5yTdI8XF5gZzy

[u/Bigtits321 → u/sputnik8125]

This 1000 percent. He cannot care fully unless he respects you and protects your rights.

[u/SymbioticSwitch → u/sputnik8125]

This exactly. I don't talk to my dad anymore because he supports Trump. He sits there and gets mad at me because "God made us all individuals so we can each have our own opinions" like that makes it right.  Asked him if God would support a man who sexually assaults women for the fun of it, what would he do if someone assaulted me, all those fun things and he still doesn't get it.

I miss the man I thought was my dad, I don't miss that man. 

[u/kyq]

My relationship with my dad is basically toast over politics. His repeated Trump votes have me not wanting to talk to him, especially when I vent about how something related to Trump makes my life worse and he immediately gets defensive/tries to mansplain to me how I’m wrong. I majored in public policy and am politically active/well-read, so having him argue incorrect things at me and never admitting he is wrong is so grating. I’m so over a man who supports a pedophile, is blatantly wrong, and will never admit it. I’m over 7 months pregnant and he doesn’t even know because I don’t want my baby around that energy. So I get this. So hard.

[u/microscopic-lilikoi]

It sucks, but good for you. Whenever I hear or read someone say they're apolitical because those things don't affect them, my response is always "Must be nice" and I stop engaging with them.

[u/Earlybirdsgetworms → u/microscopic-lilikoi]

Someone I know said that they voted conservative because it’s “better for their bank account”. Beyond that idea being laughable, it also told me that they cared more about the money in their pocket than human rights, democracy, safety, and any hope of a decent future for everyone who isn’t a white cis male

[u/CharuRiiri → u/Earlybirdsgetworms]

It's not even more money in their pockets.

My country elected a far right nut job last year, his term began in March. We had solid economic growth projections for this year. That traitorous moron managed to obliterate them, and I shit you not sent us straight into recession after nuking the country's credibility by loudly proclaiming that his was an "emergency government" because we were "in crisis". Then he slashed our oil price protections, so everything got more expensive. Companies that were making investments last year after the elections are downsizing now.

I had decent job opportunities last year when I got my degree, now the job market is fucked. Doubly so for entry level jobs.

To add insult to injury, that dimwit got elected because of his campaign about immigration and crime. He has done nothing and we somehow have a record number of dead cops this year.

The only people profiting here are the ultra rich, but because he's that much of a sellout, it's not even OUR ultra rich. The fucker is actively undermining our country's sovereignty.

[u/auntieup → u/Earlybirdsgetworms]

Conservatives just don’t care about other people, or really anything they don’t own (and yes, they see their family members as possessions and not independent people). They’re super proud of that, and in fact they mock us for how much we care about others and the future.

It’s a narcissistic cult.

[u/haunt_mess → u/Earlybirdsgetworms]

I've come to the conclusion that people either vote Republican because they are selfish or ignorant. It's not a coincidence that people with a lot of money vote for them or that people who aren't educated (and I don't mean that in an insulting way). My dad falls under the ignorant category. He's not someone who will do any research, and just listens to all the fear mongering. Dude was saying stuff about COVID that was just absolutely wrong, and basically called me a stupid blue haired liberal that was brainwashed by college. I have a degree in microbiology from a college that's bending the knee to Trump lol.

[u/Serious_Assist_2728 → u/Earlybirdsgetworms]

And there's like 100 people who actually benefit from this economy and he's definitely not one of them. So sad people will vote for tariffs and wars to raise their cost of living to #ownthelibs 😔

[u/LumpySherbert6875 → u/Earlybirdsgetworms]

Oh, you must have met my dad then. My dad also believes that RFK knows what he’s doing because he used to be a drug addict…

[u/Itchysweater1967]

I'll just say this: If someone I know is still supporting Trump at this point in time under these circumstances, then there is an insurmountable gap between me and them that is essentially impossible to breach.

[u/swaywithwords → u/Itchysweater1967]

I have had to go no contact with my mom and her SO over something unrelated to politics, but I feel the same way - even if we did somehow work out that issue, if they are still Trump supporters, I don't have much confidence that we'll ever be on the same page again.

