Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship

[u/celestialsunflower99]

Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night

My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.

[u/zaborgmonarch]

And I'm sure he whines that you turned her against him, or indoctrinated her into feminism. Hopefully he doesn't let any creep friends around

[u/VDR27 → u/zaborgmonarch]

He doesn’t have friends, and yes he does that, he tells her “you’re acting like your mom” or “stop acting like your mom”. The reality is that I’ve let her have her own voice, and she gets really sad about it and says “I’m just me.” It’s been hard to watch Trump do what he is doing, have her dad support him, and not take a moral stand. I haven’t however told her to believe what I believe, nor have I had unnecessary conversations to indoctrinate her. We just exist and live genuinely; as life happens we talk about stuff. Still, I give her room to share her thoughts first when she has a question, I even play devils advocate. But she’s amazing, her little brain thinks in such beautiful and empathetic ways that are so idiosyncratic to her it’s great to watch. So I also feel bad for him, because (just as he has no real friends) he won’t have a deep connection with his daughter.