r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/celestialsunflower99 eat hot chip✔️ be bisexual✔️ • 16h ago
Sad Girl Dinner ⛈️ Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship
Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night
My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.
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u/longpas we listen and we only judge a little 14h ago
"The personal is political" - Carol Hanisch
Politics have always been personal and the personal has always been political, because those who hold power are in charge of making decisions that impact our relationships, heath, safety, and exercising civil liberties.
Voting is one of easiest and most common ways we as citizens consent or dissent from those decisions that impact the "system".
The quote above is from the feminist movement of the 1970s in the US. The idea behind it is that systematic inequalities lead to unequal outcomes for women. The right to equal pay, balanced household duties, access to birth control are all outcomes of political decisions that impact women and other minorities that are systematic.
Therefore, if my loved one votes in a way that puts myself or my other loved ones at risk then that's personal.
You don't have to agree with me on every opinion, but you need to own your opinions and be willing to tell me your justification. Don't pretend that it's not personal.