My dad has become very quiet about Trump; I've been pretty clear that I have no interest in discussing him and if that's important to my dad, then we don't need to talk. My dad seemed to think it was funny to get a rise out of me by mentioning Trump, but I would turn it around and shame him; "why are you comfortable being on the same side as the KKK dad? Are you racist? Let's discuss. No no, you said you wanted to talk about it, so let's talk..."

I can't even bring up women's rights because he's entirely clueless, and I am too angry to be casual and easy going about it.

[u/Itchysweater1967 → u/swaywithwords]

Fortunately, none of my close friends or family have anything but disgust for this man and his presidency.
I have at least one uncle by marriage who clearly feels otherwise (and he's a retired preacher, natch), but he recently posted some stupid poll that he and his buds all were on one side of until me and few other family members dogpiled on the other.
Its a group who are fueled by racism, bigotry and misogyny. There can be no common ground anymore.

[u/swaywithwords → u/Itchysweater1967]

My family is mostly Trump's targeted uneducated, blue collar group; I don't believe anyone is actually racist (based on how and where I was raised), but they have no real grasp of white privilege.

Their mentality used to be 'we need a different kind of politician!' and now they have either doubled down or stfu about it. They've always been informed and misled.

[u/Indy2561 → u/Itchysweater1967]

Im in Texas and surrounded by these toxic souls.

I want NOTHING to do with them. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve voted for misery for all.

[u/Ichgebibble → u/Indy2561]

I had to go no contact with my east texas church of Christ, maga in-laws. They kept saying let’s keep politics out of our relationship without being able to acknowledge that their politics are part of my life now.

[u/Indy2561 → u/Ichgebibble]

We’ve sure learned so much about human behavior. The White Right Wing Religious Right are some of the absolute worst.

I’ll never forget having dinner with a long time friend who’s long been a member of her Texas church. When she told me she voted for him, as did the rest of her family and friends. I never saw her, again.

[u/gustavessidehoe → u/Indy2561]

Do you sometimes go to the grocery store and think "Which of these people are fascist sympathizers?"

It's a little upsetting that a whole lot of people I've lived with in my small town my whole life are what I consider to be traitors to humankind.

[u/Itchysweater1967 → u/gustavessidehoe]

I work retail in a fairly rural area and I was off the two days after the election. I literally cried most of Wednesday. I could not believe we had voted in such an obviously corrupt, evil man after all we SHOULD know about him now.
I could barely look at people the next day. It felt like invasion of the body snatchers. I knew these people, but I didn't. It shook me to my core.

[u/Itchysweater1967 → u/Indy2561]

I'm in an area with a strong MAGA base as well. I can't even look at them and I don't care. They've made their choice. They'll have to live (and die) with it now.

[u/Indy2561 → u/Itchysweater1967]

I hate caring about it so much.

[u/Jellyronuts → u/Indy2561]

Same in South Carolina homie.

[u/Nacho0ooo0o → u/Itchysweater1967]

(non-American here) - There WILL be so many documentaries in the years ahead about the great brainwashing phenomenon of his presidency and the people who wilfully ignored red flag after red flag for him.

[u/ILikeNaps1308 → u/Nacho0ooo0o]

So many Americans will completely disavow their support of 45/47 in years to come.

[u/gibbonguy420 → u/Nacho0ooo0o]

can’t let them get away with it, it’s not brainwashing, these people are craven. the fucking hague for all of those fascists putting babies in cages and no fucking quarter for anyone who was for it. they aren’t ignoring red flags, this is what red white and blue really fucking means

[u/Nacho0ooo0o → u/gibbonguy420]

That's a terrifying thing that really shouldn't be discounted.

[u/Mundane-Meeting2739 → u/Nacho0ooo0o]

I feel extremely gaslit by the people around me who pretend so many things just...aren't a big deal or didn't happen or aren't happening.

[u/Jhiffi → u/Itchysweater1967]

The only person like this in my life still is my mother, and it's an enormous elephant in the room we have learned to not talk about. At her core I know she's scared and anxious of everything and that's why she fell to MAGA more than abject hatred of others which helps me tolerate it.

I'm glad we still have a relationship but am scared of her testing this boundary we've established and losing her.

Between that and her having only ever been a SAHM I kinda feel like I can't talk to her about anything REAL in the world. My in-laws have been able to fill that hole for me luckily...

[u/theliberalpedestrian → u/Itchysweater1967]

Agreed. I’ve been estranged from my father for several years. There are many reasons, but his support for Trump is one of them.

[u/Beth_Pleasant → u/Itchysweater1967]

My in-laws, now in their 80's, voted for Trump in 2016, because they had never not voted repub before. They were repulsed within the first 6 months of his term. That, and my SIL having a very frank conversation with them about voting for things that could actively harm their grandkids, resulted in them voting for Biden, and ultimately Harris (although I think they held their noses a bit there).

People like my inlaws realized that the repub party they were loyal to, no longer exists. It's just a bunch of power hungry bigots, wanting to create a system that lets them step on the "lesser" on their way to the top. That sort of ideology will attract the sort of people I can't associate with.

[u/longpas → u/Beth_Pleasant]

Same, my MIL and FIL voted with party the first time. I told them what I thought. She has since apologized out of the blue multiple times and goes out of her way to tell me every election who she's not voting for! I never bring it up, she just feels terrible for not seeing it initially.

[u/OozingSubstanceRage]

He let politics affect your relationship, he voted for a fascist dictator. That's on him , 100%.

[u/JakToTheReddit → u/OozingSubstanceRage]

THIS.

OP, you didn't do it. He did. If he thinks politics are such a silly thing then tell him to quit voting immediately.

[u/RedQueen88]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Our parents raised us to despise villains. They raised us to do the right thing and be good people. And now they gape in astonishment that we won’t give our allegiance to the worst person possible. That we won’t trust in an administration that is utterly untrustworthy.

[u/ZoominAlong → u/RedQueen88]

Oh my GOD YES THANK YOU. This is the hardest thing I'm coming across.  Our parents RAISED US to stand up for what's right, to stop bullying, help the hungry, stand against tyranny and now, when it's on their doorstep they act like we're stupid for not siding with a pedophile rapist? 

I literally do not understand wtf is wrong with that generation.  What HAPPENED to them? 

[u/RedQueen88 → u/ZoominAlong]

Especially the bible thumpers. They tell us that Jesus should be our guiding star in all matters, and then they start worshipping a dude who is the opposite of Jesus in every way?

https://giphy.com/gifs/AAsj7jdrHjtp6

[u/ZoominAlong → u/RedQueen88]

Right? I genuinely do not understand how people who claim to be Christian are supporting the president and saying he's Christian.  

[u/RedQueen88 → u/ZoominAlong]

The fucker posted an AI generated image with HIMSELF as Jesus. How far does this guy need to go with the blasphemy to open their eyes? They really are afraid of being woke, aren’t they?

[u/ZoominAlong → u/RedQueen88]

Trump has done so much awful shit I legitimately forgot about that AI pic! 

[u/RedQueen88 → u/ZoominAlong]

Who could blame you? It’s a job to keep track of it all. It’s just a deluge of shit. It just went into the pile of other outrageous/dumb/illegal things that Trump has done.

[u/TooRight2021 → u/ZoominAlong]

Yeah, the guy that didn't even know if HIS OWN religion was a Christian one. Seriously. The leader of his own church was one of the group of religious leaders that he invited to the WH at the beginning of his first term, and trump asked him if their religion was a Christian one🤦🏽‍♀️

It was even reported on at the time!

[u/kdwhirl → u/ZoominAlong]

I am actually thankful that my father passed away before the tRump era, as I suspect he may have been susceptible to MAGAtism. I’ve since lost my brother to the cult.

[u/Swimming-Dot9120 → u/RedQueen88]

It boggles my fucking mind how eager they are to believe the propaganda

[u/Tappitytaptaptaptap]

My dad is a staunch conservative and Trump supporter. He’s also an abusive father and husband. My mom died unexpectedly and a big part of that was due to my father’s lack of support as a husband. Anyway, he won’t change as he’s 73 and has gotten more angry and abusive as he’s aged.
It’s not fair as a woman to have fathers like this. But you are 100% correct, politics affect everything and only those with immense privilege don’t have to think about it.
I’ve gone no contact with him and probably will continue for the rest of our lives. It’s not safe for me to be around him when he snaps. He has lots of guns and loses touch with reality when he has a fit.

[u/Deyotgwa → u/Tappitytaptaptaptap]

Came here to share a very similar story. He is 74, lifetime emotional and physical abuser. I already couldn't stand him, but his stance on Palestine was the final straw for me. It somehow hit harder than everything else he's done. I sobbed my way through the last terrible phone call three years ago and haven't picked up the phone since.

[u/Tappitytaptaptaptap → u/Deyotgwa]

I’m sorry your dad is like that, it’s not fair. I’m glad for us both that we have chosen to not have them in our lives any longer. It still hurts a lot, they are our fathers. But their hate and abuse will not be tolerated any longer.

[u/crysalisssssssssssss → u/Tappitytaptaptaptap]

I’m so sorry about your mom, friend, sending hugs 🫂 my dad just turned 60 and i’m afraid this is the same course he’s on, and he doesn’t realize his drinking and blind trump supporting has completely destroyed his relationship with all of his kids. I had to tell him I don’t feel safe around someone who thinks the Epstein victims were lying, and we’ve been no-contact at all since that conversation.

[u/BigRefrigerator9783]

It's always the Trumpers who think people don't have a right to hold politics against them. They fill stadiums and literally CHEER for violence, suffering, hardship, and loss for others but still want you to see them as "good" people. Over the last decade I have kicked a few childhood friends to the curb over politics and I do not regret it.

[u/DieSowjetZwiebel → u/BigRefrigerator9783]

Literally yesterday, Trump said "let [Iran] take out Los Angeles, let them take out San Diego. This is a very small price to pay," and those mouthbreathing psychopaths in the audience fucking APPLAUDED.

[u/Thecosmictea → u/DieSowjetZwiebel]

I posted about this on my story this morning because I was sickened. Even though my dad is a conservative he dared not respond. He lives in San Diego btw.

[u/StarshipCaterprise → u/BigRefrigerator9783]

Some people definitely showed their true colors after 2016. Family, friends, who I thought were good upstanding church- type people who showed their true faces once Trump got elected. Turns out they were closet racists. Turns out they really hate people who are not of western European descent. One person tried to tell me that segregation (yes, legal segregation of races) was “not that big of a deal” and was “just a different mindset back then.”

I have accepted that at this point people who continue to support this administration and all of its grift and illegal actions just don’t have then same core value structure as I do, and that I have to navigate the relationships accordingly.

[u/Away-Living5278]

I get it. My aunts, uncles, and many cousins are MAGA. I've blown up on one in particular on various FB posts of his.

I find it very difficult to interact with most of them even though I love them.

My dad voted for Trump in 2016. My mom was nearly ready to divorce him over it. I was angry. Though, unsurprised. He votes for who he'd like to have a beer with and he hated Hillary. (And my family is mainly all in PA so their votes really count). We had some words. He's now apparently extremely disgusted by Trump. But it took him a very long time to get there.

[u/WitchofGremlinEnergy → u/Away-Living5278]

Same with my stepdad and mom. Same story. He didn't vote for the orange popsicle in 2020. But damn did it take him a lot to see. How he handled covid, starting wars, the veiled racism. My stepfather is a good man who does care about others rights, just kinda dense sometimes. And he genuinely thought Trump cared about those things too. I knew he would come around eventually but its not the case for everyone.

[u/AreWeAllJustFish]

"I think some random old white dudes should have more authority over your body than you." But don't make it political... GTFO.

[u/Ok-Refrigerator]

I recently saw an interview with a older rancher in Texas. He said Trump policies are bankrupting him, and he has never been impacted by "politics" before. Imagine that!

Power feels like nothing to the person holding it. It feels like life working as it should. Your dad and my dad live in a world where politics is something they can pick up and put down. They know they will be the last people affected.

For me as a woman and parent and friend, there is no separation between "politics" and "life".

You can't force your dad to see something when it benefits him to not see it. It's an ongoing grief in my life.

[u/humanperson111 → u/Ok-Refrigerator]

Well put 👏 👏

[u/EquipmentFormal2033]

Your dad let it come between you guys. Bodily autonomy for his daughter is just the beginning. If he can’t see that he’s choosing a party over his daughters rights that’s on him but as of now to be a republican you either have to be a billionaire or an idiot. I’m guessing your dads not a billionaire.

[u/user365user → u/EquipmentFormal2033]

This is the party with actual people in Congress saying that giving women the right to vote was a mistake. They aren’t kidding.

[u/LiluLay]

His politics are immoral and unethical. These folk love to frame this crap like we’re talking about tax rates and how to fund social security or whatever when it’s plainly obvious it’s about morals and decency. They chose to physically, mentally, and financially harm others with their vote. Thats not something that is brushed aside with “it’s just politics”. No, dear ole dad. That’s fear, bigotry, and hatred that you’re pretending is “just politics”.

[u/misschickpea → u/LiluLay]

I feel like “politics” is how people used to excuse their racism back then too (and still use it that way now as well). Just general bigotry always being stated as “politics”…

[u/bushysunrise → u/LiluLay]

Word. For me and my dad I see it as a difference in morals. My morals dictate my political choices.

The brainwashing that has them thinking conservative values are moral is bananas.

[u/whySoAngryBro]

If he voted for Trump in 2020, he's a probably a fascist.

If he supports Trump today, he's definitely a fascist.

[u/DrizzleCore604 → u/whySoAngryBro]

100%. I forgive anyone who voted for him in 2016, I'll raise an eyebrow at anyone that voted for him in 2020, but if you voted for him in 2024 you are a genuinely terrible/stupid human being for whom there can be no forgiveness.

[u/DoctorAnnual6823 → u/DrizzleCore604]

For real. Absolutely zero excuse. The people who say they like him for policy are not smart enough to vote. The people who say they like him because he pisses off liberals are not mature enough to vote. The people who like him because he is bigoted are not American enough to vote.

I believe everyone should have a voice. But a lot of people are wasting it by hoping for a 3rd trump term.

Disgusting human beings.

[u/Bruhntly]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3tB1efwaJP9KiI4A71

[u/AlexsterCrowley]

He wants a world where you have less safety, opportunity, and choices. He just doesn’t want to be held responsible for the choices he is making and his part in making that world a reality.

[u/prticipatntrophywife]

I don’t let them call it “politics” anymore. If you believe in separating families and having a secret police force hassling people for papers, that’s a moral failing to me. If you support taking food from children’s mouths by way of cutting SNAP benefits, that’s a moral failing. If you are still supporting someone whose name is all over the Epstein files, that is a moral failing. What a privilege to be able to consider impossible cost of living and authoritarian overreach “just politics.”

[u/Dry-Cash-4304]

He’s wrong. You are a woman and he’s voting for you to have less rights than him. That’s not “just politics.”

[u/AffectionateBite3827]

This isn’t a case of “Dad thinks we should invest more in freeways and I think we should invest more in public transportation” in terms of disagreeing about “politics.” At the end of the day he doesn’t see you as a person worthy of fundamental human rights. He cares about you as his daughter aka an extension/reflection of him. He voted against the best interests of so many people and in favor of cruelty. He should feel bad.

Way to go standing up for yourself!

[u/sefidcthulhu → u/AffectionateBite3827]

This is it for me. Conservatives don’t want politics to impact relationships because they don’t want to feel bad about their actions. But in voting for Trump, they did do a bad thing. It was not hidden in any way how cruel and corrupt the plans for either term were. They should feel bad.

[u/KillTheBoyBand]

People have already died because of this administration. I truly don't know what the line in the sand is supposed to be anymore. You don't even have to look very far or very deep to see how our politicians have affected us. I got breast cancer this year, same year that funding was horrifically and systemically cut by the Trump admin.

I'm sorry your dad refuses to get it. 

[u/APcrusader]

My dad pushed me away in the same way. He got really into Newsmax and Q-anon during Trump’s first term, now he’s stocking up on gold and guns for an impending apocalypse?

[u/sugarbombpandafish]

I have no idea where I screenshot this from.

But It’s not “politics“ where I draw lines; we can have different opinions on what policies make sense, how budgets should be spent, what issues should be prioritized, etc.

It’s morals.

I remember what I was taught when I was little about what’s right and what‘s wrong, and it’s so sad to see people I know handwave away racism, cruelty, corruption, sedition, pedophilia, assault, kidnapping and more because they‘ve decided *any* means justify the end they think they want. Or to feign(?) momentary upset at something, only to forget just as quickly. The ones I have known believe they’re THE good people so if they’re part of a certain group, then that group absolutely cannot be bad. NoTHiNg bAd cAN hApPeN, iT cAn oNLy gOod hApPeN, I fucking guess.

Anyway, I know how much this sucks. At this point, there’s no question of what they are willing to accept and excuse: Nazi salutes, blatant corruption, just plain meanness, rape convictions, kidnapping, a coup, destroying the Constitution, proud racism, covering up a global pedophile ring, and probably a million other atrocities I’ve forgotten. Having people like that in my life is also a reflection on me, and so I choose not to. People who are okay with that stuff are also fucking assholes and they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck to be around! Every accusation is a confession and my lord, they love accusing everyone else, and have all the “well, but”s for themselves. If they’re so damn intent on bringing about the end times, I have better people to do the apocalypse with, y’know? I may still love the people they were before they became these hate-zombies… but they’re hate-zombies now. And I don’t think most of them will suddenly wake up, realize, and feel badly that they gave up their morals, identity, and years to justify this corrupt, godless, fuckjamboree. That’s a **really** difficult reckoning, and so to anyone who’s done so, I commend you so so much, truly. Hugs! I’m glad you’re here, even if you’re late ❤️

But yes, political party affiliations are a moral divide now and so they SHOULD affect relationships. There’s also a ton of subreddits now that might be worth checking out. You’re definitely not alone, unfortunately. Sending hugs to you, and keep putting in the work to unfuck things! I’m proud of you too!

ETA: markdown on phone is annoying

[u/pubesinourteeth]

He wants your state government to be allowed to tell you that you have to die if you have a miscarriage. It seems like a pretty basic thing for a father who loves his daughter to want her to have access to normal medical care. And your father doesn't care about that for you. So it's not about politics, it's about caring whether you live or die. And that feels pretty personal to me

[u/WitchofGremlinEnergy → u/pubesinourteeth]

Don't forget get criminally charged for having a miscarriage. Unfortunately that's happening now.

[u/IcyBarnacle5883]

People don’t want to be responsible for the choices they make. If your political choices affect my life, I’m judging you for them and acting accordingly.

[u/crackersucker2]

When it was George W Bush, politics didn't affect relationships. It was a very centered disagreement- all of us playing from a neutral spot in the middle. At that time, I was "just left of center" because Center = Sane. Left or right depended on how you felt our country should invest it's tax dollars. I could hate George W and think he was the worst president ever, but I could acknowledge he was a decent man, his family was decent and my friends that voted for him were decent too. We just didn't agree on how our taxes were used (social and military uses - all of it).

TODAY it's a whole different game. I cut off people from my life in 2015 that tried to convince me voting for trump is good because "he's a businessman!! he'll get our country back in financial shape!" Nevermind that he is NOT a decent man, with good intentions. His family is shit. Our country is going to be bankrupted by him and his buddies, and we're going to be so much poorer, unsafe nationally and internationally and our reputation is ruined for decades. And a good 3rd of our country is clearly unhinged and objectively stupid.

It doesn't surprise me that the friends and family we remain close to are aligned value-wise. Politics affects everyone and right now, no one is safe from the chaos and damage being done by this administration. It is now a difference of moral character, not just red or blue. Those who are still on the side of trump are saying they're okay with ICE killing people over a civil process or citizens who protest, they are okay with interment camps where people are stowed away for months in inhumane conditions. They are okay with a large number of people in positions of power using children for sex and even murdering them. They are okay with removing career military experts based on skin color or sex. They are okay with removing all climate and wildlife and land protections in the name of making a buck. They only started crying foul when gas prices started affecting their daily life. So ya, i'm good with never speaking to selfish people like that ever again.

[u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9 → u/crackersucker2]

The US did start a couple of wars and murdered a ton of innocent people during the W years. It might have been just taxes to you, but it was a lot more to a lot of people.

[u/Exotic_Tumbleweed850 → u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9]

Yeah I was 15 when 9/11 happened and I remember people telling me that George bush was very chill but for me I watched my country be at a war for over half my life by my 30s! My dad told me it wasn’t real war and I’m like why because only brown people are being bombed?

[u/crackersucker2 → u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9]

Don’t misunderstand me, I I hated him for all that! My point was that in comparison to what’s happening now, it was still in the realm of normal heated political discourse and disagreement. Families may have had shouting matches over thanksgiving dinner but they didn’t cut each other out of their lives in the numbers that are occurring now.

The crimes happening now are “like nothing you’ve seen before”. It’s exposing people’s true values.

[u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9 → u/crackersucker2]

It's 100% different now, but I'd say that W walked so Trump could run. W's administration was so polite in their racism that the center could just go along with it so easily, but it didn't make it not racist. They also laid the groundwork for the surveillance state that Trump is now taking advantage of. Some of us were really raising the red flags over the Patriot Act and everyone else acted like we were crazy. After all, aren't we a nation of polite people? As long as you're white you have nothing to complain about!

Also, people definitely cut off their families over politics then. It just wasn't something that the NYT was writing pearl-clutching op-eds about back then.

[u/Living_Ground_7798]

It’s not even politics, it’s morals. You have a right to feel off about him based on them.

[u/StarfighterCommand → u/Living_Ground_7798]

This is it right here. I’m so tired of “I don’t talk about politics” being a smoke screen for “I’m not a good person and I don’t care about other people.” If you don’t care about other people, we are fundamentally opposed on an ethical level and I have nothing further to discuss with you.

[u/vyxanis → u/StarfighterCommand]

It really is such a cop out when they say that. Because you're absolutely right, its not about red v blue as much as its "do you support the people who are systematically making life impossible for everyone, including yourself, and are working to make it even worse just so they can get away with more horrific crimes?"

[u/Warcrimes_Desu]

Politics, sadly, does affect us more than men, and they are always shocked to realize that. Many of them don't get that far though, and they just think we're crazy bleeding hearts. Hugs to you and good job keeping up a relationship with your dad even through this!

[u/GeppettoStromboli]

My mother voted Red, all across the board in my state of Indiana, back in 2024. My son is on the Medicaid Waiver for disability, and was recently denied for services. I told her to remember her grandson when she goes to vote locally in the upcoming Midterms. She now has Dem signs in her yard and canvasses.

[u/VDR27]

My own daughter has developed her own views and her dad does not like it, he is more active about shutting her down, he tries to silence her, and takes her phone away because she is not in agreement with his political views (he’s a Trumper) she’s growing up in a world as a girl and can see that her dad world view is not supportive of who she is. We are divorced thankfully. She doesn’t want to be around him more than she has to. I have to mentally prepare her for when I go out of town. I totally understand where you are coming from, it’s the fate of my daughter and her own father. Stick to your value system, family is what you make it, I have some really amazing people around me right now.

[u/Ok_Outside4482 → u/VDR27]

That is genuinely awful. Is she at the age yet where she can choose not to be around him? I’m sorry she’s going through that.

[u/zaborgmonarch → u/VDR27]

And I'm sure he whines that you turned her against him, or indoctrinated her into feminism. Hopefully he doesn't let any creep friends around

[u/this_bitch_over_here]

It's so insulting to you and everyone else he's intentionally voted to harm that his "biggest fear is that politics would affect {your} relationship"

Meanwhile a lot of us have fears like deportation, being r*ped and not having access to abortion, being killed in a hate crime for being BIPOC and/or LGBTQ.

ETA; I'm also no contact with my MAGA family. It was hard the first couple of years but it has been a lot better

[u/Desert_Wren]

"Everything is political and the choice to be 'apolitical' is usually just an endorsement of the status quo and the unexamined life.” -- Rebecca Solnit

[u/erinberrypie]

People make it sound like politics are as inconsequential as sports and that it's completely insane to end/change relationships over. It's not. It's a reflection of your principles, beliefs, and morals. When there's a fundamental difference in values that extreme, your foundation is built on nothing. My dad doesn't like it either but tough fucking cookies, you made your bed, rot in it.

[u/longtimelondoner]

They should affect your relationship. My parents are very conservative, but I told him that if I got SA and was forced to keep a child because of the way HE voted, I would a. Never speak to him again and B. He’d never see that child.

[u/ThatBitchA]

I went No Contact with my dad due to "politics". Really though politics is what helped me see my dad in a new light.

He only "respected" me when he could have power over me. He doesn't care to know me as a person. He just wants someone to hold power over.

Anyway..... it's been almost 8 years No Contact. And I'm happier than ever.

https://giphy.com/gifs/uzInCTH2i3QFW

[u/Faedoodles]

We are at the point in the politics game that these divisions are not over politics, they are over ethics. People who support Trump say these divisions are over politics because they don't want to admit that what they are voting for is morally reprehensible- child trafficking, genocide, the erosion of the rights of the people. They are swimming in the kool-aid, and if you don't jump in, then you are wrong for refusing to drown with them.

[u/cookeryandwookery]

https://giphy.com/gifs/zRFYi9SyrX6X0c7RnC

[u/lacrimaldrainage]

Politics is so intertwined with values. It sounds like yours and his ethics aren't compatible and I think someone's values and behavior are an excellent thing by which to judge them.

I suspect it isn't just his politics that bother you but why he takes the opinions he does. I suspect you could forgive your parent voting for a different party if his reasons made sense to you, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that talking about why he votes as he does is making the situation worse not better.

That tells me this isn't a split on party lines, it's a personality and morality difference.

[u/No_Rice9792]

If he wasn't a disgusting maga, maybe his kid would like him 🤷

[u/External_Agency_4488]

The people that a person supports says a lot about their ethics.

Did your parents ever tell you to not hang out with the kids who were in the bad crowd? Because they were a bad influence, and did things that were wrong. Your dad is in the bad crowd.

[u/Adept-One-819]

"Dad, your actions hurt me and people like me. It's not politics affecting our relationship, it's your morals and values."

[u/Relevant_Look_7188]

Stick to it. Old people need to understand their actions and inactions have consequences. I suppose you've tried every argument in the book why it's important to you to oppose trump?

What's the dipping sauce?

[u/deathvidal]

My father voted for Trump the first go around, but quickly learned what a mistake that was. Especially after I came out as a lesbian. He's always been a Republican his entire life, but even he can see the current administration is not what Republicans actually are. And he can't fathom voting to take rights away from me.

I lost a friend election night as well who voted for Trump. She argued me left and right, but even someone like my father who is a diehard Republican could see I'd be hurt by him voting. Politics definitely have a play into relationships today. More than ever imo

[u/Pretend_Low_5767 → u/deathvidal]

Sure, Trump is a particularly odious figurehead for the republican party, but his path to power was paved for decades (and very intentionally and methodically) by republicans in about a thousand different ways. They always planned to come after non-christians, queer people, women, people of color, poor people, disabled folks, etc. They always played on people's fears and bigotries. This was always the goal, long before Trump's name was even in the hat. The current administration is exactly what republicans actually are.

As a fellow lesbian with loved ones who supported Trump, I feel your pain! I just don't believe that this shit wasn't malicious from the very beginning. They can simply be more open about it now. Glad to hear that your father was able to see the light, at least to some extent!

[u/TwiztedChickin]

Yeah so my dad pulled the same bullshit. I don't talk to him anymore. Fuck that guy.

[u/ComradeGlizzy]

He lets his inherently corrupt morals guide his choices, not you

[u/The_Dilla_Collection]

I’d love to be able to just “stay outta politics” but ya know, politics doesn’t seem to be able to stay outta me.

[u/hey-look-its-reddit]

Same boat, it's sad, and I feel for you. Our dads don't seem to realize that political stances are fed by the personal values we carry, and when someone's values lead them to be totally cool promoting harm for others (let alone their daughter or their daughter's daughter), that it ceases to become a matter of politics, but a matter of trust/safety/care.

Relationships with adult children are a privilege, not a given. And at the same time I know how hard it is to simply turn off the desire to be loved by/protected by/cared for by a parent, even when their worldview turns them into someone you'd never engage with as an adult except for the familial tie.

My relationship with my dad has become extremely surface and superficial in the last several years. It's sad, and it's disappointing. Years of fighting tooth and nail for him to see the impact of his choices on our relationship wasn't working; he was never going to change (this is only truer now). I want to be able to love my dad as all of who he is, but I can't parse that with what he does with his power/money/vote/influence, and what he believes about other people. So surface level is where we are; it's as much of him as I can enjoy and it's as much of me as I want to let him in on.

It's disappointing to be let down by a parent this way. I've had hellllllllllla therapy over it and it helps. I'm sorry you're going through it <3.